THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: TVC15 on December 19, 2007, 04:08:20 AM

Title: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: TVC15 on December 19, 2007, 04:08:20 AM
. . .unspeakably awful.  I turned it off after 5 minutes, before my precious Caligula even got to appear.

This makes Basic Instinct 2 look great.  At least that movie was a ridiculously shallow ego-stroking implement for Sharon Stone, which made for inadvertantly hilarious viewing.

Halloween is, well, I'm not qualified to say what it is since I already gave up on it.  But what the fuck is with Rob Zombie's white trash fixation?  It pops up in House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil's Rejects, but the pedal is to the metal here.  They aren't the entertaining redneck via Texas Chainsaw Massacre hillbillies of previous flicks; here we get what appears to be a legitimate attempt to emulate actual white trash.  It's not funny, or scary, or offensive, it's just stupid with lots of cursing and yelling and inappropriate rednecky comments.  Every second seems to feel the need to out-white trash the previous white trashy second, just so you know how hard core white trash keepin it real white trash this white trash family is.  White trash!

And that's where I quit.  I called the game on account of Trying to Hard.  What it was trying to do, I have no fucking clue.  I guess this falls into all the background stuff people complained about; the "trying to explain michael" stuff.  Personally, I'd have no real issue with Zombie trying to explain Michael if it weren't done in such a juvenile, stupid, "let's laugh at the rednecks now--but you won't laugh later!" way.

This, my friends, is distinguished mentally-challenged.  Phoenix Dark level.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: EvilBoris on December 19, 2007, 04:11:00 AM
 And you purchased it you fool.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: TVC15 on December 19, 2007, 04:13:31 AM
And you purchased it you fool.

I liked his previous two movies.  I will sit through this, I promise.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: Phoenix Dark on December 19, 2007, 04:16:03 AM
And that's where I quit.  I called the game on account of Trying to Hard. 

...and you like his other two films though? Hm
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: Bloodwake on December 19, 2007, 04:42:55 AM
Hopefully you got the unrated, because the Smith's Grove sequences are much more fleshed out and better in it.

As for the beginning sequence, I mean, I would kill my family too if they were that much white trash. That's one thing I don't understand about Halloween: it's almost as if you see reason in some of Michael's actions in the film. Instead of disturbing, which is what I think horror should do, we are satisfied to see these fucking white trash asscocks die.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: Bloodwake on December 19, 2007, 05:19:40 AM
If you stuck along, it made the contrast between Laurie's real family and Laurie's foster family seem greater. That was something I appreciated about the white trash parts.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: Joe Molotov on December 19, 2007, 07:22:23 AM
One of the worst movies of the year.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: Ecrofirt on December 19, 2007, 09:03:40 AM
I really enjoyed Zombie's Halloween. Saw it twice in theaters and watched the workprint. I'll post more at work.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: abrader on December 19, 2007, 09:08:55 AM
yeah i dont know what to think - I remember thinking WTF when I saw the thread where you decree that it is the home video release of the year....

Ill take Classic Halloween and no impostors kthx.

Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: Solo on December 19, 2007, 09:34:58 AM
It does get better, Whitey. I agree that the opening with William Forsythe's Ronnie is painfully awful, but the second half of the movie gets better.

Its odd though, as William Forsythe's character was the best part of TDR.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: Ecrofirt on December 19, 2007, 10:12:59 AM
My perfect cut of the movie would have the following:
The rape scene from the workprint, followed by the Danny Trejo death scene (essentially, just get rid of him hulking out of the chains and replace it with the rape)
The cemetery scene from the theatrical release
The extra shots of Laurie's mom dying
The ending from the theatrical release*


