DOJ |OT| SUMMIT NOW SUMMIT NOW

[bork]

https://www.resetera.com/threads/im-a-conservative-is-that-allowed-here.1896/

Vintage Era

"Banned for using a prohibited e-mail provider."

[Cauliflower Of Love]

Banned for using a prohibited e-mail provider.

[Hermit]

Banned for using a prohibited e-mail provider

 

[Bore Expert]

read on, it gets better 

[benjipwns]

You can't ask questions. Ever. It's all in bad faith! Always! Straight people are out to attack us, the holy alphabet folx.

One problem that does need to be addressed that isn't strictly administration's fault is that, as per Ketkat's post, mods are quite influenced by the fact that there's communities dedicated to harassing Era and trying to tear us down. Honestly, this affects us all-- given what I've seen over the past few days, I'm skeptical that Era's trans members didn't have the same kind of spotlight pointed on them the whole time. And if they didn't before, thanks to this debacle, they certainly do now. Given my observations about certain posters in the past, mods being lax about transphobic posters has knock-on effects for all of ERA, because the CHUDs in question have all the impulse control of toddlers. People are wise enough to brand new accounts with all of four posts chiming in on sensitive topics, so even those individuals have an impetus to participate in the community, if only to build up enough cover to cause trouble. And wouldn't you know it, it just so happens that threads about trans people happen to always be full of people showing their asses 24/7. I'm going to suggest there's a correlation there. I'm going to suggest the alt-right dickheads that like to go after ERA like going after marginalized and vulnerable people most of all, and that protecting our most marginalized and vulnerable voices readily translates to making all of us safer. That includes the mods. That's more true now, after this, than it ever has been.

[benjipwns]

Yeah he’s still banned.

benji just keeps random screenshots of his posts around because he’s a pathetic loser.

Hobbes is not a pathetic loser you piece of shit.

[TVC15]

I thought Hobbes was briefly annihilated for at least a week

He's still banned for 5 days.

Yeah he’s still banned.

benji just keeps random screenshots of his posts around because he’s a pathetic loser.

He’s the kind of guy that would brag about giving Spiro Agnew a blowjob.

[Cauliflower Of Love]

Only being romantically attracted to women would be a form of lesbianism.

[benjipwns]

Sometimes I forget you are also an unfunny chode.

lol you're banned from NeoGAF.com

[benjipwns]

Plus, it's not at all random, it's completely on topic (why thanksgiving is awful) and absolutely relevant to the sole reason why we shouldn't cancel the genocide celebration (it's an opportunity to call out bigots in the family) which would be an incident that needs managing and who better to turn to than the man who managed the incident that was the war that thanksgiving is based on?

Quite frankly, I'm starting to wonder if I shouldn't join Hobbes in placing you on an ignore list.

[BIONIC]

I see you BIONIC

 

Weaponized likes 

[benjipwns]

https://www.resetera.com/threads/we-need-to-have-a-discussion-about-how-members-treat-other-members-on-this-site-and-among-other-issues.154572/

So I'd been mulling about bringing up this subject because I am absolutely not the person to really be able to express myself easily, but I think we really need to have a center focused discussion about this.

We most recently just had an issue that occurred in the Trans Awareness Week and the LGBT Issues Moderation threads, which covered aspects of the issue that I'm going to be discussing in this thread, because I feel it's incredibly important. And I absolutely think there are more significant problems on this board that need to be addressed further that both relate to those issues, as well as outside of them as well.

Before I start, I need to explain something:

I am an individual who has a number of disabilities that relate to a combination of mental health, as well as mental developmental problems. Some of these include:

- Inability to quickly process thoughts and understanding said information and communication given to me.
- Inability to properly articulate what I want to say both in a text and vocal conversation. The latter is significantly worse than the former, but I absolutely do struggle to be able to communicate easily. As a result, I cannot easily and properly explain things as a result, especially in instances of heavy and emotional distress.
- I do not understand and cannot properly process spacial relation issues, which creates problems when I'm given directions on how to get to a place or what I do (I often end up going left instead of right, for instance). It also affected my ability to properly delve into aspect of Geometry, which I at the time, didn't understand why these particular things were giving me issues.
- Emotionally, I'm underdeveloped from the rest of my peers and as a result, it does make things more difficult for me to handle.
- I have anxiety, panic attack disorders, constant heart palpitations, and I both shut down and break down easily under stress. Because of this, I am disabled, on disability, and attempts to try to put me in the work force have not been successful. I am 30 years old, have practically no college experience, and never worked properly either.
- For many of my issues, I am attending and seeing multiple people at a local mental health clinic, but it's a life long issue for me and I do not see myself improving. It's more just trying to cope with what I do have at this point and trying to deal with it the best I can.

And there's more issues I can get into.

As to why this relates to what I'm about to discuss, awhile back after I had a bad experience on Grindr, I opened a thread to vent. The result? Immediately an automatic assumptions, misunderstanding what I was saying, and it got to the point that I do not believe that the topic warranted further discussion. The topic can be read here.

What happened is I did not properly explain what happened, I was under distress, and I was not able to communicate properly. What ultimately happened was during the beginning of the conversation, I apologized to the user I had not updated my profile image in a bit, I sent him what I had at the start of the conversation, we communicated and made sure everything was okay from the get go, and somehow the user not long after that made some of those comments. Ultimately, it's no big deal in the end and I just learn from it and move on.

The topic was another matter. I was called out for "Cat fishing", and it resulted in a user bumping the thread in another topic which suggested it heavily implied to be me given the wording. To add onto this, there were comments intentionally fat shaming me, and among other issues in the said thread.

Another thread that I had opened up, regarding a trending topic on Twitter and I asked users how their High School experience was, a individual posted the following text:

From the sounds of it maybe a school that could better deal w/ your behavioral issues might have done the trick, doesn’t seem like that school was working out for you.

I literally responded to the user to clarify, but they ignored my post and I can only imagine from that they were automatically assuming the worst about me and making said comment.

In another thread, after I brought up my experience on Tinder as a whole (which was a mixture, positive and negative, I think we all had that), individuals proceeded to try and "Call me out", including saying the reason they stopped talking to me was because I got caught "cat fishing", and then when I tried to explain my situation how I struggle to communicate, individual proceeded to say that I should google communication guides and stuff like that and practice and it didn't seem to matter at that point what I had to say.

For reference: Once I became aware of my communication issues, I had to learn how to communicate (took me over a year and I was still practicing since about 2003 or so), but I feel that as if I've hit a brick wall on this and I think I'm at my limit. Even my doctor told me not to over think it as this point and it's okay if I can't easily say what I have to.

These are issues that I personally experience and I feel are minor probably compared to some users, but I feel this is still worth mentioning. This is not okay and it makes me, a person with a number of issues as is, uncomfortable here.

However, we have had issues with some other topics, which I had minimal participation in, such as some of the Gym topics, in how they can be incredibly toxic in nature, and honestly: overly condescending.

Most recent topic comes to mind is this one, both in the OPs title, text, and the poll options. I often people see them post this in threads and it really bugs me as a user that I at first thought was a joke, but this topic seems to serve otherwise, including the responses feel kinda unwelcoming. There was also a topic I participated that also felt incredibly toxic and judgmental, and as a person who struggles to deal with self-esteem issues on top of what I detailed, this only made me feel worse seeing comments like this. Users did call some of this out, but doesn't feel it made an impact.

