DOJ |OT| SUMMIT NOW SUMMIT NOW

[OnlyRegret]

My Grandma left Russia with her parents to avoid dying during the revolution. I'm sure she hated blacks along the way though.

I see you nazi sympathizers

[halfanhourglass]

Is there any chance I could be a verified Bore incident manager? I am very good at managing incidents. And verbally abusing old white women.

[Leadbelly]

I think the job of a good incident manager is to create incidents and then manage them. That way you always have work on your hands.

[Potato]

User Banned (2 weeks): Sexist Dog Whistle

Anita has been quiet lately and the Mandalorian is HUGE. Makes sense...

User banned (2 weeks): sexist dog whistle

Doesn't matter if she's right or wrong - she got the reaction she wanted.

what

Don't criticise my SJW content creator! Criticism = Nazism

[Joe Molotov]

TELL THE CREW TO PUSH THE (veggie) WHOPPER BUTTON!

[Cauliflower Of Love]

"Grandma, which side were you on when the Civil War broke out?"

#teambuckysucksmorethancaptainamerica

[Cauliflower Of Love]

"Wow. Nearly 3000 replies because one woman voices her opinion that we shouldn’t be at a point anymore where we just accept media that normalizes patriarchy. Cool cool cool. Everyone’s having a normal one I see."

If no one replies, then it's everyone ignoring the opinion right?

You know, I don't want alt-right twats to co-op this but it's fucking weird how white feminists always just happen to target shows led by latinos or black people to make these (very valid) points. And I like Anita a Lot and she has made deep adjustments in terms on race, but this keeps happening among white feminists somehow and it's tiring.

[Kara]

My Grandma left Russia with her parents to avoid dying during the revolution. I'm sure she hated blacks along the way though.

We all love Pushkin.

[Snoopycat_]

Oh jeez, this dude actually dared to question one of the alphabet people

https://www.resetera.com/threads/resetera-moderation-staff-is-fucking-up-beyond-belief-on-lgbt-issues.153951/page-43#post-26710960

[benjipwns]

I am as I identify. Please move on from questioning my identity.

[OnlyRegret]

that was a fast and a perma too
lmao, they are coming down even harder on anything vaguely related to lgbt things

[benjipwns]

Do not question the identity that FeistyBoots just discovered a few months ago at 43 years old.

[Hermit]

They're playing favorites with the alphabet people I see

[Pwnz]

I just fucking can't with that shit. Pansexual lesbian. Okay whatever floats your boat, but a perm.

This is why I ignore those threads. Eventually they'll be full of whatever troll circle jerk is going on but with no one left to troll.

[Potato]

I am as I identify. Please move on from questioning my identity.

Translation: "I have no fucking idea what I'm talking about so don't you dare ask legitimate questions about my made up, contradictory identity."

[Potato]

Pansexual lesbian...isn't that just bisexual?

Or is bisexuality too low in the hierarchy of the oppression Olympics these days?

[Hermit]

Being so eager to identify as that many different sexual preferences/identities makes me think this person just wants attention

[Drainage]

I thought Hobbes was briefly annihilated for at least a week

[Hermit]

I thought Hobbes was briefly annihilated for at least a week

He probably whined and got unbanned early

[Drainage]

I am as I identify. Please move on from questioning my identity.

I am as I identify, which is non-bigoted. Please move on from questioning my motives.

[Cauliflower Of Love]

Isn't wanting to be only romantically involved with one gender discriminatory to other genders?


At least that what I learned from era.

[Potato]

Oh jeez, this dude actually dared to question one of the alphabet people

https://www.resetera.com/threads/resetera-moderation-staff-is-fucking-up-beyond-belief-on-lgbt-issues.153951/page-43#post-26710960

User Banned (permanent): dismissive comments surrounding gender identity and sexual orientation, prior severe infractions

Mods: "We did a good thing here."
Sane REEEsetera members (all 3 of then): "WTF? These people are crazy. Enough Off Topic for today, tomorrow and the rest of forever."