* - The ending choice was very hard, because I like both endings.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: The Fake Shemp on December 19, 2007, 12:17:24 PM
I adamantly disagree with Solo and Ecrofirt - the movie really doesn't get better at all.  The best scene in the movie is early on, a bit after you stopped watching the film, but the rest of the movie sucks because after Smith's Grove as well, it turns into a condensed, shot-for-shot regurgitation of the Carpenter original.  Except faster and trashier!
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: Human Snorenado on December 19, 2007, 12:22:31 PM
I actually agree with Federwang on this one, which is a rarity.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: The Fake Shemp on December 19, 2007, 12:32:02 PM
It's one thing if you are going to make a movie that really doesn't need to be made; the original Halloween hasn't lost any of its staying power and is just as iconic now as it was when it was originally released.  Yet, Zombie managed to turn in a made-for-SciFi caliber production (complete with enough Grade-B actors that CHUD asked if it was filmed in the guest parking lot during San Diego ComiCon) that doesn't bring anything to series other than the thought of, "Hey, why the fuck don't I just watch the original?"
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: abrader on December 19, 2007, 12:39:02 PM
It's one thing if you are going to make a movie that really doesn't need to be made; the original Halloween hasn't lost any of its staying power and is just as iconic now as it was when it was originally released.  Yet, Zombie managed to turn in a made-for-SciFi caliber production (complete with enough Grade-B actors that CHUD asked if it was filmed in the guest parking lot during San Diego ComiCon) that doesn't bring anything to series other than the thought of, "Hey, why the fuck don't I just watch the original?"

hammer + nail = on the head.

Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: Mupepe on December 19, 2007, 01:05:55 PM
plus, why the fuck does he put his wife in it?  she sucks.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: Joe Molotov on December 19, 2007, 01:20:26 PM
plus, why the fuck does he put his wife in it?  she sucks.

At least make her show her boobies, I mean geez.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: Mupepe on December 19, 2007, 01:28:46 PM
agreed.  she has an annoying fucking voice and she can't act.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on December 19, 2007, 01:37:09 PM
but her name is "Sheri Moon Zombie".  That's amazing enough to justify putting her anywhere and everywhere.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: Saint Cornelius on December 19, 2007, 01:38:43 PM
And that's where I quit.  I called the game on account of Trying to Hard.

Settle down.

By the way, I heard that this movie sucked, yes... but the deaths were fucking unbelieveably brutal.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: TVC15 on December 19, 2007, 01:48:07 PM
It was late, Corny!
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on December 19, 2007, 01:50:25 PM
why wouldn't someone sick enough to watch a movie for "brutal deaths" just watch al-Qaeda beheading videos instead?
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: The Fake Shemp on December 19, 2007, 01:52:41 PM
I'm all for watching a mediocre horror film for inventive deaths (Final Destination 2!), but a good portion of the kills were stolen from the original or elsewhere.  Homage?  Pfft.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: Joe Molotov on December 19, 2007, 01:53:44 PM
And that's where I quit.  I called the game on account of Trying to Hard.

Settle down.

By the way, I heard that this movie sucked, yes... but the deaths were fucking unbelieveably brutal.

Meh, I've seen better. Besides, there's way too much torture-porn clogging the cineplexes already for brutal deaths to be much of a selling point.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: Bloodwake on December 19, 2007, 02:01:56 PM
My perfect cut of the movie would have the following:
The rape scene from the workprint, followed by the Danny Trejo death scene (essentially, just get rid of him hulking out of the chains and replace it with the rape)
The cemetery scene from the theatrical release
The extra shots of Laurie's mom dying
The ending from the theatrical release*


* - The ending choice was very hard, because I like both endings.


This is basically the unrated edition. Purchase immediately.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: Bloodwake on December 19, 2007, 02:03:23 PM
The stuff that is different is good. Smith's Grove is great, and the ending was really good. The rest of the stuff was adequate. I enjoyed the film overall. I mean, it's not on the level of some of the other movies I have seen this year, but it was good.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: Saint Cornelius on December 19, 2007, 02:09:09 PM
why wouldn't someone sick enough to watch a movie for "brutal deaths" just watch al-Qaeda beheading videos instead?

because I'd rather see some phony bullshit than actual human suffering? think before you type, idiot.

Meh, I've seen better. Besides, there's way too much torture-porn clogging the cineplexes already for brutal deaths to be much of a selling point.

personally, after watching Murder Set Pieces, nothing can shock me. well the rape scene in Irreversible, maybe.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: The Fake Shemp on December 19, 2007, 02:21:31 PM
The Smith's Grove stuff was pure shit.  That little kid who plays Michael cannot act whatsoever and McDowell wears the worst wig in the history of film as he phones in his performance.  You can literally see him cashing in his check.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: TVC15 on December 19, 2007, 02:26:37 PM
You ever see the August Underground movies, Corny?  I personally think they are kind of stupid, but if you are all EXXXTREME I think you need to evaluate them.