Now, this isn't intended to be a call out to individual users (and I realize it's hard not to discuss this without bringing up specific topics or posts, so I apologize for this), because I don't think it's specifically one or two people, but the fact many users are not being held accountable by some of the behavior replicated.

I do believe my personal issues, arguably are probably minor, but as someone who has to deal with miscommunications on a day-to-day basis, difficulty explaining myself, and then I feel people automatically assuming the worst, only makes these topics more difficult to post in these.

I've heard from users how uncomfortable they feel posting in Dating, Gym/Fitness threads, and among other ones, as well as some of the comments I've seen with people dealing with mental health issues and disabilities, is frustrating.

Not to mention, we've had threads asking for simple accessibility options, threads about possible issues with strobing/flashing that could cause seizures, many of these are ignored and buried quickly, or the topics become incredibly toxic that there is no conversation to be had.

We really need to talk about all these issues. I'm trying my best on this forum, and I realize a lot of times, I mess up, I try to explain myself better, and now I feel as if I ever want to post in a dating or relationship related thread, users will be quick to point out the thread above, without adding context, or I'll also be handwaved about my communication issues.

I should NOT feel this way about a forum that prides itself is making users feel safe. And I'm sure more users feel this way.

So really, we need to talk about this. How can we change this? How can this be addressed? How can the Admin/Mods make this safer? Because as it stands, I just simply do not feel safe on this forum in a majority of topics. I try and I keep posting, but I always feel I'm this close to somehow making a mistake and it just following me wherever I post.

This needs to be addressed.

[TVC15]

Meh

[benjipwns]

The problem is I have on a couple occasions attempt to report some users and it took the cat calling bump thread I mentioned above, for a user to get banned. I don't feel the report system is reliable and I feel bad saying this, but it's absolutely true. I don't think the systems in place are enough to keep me and other users safe.

[benjipwns]

rip brainchild

Really gonna miss him. Very thought-provoking and informative person.

[benjipwns]

https://www.resetera.com/threads/how-does-a-senate-trial-work.154559/

Like the one we're having only with 200% more Bullshit and 500% more unwinnable

Is it televised?

if trump gets kicked out of office does pence too?

I think United States needs a Constitutional amendment to clearly define how to impeach a President, and to make the process very clear and fair for all parties. Also, the impeachment process should always be a criminal process, not a political one.

I hope, if I ever get in any trouble with the law, I too get to have a meeting with my jury to decide whether I want to have a trial or just dismiss the whole thing straight away.

It is very clear. The issue is it doesn't happen often. This is like the 4th time: Jackson, Nixon, Clinton, Trump.

[benjipwns]

First off, I wanted to say that I am sorry for the experiences you've been through, both on the site and in real life, that have caused you such pain. Also, I wanted to thank you for making this thread; it is incredibly well thought out and you make many good points.

Now, to address your concerns. Over the past couple of days, the entire staff have discussed at length the best ways to make the site feel more inclusive and welcoming to everyone, no matter your mental or physical health, your sexuality, your gender identity, upbringing, race, whatever. A lot of these problems cannot be solved overnight and will take time to completely rectify. However, the things that we are looking at doing in the immediate future are going to allow the site to foster of community of warmth.

One of the biggest things we are looking into implementing is a community relations program with a designated liaison. We hope to bridge the invisible gap between site staff and the general user base and be more active in the issues our members are facing. We want people to feel comfortable coming to us with concerns or questions they may have.

We are actively looking into a more diverse staff, both in terms or race, gender identity, sexual orientation, religious preference, etc. so that all members feel represented and acknowledged.

I know that this does not provide solutions to everything that you brought up, but we are working on many, many more things that we hope will change the culture of the site going forward. The general unease that many members face about posting in threads is something that we are aware of, and we are actively working on a plan that will address this and change the way people interact with each other here.

If you have any other questions that you would like to talk about in private (if that is more comfortable for you), my PM box is open.

[BIONIC]

https://www.resetera.com/threads/we-need-to-have-a-discussion-about-how-members-treat-other-members-on-this-site-and-among-other-issues.154572/

So I'd been mulling about bringing up this subject because I am absolutely not the person to really be able to express myself easily, but I think we really need to have a center focused discussion about this.

We most recently just had an issue that occurred in the Trans Awareness Week and the LGBT Issues Moderation threads, which covered aspects of the issue that I'm going to be discussing in this thread, because I feel it's incredibly important. And I absolutely think there are more significant problems on this board that need to be addressed further that both relate to those issues, as well as outside of them as well.

Before I start, I need to explain something:

I am an individual who has a number of disabilities that relate to a combination of mental health, as well as mental developmental problems. Some of these include:

- Inability to quickly process thoughts and understanding said information and communication given to me.
- Inability to properly articulate what I want to say both in a text and vocal conversation. The latter is significantly worse than the former, but I absolutely do struggle to be able to communicate easily. As a result, I cannot easily and properly explain things as a result, especially in instances of heavy and emotional distress.
- I do not understand and cannot properly process spacial relation issues, which creates problems when I'm given directions on how to get to a place or what I do (I often end up going left instead of right, for instance). It also affected my ability to properly delve into aspect of Geometry, which I at the time, didn't understand why these particular things were giving me issues.
- Emotionally, I'm underdeveloped from the rest of my peers and as a result, it does make things more difficult for me to handle.
- I have anxiety, panic attack disorders, constant heart palpitations, and I both shut down and break down easily under stress. Because of this, I am disabled, on disability, and attempts to try to put me in the work force have not been successful. I am 30 years old, have practically no college experience, and never worked properly either.
- For many of my issues, I am attending and seeing multiple people at a local mental health clinic, but it's a life long issue for me and I do not see myself improving. It's more just trying to cope with what I do have at this point and trying to deal with it the best I can.

And there's more issues I can get into.

As to why this relates to what I'm about to discuss, awhile back after I had a bad experience on Grindr, I opened a thread to vent. The result? Immediately an automatic assumptions, misunderstanding what I was saying, and it got to the point that I do not believe that the topic warranted further discussion. The topic can be read here.

What happened is I did not properly explain what happened, I was under distress, and I was not able to communicate properly. What ultimately happened was during the beginning of the conversation, I apologized to the user I had not updated my profile image in a bit, I sent him what I had at the start of the conversation, we communicated and made sure everything was okay from the get go, and somehow the user not long after that made some of those comments. Ultimately, it's no big deal in the end and I just learn from it and move on.

The topic was another matter. I was called out for "Cat fishing", and it resulted in a user bumping the thread in another topic which suggested it heavily implied to be me given the wording. To add onto this, there were comments intentionally fat shaming me, and among other issues in the said thread.

Another thread that I had opened up, regarding a trending topic on Twitter and I asked users how their High School experience was, a individual posted the following text:

From the sounds of it maybe a school that could better deal w/ your behavioral issues might have done the trick, doesn’t seem like that school was working out for you.

I literally responded to the user to clarify, but they ignored my post and I can only imagine from that they were automatically assuming the worst about me and making said comment.