[TVC15]

Oh jeez, this dude actually dared to question one of the alphabet people

https://www.resetera.com/threads/resetera-moderation-staff-is-fucking-up-beyond-belief-on-lgbt-issues.153951/page-43#post-26710960

Ugh, look at this...

No, they don't. I'm sexually attracted to any gender (if I'm close to them, being demi), but romantically attracted to only women. Sexuality and romantic/emotional attraction are not the same. I am a pansexual lesbian.

I just got home from work, but somebody linked me to this editing test. Ugh. I hate these. What do I always tell writers? Something about being concise. Okay, this one is pretty easy fix...

I have too much free time.

[benjipwns]

Being so eager to identify as that many different sexual preferences/identities makes me think this person just wants attention

Meet FeistyBoots:


They credit Ketkat for helping them realize their true sexual/gender identity a few months ago.

[Hermit]

This isn't even my final form!

There's some sad shit in that post, though. Jesus.

[Potato]

This isn't even my final form!

There's some sad shit in that post, though. Jesus.

Yes, but this is a REEEseteran, most of that story is likely made up to compete with the other lunatics and the rest is exaggerated.

[benjipwns]

Even if you almost fail out of every other grade in life all the way through college Blizzard might still hire you at age 43!

Never give up, never surrender!

[Potato]

I thought Hobbes was briefly annihilated for at least a week

He's still banned for 5 days.

[remy]

I get the bit about bullying due to gender identity, and that life story in general sounds like a nightmare but being bullied  sexual orientation? Aren't they a trans lesbian? were they being bullied for being a effeminiate biological male attracted to women 

am I a moron?

[Hermit]

I'm 30 and have no career path aside from my family business, so I guess they have that going for them ?_?

[benjipwns]

[benjipwns]

I get the bit about bullying due to gender identity, and that life story in general sounds like a nightmare but being bullied  sexual orientation? Aren't they a trans lesbian? were they being bullied for being a effeminiate biological male attracted to women 

am I a moron?

No, they were bullied for being trans, a woman, pansexual, a lesbian, and demisexual. The fact that they only discovered they were some of these things in 2019 does not mean they were not always those things, they just didn't know. But the bullies did. Stop JAQing, you're not slick.

[Hermit]

You can't ask questions. Ever. It's all in bad faith! Always! Straight people are out to attack us, the holy alphabet folx.

[Potato]

I get the bit about bullying due to gender identity, and that life story in general sounds like a nightmare but being bullied  sexual orientation? Aren't they a trans lesbian? were they being bullied for being a effeminiate biological male attracted to women 

am I a moron?

Like I said, lies and exaggeration.

[Potato]

(Image removed from quote.)

All mods are cops
All cops are bastards

[Bore Expert]

https://www.resetera.com/threads/im-a-conservative-is-that-allowed-here.1896/

Vintage Era

[bork]

https://www.resetera.com/threads/im-a-conservative-is-that-allowed-here.1896/

Vintage Era

"Banned for using a prohibited e-mail provider."

[Cauliflower Of Love]

Banned for using a prohibited e-mail provider.

[Hermit]

Banned for using a prohibited e-mail provider

 

[Bore Expert]

read on, it gets better 

[benjipwns]

You can't ask questions. Ever. It's all in bad faith! Always! Straight people are out to attack us, the holy alphabet folx.

One problem that does need to be addressed that isn't strictly administration's fault is that, as per Ketkat's post, mods are quite influenced by the fact that there's communities dedicated to harassing Era and trying to tear us down. Honestly, this affects us all-- given what I've seen over the past few days, I'm skeptical that Era's trans members didn't have the same kind of spotlight pointed on them the whole time. And if they didn't before, thanks to this debacle, they certainly do now. Given my observations about certain posters in the past, mods being lax about transphobic posters has knock-on effects for all of ERA, because the CHUDs in question have all the impulse control of toddlers. People are wise enough to brand new accounts with all of four posts chiming in on sensitive topics, so even those individuals have an impetus to participate in the community, if only to build up enough cover to cause trouble. And wouldn't you know it, it just so happens that threads about trans people happen to always be full of people showing their asses 24/7. I'm going to suggest there's a correlation there. I'm going to suggest the alt-right dickheads that like to go after ERA like going after marginalized and vulnerable people most of all, and that protecting our most marginalized and vulnerable voices readily translates to making all of us safer. That includes the mods. That's more true now, after this, than it ever has been.