I'll give Halloween another shot tonight.  I was just coming off of like 4 hours of Blade Runner last night, and besides that, I don't see how the redneck family part can't be the nadir of the movie.  It has to get better from there.

I dunno, there's something about the Rob Zombie movies.  Just the fact that a white trash family in his previous two movies would be played up for yucks, but here it's SERIOUS.  It's like Zombie only knows how to do one thing.  For Rob Zombie, white trash is the equivalent to overpasses for me.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: abrader on December 19, 2007, 02:27:40 PM
Halloween Vs. RZ's Halloween

is analogous to

Black Christmas Vs. 2006 Black Christmas

Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: Bloodwake on December 19, 2007, 02:33:34 PM
The Smith's Grove stuff was pure shit.  That little kid who plays Michael cannot act whatsoever and McDowell wears the worst wig in the history of film as he phones in his performance.  You can literally see him cashing in his check.

Again, the unrated cut. They add some scenes that weren't in the theatrical or the work print. Mainly black and while shots with McDowell voiceovers. It's basically some shots of him standing around in some of the creepier masks that weren't seen in the theatrical. It really adds to the film IMO, because I thought the Smith's Grove sequence was adequate, but lacking.

It's obvious from the casting on the special features that they had better child actors (the kid who played Tommy, while not that much better, kicked Daeg Faerch's ass with his performance in the screen tests) but that Zombie used Faerch because he looks creepier. It's evident that the decision was justified whenever I watched the added VO scenes, with the kid wearing the mask, what direction Zombie took with it and why.

I'm definitely glad they took the grown up Michael Myers dialogue out of it as well, some of the dialogue was used for the actors (Scout-Taylor Compton, specifically) to respond to in the screen tests, and it was utter shit.

I see Zombie's reasoning to use Faerch, but damn, if they would have used the child actor who played Tommy, it would have been a totally different film. They could have used him and made a Norman Batesish type child character, a skinny kid who isn't that intimidating, but could have been believable as a quiet psychopath. Faerch's only good scene was the bathroom scene where he tells the principal "Fuck You." The rest of it I try to forget.

It's by far not a perfect film, but in terms of some of the horror movies I've seen recently, much better than some of the crap Hollywood shits into theatres... mainly because I see some actual decisions and work put into the film. I like the new Halloween, but I'm not about to put it over the Carpenter original. There are some things clicking in it though, and it does succeed on a level.

It's around a 6.5 or 7 IMO.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: TVC15 on December 19, 2007, 02:36:32 PM
How is Malcolm McDowell in it?  I am kinda a fanboy.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: The Fake Shemp on December 19, 2007, 02:56:35 PM
McDowell phones in one of his worst performances in ages, and I really like McDowell. The script sucks, so it doesn't give him much to work with, but even worse is the awful, fake wig Zombie forces him to wear.

Like I said, I think you can see hin cashing his paycheck on screen. Maybe he needed a new house or something.

The Smith Grove segment bogs the movie down and I don't care if the unrated cut contains the best scene in he history of cinema - then it merely elevates this film from horrible to bad, as if it wre some kind of accomplishment.

I wish this were an epic Zombie trainwreck (ala Raimi), because the it'd be atl least worth a viewing. Instead, he tried to replicate Carpenter with his white trash fetish and the result is not just insulting, but boring.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: Saint Cornelius on December 19, 2007, 03:01:42 PM
You ever see the August Underground movies, Corny?  I personally think they are kind of stupid, but if you are all EXXXTREME I think you need to evaluate them.


Oh man, I read about those flicks and I don't think I could stomach them. At least MDS had SOME kind of plot (a really shitty, horribly written one, but one nonetheless) where Mordum is just about abducting people, raping them and then dismembering them slowly. That's too real for me.

