Author Topic: PD, Here's some advice for you.  (Read 5055 times)

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Bloodwake

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PD, Here's some advice for you.
« on: January 01, 2008, 03:14:53 PM »
First of all guys, happy fucking new year.

Second of all, I proved that liking movies such as Order of the Phoenix and Unforgiven does actually end with some fruit, or vagina if you like that term. I got laid last night for the first time, fulfilling my new year's resolution ALREADY.

I guess I don't have a virgin card anymore, but I wanted to point out that I have good taste in film, unlike some of our other unfortunate forum surfers. Coincidence? I think not.

Get better taste in movies, it might help you achieve some sex. Just a thought.
HLR

Powerslave

  • Senior Member
Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #1 on: January 01, 2008, 03:16:11 PM »
Having a good taste in movies gets you laid folks.

Van Cruncheon

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Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #2 on: January 01, 2008, 03:18:59 PM »
:bow :bow :bow
duc

Madrun Badrun

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Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #3 on: January 01, 2008, 03:20:52 PM »
Ya I guess it would be easy to get laid if you look like Cloud.

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I'm jelious
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demi

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Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #4 on: January 01, 2008, 03:21:36 PM »
it also helps that you are white
fat

Bloodwake

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Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #5 on: January 01, 2008, 03:26:11 PM »


I mean, this preferred cut of Unforgiven has "DON'T FUCK ME" all over it.

And, in addition to that, it's pretty much common knowledge that a LOT of girls like the Potter films. Whoops.
HLR

Junpei the Tracer!

  • I started with Nightbright and ended with Comics
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Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #6 on: January 01, 2008, 03:27:37 PM »
Are you trying to say Harry Potter got you laid?
Boo

Madrun Badrun

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Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #7 on: January 01, 2008, 03:29:22 PM »
Are you trying to say Harry Potter got you laid?

Yes.  12 year olds in the theater washroom are the best prey. 

Phoenix Dark

  • I got no game it's just some bitches understand my story
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Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #8 on: January 01, 2008, 03:29:59 PM »
Women have HORRIBLE taste in movies, so if anything you just got a pity fuck




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Details omg  :-*
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demi

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Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #9 on: January 01, 2008, 03:31:05 PM »
she probably pretended she was riding Daniel Radcliffe, after seeing his Equus shots
fat

Bloodwake

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Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #10 on: January 01, 2008, 03:34:00 PM »
Details later, I'm in a public place, well, at least a place where most of the people involved are present. I will wait a few until they go upstairs.

I'm in a cabin in Pigeon Forge, TN, up in the mountains, with some friends and acquaintances of mine. Liquor is flowing like milk and honey, and I've had a massive amount of fine beer and mixed drinks over the past two days. I will let you ponder on that until a little later.
HLR

Mupepe

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Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #11 on: January 01, 2008, 03:37:07 PM »
Pigeon Forge :bow :bow :bow

Dollywood :lol :lol :lol

I used to live in Morristown :)

Bloodwake

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Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #12 on: January 01, 2008, 03:51:46 PM »
Pigeon Forge :bow :bow :bow

Dollywood :lol :lol :lol

I used to live in Morristown :)

Yeah, this is one of my favorite vacation spots. The view is AMAZING from the cabin, and listen to this shit:

DLP projector capable of 1080p resolution w/ 360 and Direct TV HD receiver on a 100" screen in the basement. Oh yeah, it also has surround sound capable of Dolby Digital EX and DTS EX (5.1 only though :() hooked up to that bitch.

Westinghouse 32" HD screens with Direct TV HD receiver in almost every room. (currently using one of these hooked up to a PC to make this post. The PC has wireless keyboard/mouse via Bluetooth)

A fucking hot tub. I'll let you think about this one for a while. Nudity occured last evening. Lots of lots of lots of lots of lots of nudity.

So yeah, this place is decked the fuck out. Plus, lots of liquor and beer. Like, more beer I have seen in my life in one place. And no Natty Fucking Piss Tasting Shit Light either.

I've died and gone to heaven.

HLR

T234

  • Canadian Legal Expert and Hillballer
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Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #13 on: January 01, 2008, 04:22:45 PM »
Bloodwake gets laid.

