THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: Bloodwake on January 01, 2008, 03:14:53 PM

Title: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: Bloodwake on January 01, 2008, 03:14:53 PM: First of all guys, happy fucking new year.

Second of all, I proved that liking movies such as Order of the Phoenix and Unforgiven does actually end with some fruit, or vagina if you like that term. I got laid last night for the first time, fulfilling my new year's resolution ALREADY.

I guess I don't have a virgin card anymore, but I wanted to point out that I have good taste in film, unlike some of our other unfortunate forum surfers. Coincidence? I think not.

Get better taste in movies, it might help you achieve some sex. Just a thought.
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: Powerslave on January 01, 2008, 03:16:11 PM: Having a good taste in movies gets you laid folks.
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: Van Cruncheon on January 01, 2008, 03:18:59 PM: :bow :bow :bow
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: Madrun Badrun on January 01, 2008, 03:20:52 PM: Ya I guess it would be easy to get laid if you look like Cloud.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
I'm jelious
[close]
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: demi on January 01, 2008, 03:21:36 PM: it also helps that you are white
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: Bloodwake on January 01, 2008, 03:26:11 PM: (http://www.evilbore.com/images/unforgiven.jpg)

I mean, this preferred cut of Unforgiven has "DON'T FUCK ME" all over it.

And, in addition to that, it's pretty much common knowledge that a LOT of girls like the Potter films. Whoops.
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: Junpei the Tracer! on January 01, 2008, 03:27:37 PM: Are you trying to say Harry Potter got you laid?
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: Madrun Badrun on January 01, 2008, 03:29:22 PM: Quote from: Junpei the Tracer! on January 01, 2008, 03:27:37 PM
Are you trying to say Harry Potter got you laid?

Yes. 12 year olds in the theater washroom are the best prey.
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: Phoenix Dark on January 01, 2008, 03:29:59 PM: Women have HORRIBLE taste in movies, so if anything you just got a pity fuck

spoiler (click to show/hide)
Details omg :-*
[close]
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: demi on January 01, 2008, 03:31:05 PM: she probably pretended she was riding Daniel Radcliffe, after seeing his Equus shots
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: Bloodwake on January 01, 2008, 03:34:00 PM: Details later, I'm in a public place, well, at least a place where most of the people involved are present. I will wait a few until they go upstairs.

I'm in a cabin in Pigeon Forge, TN, up in the mountains, with some friends and acquaintances of mine. Liquor is flowing like milk and honey, and I've had a massive amount of fine beer and mixed drinks over the past two days. I will let you ponder on that until a little later.
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: Mupepe on January 01, 2008, 03:37:07 PM: Pigeon Forge :bow :bow :bow

Dollywood :lol :lol :lol

I used to live in Morristown :)
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: Bloodwake on January 01, 2008, 03:51:46 PM: Quote from: Mupepe on January 01, 2008, 03:37:07 PM
Pigeon Forge :bow :bow :bow

Dollywood :lol :lol :lol

I used to live in Morristown :)

Yeah, this is one of my favorite vacation spots. The view is AMAZING from the cabin, and listen to this shit:

DLP projector capable of 1080p resolution w/ 360 and Direct TV HD receiver on a 100" screen in the basement. Oh yeah, it also has surround sound capable of Dolby Digital EX and DTS EX (5.1 only though :() hooked up to that bitch.

Westinghouse 32" HD screens with Direct TV HD receiver in almost every room. (currently using one of these hooked up to a PC to make this post. The PC has wireless keyboard/mouse via Bluetooth)

A fucking hot tub. I'll let you think about this one for a while. Nudity occured last evening. Lots of lots of lots of lots of lots of nudity.

So yeah, this place is decked the fuck out. Plus, lots of liquor and beer. Like, more beer I have seen in my life in one place. And no Natty Fucking Piss Tasting Shit Light either.

I've died and gone to heaven.
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: T234 on January 01, 2008, 04:22:45 PM: Bloodwake gets laid.

I hope you didn't drink too much liquor, or else you would have fallen asleep during the deed.