But the Guinea Pig series I can handle. Maybe it's because Japs don't have souls.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: Eel O'Brian on December 19, 2007, 06:51:24 PM
Nekromantik and Nekromantik II.  You'll pretty much want to kill yourself after watching those.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: Robo on December 19, 2007, 06:53:35 PM
The Nekromantik movies would actually be pretty fun if they didn't have all the weird animal butchering stuff.  Goddamn foreigners.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: TVC15 on December 19, 2007, 09:17:52 PM
I'm going to take a nap and then try to watch it again.  I'm tired after work today.  I'd try to watch Halloween in bed, but I'd probably just fall asleep.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: TVC15 on December 19, 2007, 10:14:36 PM
Sweet fuck, please tell me McDowell doesn't have that wig on for the whole movie.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: Joe Molotov on December 19, 2007, 10:19:39 PM
Sweet fuck, please tell me McDowell doesn't have that wig on for the whole movie.

No, but you should probably bail out now anyway. You're fighting a losing battle, man!
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: Van Cruncheon on December 19, 2007, 10:21:54 PM
why wouldn't someone sick enough to watch a movie for "brutal deaths" just watch al-Qaeda beheading videos instead?

because I'd rather see some phony bullshit than actual human suffering? think before you type, idiot.

Meh, I've seen better. Besides, there's way too much torture-porn clogging the cineplexes already for brutal deaths to be much of a selling point.

personally, after watching Murder Set Pieces, nothing can shock me. well the rape scene in Irreversible, maybe.

was murder-set-pieces THAT shocking? my brother thought it was pretty cheesy, and he loves ultraviolent movies. the scene in irreversible, though...and monica belucci...oh god :'(

august underground is just fetishistic and tedious -- it's like pure gross-out shock shit. the guinea pigs are at least weird enough to almost -- almost! -- have transgressive merit, although again i get that creepy feeling that there are folks who get off on this stuff, which ooks me more than the movies themselves. me, i'll occasionally watch shit like that just to test my limits and because i have a terrible, terrible morbid curiosity. i really REALLY gotta be at LEAST a little baked up before i do, though.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on December 19, 2007, 10:28:43 PM
Quote
because I'd rather see some phony bullshit than actual human suffering?

but you're enjoying the scene for its depiction of human suffering.  the AQ beheading videos are just videos, nobody actually gets re-killed when you watch one again.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: Van Cruncheon on December 19, 2007, 10:33:48 PM
so when we watch lachrymose dramas and tragedies, we enjoy seeing relationships ruined, families torn apart, people in the throes of depression, and the failings of the human condition? that it's all just some perverse exercise in schadenfreude?

part of the human condition is to try and understand experiences other than our own, and sometimes, exposing ourselves to raw violence and terror is just as intriguing as exposing ourselves to tragedy, sadness, futility, and the other unpleasantries that cinema can safely present to us. hence: morbid curiosity.

that said, some "gore" movies aren't exercises in transgression and instead are totally pornographic, and those are largely contemptible. however, physical suffering can potentially be a cinematic experience just like mental and spiritual anguish, or joy, or celebration, or existential ennui, or alienation, or a billion other human conditions that can be part and parcel of great statements in the hands of someone with talent and broader message.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on December 19, 2007, 10:40:20 PM
if you watch them e.g. "for brutal breakup scenes" perhaps.  it's like violence, which can have legitimate functions in movies, either for the action (to add tension) or for the story (lotsa stuff).  if you appreciate the use of depictions of violence to support other things, that can be fine, but if you watch the movies FOR the violence, you are a sick fuck.

edit in response to your edit: yes.  the key phrase is "broader message".  "i hear the movie sucked but has awesome brutal deaths!" sounds like watching it FOR the brutal deaths.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: Van Cruncheon on December 19, 2007, 10:42:39 PM
there's no reason to watch "house of sand and fog" for any other reason than to see a woman utterly ruin her life and another family's. yet it received a fair bit of critical acclaim. is watching it an exercise in schadenfreude, or do you think we can learn something about ourselves and human nature when see people in extremis?
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on December 19, 2007, 11:20:43 PM
i think i've let you lead me astray a bit actually.  there's an important difference between "brutal deaths" and "brutal breakup scenes" in that brutal deaths lend themselves too much to portrayal as a mechanical event, rather than a socially situated process.  or something like that, I've been up 32 hours and can't really argue this properly atm
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: Christopher on December 20, 2007, 12:24:14 AM
Laurie seemed like a cunt in this one - but still pretty cute. 