I hope you didn't drink too much liquor, or else you would have fallen asleep during the deed.

What sort of liquor do y'all have down there? Up here, I've been drinkin moonshine and playing WOW like a motherfucker. 
UK

Joe Molotov

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Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #14 on: January 01, 2008, 04:29:05 PM »
Details later, I'm in a public place, well, at least a place where most of the people involved are present. I will wait a few until they go upstairs.

Did somebody say ORGY!?! Caligula would be proud.
©@©™

T234

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Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #15 on: January 01, 2008, 04:36:14 PM »
Details later, I'm in a public place, well, at least a place where most of the people involved are present. I will wait a few until they go upstairs.

Did somebody say ORGY!?! Caligula would be proud.
So was Mumbles McGee wearing green?
spoiler (click to show/hide)
[close]
UK

Mupepe

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Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #16 on: January 01, 2008, 05:06:34 PM »
Pigeon Forge :bow :bow :bow

Dollywood :lol :lol :lol

I used to live in Morristown :)

Yeah, this is one of my favorite vacation spots. The view is AMAZING from the cabin, and listen to this shit:

DLP projector capable of 1080p resolution w/ 360 and Direct TV HD receiver on a 100" screen in the basement. Oh yeah, it also has surround sound capable of Dolby Digital EX and DTS EX (5.1 only though :() hooked up to that bitch.

Westinghouse 32" HD screens with Direct TV HD receiver in almost every room. (currently using one of these hooked up to a PC to make this post. The PC has wireless keyboard/mouse via Bluetooth)

A fucking hot tub. I'll let you think about this one for a while. Nudity occured last evening. Lots of lots of lots of lots of lots of nudity.

So yeah, this place is decked the fuck out. Plus, lots of liquor and beer. Like, more beer I have seen in my life in one place. And no Natty Fucking Piss Tasting Shit Light either.

I've died and gone to heaven.


GODDAMN!  no wonder you got laid! 

Bloodwake :bow :bow :bow

The Fake Shemp

  • Ebola Carrier
Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #17 on: January 01, 2008, 05:18:25 PM »
Good taste in movies has been scientifically linked to getting "some".  And by "some", I mean vagina.
PSP

T234

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Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #18 on: January 01, 2008, 05:20:25 PM »
That reminds me, is chrystalgemini still on the market?
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Yes, I realize I'm a douchebag.
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UK

Gay Boy

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Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #19 on: January 01, 2008, 05:23:17 PM »
I realized today I own more romantic comedies than I do action movies. lol
hib

The Fake Shemp

  • Ebola Carrier
Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #20 on: January 01, 2008, 05:29:54 PM »
That reminds me, is chrystalgemini still on the market?

Go for it. :lol
PSP

demi

  • cooler than willco
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Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #21 on: January 01, 2008, 05:31:19 PM »
I realized today I own more romantic comedies than I do action movies. lol

You're also gay, so who cares, you don't have to try
fat

recursivelyenumerable

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Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #22 on: January 01, 2008, 05:56:18 PM »
I don't even watch movies.
I listen to 20th-c. classical music though, but I don't think it's helped my sex life.  I'd ask TVC if it's had any effect on his but he's not returning my calls anymore.
QED

Madrun Badrun

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Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #23 on: January 01, 2008, 05:58:49 PM »
I don't even watch movies.
I listen to 20th-c. classical music though

could you recommend some names for me to look up? 

recursivelyenumerable

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Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #24 on: January 01, 2008, 06:29:16 PM »
Bartok, Berg, Schoenberg, Shostakovich
or Poulenc and Prokofiev for less modernist stuff.

Bartok's string quartets are a 10/10, where Lunar Knights is an 8.2/10, Yoshi's Island DS and Phantom Hourglass are a 7.5/10 and my sexual experiences to date are an 8.8/10
QED

Mandark

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Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #25 on: January 01, 2008, 08:18:24 PM »
Good taste in movies has been scientifically linked to getting "some".  And by "some", I mean vagina.

*looks up Transformers thread and compares timelines*

The Fake Shemp

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Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #26 on: January 01, 2008, 09:16:38 PM »
 :lol
PSP

Madrun Badrun

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Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #27 on: January 01, 2008, 09:19:34 PM »
Bartok, Berg, Schoenberg, Shostakovich
or Poulenc and Prokofiev for less modernist stuff.