What sort of liquor do y'all have down there? Up here, I've been drinkin moonshine and playing WOW like a motherfucker.
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: Joe Molotov on January 01, 2008, 04:29:05 PM: Quote from: Bloodwake on January 01, 2008, 03:34:00 PM
Details later, I'm in a public place, well, at least a place where most of the people involved are present. I will wait a few until they go upstairs.

Did somebody say ORGY!?! Caligula would be proud.
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: T234 on January 01, 2008, 04:36:14 PM: Quote from: Joe Molotov on January 01, 2008, 04:29:05 PM
Quote from: Bloodwake on January 01, 2008, 03:34:00 PM
Details later, I'm in a public place, well, at least a place where most of the people involved are present. I will wait a few until they go upstairs.

Did somebody say ORGY!?! Caligula would be proud.
So was Mumbles McGee wearing green?
spoiler (click to show/hide)
(http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e378/T-234/randomemofhutaloveorgy.jpg)
[close]
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: Mupepe on January 01, 2008, 05:06:34 PM: Quote from: Bloodwake on January 01, 2008, 03:51:46 PM
Quote from: Mupepe on January 01, 2008, 03:37:07 PM
Pigeon Forge :bow :bow :bow

Dollywood :lol :lol :lol

I used to live in Morristown :)

Yeah, this is one of my favorite vacation spots. The view is AMAZING from the cabin, and listen to this shit:

DLP projector capable of 1080p resolution w/ 360 and Direct TV HD receiver on a 100" screen in the basement. Oh yeah, it also has surround sound capable of Dolby Digital EX and DTS EX (5.1 only though :() hooked up to that bitch.

Westinghouse 32" HD screens with Direct TV HD receiver in almost every room. (currently using one of these hooked up to a PC to make this post. The PC has wireless keyboard/mouse via Bluetooth)

A fucking hot tub. I'll let you think about this one for a while. Nudity occured last evening. Lots of lots of lots of lots of lots of nudity.

So yeah, this place is decked the fuck out. Plus, lots of liquor and beer. Like, more beer I have seen in my life in one place. And no Natty Fucking Piss Tasting Shit Light either.

I've died and gone to heaven.

GODDAMN! no wonder you got laid!

Bloodwake :bow :bow :bow
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: The Fake Shemp on January 01, 2008, 05:18:25 PM: Good taste in movies has been scientifically linked to getting "some". And by "some", I mean vagina.
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: T234 on January 01, 2008, 05:20:25 PM: That reminds me, is chrystalgemini still on the market?
spoiler (click to show/hide)
Yes, I realize I'm a douchebag.
[close]
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: Gay Boy on January 01, 2008, 05:23:17 PM: I realized today I own more romantic comedies than I do action movies. lol
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: The Fake Shemp on January 01, 2008, 05:29:54 PM: Quote from: T234 on January 01, 2008, 05:20:25 PM
That reminds me, is chrystalgemini still on the market?

Go for it. :lol
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: demi on January 01, 2008, 05:31:19 PM: Quote from: Gay Boy on January 01, 2008, 05:23:17 PM
I realized today I own more romantic comedies than I do action movies. lol

You're also gay, so who cares, you don't have to try
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on January 01, 2008, 05:56:18 PM: I don't even watch movies.
I listen to 20th-c. classical music though, but I don't think it's helped my sex life. I'd ask TVC if it's had any effect on his but he's not returning my calls anymore.
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: Madrun Badrun on January 01, 2008, 05:58:49 PM: Quote from: recursivelyenumerable on January 01, 2008, 05:56:18 PM
I don't even watch movies.
I listen to 20th-c. classical music though

could you recommend some names for me to look up?
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on January 01, 2008, 06:29:16 PM: Bartok, Berg, Schoenberg, Shostakovich
or Poulenc and Prokofiev for less modernist stuff.