In another thread, after I brought up my experience on Tinder as a whole (which was a mixture, positive and negative, I think we all had that), individuals proceeded to try and "Call me out", including saying the reason they stopped talking to me was because I got caught "cat fishing", and then when I tried to explain my situation how I struggle to communicate, individual proceeded to say that I should google communication guides and stuff like that and practice and it didn't seem to matter at that point what I had to say.

For reference: Once I became aware of my communication issues, I had to learn how to communicate (took me over a year and I was still practicing since about 2003 or so), but I feel that as if I've hit a brick wall on this and I think I'm at my limit. Even my doctor told me not to over think it as this point and it's okay if I can't easily say what I have to.

These are issues that I personally experience and I feel are minor probably compared to some users, but I feel this is still worth mentioning. This is not okay and it makes me, a person with a number of issues as is, uncomfortable here.

However, we have had issues with some other topics, which I had minimal participation in, such as some of the Gym topics, in how they can be incredibly toxic in nature, and honestly: overly condescending.

Most recent topic comes to mind is this one, both in the OPs title, text, and the poll options. I often people see them post this in threads and it really bugs me as a user that I at first thought was a joke, but this topic seems to serve otherwise, including the responses feel kinda unwelcoming. There was also a topic I participated that also felt incredibly toxic and judgmental, and as a person who struggles to deal with self-esteem issues on top of what I detailed, this only made me feel worse seeing comments like this. Users did call some of this out, but doesn't feel it made an impact.

Now, this isn't intended to be a call out to individual users (and I realize it's hard not to discuss this without bringing up specific topics or posts, so I apologize for this), because I don't think it's specifically one or two people, but the fact many users are not being held accountable by some of the behavior replicated.

I do believe my personal issues, arguably are probably minor, but as someone who has to deal with miscommunications on a day-to-day basis, difficulty explaining myself, and then I feel people automatically assuming the worst, only makes these topics more difficult to post in these.

I've heard from users how uncomfortable they feel posting in Dating, Gym/Fitness threads, and among other ones, as well as some of the comments I've seen with people dealing with mental health issues and disabilities, is frustrating.

Not to mention, we've had threads asking for simple accessibility options, threads about possible issues with strobing/flashing that could cause seizures, many of these are ignored and buried quickly, or the topics become incredibly toxic that there is no conversation to be had.

We really need to talk about all these issues. I'm trying my best on this forum, and I realize a lot of times, I mess up, I try to explain myself better, and now I feel as if I ever want to post in a dating or relationship related thread, users will be quick to point out the thread above, without adding context, or I'll also be handwaved about my communication issues.

I should NOT feel this way about a forum that prides itself is making users feel safe. And I'm sure more users feel this way.

So really, we need to talk about this. How can we change this? How can this be addressed? How can the Admin/Mods make this safer? Because as it stands, I just simply do not feel safe on this forum in a majority of topics. I try and I keep posting, but I always feel I'm this close to somehow making a mistake and it just following me wherever I post.

This needs to be addressed.

(Image removed from quote.)

Fuck offf

[Momo]

TELL THE CREW TO PUSH THE (veggie) WHOPPER BUTTON!

[benjipwns]

https://www.resetera.com/threads/we-need-to-have-a-discussion-about-how-members-treat-other-members-on-this-site-and-among-other-issues.154572/

So I'd been mulling about bringing up this subject because I am absolutely not the person to really be able to express myself easily, but I think we really need to have a center focused discussion about this.

We most recently just had an issue that occurred in the Trans Awareness Week and the LGBT Issues Moderation threads, which covered aspects of the issue that I'm going to be discussing in this thread, because I feel it's incredibly important. And I absolutely think there are more significant problems on this board that need to be addressed further that both relate to those issues, as well as outside of them as well.

Before I start, I need to explain something:

I am an individual who has a number of disabilities that relate to a combination of mental health, as well as mental developmental problems. Some of these include:

- Inability to quickly process thoughts and understanding said information and communication given to me.
- Inability to properly articulate what I want to say both in a text and vocal conversation. The latter is significantly worse than the former, but I absolutely do struggle to be able to communicate easily. As a result, I cannot easily and properly explain things as a result, especially in instances of heavy and emotional distress.
- I do not understand and cannot properly process spacial relation issues, which creates problems when I'm given directions on how to get to a place or what I do (I often end up going left instead of right, for instance). It also affected my ability to properly delve into aspect of Geometry, which I at the time, didn't understand why these particular things were giving me issues.
- Emotionally, I'm underdeveloped from the rest of my peers and as a result, it does make things more difficult for me to handle.
- I have anxiety, panic attack disorders, constant heart palpitations, and I both shut down and break down easily under stress. Because of this, I am disabled, on disability, and attempts to try to put me in the work force have not been successful. I am 30 years old, have practically no college experience, and never worked properly either.
- For many of my issues, I am attending and seeing multiple people at a local mental health clinic, but it's a life long issue for me and I do not see myself improving. It's more just trying to cope with what I do have at this point and trying to deal with it the best I can.

And there's more issues I can get into.

As to why this relates to what I'm about to discuss, awhile back after I had a bad experience on Grindr, I opened a thread to vent. The result? Immediately an automatic assumptions, misunderstanding what I was saying, and it got to the point that I do not believe that the topic warranted further discussion. The topic can be read here.

What happened is I did not properly explain what happened, I was under distress, and I was not able to communicate properly. What ultimately happened was during the beginning of the conversation, I apologized to the user I had not updated my profile image in a bit, I sent him what I had at the start of the conversation, we communicated and made sure everything was okay from the get go, and somehow the user not long after that made some of those comments. Ultimately, it's no big deal in the end and I just learn from it and move on.

The topic was another matter. I was called out for "Cat fishing", and it resulted in a user bumping the thread in another topic which suggested it heavily implied to be me given the wording. To add onto this, there were comments intentionally fat shaming me, and among other issues in the said thread.

Another thread that I had opened up, regarding a trending topic on Twitter and I asked users how their High School experience was, a individual posted the following text:

From the sounds of it maybe a school that could better deal w/ your behavioral issues might have done the trick, doesn’t seem like that school was working out for you.

I literally responded to the user to clarify, but they ignored my post and I can only imagine from that they were automatically assuming the worst about me and making said comment.

In another thread, after I brought up my experience on Tinder as a whole (which was a mixture, positive and negative, I think we all had that), individuals proceeded to try and "Call me out", including saying the reason they stopped talking to me was because I got caught "cat fishing", and then when I tried to explain my situation how I struggle to communicate, individual proceeded to say that I should google communication guides and stuff like that and practice and it didn't seem to matter at that point what I had to say.

For reference: Once I became aware of my communication issues, I had to learn how to communicate (took me over a year and I was still practicing since about 2003 or so), but I feel that as if I've hit a brick wall on this and I think I'm at my limit. Even my doctor told me not to over think it as this point and it's okay if I can't easily say what I have to.

These are issues that I personally experience and I feel are minor probably compared to some users, but I feel this is still worth mentioning. This is not okay and it makes me, a person with a number of issues as is, uncomfortable here.

However, we have had issues with some other topics, which I had minimal participation in, such as some of the Gym topics, in how they can be incredibly toxic in nature, and honestly: overly condescending.