I saw this with friends and ehhh I didn't think too much of it either way.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: The Fake Shemp on December 20, 2007, 01:01:37 AM
Christopher brings up another huge problem I had with this re imagining or whatever the fuck you want to call it - the dialogue for the teenage girls.  Now, I get to see teenagers day in and day out working retail, and whilst the word "bitch" is tossed around, nothing compares to the barrage of "bitch"-alogue (trademarked, assholes) that your are pummeled with in Rob Zombie's script.  Apparently, Rob thinks all teenage girls use the word "bitch" in every, single sentence.

Now, Carpenter knew at his age that he was too far removed to write relevant dialogue for teenage girls, so he - gasp! - gave those duties to the actual young women.  But to compare Carpenter and Zombie's egos is an exercise in futility.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: TVC15 on December 20, 2007, 01:03:16 AM
Eh, I don't think this is that bad anymore.  More mediocre than bad.  Going by the numbers, it's probably actually one of the better Halloween sequels.

Actually, I like the dialogue for the most part.  Maybe it is a bit too crass, but at least it spices up a kinda ho-hum movie.  Once Michael gets to Haddonfield, it is totally textbook.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: The Fake Shemp on December 20, 2007, 01:16:43 AM
Once Michael gets to Haddonfield, the reimagining just turns into a condensed, amped up version of Carpenter's classic.  And considering that the more the film tries to duplicate the 70s original, and goes from horrible to mediocre, I think it speaks more about the source material than Zombie.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: TVC15 on December 20, 2007, 01:30:10 AM
Once Michael gets to Haddonfield, the reimagining just turns into a condensed, amped up version of Carpenter's classic.  And considering that the more the film tries to duplicate the 70s original, and goes from horrible to mediocre, I think it speaks more about the source material than Zombie.

I think the movie has some good bits.  All the stuff at the asylum was a good idea, even if the execution was a bit anti-climactic.  It seems like a lot of stuff was sacrificed so the asylum bit could be in there, though.  No explanation on how Michael got to Haddonfield, no explanation on how he gets around Haddonfield.  The deaths seem to happen one right after another, giving the effect that Michael is like everywhere at once.  Look, he's murdering Laurie's parents!  30 seconds later, now he's murdering Laurie's friend!  Now he's murdering the other!  It's like he's omnipotent.

Also, Loomis's behaviour is whacked.  By the time Loomis first contacts the police, it's already dark and Michael has killed a half dozen people.  Loomis, he's been in town for hours, visiting the cemetary, buying a gun, but did he notify the police that the psychopathic killer from 15 years ago is back?  Fuck no! m To McDowell's credit, when he gets manic and crazy, he kinda sounds like Donald Pleasance.

I'll also echo the sentiment that the movie is better when it's doing its own thing.  The deaths and scenes that are direct throwbacks just seem cheesy, like they're corny landmarks or something.

Most of the movie is so middle-of-the-road that I'm surprised it came from Zombie.  It has little of the visual flair of his past two flicks, and to borrow a word from our forum dumbass PD, it's so pedestrian for a horror movie.  It plays just about everything straight, breaks no rules, offers no surprises.

Anyway, I came in wanting a trainwreck, and instead I got a 6/10.  I am disappointed that the movie is not as terrible as I was lead to believe.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: The Fake Shemp on December 20, 2007, 01:35:57 AM
I think it deserves a point, maybe two, lower.  It's just boring.

The best scene in the entire movie...

spoiler (click to show/hide)
... is when young Michael brutally murders the bully from school.
[close]

It was brutal and unflinching, and showed a darkness in Michael that the original only talked about ("He's pure evil!", Pleasance reminds us, but here we see the real deal).  And that's a shame, because it's so early on that the entire movie is downhill from there.  I really don't care for it at all, and it's hard to find much in the way to like about this.  It kind of feels like defiling a corpse.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: Van Cruncheon on December 20, 2007, 01:41:00 AM
is it better than transformers
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: The Fake Shemp on December 20, 2007, 01:42:15 AM
No!