[benjipwns]

Yeah he’s still banned.

benji just keeps random screenshots of his posts around because he’s a pathetic loser.

Hobbes is not a pathetic loser you piece of shit.

[TVC15]

I thought Hobbes was briefly annihilated for at least a week

He's still banned for 5 days.

Yeah he’s still banned.

benji just keeps random screenshots of his posts around because he’s a pathetic loser.

He’s the kind of guy that would brag about giving Spiro Agnew a blowjob.

[Cauliflower Of Love]

Only being romantically attracted to women would be a form of lesbianism.

[benjipwns]

Sometimes I forget you are also an unfunny chode.

lol you're banned from NeoGAF.com

[benjipwns]

Plus, it's not at all random, it's completely on topic (why thanksgiving is awful) and absolutely relevant to the sole reason why we shouldn't cancel the genocide celebration (it's an opportunity to call out bigots in the family) which would be an incident that needs managing and who better to turn to than the man who managed the incident that was the war that thanksgiving is based on?

Quite frankly, I'm starting to wonder if I shouldn't join Hobbes in placing you on an ignore list.

[BIONIC]

I see you BIONIC

 

Weaponized likes 

[benjipwns]

https://www.resetera.com/threads/we-need-to-have-a-discussion-about-how-members-treat-other-members-on-this-site-and-among-other-issues.154572/

So I'd been mulling about bringing up this subject because I am absolutely not the person to really be able to express myself easily, but I think we really need to have a center focused discussion about this.

We most recently just had an issue that occurred in the Trans Awareness Week and the LGBT Issues Moderation threads, which covered aspects of the issue that I'm going to be discussing in this thread, because I feel it's incredibly important. And I absolutely think there are more significant problems on this board that need to be addressed further that both relate to those issues, as well as outside of them as well.

Before I start, I need to explain something:

I am an individual who has a number of disabilities that relate to a combination of mental health, as well as mental developmental problems. Some of these include:

- Inability to quickly process thoughts and understanding said information and communication given to me.
- Inability to properly articulate what I want to say both in a text and vocal conversation. The latter is significantly worse than the former, but I absolutely do struggle to be able to communicate easily. As a result, I cannot easily and properly explain things as a result, especially in instances of heavy and emotional distress.
- I do not understand and cannot properly process spacial relation issues, which creates problems when I'm given directions on how to get to a place or what I do (I often end up going left instead of right, for instance). It also affected my ability to properly delve into aspect of Geometry, which I at the time, didn't understand why these particular things were giving me issues.
- Emotionally, I'm underdeveloped from the rest of my peers and as a result, it does make things more difficult for me to handle.
- I have anxiety, panic attack disorders, constant heart palpitations, and I both shut down and break down easily under stress. Because of this, I am disabled, on disability, and attempts to try to put me in the work force have not been successful. I am 30 years old, have practically no college experience, and never worked properly either.
- For many of my issues, I am attending and seeing multiple people at a local mental health clinic, but it's a life long issue for me and I do not see myself improving. It's more just trying to cope with what I do have at this point and trying to deal with it the best I can.

And there's more issues I can get into.

As to why this relates to what I'm about to discuss, awhile back after I had a bad experience on Grindr, I opened a thread to vent. The result? Immediately an automatic assumptions, misunderstanding what I was saying, and it got to the point that I do not believe that the topic warranted further discussion. The topic can be read here.

