THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: lordmaji on January 03, 2008, 02:55:26 PM

Title: If Jesus returned today, how do you think he would respond?
Post by: lordmaji on January 03, 2008, 02:55:26 PM
Too how we are, our society, politics, race in general?

What do you guys/girls think he would think/say?

Title: Re: If Jesus returned today, how do you think he would respond?
Post by: Mupepe on January 03, 2008, 02:57:05 PM
He'd be disgusted and ask his father to destroy us
Title: Re: If Jesus returned today, how do you think he would respond?
Post by: Bloodwake on January 03, 2008, 02:59:27 PM
He'd change his mind and rapture up all the sinners. Jesus would then line up every fundamentalist and torture them like the Romans tortured Jesus.
Title: Re: If Jesus returned today, how do you think he would respond?
Post by: lordmaji on January 03, 2008, 03:04:33 PM
"LOL"

(http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c217/lordmaji/jesuslau.jpg)
Title: Re: If Jesus returned today, how do you think he would respond?
Post by: Madrun Badrun on January 03, 2008, 03:09:53 PM
I would introduce him to internet and he would be far to busy catching up on a decade of porn to call any Armageddon into play. 
Title: Re: If Jesus returned today, how do you think he would respond?
Post by: Powerslave on January 03, 2008, 03:11:04 PM
'Jesus fucking Christ'
Title: Re: If Jesus returned today, how do you think he would respond?
Post by: Madrun Badrun on January 03, 2008, 03:16:34 PM
Don't male porn stars usually start off doing gay porn?  Would Jesus of Sodom be his stage name? 
Title: Re: If Jesus returned today, how do you think he would respond?
Post by: Mupepe on January 03, 2008, 03:23:54 PM
I wonder what he'd think of "Jesus Titty-Fucking Christ"

If he's cool at all, he'd think it was pretty funny
Title: Re: If Jesus returned today, how do you think he would respond?
Post by: CurseoftheGods on January 03, 2008, 03:53:41 PM
(http://www.explosm.net/db/files/Comics/Matt/and-on-the-fourth-day-god-said-let-there-be-acronyms.png)
Title: Re: If Jesus returned today, how do you think he would respond?
Post by: lordmaji on January 03, 2008, 04:01:40 PM
Porn starring Jesus "The Long Dong King of Kings" Christ

Cuntravaging: I:69
Anal Revelations
Virgin Mothers
Anal Disciples of Christ
Four Skanks of the Apocalypse
Kingdom Cum
&
The Second Cumming.
Title: Re: If Jesus returned today, how do you think he would respond?
Post by: Mupepe on January 03, 2008, 04:11:29 PM
SICK
Title: Re: If Jesus returned today, how do you think he would respond?
Post by: lordmaji on January 03, 2008, 05:39:03 PM
(http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c217/lordmaji/pissed_jesus.jpg)

"Hollaaaaa!!!!" - J.H.C
Title: Re: If Jesus returned today, how do you think he would respond?
Post by: Van Cruncheon on January 03, 2008, 05:41:55 PM
he would probably go around trying to help aids victims, ghetto crazies, and hobos on his own, get his holy self picked up by homeland security, get sent to gitmo for being an annoying brownskin with a radical anti-government agenda, and die under mysterious circumstances. on the plus side, all our cross symbology would be replaced with stylized waterboards or battery cables.
Title: Re: If Jesus returned today, how do you think he would respond?
Post by: Human Snorenado on January 03, 2008, 05:46:20 PM
he would probably go around trying to help aids victims, ghetto crazies, and hobos on his own, get his holy self picked up by homeland security, get sent to gitmo for being an annoying brownskin with a radical anti-government agenda, and die under mysterious circumstances. on the plus side, all our cross symbology would be replaced with stylized waterboards or battery cables.