Most recent topic comes to mind is this one, both in the OPs title, text, and the poll options. I often people see them post this in threads and it really bugs me as a user that I at first thought was a joke, but this topic seems to serve otherwise, including the responses feel kinda unwelcoming. There was also a topic I participated that also felt incredibly toxic and judgmental, and as a person who struggles to deal with self-esteem issues on top of what I detailed, this only made me feel worse seeing comments like this. Users did call some of this out, but doesn't feel it made an impact.

Now, this isn't intended to be a call out to individual users (and I realize it's hard not to discuss this without bringing up specific topics or posts, so I apologize for this), because I don't think it's specifically one or two people, but the fact many users are not being held accountable by some of the behavior replicated.

I do believe my personal issues, arguably are probably minor, but as someone who has to deal with miscommunications on a day-to-day basis, difficulty explaining myself, and then I feel people automatically assuming the worst, only makes these topics more difficult to post in these.

I've heard from users how uncomfortable they feel posting in Dating, Gym/Fitness threads, and among other ones, as well as some of the comments I've seen with people dealing with mental health issues and disabilities, is frustrating.

Not to mention, we've had threads asking for simple accessibility options, threads about possible issues with strobing/flashing that could cause seizures, many of these are ignored and buried quickly, or the topics become incredibly toxic that there is no conversation to be had.

We really need to talk about all these issues. I'm trying my best on this forum, and I realize a lot of times, I mess up, I try to explain myself better, and now I feel as if I ever want to post in a dating or relationship related thread, users will be quick to point out the thread above, without adding context, or I'll also be handwaved about my communication issues.

I should NOT feel this way about a forum that prides itself is making users feel safe. And I'm sure more users feel this way.

So really, we need to talk about this. How can we change this? How can this be addressed? How can the Admin/Mods make this safer? Because as it stands, I just simply do not feel safe on this forum in a majority of topics. I try and I keep posting, but I always feel I'm this close to somehow making a mistake and it just following me wherever I post.

This needs to be addressed.

(Image removed from quote.)

Fuck offf

To address this in particular, please do continue to report problematic posts. Admittedly, they do sometimes take longer than intended to come to a conclusion. We are volunteers and do this in our free time; I say this not as an excuse, but as an explanation. The reports we receive are evaluated by multiple staff members and are treated with the utmost sensitivity and care. In order to make sure the right call is made, we rely heavily on relevant perspectives within the team, and this can sometimes mean reports take longer to handle.

We acknowledge that sometimes we do not "get it right", but we will always try to do our best for our members and act with the best of intentions.

[Pwnz]

Did he died?

No, poliera is the more sane Democrats and brainchild is a Bernie bro. Poliera called him out on his shit and he requested a ban and became a bernie bro martyr

[benjipwns]

poliera is the more sane Democrats

[benjipwns]

Post this on your real account coward

Gaslighting now are we? Great I'll just report this account and move on.

[benjipwns]

What is also disturbing is that Biden still has the highest black support...despite all these clear signs that he is not a progressive at all.

The black community was tricked by him being Obama's VP

I hope that bitch doesn't become front runner.

[Pwnz]

poliera is the more sane Democrats

It is relative. Specifically they mock the bernie sanders media bias conspiracy.

[benjipwns]

The one thing I've noticed, and dislike, is posters go from zero to 'scorched earth' angry/aggressive. There's no in between for many.

FUUUUCKKK OOOOFOFFFFFFf

[benjipwns]

By the way, Brock Reiher's ban has finally been set to a duration of one week.
...For a post he made seven days ago, so does that mean he's gonna get unbanned in like a few hours, or the twenty-eighth?

Should be in a few hours. I don't know the exact time however as the ban system is a bit finicky in regards to time zones.

Meanwhile:

User banned (duration pending): History of hostility towards members and staff, posting private messages with other users as a personal attack

Called it!

[benjipwns]

You ok sweetie?

If you need someone to talk to I’m here for u.

Not falling for this again.

[Hermit]

I need someone to talk to

 

[benjipwns]

Let’s be honest, a lot of people here need professional help as evident by all the suicide talk and lack of passion around life.

This is why we cannot allow Ketkat to ever be banned again.

[Cerveza mas fina]

I doubt many foods are halal in trumps America.

Also the fuck? You’re getting a vegan burger and expecting all other meats to cater to your religious beliefs?

HUUUUUUUH?

Vegan people are starting to get weird.

I have this co-worker who flipped out at me the other day. She only wants vegan food. I can understand that.
But nearly all vegan food is based on Soy beans but now she doesn't want food based on soy beans anymore.

So I asked her the question you shouldn't ask a vegan. "What were you eating before? Because honestly none of the things you are eating now existed 5 let alone 10 years ago."
I think the vegan only diets have started to effect their brains as much as the climate doomsday cult has.

Why r u being so dumb again.

Ofc she doesnt want want soy beans cause they are often the source of deforestation.

Yes people can want things that didnt exist before like medicine and electricity and now ethical food.

Youre always so obtuse jesus.

It's more the fact that she acts like she's going to starve to death if the <insert_veggie_trend_of_the_week> is not available to her.
I'm more wondering how she survived up to this year when Sencha soup wasn't around in 2017.

And deforestation is not the issue. She doesn't eat products with soy beans in them because they are bad for her skin? 
She was also thinking of removing 'salt' from her diet for some reason I forgot. And then she complaints she doesn't know what to eat anymore.

Ask her if she posts on Reee

[benjipwns]

i think this is the same guy as in that other Nintendo video

[Cerveza mas fina]

Colonialism is a white supremacist myth. I'm seriously supposed to believe that only white people are capable enough of building ships, crossing the ocean and establishing new powerful nation-states? Total alt-right dog whistle imo.

Wow are u suggesting black people werent involved in splitting the atom and flying into space?

Documentaries like Black Panther show this to be false (renonwed Marvel production, not some Scorcese dross)

[Cauliflower Of Love]

so era mods are on the side of the argument that private messages have some secret "for your eyes only" inherently built in to them?

[benjipwns]

so era mods are on the side of the argument that private messages have some secret "for your eyes only" inherently built in to them?

Yes, private messages are only for the sender, the receiver, and the relevant staff members of the forum.

[Potato]

https://www.resetera.com/threads/we-need-to-have-a-discussion-about-how-members-treat-other-members-on-this-site-and-among-other-issues.154572/

So I'd been mulling about bringing up this subject because I am absolutely not the person to really be able to express myself easily, but I think we really need to have a center focused discussion about this.

We most recently just had an issue that occurred in the Trans Awareness Week and the LGBT Issues Moderation threads, which covered aspects of the issue that I'm going to be discussing in this thread, because I feel it's incredibly important. And I absolutely think there are more significant problems on this board that need to be addressed further that both relate to those issues, as well as outside of them as well.