What happened is I did not properly explain what happened, I was under distress, and I was not able to communicate properly. What ultimately happened was during the beginning of the conversation, I apologized to the user I had not updated my profile image in a bit, I sent him what I had at the start of the conversation, we communicated and made sure everything was okay from the get go, and somehow the user not long after that made some of those comments. Ultimately, it's no big deal in the end and I just learn from it and move on.

The topic was another matter. I was called out for "Cat fishing", and it resulted in a user bumping the thread in another topic which suggested it heavily implied to be me given the wording. To add onto this, there were comments intentionally fat shaming me, and among other issues in the said thread.

Another thread that I had opened up, regarding a trending topic on Twitter and I asked users how their High School experience was, a individual posted the following text:

From the sounds of it maybe a school that could better deal w/ your behavioral issues might have done the trick, doesn’t seem like that school was working out for you.

I literally responded to the user to clarify, but they ignored my post and I can only imagine from that they were automatically assuming the worst about me and making said comment.

In another thread, after I brought up my experience on Tinder as a whole (which was a mixture, positive and negative, I think we all had that), individuals proceeded to try and "Call me out", including saying the reason they stopped talking to me was because I got caught "cat fishing", and then when I tried to explain my situation how I struggle to communicate, individual proceeded to say that I should google communication guides and stuff like that and practice and it didn't seem to matter at that point what I had to say.

For reference: Once I became aware of my communication issues, I had to learn how to communicate (took me over a year and I was still practicing since about 2003 or so), but I feel that as if I've hit a brick wall on this and I think I'm at my limit. Even my doctor told me not to over think it as this point and it's okay if I can't easily say what I have to.

These are issues that I personally experience and I feel are minor probably compared to some users, but I feel this is still worth mentioning. This is not okay and it makes me, a person with a number of issues as is, uncomfortable here.

However, we have had issues with some other topics, which I had minimal participation in, such as some of the Gym topics, in how they can be incredibly toxic in nature, and honestly: overly condescending.

Most recent topic comes to mind is this one, both in the OPs title, text, and the poll options. I often people see them post this in threads and it really bugs me as a user that I at first thought was a joke, but this topic seems to serve otherwise, including the responses feel kinda unwelcoming. There was also a topic I participated that also felt incredibly toxic and judgmental, and as a person who struggles to deal with self-esteem issues on top of what I detailed, this only made me feel worse seeing comments like this. Users did call some of this out, but doesn't feel it made an impact.

Now, this isn't intended to be a call out to individual users (and I realize it's hard not to discuss this without bringing up specific topics or posts, so I apologize for this), because I don't think it's specifically one or two people, but the fact many users are not being held accountable by some of the behavior replicated.

I do believe my personal issues, arguably are probably minor, but as someone who has to deal with miscommunications on a day-to-day basis, difficulty explaining myself, and then I feel people automatically assuming the worst, only makes these topics more difficult to post in these.

I've heard from users how uncomfortable they feel posting in Dating, Gym/Fitness threads, and among other ones, as well as some of the comments I've seen with people dealing with mental health issues and disabilities, is frustrating.

Not to mention, we've had threads asking for simple accessibility options, threads about possible issues with strobing/flashing that could cause seizures, many of these are ignored and buried quickly, or the topics become incredibly toxic that there is no conversation to be had.

We really need to talk about all these issues. I'm trying my best on this forum, and I realize a lot of times, I mess up, I try to explain myself better, and now I feel as if I ever want to post in a dating or relationship related thread, users will be quick to point out the thread above, without adding context, or I'll also be handwaved about my communication issues.

I should NOT feel this way about a forum that prides itself is making users feel safe. And I'm sure more users feel this way.

So really, we need to talk about this. How can we change this? How can this be addressed? How can the Admin/Mods make this safer? Because as it stands, I just simply do not feel safe on this forum in a majority of topics. I try and I keep posting, but I always feel I'm this close to somehow making a mistake and it just following me wherever I post.

This needs to be addressed.