Bartok's string quartets are a 10/10, where Lunar Knights is an 8.2/10, Yoshi's Island DS and Phantom Hourglass are a 7.5/10 and my sexual experiences to date are an 8.8/10
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: Mandark on January 01, 2008, 08:18:24 PM: Quote from: Willco on January 01, 2008, 05:18:25 PM
Good taste in movies has been scientifically linked to getting "some". And by "some", I mean vagina.

*looks up Transformers thread and compares timelines*
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: The Fake Shemp on January 01, 2008, 09:16:38 PM: :lol
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: Madrun Badrun on January 01, 2008, 09:19:34 PM: Quote from: recursivelyenumerable on January 01, 2008, 06:29:16 PM
Bartok, Berg, Schoenberg, Shostakovich
or Poulenc and Prokofiev for less modernist stuff.

Thanks.
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: Bloodwake on January 02, 2008, 03:26:39 PM: So, here's some details, now that I'm secluded (for the most part):

On the 31st, everyone in the house starts drinking at around 9, in preparation for the new year. There are four guys and at the time five girls (some of the girls had a friend come up for new year's). Some of us get in the hot tub clothed and watch Superbad on the TV right inside the door. I proceed to get completely drunk. 12 rolls around, and I'm running all over the house screaming "Happy New Year Mother Fuckers!", still with my swimming trunks on. I sober up slightly, and one of the guys goes to bed. His loss.

This, my friends, is where the story really begins.

So, (and I don't remember how) all of a sudden, while some of the people are downstairs near the hot tub, two of the girls take their tops off and get in the hot tub. At this point, I was starting to sober up, and I was questioning if I should get naked and join them. They invited me, so I decided I would. We probably sat in there for about two hours. At one point, this one really attractive girl decided that she would test how long she could stay underwater. This wasn't a great idea. I ended up grabbing her around the waist, saying something like "I'm not intentionally trying to grab your tits but you are going to drown" :lol

So, this girl eventually gets out, and one of the guys and another one of the girls decide to join us in the hot tub. At this point, the girl that has been in here the longest suggests that me and the new arrival make out, because, fuck, it's fucking new years. That rapidly changes into a thirty minute make out session of epic proportions. Lots of fingering and stroking. At this point, we get out and go fuck on the couch. The only down side is that the guy who went to bed first decided to come out of his bedroom while we were fucking. That basically ended it, but we were fucking for like 15-20 minutes at that point, so it wasn't a big deal.

All in all, a good evening.
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: Mupepe on January 02, 2008, 03:30:37 PM: :bow :bow
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: T234 on January 02, 2008, 03:31:01 PM: So are you slightly less spastic than you were three days ago?

Also, tell brandon I'm soon to be in the possession of a pandora battery and magic stick if he wants a hacked PSP. And I'll do it fer free if he'll finance my gas down to the dry country.
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: The Fake Shemp on January 02, 2008, 03:31:28 PM: You should've continued to bang that chick and pointed and winked at the guy trying to interrupt your hot, New Year's session. Someone get that Patrick Bateman .gif!
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: Powerslave on January 02, 2008, 03:31:55 PM: You lasted that long? I thought virgins came within 30 seconds..
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: Mupepe on January 02, 2008, 03:35:55 PM: Quote from: Powerslave on January 02, 2008, 03:31:55 PM
You lasted that long? I thought virgins came within 30 seconds..
it's called whiskey dick
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: demi on January 02, 2008, 03:39:09 PM: i hope you used a condom young man :wag

i won't pay any taxes on your bastard children
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: demi on January 02, 2008, 03:44:13 PM: and you didnt even cum, i think that means you are still a virgin

even the 40 year old virgin came when he fucked his first puss, you didnt! still a virgin!
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: drew on January 02, 2008, 03:45:20 PM: Quote from: Powerslave on January 02, 2008, 03:31:55 PM
You lasted that long? I thought virgins came within 30 seconds..

I was good for 5 minutes the first time...which isn't a big deal. You're supposed to eat her out until your ready to go at it again, first impressions are important.
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: Bloodwake on January 02, 2008, 03:48:26 PM: Whiskey Dick FTW.
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: Mupepe on January 02, 2008, 03:49:48 PM: Quote from: Drewsy on January 02, 2008, 03:45:20 PM
Quote from: Powerslave on January 02, 2008, 03:31:55 PM
You lasted that long? I thought virgins came within 30 seconds..