Before I start, I need to explain something:

I am an individual who has a number of disabilities that relate to a combination of mental health, as well as mental developmental problems. Some of these include:

- Inability to quickly process thoughts and understanding said information and communication given to me.
- Inability to properly articulate what I want to say both in a text and vocal conversation. The latter is significantly worse than the former, but I absolutely do struggle to be able to communicate easily. As a result, I cannot easily and properly explain things as a result, especially in instances of heavy and emotional distress.
- I do not understand and cannot properly process spacial relation issues, which creates problems when I'm given directions on how to get to a place or what I do (I often end up going left instead of right, for instance). It also affected my ability to properly delve into aspect of Geometry, which I at the time, didn't understand why these particular things were giving me issues.
- Emotionally, I'm underdeveloped from the rest of my peers and as a result, it does make things more difficult for me to handle.
- I have anxiety, panic attack disorders, constant heart palpitations, and I both shut down and break down easily under stress. Because of this, I am disabled, on disability, and attempts to try to put me in the work force have not been successful. I am 30 years old, have practically no college experience, and never worked properly either.
- For many of my issues, I am attending and seeing multiple people at a local mental health clinic, but it's a life long issue for me and I do not see myself improving. It's more just trying to cope with what I do have at this point and trying to deal with it the best I can.

And there's more issues I can get into.

As to why this relates to what I'm about to discuss, awhile back after I had a bad experience on Grindr, I opened a thread to vent. The result? Immediately an automatic assumptions, misunderstanding what I was saying, and it got to the point that I do not believe that the topic warranted further discussion. The topic can be read here.

What happened is I did not properly explain what happened, I was under distress, and I was not able to communicate properly. What ultimately happened was during the beginning of the conversation, I apologized to the user I had not updated my profile image in a bit, I sent him what I had at the start of the conversation, we communicated and made sure everything was okay from the get go, and somehow the user not long after that made some of those comments. Ultimately, it's no big deal in the end and I just learn from it and move on.

The topic was another matter. I was called out for "Cat fishing", and it resulted in a user bumping the thread in another topic which suggested it heavily implied to be me given the wording. To add onto this, there were comments intentionally fat shaming me, and among other issues in the said thread.

Another thread that I had opened up, regarding a trending topic on Twitter and I asked users how their High School experience was, a individual posted the following text:

From the sounds of it maybe a school that could better deal w/ your behavioral issues might have done the trick, doesn’t seem like that school was working out for you.

I literally responded to the user to clarify, but they ignored my post and I can only imagine from that they were automatically assuming the worst about me and making said comment.

In another thread, after I brought up my experience on Tinder as a whole (which was a mixture, positive and negative, I think we all had that), individuals proceeded to try and "Call me out", including saying the reason they stopped talking to me was because I got caught "cat fishing", and then when I tried to explain my situation how I struggle to communicate, individual proceeded to say that I should google communication guides and stuff like that and practice and it didn't seem to matter at that point what I had to say.

For reference: Once I became aware of my communication issues, I had to learn how to communicate (took me over a year and I was still practicing since about 2003 or so), but I feel that as if I've hit a brick wall on this and I think I'm at my limit. Even my doctor told me not to over think it as this point and it's okay if I can't easily say what I have to.

These are issues that I personally experience and I feel are minor probably compared to some users, but I feel this is still worth mentioning. This is not okay and it makes me, a person with a number of issues as is, uncomfortable here.

However, we have had issues with some other topics, which I had minimal participation in, such as some of the Gym topics, in how they can be incredibly toxic in nature, and honestly: overly condescending.

Most recent topic comes to mind is this one, both in the OPs title, text, and the poll options. I often people see them post this in threads and it really bugs me as a user that I at first thought was a joke, but this topic seems to serve otherwise, including the responses feel kinda unwelcoming. There was also a topic I participated that also felt incredibly toxic and judgmental, and as a person who struggles to deal with self-esteem issues on top of what I detailed, this only made me feel worse seeing comments like this. Users did call some of this out, but doesn't feel it made an impact.

Now, this isn't intended to be a call out to individual users (and I realize it's hard not to discuss this without bringing up specific topics or posts, so I apologize for this), because I don't think it's specifically one or two people, but the fact many users are not being held accountable by some of the behavior replicated.

I do believe my personal issues, arguably are probably minor, but as someone who has to deal with miscommunications on a day-to-day basis, difficulty explaining myself, and then I feel people automatically assuming the worst, only makes these topics more difficult to post in these.

I've heard from users how uncomfortable they feel posting in Dating, Gym/Fitness threads, and among other ones, as well as some of the comments I've seen with people dealing with mental health issues and disabilities, is frustrating.

Not to mention, we've had threads asking for simple accessibility options, threads about possible issues with strobing/flashing that could cause seizures, many of these are ignored and buried quickly, or the topics become incredibly toxic that there is no conversation to be had.

We really need to talk about all these issues. I'm trying my best on this forum, and I realize a lot of times, I mess up, I try to explain myself better, and now I feel as if I ever want to post in a dating or relationship related thread, users will be quick to point out the thread above, without adding context, or I'll also be handwaved about my communication issues.

I should NOT feel this way about a forum that prides itself is making users feel safe. And I'm sure more users feel this way.

So really, we need to talk about this. How can we change this? How can this be addressed? How can the Admin/Mods make this safer? Because as it stands, I just simply do not feel safe on this forum in a majority of topics. I try and I keep posting, but I always feel I'm this close to somehow making a mistake and it just following me wherever I post.

This needs to be addressed.

(Image removed from quote.)

We need a smart name for when REEEseterans use their long list of (alleged) disabilities to shield themselves from being banned.

[team filler]

I need someone to talk to

 

http://www.thebore.com/forum/index.php?topic=45482.0

[Potato]

You can't ask questions. Ever. It's all in bad faith! Always! Straight people are out to attack us, the holy alphabet folx.

One problem that does need to be addressed that isn't strictly administration's fault is that, as per Ketkat's post, mods are quite influenced by the fact that there's communities dedicated to harassing Era and trying to tear us down. Honestly, this affects us all-- given what I've seen over the past few days, I'm skeptical that Era's trans members didn't have the same kind of spotlight pointed on them the whole time. And if they didn't before, thanks to this debacle, they certainly do now. Given my observations about certain posters in the past, mods being lax about transphobic posters has knock-on effects for all of ERA, because the CHUDs in question have all the impulse control of toddlers. People are wise enough to brand new accounts with all of four posts chiming in on sensitive topics, so even those individuals have an impetus to participate in the community, if only to build up enough cover to cause trouble. And wouldn't you know it, it just so happens that threads about trans people happen to always be full of people showing their asses 24/7. I'm going to suggest there's a correlation there. I'm going to suggest the alt-right dickheads that like to go after ERA like going after marginalized and vulnerable people most of all, and that protecting our most marginalized and vulnerable voices readily translates to making all of us safer. That includes the mods. That's more true now, after this, than it ever has been.

Translation: Ban more users and ban them faster! Faster damnit!




Edit: Top of page big black hog
 

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]

[Cerveza mas fina]

Ree is going to end up with just people with mental issues.

[benjipwns]

Everyone deserves to have a safe space on the internet.

[TVC15]

Why on earth would you tell a story about how you got busted catfishing and became notorious for it on multiple dating apps? Like, this is deep deep e-exhibitionism.

[Cerveza mas fina]

Because clearly he has communication issues 

Didn't you read his novella?

[Lonewulfeus]

Ree is going to end up with just people with mental issues.

End up? 

[Bore Expert]

Ree is going to end up with just people with mental issues.

Yeah that would be terrible

 

[benjipwns]

I don't give two fucks about flexing my post quota, but it's odd how I'm definitely one of the top 0.001% in terms of activity and contribution to the forum and still I am unable to get decently in contact with who's in charge.