[TVC15]

Meh

[benjipwns]

The problem is I have on a couple occasions attempt to report some users and it took the cat calling bump thread I mentioned above, for a user to get banned. I don't feel the report system is reliable and I feel bad saying this, but it's absolutely true. I don't think the systems in place are enough to keep me and other users safe.

[benjipwns]

rip brainchild

Really gonna miss him. Very thought-provoking and informative person.

[benjipwns]

https://www.resetera.com/threads/how-does-a-senate-trial-work.154559/

Like the one we're having only with 200% more Bullshit and 500% more unwinnable

Is it televised?

if trump gets kicked out of office does pence too?

I think United States needs a Constitutional amendment to clearly define how to impeach a President, and to make the process very clear and fair for all parties. Also, the impeachment process should always be a criminal process, not a political one.

I hope, if I ever get in any trouble with the law, I too get to have a meeting with my jury to decide whether I want to have a trial or just dismiss the whole thing straight away.

It is very clear. The issue is it doesn't happen often. This is like the 4th time: Jackson, Nixon, Clinton, Trump.

[benjipwns]

First off, I wanted to say that I am sorry for the experiences you've been through, both on the site and in real life, that have caused you such pain. Also, I wanted to thank you for making this thread; it is incredibly well thought out and you make many good points.

Now, to address your concerns. Over the past couple of days, the entire staff have discussed at length the best ways to make the site feel more inclusive and welcoming to everyone, no matter your mental or physical health, your sexuality, your gender identity, upbringing, race, whatever. A lot of these problems cannot be solved overnight and will take time to completely rectify. However, the things that we are looking at doing in the immediate future are going to allow the site to foster of community of warmth.

One of the biggest things we are looking into implementing is a community relations program with a designated liaison. We hope to bridge the invisible gap between site staff and the general user base and be more active in the issues our members are facing. We want people to feel comfortable coming to us with concerns or questions they may have.

We are actively looking into a more diverse staff, both in terms or race, gender identity, sexual orientation, religious preference, etc. so that all members feel represented and acknowledged.

I know that this does not provide solutions to everything that you brought up, but we are working on many, many more things that we hope will change the culture of the site going forward. The general unease that many members face about posting in threads is something that we are aware of, and we are actively working on a plan that will address this and change the way people interact with each other here.

If you have any other questions that you would like to talk about in private (if that is more comfortable for you), my PM box is open.

[BIONIC]

https://www.resetera.com/threads/we-need-to-have-a-discussion-about-how-members-treat-other-members-on-this-site-and-among-other-issues.154572/

So I'd been mulling about bringing up this subject because I am absolutely not the person to really be able to express myself easily, but I think we really need to have a center focused discussion about this.

We most recently just had an issue that occurred in the Trans Awareness Week and the LGBT Issues Moderation threads, which covered aspects of the issue that I'm going to be discussing in this thread, because I feel it's incredibly important. And I absolutely think there are more significant problems on this board that need to be addressed further that both relate to those issues, as well as outside of them as well.

Before I start, I need to explain something:

I am an individual who has a number of disabilities that relate to a combination of mental health, as well as mental developmental problems. Some of these include:

- Inability to quickly process thoughts and understanding said information and communication given to me.
- Inability to properly articulate what I want to say both in a text and vocal conversation. The latter is significantly worse than the former, but I absolutely do struggle to be able to communicate easily. As a result, I cannot easily and properly explain things as a result, especially in instances of heavy and emotional distress.
- I do not understand and cannot properly process spacial relation issues, which creates problems when I'm given directions on how to get to a place or what I do (I often end up going left instead of right, for instance). It also affected my ability to properly delve into aspect of Geometry, which I at the time, didn't understand why these particular things were giving me issues.
- Emotionally, I'm underdeveloped from the rest of my peers and as a result, it does make things more difficult for me to handle.
- I have anxiety, panic attack disorders, constant heart palpitations, and I both shut down and break down easily under stress. Because of this, I am disabled, on disability, and attempts to try to put me in the work force have not been successful. I am 30 years old, have practically no college experience, and never worked properly either.
- For many of my issues, I am attending and seeing multiple people at a local mental health clinic, but it's a life long issue for me and I do not see myself improving. It's more just trying to cope with what I do have at this point and trying to deal with it the best I can.