I was good for 5 minutes the first time...which isn't a big deal. You're supposed to eat her out until your ready to go at it again, first impressions are important.
This is how you do it. :bow

Quote from: Genghis Cohen on January 02, 2008, 03:40:53 PM
Quote from: Mupepe on January 02, 2008, 03:35:55 PM
Quote from: Powerslave on January 02, 2008, 03:31:55 PM
You lasted that long? I thought virgins came within 30 seconds..
it's called whiskey dick
:bow :bow :bow
Whisky dick is god's gift to virgins everywhere.
It didn't work for me. Although I was drinking Everclear and I was past the "controllable drunk" stage. I nutted after about 2 and a half pumps
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: Powerslave on January 02, 2008, 03:52:13 PM: So I eat the vajayjay before I mount it?

*makes notes*
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: Mupepe on January 02, 2008, 04:11:01 PM: :rock
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: demi on January 02, 2008, 04:11:58 PM: Quote from: Powerslave on January 02, 2008, 03:52:13 PM
So I eat the vajayjay before I mount it?

*makes notes*

with no idea where to even start, it is not recommended, you'll look like a big dork
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: Powerslave on January 02, 2008, 04:14:10 PM: how would you know, I thought you were a virgin
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: demi on January 02, 2008, 04:15:21 PM: i watched american pie and 40 year old virgin dood
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: Phoenix Dark on January 02, 2008, 04:16:45 PM: :bow :bow :bow :bow :bow

How were you taking her? Did you mount her from behind, or did she mount you?

spoiler (click to show/hide)
Too much GRR Martin :'( :'( :'(
[close]
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: Mupepe on January 02, 2008, 04:17:05 PM: It's hard to be good at eating pussy, but it's even harder to suck at eating pussy.
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: demi on January 02, 2008, 04:18:11 PM: listen man, you're a virgin, it's fine to be awkward and have not a fuck clue what to do, who cares at this point, she's willing to let you slide that meatstick in her slit - just jab it in and go for the goal, worry about the boring parts of sex like oral later
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: Mupepe on January 02, 2008, 04:21:25 PM: oral isn't that boring. let me show you, demi
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: Powerslave on January 02, 2008, 04:21:28 PM: Quote from: Mupepe on January 02, 2008, 04:17:05 PM
It's hard to be good at eating pussy, but it's even harder to suck at eating pussy.

I imagine myself being a pretty good pussy eater. I would do it slow and with pace and rhythm. Not furiously rotating my tongue around like a thirsty dog.
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: Phoenix Dark on January 02, 2008, 04:22:21 PM: The slower you thrust=the longer you last correct? I think I can do this
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: demi on January 02, 2008, 04:23:07 PM: Quote from: Mupepe on January 02, 2008, 04:21:25 PM
oral isn't that boring. let me show you, demi

i've seen plenty of porn to determine it is pretty boring

*click fast forward, see thrusting, press play*
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: cubicle47b on January 02, 2008, 04:24:18 PM: I live in Johnson City, TN. I can't believe Mups lived in Morristown.
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: Mupepe on January 02, 2008, 04:28:12 PM: Quote from: cubicle47b on January 02, 2008, 04:24:18 PM
I live in Johnson City, TN. I can't believe Mups lived in Morristown.
:o

2 years. Granmammy still lives there.
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: cubicle47b on January 02, 2008, 04:31:00 PM: If you visit let me know and we'll go out and get wasted.
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: Powerslave on January 02, 2008, 04:31:57 PM: Quote from: demi on January 02, 2008, 04:23:07 PM
Quote from: Mupepe on January 02, 2008, 04:21:25 PM
oral isn't that boring. let me show you, demi

i've seen plenty of porn to determine it is pretty boring

*click fast forward, see thrusting, press play*

the problem with eat-out scenes is that it doesnt look like they're enjoying it. They stick their tongue out like a kid would do when he sticks out his tongue at you, and start licking like idiots (lol not the kid).
They should munch that pussy out and and kiss it and stuff. Ya I got a pretty vivid fantasy about these stuff.
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: Powerslave on January 02, 2008, 04:46:15 PM: [youtube=425,350]wWSyCShhckY[/youtube]

