My point still stands.
spoiler (click to show/hide)
I found out that a member of my extended family (not a blood relative) is a hardcore #StandWithVic guy. Part of me thinks I shouldn't be posting about this, but I'm extremely disappointed, and it's challenged my guess that most of the people associated with this would have already been radicalized.
Notably, he was also (and still seems to be) passionately anti-Gamergate, although he wasn't the most well read on that, either. He bought into their fake attack-on-gamers origin story, but he didn't believe that was justification for harassment. So I was surprised that he was taking this stance, and he seemed to be surprised by me as well. He's been watching Nick Rekieta; another point of surprise was when I told him how the livestreams have harmed Ty Beard.
Since we seemed to be pretty entrenched in our positions, I just lightly explained why I took my position, and for the most part I talked with him about the facts of the court case. He was the one who brought it up, since apparently he was dying to find someone else who was familiar with the situation, but he didn't really try to convince me either. He just insisted that everyone on #KickVic was insane, and that #StandWithVic is misrepresented by claims that they're against women.
There were a few things he did that particularly disappointed me. When the topic of Nick Rekieta came up, I also mentioned the blackface. He was clearly familiar with it, laughed uncomfortably and danced around it for a bit, and then settled on something like "but he was at a party with a friend". Tangentially, he also joked - with a toddler, no less - that the easiest way for the toddler to mock him is to accuse him of being a white supremacist. When the first part of our conversation was closing, he said to me "so anyway, Vic will win, he's innocent, and even if he isn't he's good looking so the women should have enjoyed it anyway." That's almost verbatim.
I'm posting this primarily because I'm upset, but just in case he bumps into this post somehow, I'd also like to say the things that I should have told him earlier.
You're in an mixed marriage. When you left the living room, members of the family you married into were sharing stroies about being suspected of being possible terrorists by border security. Your son is biracial. The white supremacy you scoffed at considers him to be an abomination, living proof of genocide against the white race.
Instead of painting yourself as a victim because people said mean things to you over the Internet, instead of styling yourself as a saint because you've never put on a hood and robe, you should be trying to understand that people different than you have different experiences. You should be trying to appreciate that there are problems in the real world that risk affecting your loved ones, that might have affected your wife in the past, that might affect your son in the future.
As for "he's good looking so the women should have enjoyed it anyway". What you said to me, in effect, is that sexual assault against a woman is justified if by an attractive man. What's more, the woman has a duty to enjoy it. That is completely heinous and you know it is. This sort of justification is why the term "rape culture" exists; it's part of why sexual assault is underreported and difficult to prosecute.
I may be prone to sarcasm myself, but that doesn't mean that this situation is a joke. Think about the implications of what you said. God forbid, but think about what it means for your family. I've known you long enough to know that you love your wife very much. Imagine if someone was to approach her with that mindset, that if they're a handsome man, they can assault your wife and she's supposed to enjoy it. Imagine if your son grows up with that idea, that if he's handsome, he's free to assault women. Could you live with yourself if your loved ones had to face the consequences of the idea you shared with me?
Tell me again how it's wrong for you to be painted as a misogynist when you told me what you did. If you want people to see you as the good guy, don't take it for granted. Make an effort to actually be one. Up until this point, I've thought that of you, and I'd like to believe that you'll reflect on what you said and look back on it with shame