And there's more issues I can get into.

As to why this relates to what I'm about to discuss, awhile back after I had a bad experience on Grindr, I opened a thread to vent. The result? Immediately an automatic assumptions, misunderstanding what I was saying, and it got to the point that I do not believe that the topic warranted further discussion. The topic can be read here.

What happened is I did not properly explain what happened, I was under distress, and I was not able to communicate properly. What ultimately happened was during the beginning of the conversation, I apologized to the user I had not updated my profile image in a bit, I sent him what I had at the start of the conversation, we communicated and made sure everything was okay from the get go, and somehow the user not long after that made some of those comments. Ultimately, it's no big deal in the end and I just learn from it and move on.

The topic was another matter. I was called out for "Cat fishing", and it resulted in a user bumping the thread in another topic which suggested it heavily implied to be me given the wording. To add onto this, there were comments intentionally fat shaming me, and among other issues in the said thread.

Another thread that I had opened up, regarding a trending topic on Twitter and I asked users how their High School experience was, a individual posted the following text:

From the sounds of it maybe a school that could better deal w/ your behavioral issues might have done the trick, doesn’t seem like that school was working out for you.

I literally responded to the user to clarify, but they ignored my post and I can only imagine from that they were automatically assuming the worst about me and making said comment.

In another thread, after I brought up my experience on Tinder as a whole (which was a mixture, positive and negative, I think we all had that), individuals proceeded to try and "Call me out", including saying the reason they stopped talking to me was because I got caught "cat fishing", and then when I tried to explain my situation how I struggle to communicate, individual proceeded to say that I should google communication guides and stuff like that and practice and it didn't seem to matter at that point what I had to say.

For reference: Once I became aware of my communication issues, I had to learn how to communicate (took me over a year and I was still practicing since about 2003 or so), but I feel that as if I've hit a brick wall on this and I think I'm at my limit. Even my doctor told me not to over think it as this point and it's okay if I can't easily say what I have to.

These are issues that I personally experience and I feel are minor probably compared to some users, but I feel this is still worth mentioning. This is not okay and it makes me, a person with a number of issues as is, uncomfortable here.

However, we have had issues with some other topics, which I had minimal participation in, such as some of the Gym topics, in how they can be incredibly toxic in nature, and honestly: overly condescending.

Most recent topic comes to mind is this one, both in the OPs title, text, and the poll options. I often people see them post this in threads and it really bugs me as a user that I at first thought was a joke, but this topic seems to serve otherwise, including the responses feel kinda unwelcoming. There was also a topic I participated that also felt incredibly toxic and judgmental, and as a person who struggles to deal with self-esteem issues on top of what I detailed, this only made me feel worse seeing comments like this. Users did call some of this out, but doesn't feel it made an impact.

Now, this isn't intended to be a call out to individual users (and I realize it's hard not to discuss this without bringing up specific topics or posts, so I apologize for this), because I don't think it's specifically one or two people, but the fact many users are not being held accountable by some of the behavior replicated.

I do believe my personal issues, arguably are probably minor, but as someone who has to deal with miscommunications on a day-to-day basis, difficulty explaining myself, and then I feel people automatically assuming the worst, only makes these topics more difficult to post in these.

I've heard from users how uncomfortable they feel posting in Dating, Gym/Fitness threads, and among other ones, as well as some of the comments I've seen with people dealing with mental health issues and disabilities, is frustrating.

Not to mention, we've had threads asking for simple accessibility options, threads about possible issues with strobing/flashing that could cause seizures, many of these are ignored and buried quickly, or the topics become incredibly toxic that there is no conversation to be had.

We really need to talk about all these issues. I'm trying my best on this forum, and I realize a lot of times, I mess up, I try to explain myself better, and now I feel as if I ever want to post in a dating or relationship related thread, users will be quick to point out the thread above, without adding context, or I'll also be handwaved about my communication issues.