I would fuck the shit out of this chick.
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: The Fake Shemp on January 02, 2008, 04:48:54 PM: Setting the bar low, eh?
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: Mupepe on January 02, 2008, 04:50:09 PM: Quote from: cubicle47b on January 02, 2008, 04:31:00 PM
If you visit let me know and we'll go out and get wasted.
Probably won't happen anytime soon. My granmammy isn't too fond of me :'(
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: demi on January 02, 2008, 04:50:15 PM: she has aids
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: Phoenix Dark on January 02, 2008, 05:15:03 PM: She looks like she has three kids and a husband with a 20 year old secretary
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: Mupepe on January 02, 2008, 05:31:27 PM: Quote from: Forgotten Ancient on January 02, 2008, 05:29:22 PM
Quote from: demi on January 02, 2008, 04:18:11 PM
listen man, you're a virgin, it's fine to be awkward and have not a fuck clue what to do, who cares at this point, she's willing to let you slide that meatstick in her slit - just jab it in and go for the goal, worry about the boring parts of sex like oral later

Oral's boring? If in a pinch and you just wanna get your nut off, I agree it's best just thrust, nut, and run - but if you've got time, burying your face is her box is awesome. It not only assures that you're gonna get some real good head later on, but it also makes her really wet and horny for when you start tearing down her vag walls with your battering ram.
:bow :bow :bow
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: demi on January 02, 2008, 05:33:50 PM: i said worry about it LATER, right NOW you'er just living the american dream with awkward virgin sex
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: TVC15 on January 02, 2008, 05:53:58 PM: Demi doesn't know what he's talking about. Going for 15 minutes and NOT cumming on your first time is more impressive than cumming.
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: FatalT on January 02, 2008, 06:09:04 PM: Quote from: Powerslave on January 02, 2008, 04:46:15 PM
I would fuck the shit out of this chick.

(http://i10.tinypic.com/6kj3bjc.gif)

Dude, what the hell did I just watch?
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: Mupepe on January 02, 2008, 06:43:44 PM: Quote from: Powerslave on January 02, 2008, 04:46:15 PM
[youtube=425,350]wWSyCShhckY[/youtube]

I would fuck the shit out of this chick.
i just got home and was able to watch that. WTF, DUDE!?
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: T234 on January 02, 2008, 06:49:22 PM: yeah WTF

spoiler (click to show/hide)
I would most certainly hit it.
[close]
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: Yeti on January 02, 2008, 08:09:57 PM: Quote from: Powerslave on January 02, 2008, 04:31:57 PM
Quote from: demi on January 02, 2008, 04:23:07 PM
Quote from: Mupepe on January 02, 2008, 04:21:25 PM
oral isn't that boring. let me show you, demi

i've seen plenty of porn to determine it is pretty boring

*click fast forward, see thrusting, press play*

the problem with eat-out scenes is that it doesnt look like they're enjoying it. They stick their tongue out like a kid would do when he sticks out his tongue at you, and start licking like idiots (lol not the kid).
They should munch that pussy out and and kiss it and stuff. Ya I got a pretty vivid fantasy about these stuff.

You seem to have given it a lot of thought.
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: Powerslave on January 02, 2008, 08:23:16 PM: I did.
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: Ichirou on January 02, 2008, 08:30:50 PM: Quote from: Powerslave on January 02, 2008, 04:46:15 PM
[youtube=425,350]wWSyCShhckY[/youtube]

I would fuck the shit out of this chick.

...crazy is hot.
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: Yeti on January 02, 2008, 08:37:43 PM: Her cheekbones are scary though. :(
Title: Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
Post by: Bloodwake on January 03, 2008, 09:07:47 AM: Definitely not the sorta crazy I like.