Transformers is my cross to bear, just as giving Ocarina of Time a 98 (or whatever it was) is yours.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: Van Cruncheon on December 20, 2007, 01:44:07 AM
i gave it a 96, -and- i recanted! ocarina is an 80-ish game. i was overwhelmed by bilinear filtering!

now it's your turn!
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: TVC15 on December 20, 2007, 01:45:04 AM
is it better than transformers

I thought it was less boring than Transformers.  Transformers was a fucking terrible, fucking long ass movie.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: brawndolicious on December 20, 2007, 01:46:30 AM
you just compared transformers to a zelda game?  that movie didn't have a single interesting scene.  the transformations were kind of cool the first time but the rest of the movie was shit.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: TVC15 on December 20, 2007, 01:50:27 AM
I would rather watch the Irreversible rape scene on repeat for three hours than to see Transformers again.  Worst movie I have seen in theatres since The Phantom Menace!
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: Ecrofirt on December 20, 2007, 03:19:47 AM
Jesus fuck Willco, I think we get it. Zombie's Halloween comes nowhere near the dingy, cum-stained shrine you've set up for Carpenter's classic in your eyes. How many times are you going to repeat yourself in one topic?

Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: TVC15 on December 20, 2007, 03:25:49 AM
I'm not sure if I've stated my opinion before, but I don't hold the original movie to be some sort of untouchable classic.  It established a genre and did it well.  It's a classic because it's important, but I don't think it's particularly great by universal standards.  Although Loomis owns and the soundtrack owns.  Halloween wouldn't be that close to the top of my favorite Carpenter Movies list.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: The Fake Shemp on December 20, 2007, 03:26:34 AM
Jesus fuck Willco, I think we get it. Zombie's Halloween comes nowhere near the dingy, cum-stained shrine you've set up for Carpenter's classic in your eyes. How many times are you going to repeat yourself in one topic?

AS MANY TIMES AS IT TAKES, ZOMBIE'S REMAKE IS PURE EVIL
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: Phoenix Dark on December 20, 2007, 04:24:38 AM
I don't put much stock in IGN movie reviews, but holy fuck:
http://dvd.ign.com/articles/841/841158p1.html

0/10? I need to see this  :lol
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: Joe Molotov on December 20, 2007, 04:30:52 AM
The only good thing about Halloween 2007 is that John Carpenter got some free money. He deserves it for giving us The Thing.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: TVC15 on December 20, 2007, 04:43:23 AM
It's most certainly not a 0/10.  That makes it sound much more interesting than it actually is.  The only people that would possibly score it like that would be the ultimate Carpenter clithangers.  Zombie's Halloween ain't so hot, but it's not a disaster either.  It's a mediocre, PEDESTRIAN slasher flick with not a whole lot of Zombie flavor.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: Phoenix Dark on December 20, 2007, 04:56:13 AM
I thought you had me on ignore? Your will power is quite pedestrian

When I see a score that bad I can't help but wonder whether the critic was using the score to make a point. Even horrible movies like Pinata and Captivity wouldn't get a 0 from me. Hell, there's plenty to love about Pinata

[youtube=425,350]ihXdM7M7coU[/youtube]
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ihXdM7M7coU
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: Shuri on December 20, 2007, 06:04:59 AM
I felt it was actually superior to the original. Also if you've ever been around girls that age, they do talk to each other like that.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: brawndolicious on December 20, 2007, 06:49:47 AM
usually a 0/10 is a "message" the critic is trying to send since most movie critics are pretentious jack offs that think giving a numerical value for the average shitfuck to decide what to do on his friday nights matters.

take Ebert and his review of the second deuce bigalow movie.  he didn't really review the movie.  he just said that since rob schnyder believed another critic from LA who said the movie sucked had no credibility since that critic apparently didn't have a pulitzer prize, that Ebert would give the movie a 0/5 stars since he does have a pulitzer prize.  that was the whole review.  like I said, every movie critic is a pretentious jack off.  If a movie is bad, I would rather actually still watch it if I was hyped for it so that I can see how the movie was fucked up.  unless it's transformers.  I was hyped for that until I saw shia lebeef and michael bay's name on it.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: Solo on December 20, 2007, 09:04:46 AM
Im glad Whitey came around. 6/10 is pretty much the perfect rating. It fucks a lot of things up, but it does a few things really well. For me, its better than 1000 Corpses, but vastly inferior to the fuckawesome Devil's Rejects.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: Christopher on December 20, 2007, 09:39:09 PM
I felt it was actually superior to the original. Also if you've ever been around girls that age, they do talk to each other like that.


um they do - but certainly not that trashy, espcially what they were trying to portray Laurie as...I had no remorse for her to escape, or get behind her at all.

Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: brandonh83 on February 02, 2008, 12:18:55 AM
The Smith's Grove stuff was pure shit.  That little kid who plays Michael cannot act whatsoever and McDowell wears the worst wig in the history of film as he phones in his performance.  You can literally see him cashing in his check.

Again, the unrated cut. They add some scenes that weren't in the theatrical or the work print. Mainly black and while shots with McDowell voiceovers. It's basically some shots of him standing around in some of the creepier masks that weren't seen in the theatrical. It really adds to the film IMO, because I thought the Smith's Grove sequence was adequate, but lacking.

It's obvious from the casting on the special features that they had better child actors (the kid who played Tommy, while not that much better, kicked Daeg Faerch's ass with his performance in the screen tests) but that Zombie used Faerch because he looks creepier. It's evident that the decision was justified whenever I watched the added VO scenes, with the kid wearing the mask, what direction Zombie took with it and why.

I'm definitely glad they took the grown up Michael Myers dialogue out of it as well, some of the dialogue was used for the actors (Scout-Taylor Compton, specifically) to respond to in the screen tests, and it was utter shit.

I see Zombie's reasoning to use Faerch, but damn, if they would have used the child actor who played Tommy, it would have been a totally different film. They could have used him and made a Norman Batesish type child character, a skinny kid who isn't that intimidating, but could have been believable as a quiet psychopath. Faerch's only good scene was the bathroom scene where he tells the principal "Fuck You." The rest of it I try to forget.

It's by far not a perfect film, but in terms of some of the horror movies I've seen recently, much better than some of the crap Hollywood shits into theatres... mainly because I see some actual decisions and work put into the film. I like the new Halloween, but I'm not about to put it over the Carpenter original. There are some things clicking in it though, and it does succeed on a level.

It's around a 6.5 or 7 IMO.

 :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol your opinions on the internet are much different than they are "IRL." And wrong too, the kid that played Tommy was SHIT as Michael, he had no substance whatsoever in those screen tests. He did much better as Tommy, yes, but Daeg did a fucking good job as young Michael. Of course I'm not a super elitist like the rest of you, I don't really think any child actor has been UTTERLY AMAZING in their roles but I thought Daeg did a really nice job, especially when he asks his mom if everyone at home is okay.

Again,  :lol :lol :lol , I can't tell if you lied to me about what you thought about Halloween, or if you just don't want to have differing opinions on the internet. It's pretty goddamn confusing!

And sorry, Zombie's Halloween had much better acting than the original, maybe sans Donald Pleasance. The girl that played Annie in the original had some pretty ham-fisted deliveries, the girl that played Lynda -- good, but she wasn't exactly best supporting actress material, and Jamie Lee Curtis held her own good enough but it's not like her acting was anything unique or legendary. Of course it's the way the parts are written in the original and the remake, she was a slightly different character in both, but how's that bad? Scout Taylor-Compton brought with her an extreme amount of charm and energy to the role. Jamie Lee's Laurie was much more subdued and laid back -- and while that isn't a bad thing, it isn't exactly fantastic character writing either. Pretty sure most of the Halloween remake hate comes from the original being held on such a ridiculously high pedestal. I think it's fucking great too, the original, but seriously come on.

As for the "white trash" stuff, there isn't much of it, and I think it really just comes down to whether or not you prefer it. I don't think it's "bad." Ronnie, to me, had some pretty hilarious dialogue and he did a good job with it. A lot of it is quotable, if you ask me. And he gets a great death scene, too. Speaking of dialogue, again I don't really see how the original had SOOOO MUCH BETTER lines. In fact I think Zombie wrote better, more energetic dialogue. Just my opinion but I can think of a lot of lines from his Halloween while the only shit I can recall from the original is some of the stuff that Loomis says. In NO WAY am I downplaying the original -- it still has far more subtlety and it's creepier and was a landmark horror film for its time. But I'm not sure how Rob's Halloween was supposed to "top it" in those aspects since the original got said aspects perfectly right. Then you may ask, well, what was the point of a remake? And as a Halloween fan, I can answer that pretty easily -- because Michael Myers and the whole mythology is fucking great and all the sequels were pure ass and didn't do it justice. In my mind, Rob Zombie is the first director to come along and respect what John Carpenter did, and simply made a movie that fleshed out those ideas more, and to me it turned out to be the best slasher film SINCE the original. I've seen so many shitty horror movies in my day, and I cannot say this is one of them, especially compared to such gems as BOOGEYMAN or THE GRUDGE.