I should NOT feel this way about a forum that prides itself is making users feel safe. And I'm sure more users feel this way.

So really, we need to talk about this. How can we change this? How can this be addressed? How can the Admin/Mods make this safer? Because as it stands, I just simply do not feel safe on this forum in a majority of topics. I try and I keep posting, but I always feel I'm this close to somehow making a mistake and it just following me wherever I post.

This needs to be addressed.

(Image removed from quote.)

Fuck offf

[Momo]

TELL THE CREW TO PUSH THE (veggie) WHOPPER BUTTON!

[benjipwns]

https://www.resetera.com/threads/we-need-to-have-a-discussion-about-how-members-treat-other-members-on-this-site-and-among-other-issues.154572/

So I'd been mulling about bringing up this subject because I am absolutely not the person to really be able to express myself easily, but I think we really need to have a center focused discussion about this.

We most recently just had an issue that occurred in the Trans Awareness Week and the LGBT Issues Moderation threads, which covered aspects of the issue that I'm going to be discussing in this thread, because I feel it's incredibly important. And I absolutely think there are more significant problems on this board that need to be addressed further that both relate to those issues, as well as outside of them as well.

Before I start, I need to explain something:

I am an individual who has a number of disabilities that relate to a combination of mental health, as well as mental developmental problems. Some of these include:

- Inability to quickly process thoughts and understanding said information and communication given to me.
- Inability to properly articulate what I want to say both in a text and vocal conversation. The latter is significantly worse than the former, but I absolutely do struggle to be able to communicate easily. As a result, I cannot easily and properly explain things as a result, especially in instances of heavy and emotional distress.
- I do not understand and cannot properly process spacial relation issues, which creates problems when I'm given directions on how to get to a place or what I do (I often end up going left instead of right, for instance). It also affected my ability to properly delve into aspect of Geometry, which I at the time, didn't understand why these particular things were giving me issues.
- Emotionally, I'm underdeveloped from the rest of my peers and as a result, it does make things more difficult for me to handle.
- I have anxiety, panic attack disorders, constant heart palpitations, and I both shut down and break down easily under stress. Because of this, I am disabled, on disability, and attempts to try to put me in the work force have not been successful. I am 30 years old, have practically no college experience, and never worked properly either.
- For many of my issues, I am attending and seeing multiple people at a local mental health clinic, but it's a life long issue for me and I do not see myself improving. It's more just trying to cope with what I do have at this point and trying to deal with it the best I can.

And there's more issues I can get into.

As to why this relates to what I'm about to discuss, awhile back after I had a bad experience on Grindr, I opened a thread to vent. The result? Immediately an automatic assumptions, misunderstanding what I was saying, and it got to the point that I do not believe that the topic warranted further discussion. The topic can be read here.

What happened is I did not properly explain what happened, I was under distress, and I was not able to communicate properly. What ultimately happened was during the beginning of the conversation, I apologized to the user I had not updated my profile image in a bit, I sent him what I had at the start of the conversation, we communicated and made sure everything was okay from the get go, and somehow the user not long after that made some of those comments. Ultimately, it's no big deal in the end and I just learn from it and move on.

The topic was another matter. I was called out for "Cat fishing", and it resulted in a user bumping the thread in another topic which suggested it heavily implied to be me given the wording. To add onto this, there were comments intentionally fat shaming me, and among other issues in the said thread.

Another thread that I had opened up, regarding a trending topic on Twitter and I asked users how their High School experience was, a individual posted the following text:

From the sounds of it maybe a school that could better deal w/ your behavioral issues might have done the trick, doesn’t seem like that school was working out for you.

I literally responded to the user to clarify, but they ignored my post and I can only imagine from that they were automatically assuming the worst about me and making said comment.