The admins missed some quality suggestions:

For the major communities of ResetEra, members with semi-regular participation and some duration of 'citizenship' of said community (6 months+ to avoid an influx of saboteurs) should elect representatives to enter into the discussions with the ResetEra staff. This way representatives are not picked by the staff themselves which could lead to accusations of picking cronies or less oppositional members.

Then staff and the representatives have an open discussion on the important topics, where all of ResetEra can view (but not participate). Closed doors sessions would likely be necessary to avoid everyone needing to "perform" and to have more candid conversations, but at the end of these conversations, agreed upon summaries would be released with the endorsement of all who participated.

Because I see people talking about alternative moderation styles. How about community moderation?

What if users can vote to ban a user based on a post. For example, if someone says something hurtful, with ten dislikes they could be banned for one day. Moderators would act to overturn any bans that don't break the TOS, for example if someone posted an unpopular yet inoffensive opinion.

It's kind of similar to Reddit, if a post receives a set amount of dislikes that comment becomes hidden but the idea is that the community will be able to make inappropriate content disappear.

New thread is also adding some quality thought:

I used to think the site's staff could do more to deal with the environment here, which they can of course but I came to the conclusion that it's not really up to them, mods can't give people emotional maturity. It's up to people to suck less, but I don't think that's happening.

My advice is thicker skin, as unhelpful as that may sound. Don't let random internet people affect how you feel about yourself, or about anything really.

I'm sorry you didn't find what you were looking for here.

This is the perfect example of the type of post that should not be posted and contributes to a toxic environment on this site.

It displays a complete lack of empathy and demonstrates victim blaming tendencies. Then finishes with an exclusionary message that is basically telling the person they are responding to to leave the community if they are unwilling to put up with bad actors.

Just an overall toxic post

[Momo]

https://www.resetera.com/threads/we-need-to-have-a-discussion-about-how-members-treat-other-members-on-this-site-and-among-other-issues.154572/

So I'd been mulling about bringing up this subject because I am absolutely not the person to really be able to express myself easily, but I think we really need to have a center focused discussion about this.

We most recently just had an issue that occurred in the Trans Awareness Week and the LGBT Issues Moderation threads, which covered aspects of the issue that I'm going to be discussing in this thread, because I feel it's incredibly important. And I absolutely think there are more significant problems on this board that need to be addressed further that both relate to those issues, as well as outside of them as well.

Before I start, I need to explain something:

I am an individual who has a number of disabilities that relate to a combination of mental health, as well as mental developmental problems. Some of these include:

- Inability to quickly process thoughts and understanding said information and communication given to me.
- Inability to properly articulate what I want to say both in a text and vocal conversation. The latter is significantly worse than the former, but I absolutely do struggle to be able to communicate easily. As a result, I cannot easily and properly explain things as a result, especially in instances of heavy and emotional distress.
- I do not understand and cannot properly process spacial relation issues, which creates problems when I'm given directions on how to get to a place or what I do (I often end up going left instead of right, for instance). It also affected my ability to properly delve into aspect of Geometry, which I at the time, didn't understand why these particular things were giving me issues.
- Emotionally, I'm underdeveloped from the rest of my peers and as a result, it does make things more difficult for me to handle.
- I have anxiety, panic attack disorders, constant heart palpitations, and I both shut down and break down easily under stress. Because of this, I am disabled, on disability, and attempts to try to put me in the work force have not been successful. I am 30 years old, have practically no college experience, and never worked properly either.
- For many of my issues, I am attending and seeing multiple people at a local mental health clinic, but it's a life long issue for me and I do not see myself improving. It's more just trying to cope with what I do have at this point and trying to deal with it the best I can.

And there's more issues I can get into.

As to why this relates to what I'm about to discuss, awhile back after I had a bad experience on Grindr, I opened a thread to vent. The result? Immediately an automatic assumptions, misunderstanding what I was saying, and it got to the point that I do not believe that the topic warranted further discussion. The topic can be read here.

What happened is I did not properly explain what happened, I was under distress, and I was not able to communicate properly. What ultimately happened was during the beginning of the conversation, I apologized to the user I had not updated my profile image in a bit, I sent him what I had at the start of the conversation, we communicated and made sure everything was okay from the get go, and somehow the user not long after that made some of those comments. Ultimately, it's no big deal in the end and I just learn from it and move on.

The topic was another matter. I was called out for "Cat fishing", and it resulted in a user bumping the thread in another topic which suggested it heavily implied to be me given the wording. To add onto this, there were comments intentionally fat shaming me, and among other issues in the said thread.

Another thread that I had opened up, regarding a trending topic on Twitter and I asked users how their High School experience was, a individual posted the following text:

From the sounds of it maybe a school that could better deal w/ your behavioral issues might have done the trick, doesn’t seem like that school was working out for you.

I literally responded to the user to clarify, but they ignored my post and I can only imagine from that they were automatically assuming the worst about me and making said comment.

In another thread, after I brought up my experience on Tinder as a whole (which was a mixture, positive and negative, I think we all had that), individuals proceeded to try and "Call me out", including saying the reason they stopped talking to me was because I got caught "cat fishing", and then when I tried to explain my situation how I struggle to communicate, individual proceeded to say that I should google communication guides and stuff like that and practice and it didn't seem to matter at that point what I had to say.

For reference: Once I became aware of my communication issues, I had to learn how to communicate (took me over a year and I was still practicing since about 2003 or so), but I feel that as if I've hit a brick wall on this and I think I'm at my limit. Even my doctor told me not to over think it as this point and it's okay if I can't easily say what I have to.

These are issues that I personally experience and I feel are minor probably compared to some users, but I feel this is still worth mentioning. This is not okay and it makes me, a person with a number of issues as is, uncomfortable here.

However, we have had issues with some other topics, which I had minimal participation in, such as some of the Gym topics, in how they can be incredibly toxic in nature, and honestly: overly condescending.

Most recent topic comes to mind is this one, both in the OPs title, text, and the poll options. I often people see them post this in threads and it really bugs me as a user that I at first thought was a joke, but this topic seems to serve otherwise, including the responses feel kinda unwelcoming. There was also a topic I participated that also felt incredibly toxic and judgmental, and as a person who struggles to deal with self-esteem issues on top of what I detailed, this only made me feel worse seeing comments like this. Users did call some of this out, but doesn't feel it made an impact.

Now, this isn't intended to be a call out to individual users (and I realize it's hard not to discuss this without bringing up specific topics or posts, so I apologize for this), because I don't think it's specifically one or two people, but the fact many users are not being held accountable by some of the behavior replicated.

I do believe my personal issues, arguably are probably minor, but as someone who has to deal with miscommunications on a day-to-day basis, difficulty explaining myself, and then I feel people automatically assuming the worst, only makes these topics more difficult to post in these.

I've heard from users how uncomfortable they feel posting in Dating, Gym/Fitness threads, and among other ones, as well as some of the comments I've seen with people dealing with mental health issues and disabilities, is frustrating.

Not to mention, we've had threads asking for simple accessibility options, threads about possible issues with strobing/flashing that could cause seizures, many of these are ignored and buried quickly, or the topics become incredibly toxic that there is no conversation to be had.