Before I get labels from a couple of you, know there ARE things I didn't like about it. Just not many. I didn't like Danny Trejo's death, I think it went on a bit too long with the whole head being dunked into the sinkwater, and unlike Bloodwake I don't think the bathroom scene at the school is all that great, even in the DVD commentary Rob Zombie said that Daeg couldn't restrain himself from laughing because he got to say "Fuck you" for the camera a number of times and I think this rather hurts the scene because you can tell he's trying not to laugh. Also, not all the dialogue is great, but I still think it has better dialogue than the original. So yes, I have problems with it but I just don't think it's the mess that everyone claims it is, not even fucking close.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: Bloodwake on February 02, 2008, 05:51:08 PM
Jesus Christ dude. Uh, no, my opinions are basically the same.

There's two fucking ways to cast Michael Myers. Make the kid like Norman Bates (Tommy) or make the kid huge and intimidating (Daeg Faerch). Honestly, for me it's just personal preference. My fucking favorite movie is Taxi Driver for fuck's sake.

I like Travis Bickle/Norman Bates/weak looking psychopath characters because I'M a weak looking guy. No one expect ME to go crazy and kill people, and that's the point. It's unexpected.

The thing about child actors is that they all fucking suck. Not all of them can be Dakota Fanning or Haley Joel Osment. And as for everything else, I pretty much stand by it. It's not a perfect film, but there really isn't a fucking perfect film out there. I enjoyed it, it was amusing, but I can see how the white trash shit can get on people's nerves. If I didn't have to deal with white trash on a daily basis I wouldn't be able to laugh at it. I may be annoyed. Fuck, in real life, I AM annoyed. It's one of the reasons I hate this fucking state.

Damn, it's just a fucking movie.

And, as I told you WHILE WE FUCKING WATCHED THE UNRATED DVD, I thought the Smith's Grove sequences were much more fleshed out with the additions, making them better. Guess that's a change in opinion too.

Jesus Christ.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: brandonh83 on February 02, 2008, 08:29:05 PM
I think my post came off more harshly than I intended, plus I was kinda drunk last night (though what I said wasn't fueled by the vodka). So sorry about that, I wasn't exactly trying to "call you out" or anything. Just seemed like you liked the movie a lot more than you let on.

And yeah I just found the dialogue amusing and I love William Forsythe. And like I said, I didn't think there was much of the white trash material to begin with, it's literally about... 10 minutes out of a nearly 2 hour movie.
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: Mupepe on February 02, 2008, 08:34:47 PM
Jesus fuck Willco, I think we get it. Zombie's Halloween comes nowhere near the dingy, cum-stained shrine you've set up for Carpenter's classic in your eyes. How many times are you going to repeat yourself in one topic?

AS MANY TIMES AS IT TAKES, ZOMBIE'S REMAKE IS PURE EVIL
QFT

This cannot be said enough.  The movie is an abomination.  And I'm fucking forgiving when it comes to movies...


... I owned Transformers on HD DVD
Title: Re: Oh Jesus Fuck, Rob Zombie's Halloween is. . .
Post by: T234 on February 02, 2008, 08:51:26 PM
Woah shit @ the hostility in this thead. I haven't seen this much Kentuckian-on-Kentuckian hate since the time my cousin almost blew my friend's head off at my fireworks show years ago.

Y'all hug that shit out!
spoiler (click to show/hide)
Is that legal down there?
[close]

And you guys ain't seen white trash until you go the Wal-Mart in Mt. Sterling on a Friday night.

I-64 CORRIDOR REPRESENT

Brandon, check yer PMs here shortly.