In another thread, after I brought up my experience on Tinder as a whole (which was a mixture, positive and negative, I think we all had that), individuals proceeded to try and "Call me out", including saying the reason they stopped talking to me was because I got caught "cat fishing", and then when I tried to explain my situation how I struggle to communicate, individual proceeded to say that I should google communication guides and stuff like that and practice and it didn't seem to matter at that point what I had to say.

For reference: Once I became aware of my communication issues, I had to learn how to communicate (took me over a year and I was still practicing since about 2003 or so), but I feel that as if I've hit a brick wall on this and I think I'm at my limit. Even my doctor told me not to over think it as this point and it's okay if I can't easily say what I have to.

These are issues that I personally experience and I feel are minor probably compared to some users, but I feel this is still worth mentioning. This is not okay and it makes me, a person with a number of issues as is, uncomfortable here.

However, we have had issues with some other topics, which I had minimal participation in, such as some of the Gym topics, in how they can be incredibly toxic in nature, and honestly: overly condescending.

Most recent topic comes to mind is this one, both in the OPs title, text, and the poll options. I often people see them post this in threads and it really bugs me as a user that I at first thought was a joke, but this topic seems to serve otherwise, including the responses feel kinda unwelcoming. There was also a topic I participated that also felt incredibly toxic and judgmental, and as a person who struggles to deal with self-esteem issues on top of what I detailed, this only made me feel worse seeing comments like this. Users did call some of this out, but doesn't feel it made an impact.

Now, this isn't intended to be a call out to individual users (and I realize it's hard not to discuss this without bringing up specific topics or posts, so I apologize for this), because I don't think it's specifically one or two people, but the fact many users are not being held accountable by some of the behavior replicated.

I do believe my personal issues, arguably are probably minor, but as someone who has to deal with miscommunications on a day-to-day basis, difficulty explaining myself, and then I feel people automatically assuming the worst, only makes these topics more difficult to post in these.

I've heard from users how uncomfortable they feel posting in Dating, Gym/Fitness threads, and among other ones, as well as some of the comments I've seen with people dealing with mental health issues and disabilities, is frustrating.

Not to mention, we've had threads asking for simple accessibility options, threads about possible issues with strobing/flashing that could cause seizures, many of these are ignored and buried quickly, or the topics become incredibly toxic that there is no conversation to be had.

We really need to talk about all these issues. I'm trying my best on this forum, and I realize a lot of times, I mess up, I try to explain myself better, and now I feel as if I ever want to post in a dating or relationship related thread, users will be quick to point out the thread above, without adding context, or I'll also be handwaved about my communication issues.

I should NOT feel this way about a forum that prides itself is making users feel safe. And I'm sure more users feel this way.

So really, we need to talk about this. How can we change this? How can this be addressed? How can the Admin/Mods make this safer? Because as it stands, I just simply do not feel safe on this forum in a majority of topics. I try and I keep posting, but I always feel I'm this close to somehow making a mistake and it just following me wherever I post.

This needs to be addressed.

(Image removed from quote.)

Fuck offf

To address this in particular, please do continue to report problematic posts. Admittedly, they do sometimes take longer than intended to come to a conclusion. We are volunteers and do this in our free time; I say this not as an excuse, but as an explanation. The reports we receive are evaluated by multiple staff members and are treated with the utmost sensitivity and care. In order to make sure the right call is made, we rely heavily on relevant perspectives within the team, and this can sometimes mean reports take longer to handle.

We acknowledge that sometimes we do not "get it right", but we will always try to do our best for our members and act with the best of intentions.

[Pwnz]

Did he died?

No, poliera is the more sane Democrats and brainchild is a Bernie bro. Poliera called him out on his shit and he requested a ban and became a bernie bro martyr

[benjipwns]

poliera is the more sane Democrats

[benjipwns]

Post this on your real account coward

Gaslighting now are we? Great I'll just report this account and move on.

[benjipwns]

What is also disturbing is that Biden still has the highest black support...despite all these clear signs that he is not a progressive at all.

The black community was tricked by him being Obama's VP

I hope that bitch doesn't become front runner.