Thanks.

Bloodwake

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  • Senior Member
Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #28 on: January 02, 2008, 03:26:39 PM »
So, here's some details, now that I'm secluded (for the most part):

On the 31st, everyone in the house starts drinking at around 9, in preparation for the new year. There are four guys and at the time five girls (some of the girls had a friend come up for new year's). Some of us get in the hot tub clothed and watch Superbad on the TV right inside the door. I proceed to get completely drunk. 12 rolls around, and I'm running all over the house screaming "Happy New Year Mother Fuckers!", still with my swimming trunks on. I sober up slightly, and one of the guys goes to bed. His loss.

This, my friends, is where the story really begins.

So, (and I don't remember how) all of a sudden, while some of the people are downstairs near the hot tub, two of the girls take their tops off and get in the hot tub. At this point, I was starting to sober up, and I was questioning if I should get naked and join them. They invited me, so I decided I would. We probably sat in there for about two hours. At one point, this one really attractive girl decided that she would test how long she could stay underwater. This wasn't a great idea. I ended up grabbing her around the waist, saying something like "I'm not intentionally trying to grab your tits but you are going to drown"  :lol

So, this girl eventually gets out, and one of the guys and another one of the girls decide to join us in the hot tub. At this point, the girl that has been in here the longest suggests that me and the new arrival make out, because, fuck, it's fucking new years. That rapidly changes into a thirty minute make out session of epic proportions. Lots of fingering and stroking. At this point, we get out and go fuck on the couch. The only down side is that the guy who went to bed first decided to come out of his bedroom while we were fucking. That basically ended it, but we were fucking for like 15-20 minutes at that point, so it wasn't a big deal.

All in all, a good evening.
HLR

Mupepe

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Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #29 on: January 02, 2008, 03:30:37 PM »
:bow :bow

T234

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Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #30 on: January 02, 2008, 03:31:01 PM »
So are you slightly less spastic than you were three days ago?

Also, tell brandon I'm soon to be in the possession of a pandora battery and magic stick if he wants a hacked PSP. And I'll do it fer free if he'll finance my gas down to the dry country.
UK

The Fake Shemp

  • Ebola Carrier
Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #31 on: January 02, 2008, 03:31:28 PM »
You should've continued to bang that chick and pointed and winked at the guy trying to interrupt your hot, New Year's session.  Someone get that Patrick Bateman .gif!
PSP

Powerslave

  • Senior Member
Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #32 on: January 02, 2008, 03:31:55 PM »
You lasted that long? I thought virgins came within 30 seconds..

Mupepe

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Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #33 on: January 02, 2008, 03:35:55 PM »
You lasted that long? I thought virgins came within 30 seconds..
it's called whiskey dick

demi

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Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #34 on: January 02, 2008, 03:39:09 PM »
i hope you used a condom young man :wag

i won't pay any taxes on your bastard children
fat

demi

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Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #35 on: January 02, 2008, 03:44:13 PM »
and you didnt even cum, i think that means you are still a virgin

even the 40 year old virgin came when he fucked his first puss, you didnt! still a virgin!
fat

drew

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Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #36 on: January 02, 2008, 03:45:20 PM »
You lasted that long? I thought virgins came within 30 seconds..

I was good for 5 minutes the first time...which isn't a big deal.  You're supposed to eat her out until your ready to go at it again, first impressions are important.

Bloodwake

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Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #37 on: January 02, 2008, 03:48:26 PM »
Whiskey Dick FTW.
HLR

Mupepe

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Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #38 on: January 02, 2008, 03:49:48 PM »
You lasted that long? I thought virgins came within 30 seconds..

I was good for 5 minutes the first time...which isn't a big deal.  You're supposed to eat her out until your ready to go at it again, first impressions are important.
This is how you do it.  :bow

You lasted that long? I thought virgins came within 30 seconds..
it's called whiskey dick
:bow :bow :bow
Whisky dick is god's gift to virgins everywhere.
It didn't work for me.  Although I was drinking Everclear and I was past the "controllable drunk" stage.  I nutted after about 2 and a half pumps

Powerslave

  • Senior Member
Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #39 on: January 02, 2008, 03:52:13 PM »
So I eat the vajayjay before I mount it?