We really need to talk about all these issues. I'm trying my best on this forum, and I realize a lot of times, I mess up, I try to explain myself better, and now I feel as if I ever want to post in a dating or relationship related thread, users will be quick to point out the thread above, without adding context, or I'll also be handwaved about my communication issues.

I should NOT feel this way about a forum that prides itself is making users feel safe. And I'm sure more users feel this way.

So really, we need to talk about this. How can we change this? How can this be addressed? How can the Admin/Mods make this safer? Because as it stands, I just simply do not feel safe on this forum in a majority of topics. I try and I keep posting, but I always feel I'm this close to somehow making a mistake and it just following me wherever I post.

This needs to be addressed.

(Image removed from quote.)

[BrokenEchelon]

Is there a single fucking regular poster on that site who isn't an emotionally and mentally stunted degenerate drama queen? It's a fucking message board you fucking losers. Close the tab if you feel "threatened" by pixels on screen. How do these mouth breathers manage to do ANYTHING in the real world?

[benjipwns]

https://www.resetera.com/threads/we-need-to-have-a-discussion-about-how-members-treat-other-members-on-this-site-and-among-other-issues.154572/

So I'd been mulling about bringing up this subject because I am absolutely not the person to really be able to express myself easily, but I think we really need to have a center focused discussion about this.

We most recently just had an issue that occurred in the Trans Awareness Week and the LGBT Issues Moderation threads, which covered aspects of the issue that I'm going to be discussing in this thread, because I feel it's incredibly important. And I absolutely think there are more significant problems on this board that need to be addressed further that both relate to those issues, as well as outside of them as well.

Before I start, I need to explain something:

I am an individual who has a number of disabilities that relate to a combination of mental health, as well as mental developmental problems. Some of these include:

- Inability to quickly process thoughts and understanding said information and communication given to me.
- Inability to properly articulate what I want to say both in a text and vocal conversation. The latter is significantly worse than the former, but I absolutely do struggle to be able to communicate easily. As a result, I cannot easily and properly explain things as a result, especially in instances of heavy and emotional distress.
- I do not understand and cannot properly process spacial relation issues, which creates problems when I'm given directions on how to get to a place or what I do (I often end up going left instead of right, for instance). It also affected my ability to properly delve into aspect of Geometry, which I at the time, didn't understand why these particular things were giving me issues.
- Emotionally, I'm underdeveloped from the rest of my peers and as a result, it does make things more difficult for me to handle.
- I have anxiety, panic attack disorders, constant heart palpitations, and I both shut down and break down easily under stress. Because of this, I am disabled, on disability, and attempts to try to put me in the work force have not been successful. I am 30 years old, have practically no college experience, and never worked properly either.
- For many of my issues, I am attending and seeing multiple people at a local mental health clinic, but it's a life long issue for me and I do not see myself improving. It's more just trying to cope with what I do have at this point and trying to deal with it the best I can.

And there's more issues I can get into.

As to why this relates to what I'm about to discuss, awhile back after I had a bad experience on Grindr, I opened a thread to vent. The result? Immediately an automatic assumptions, misunderstanding what I was saying, and it got to the point that I do not believe that the topic warranted further discussion. The topic can be read here.

What happened is I did not properly explain what happened, I was under distress, and I was not able to communicate properly. What ultimately happened was during the beginning of the conversation, I apologized to the user I had not updated my profile image in a bit, I sent him what I had at the start of the conversation, we communicated and made sure everything was okay from the get go, and somehow the user not long after that made some of those comments. Ultimately, it's no big deal in the end and I just learn from it and move on.

The topic was another matter. I was called out for "Cat fishing", and it resulted in a user bumping the thread in another topic which suggested it heavily implied to be me given the wording. To add onto this, there were comments intentionally fat shaming me, and among other issues in the said thread.

Another thread that I had opened up, regarding a trending topic on Twitter and I asked users how their High School experience was, a individual posted the following text:

From the sounds of it maybe a school that could better deal w/ your behavioral issues might have done the trick, doesn’t seem like that school was working out for you.

I literally responded to the user to clarify, but they ignored my post and I can only imagine from that they were automatically assuming the worst about me and making said comment.

In another thread, after I brought up my experience on Tinder as a whole (which was a mixture, positive and negative, I think we all had that), individuals proceeded to try and "Call me out", including saying the reason they stopped talking to me was because I got caught "cat fishing", and then when I tried to explain my situation how I struggle to communicate, individual proceeded to say that I should google communication guides and stuff like that and practice and it didn't seem to matter at that point what I had to say.

For reference: Once I became aware of my communication issues, I had to learn how to communicate (took me over a year and I was still practicing since about 2003 or so), but I feel that as if I've hit a brick wall on this and I think I'm at my limit. Even my doctor told me not to over think it as this point and it's okay if I can't easily say what I have to.

These are issues that I personally experience and I feel are minor probably compared to some users, but I feel this is still worth mentioning. This is not okay and it makes me, a person with a number of issues as is, uncomfortable here.

However, we have had issues with some other topics, which I had minimal participation in, such as some of the Gym topics, in how they can be incredibly toxic in nature, and honestly: overly condescending.

Most recent topic comes to mind is this one, both in the OPs title, text, and the poll options. I often people see them post this in threads and it really bugs me as a user that I at first thought was a joke, but this topic seems to serve otherwise, including the responses feel kinda unwelcoming. There was also a topic I participated that also felt incredibly toxic and judgmental, and as a person who struggles to deal with self-esteem issues on top of what I detailed, this only made me feel worse seeing comments like this. Users did call some of this out, but doesn't feel it made an impact.

Now, this isn't intended to be a call out to individual users (and I realize it's hard not to discuss this without bringing up specific topics or posts, so I apologize for this), because I don't think it's specifically one or two people, but the fact many users are not being held accountable by some of the behavior replicated.

I do believe my personal issues, arguably are probably minor, but as someone who has to deal with miscommunications on a day-to-day basis, difficulty explaining myself, and then I feel people automatically assuming the worst, only makes these topics more difficult to post in these.

I've heard from users how uncomfortable they feel posting in Dating, Gym/Fitness threads, and among other ones, as well as some of the comments I've seen with people dealing with mental health issues and disabilities, is frustrating.

Not to mention, we've had threads asking for simple accessibility options, threads about possible issues with strobing/flashing that could cause seizures, many of these are ignored and buried quickly, or the topics become incredibly toxic that there is no conversation to be had.

We really need to talk about all these issues. I'm trying my best on this forum, and I realize a lot of times, I mess up, I try to explain myself better, and now I feel as if I ever want to post in a dating or relationship related thread, users will be quick to point out the thread above, without adding context, or I'll also be handwaved about my communication issues.

I should NOT feel this way about a forum that prides itself is making users feel safe. And I'm sure more users feel this way.

So really, we need to talk about this. How can we change this? How can this be addressed? How can the Admin/Mods make this safer? Because as it stands, I just simply do not feel safe on this forum in a majority of topics. I try and I keep posting, but I always feel I'm this close to somehow making a mistake and it just following me wherever I post.

This needs to be addressed.

(Image removed from quote.)

Not as good as the ultimate:

[HaughtyFrank]

ARE YOU TRYING TO SILENCE ME? DO YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE ACE??

Hey I know you weren't serious, but the notion of ace people thinking they're better than other people by not being interested in sex is an actual harmful stereotype I've seen come up.

https://www.resetera.com/threads/resetera-moderation-staff-is-fucking-up-beyond-belief-on-lgbt-issues.153951/post-26703251
 
 

[Transhuman]

Is there a single fucking regular poster on that site who isn't an emotionally and mentally stunted degenerate drama queen?

There's a few. I don't know how often you have to post to be considered a regular, but sometimes i'll read something that's actually insightful and adds to the discussion.

[VomKriege]

SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE

[Momo]

https://www.resetera.com/threads/we-need-to-have-a-discussion-about-how-members-treat-other-members-on-this-site-and-among-other-issues.154572/

So I'd been mulling about bringing up this subject because I am absolutely not the person to really be able to express myself easily, but I think we really need to have a center focused discussion about this.

We most recently just had an issue that occurred in the Trans Awareness Week and the LGBT Issues Moderation threads, which covered aspects of the issue that I'm going to be discussing in this thread, because I feel it's incredibly important. And I absolutely think there are more significant problems on this board that need to be addressed further that both relate to those issues, as well as outside of them as well.

Before I start, I need to explain something:

I am an individual who has a number of disabilities that relate to a combination of mental health, as well as mental developmental problems. Some of these include:

- Inability to quickly process thoughts and understanding said information and communication given to me.
- Inability to properly articulate what I want to say both in a text and vocal conversation. The latter is significantly worse than the former, but I absolutely do struggle to be able to communicate easily. As a result, I cannot easily and properly explain things as a result, especially in instances of heavy and emotional distress.
- I do not understand and cannot properly process spacial relation issues, which creates problems when I'm given directions on how to get to a place or what I do (I often end up going left instead of right, for instance). It also affected my ability to properly delve into aspect of Geometry, which I at the time, didn't understand why these particular things were giving me issues.
- Emotionally, I'm underdeveloped from the rest of my peers and as a result, it does make things more difficult for me to handle.
- I have anxiety, panic attack disorders, constant heart palpitations, and I both shut down and break down easily under stress. Because of this, I am disabled, on disability, and attempts to try to put me in the work force have not been successful. I am 30 years old, have practically no college experience, and never worked properly either.
- For many of my issues, I am attending and seeing multiple people at a local mental health clinic, but it's a life long issue for me and I do not see myself improving. It's more just trying to cope with what I do have at this point and trying to deal with it the best I can.

And there's more issues I can get into.

As to why this relates to what I'm about to discuss, awhile back after I had a bad experience on Grindr, I opened a thread to vent. The result? Immediately an automatic assumptions, misunderstanding what I was saying, and it got to the point that I do not believe that the topic warranted further discussion. The topic can be read here.

What happened is I did not properly explain what happened, I was under distress, and I was not able to communicate properly. What ultimately happened was during the beginning of the conversation, I apologized to the user I had not updated my profile image in a bit, I sent him what I had at the start of the conversation, we communicated and made sure everything was okay from the get go, and somehow the user not long after that made some of those comments. Ultimately, it's no big deal in the end and I just learn from it and move on.

The topic was another matter. I was called out for "Cat fishing", and it resulted in a user bumping the thread in another topic which suggested it heavily implied to be me given the wording. To add onto this, there were comments intentionally fat shaming me, and among other issues in the said thread.

Another thread that I had opened up, regarding a trending topic on Twitter and I asked users how their High School experience was, a individual posted the following text:

From the sounds of it maybe a school that could better deal w/ your behavioral issues might have done the trick, doesn’t seem like that school was working out for you.

I literally responded to the user to clarify, but they ignored my post and I can only imagine from that they were automatically assuming the worst about me and making said comment.

In another thread, after I brought up my experience on Tinder as a whole (which was a mixture, positive and negative, I think we all had that), individuals proceeded to try and "Call me out", including saying the reason they stopped talking to me was because I got caught "cat fishing", and then when I tried to explain my situation how I struggle to communicate, individual proceeded to say that I should google communication guides and stuff like that and practice and it didn't seem to matter at that point what I had to say.

For reference: Once I became aware of my communication issues, I had to learn how to communicate (took me over a year and I was still practicing since about 2003 or so), but I feel that as if I've hit a brick wall on this and I think I'm at my limit. Even my doctor told me not to over think it as this point and it's okay if I can't easily say what I have to.

These are issues that I personally experience and I feel are minor probably compared to some users, but I feel this is still worth mentioning. This is not okay and it makes me, a person with a number of issues as is, uncomfortable here.

However, we have had issues with some other topics, which I had minimal participation in, such as some of the Gym topics, in how they can be incredibly toxic in nature, and honestly: overly condescending.

Most recent topic comes to mind is this one, both in the OPs title, text, and the poll options. I often people see them post this in threads and it really bugs me as a user that I at first thought was a joke, but this topic seems to serve otherwise, including the responses feel kinda unwelcoming. There was also a topic I participated that also felt incredibly toxic and judgmental, and as a person who struggles to deal with self-esteem issues on top of what I detailed, this only made me feel worse seeing comments like this. Users did call some of this out, but doesn't feel it made an impact.

Now, this isn't intended to be a call out to individual users (and I realize it's hard not to discuss this without bringing up specific topics or posts, so I apologize for this), because I don't think it's specifically one or two people, but the fact many users are not being held accountable by some of the behavior replicated.

I do believe my personal issues, arguably are probably minor, but as someone who has to deal with miscommunications on a day-to-day basis, difficulty explaining myself, and then I feel people automatically assuming the worst, only makes these topics more difficult to post in these.

I've heard from users how uncomfortable they feel posting in Dating, Gym/Fitness threads, and among other ones, as well as some of the comments I've seen with people dealing with mental health issues and disabilities, is frustrating.

Not to mention, we've had threads asking for simple accessibility options, threads about possible issues with strobing/flashing that could cause seizures, many of these are ignored and buried quickly, or the topics become incredibly toxic that there is no conversation to be had.

We really need to talk about all these issues. I'm trying my best on this forum, and I realize a lot of times, I mess up, I try to explain myself better, and now I feel as if I ever want to post in a dating or relationship related thread, users will be quick to point out the thread above, without adding context, or I'll also be handwaved about my communication issues.

I should NOT feel this way about a forum that prides itself is making users feel safe. And I'm sure more users feel this way.

So really, we need to talk about this. How can we change this? How can this be addressed? How can the Admin/Mods make this safer? Because as it stands, I just simply do not feel safe on this forum in a majority of topics. I try and I keep posting, but I always feel I'm this close to somehow making a mistake and it just following me wherever I post.

This needs to be addressed.

(Image removed from quote.)

Not as good as the ultimate:

[Pissy F Benny]

The only thing that makes me feel safe is filler likes 

[Lonewulfeus]

If that happened today it would’ve been a lot worse for all of them. Artest could’ve easily been banned for life.

Deadnaming?

[headwalk]

[headwalk]

[headwalk]

[headwalk]

the ultimate cinematic asset.

[TVC15]

Moar

Insomnia again. Third time this week

[TVC15]

headwalk you are doing My Sweet Satan’s work