*makes notes*

Mupepe

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Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #40 on: January 02, 2008, 04:11:01 PM »
:rock

demi

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Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #41 on: January 02, 2008, 04:11:58 PM »
So I eat the vajayjay before I mount it?

*makes notes*

with no idea where to even start, it is not recommended, you'll look like a big dork
fat

Powerslave

  • Senior Member
Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #42 on: January 02, 2008, 04:14:10 PM »
how would you know, I thought you were a virgin

demi

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Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #43 on: January 02, 2008, 04:15:21 PM »
i watched american pie and 40 year old virgin dood
fat

Phoenix Dark

  • I got no game it's just some bitches understand my story
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Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #44 on: January 02, 2008, 04:16:45 PM »
:bow :bow :bow :bow :bow

How were you taking her? Did you mount her from behind, or did she mount you?





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Mupepe

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Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #45 on: January 02, 2008, 04:17:05 PM »
It's hard to be good at eating pussy, but it's even harder to suck at eating pussy.

demi

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Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #46 on: January 02, 2008, 04:18:11 PM »
listen man, you're a virgin, it's fine to be awkward and have not a fuck clue what to do, who cares at this point, she's willing to let you slide that meatstick in her slit - just jab it in and go for the goal, worry about the boring parts of sex like oral later
fat

Mupepe

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Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #47 on: January 02, 2008, 04:21:25 PM »
oral isn't that boring.  let me show you, demi

Powerslave

  • Senior Member
Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #48 on: January 02, 2008, 04:21:28 PM »
It's hard to be good at eating pussy, but it's even harder to suck at eating pussy.

I imagine myself being a pretty good pussy eater. I would do it slow and with pace and rhythm. Not furiously rotating my tongue around like a thirsty dog.

Phoenix Dark

  • I got no game it's just some bitches understand my story
  • Senior Member
Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #49 on: January 02, 2008, 04:22:21 PM »
The slower you thrust=the longer you last correct? I think I can do this
010

demi

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Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #50 on: January 02, 2008, 04:23:07 PM »
oral isn't that boring.  let me show you, demi

i've seen plenty of porn to determine it is pretty boring

*click fast forward, see thrusting, press play*
fat

cubicle47b

  • Member
Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #51 on: January 02, 2008, 04:24:18 PM »
I live in Johnson City, TN.  I can't believe Mups lived in Morristown.

Mupepe

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Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #52 on: January 02, 2008, 04:28:12 PM »
I live in Johnson City, TN.  I can't believe Mups lived in Morristown.
:o

2 years.  Granmammy still lives there.

cubicle47b

  • Member
Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #53 on: January 02, 2008, 04:31:00 PM »
If you visit let me know and we'll go out and get wasted.

Powerslave

  • Senior Member
Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #54 on: January 02, 2008, 04:31:57 PM »
oral isn't that boring.  let me show you, demi

i've seen plenty of porn to determine it is pretty boring

*click fast forward, see thrusting, press play*

the problem with eat-out scenes is that it doesnt look like they're enjoying it. They stick their tongue out like a kid would do when he sticks out his tongue at you, and start licking like idiots (lol not the kid).
They should munch that pussy out and and kiss it and stuff. Ya I got a pretty vivid fantasy about these stuff.

Powerslave

  • Senior Member
Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #55 on: January 02, 2008, 04:46:15 PM »
[youtube=425,350]wWSyCShhckY[/youtube]


I would fuck the shit out of this chick.

The Fake Shemp

  • Ebola Carrier
Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #56 on: January 02, 2008, 04:48:54 PM »
Setting the bar low, eh?
PSP

Mupepe

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Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #57 on: January 02, 2008, 04:50:09 PM »
If you visit let me know and we'll go out and get wasted.
Probably won't happen anytime soon.  My granmammy isn't too fond of me :'(

demi

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Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #58 on: January 02, 2008, 04:50:15 PM »
she has aids
fat

Phoenix Dark

  • I got no game it's just some bitches understand my story
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Re: PD, Here's some advice for you.
« Reply #59 on: January 02, 2008, 05:15:03 PM »
She looks like she has three kids and a husband with a 20 year old secretary
010