If Christians would start wearing battery cables on their nipples, I think I might start dating Christians again.
Title: Re: If Jesus returned today, how do you think he would respond?
Post by: lordmaji on January 03, 2008, 05:47:03 PM
he would probably go around trying to help aids victims, ghetto crazies, and hobos on his own, get his holy self picked up by homeland security, get sent to gitmo for being an annoying brownskin with a radical anti-government agenda, and die under mysterious circumstances. on the plus side, all our cross symbology would be replaced with stylized waterboards or battery cables.

:lol :lol :lol that is awesome. :lol
Title: Re: If Jesus returned today, how do you think he would respond?
Post by: Flannel Boy on January 03, 2008, 05:53:20 PM
It doesn't matter what he's say as people would ignore him like they ignored David Koresh.
Title: Re: If Jesus returned today, how do you think he would respond?
Post by: Van Cruncheon on January 03, 2008, 05:53:53 PM
you mean he was already ignored when he came back as david koresh!
Title: Re: If Jesus returned today, how do you think he would respond?
Post by: Flannel Boy on January 03, 2008, 05:54:53 PM
you mean he was already ignored when he came back as david koresh!
:lol oh prole
Title: Re: If Jesus returned today, how do you think he would respond?
Post by: Phoenix Dark on January 03, 2008, 05:56:46 PM
He'd probably be hiding from Mossad
Title: Re: If Jesus returned today, how do you think he would respond?
Post by: Flannel Boy on January 03, 2008, 05:59:56 PM
He'd probably be hiding from Mossad
Good! Don't need any more religious fanatics causing problems in the "Holy Lands".
Title: Re: If Jesus returned today, how do you think he would respond?
Post by: Madrun Badrun on January 03, 2008, 06:01:09 PM
you mean he was already ignored when he came back as david koresh!

 :lol :lol :lol
Title: Re: If Jesus returned today, how do you think he would respond?
Post by: Beezy on January 03, 2008, 06:04:53 PM
"LOL"
:lol
Title: Re: If Jesus returned today, how do you think he would respond?
Post by: lordmaji on January 03, 2008, 06:44:29 PM
(http://www.religionfacts.com/jesus/images/Barzoni-Black-Jesus-Montage-Vincent-Barzoni.jpeg)

You know what's funny? We have a framed version of this picture in the office. :lol
Title: Re: If Jesus returned today, how do you think he would respond?
Post by: Phoenix Dark on January 03, 2008, 07:10:44 PM
Kalamazoo Penitentiary
Title: Re: If Jesus returned today, how do you think he would respond?
Post by: lordmaji on January 03, 2008, 07:39:05 PM
Kalamazoo Penitentiary

Wait, what?  Kalamazoo is a real place?  Awesome

http://www.kalamazoocity.org/portal/index.php (http://www.kalamazoocity.org/portal/index.php)


Kalamazoo is the largest city in the southwest region of the U.S. state of Michigan AKA its a place for fegs and pink elephants

Hey, I live there.

I'm sorry you live in Kalamazoo a place where fegs and Pink Elephants roam free to rape your father and go out shopping with your mother.

You were cooler when you were poor.  Now you're just annoying.

Did his daddy or mammy win the lotto? or is he typing from a cardboard box?

Title: Re: If Jesus returned today, how do you think he would respond?
Post by: Himu on January 03, 2008, 11:28:55 PM
man, this thread needs to be archived right fucking now because i'm postin in a legendary thread
Title: Re: If Jesus returned today, how do you think he would respond?
Post by: lordmaji on January 04, 2008, 12:02:00 AM
You were cooler when you were poor.  Now you're just annoying.

I still am poor to an extent but I don't think that has anything to do with it. Ive been trying to be unfunny for awhile. I can't get through life as a fun person, theres no way.

Most of Kalamazoo is poor too LOL

yeah being poor is fucking hilarious.

Are you really poor? or are you just tugging on our queer pink elephant dicks?
Title: Re: If Jesus returned today, how do you think he would respond?
Post by: lordmaji on January 04, 2008, 12:04:31 AM
You were cooler when you were poor.  Now you're just annoying.

I still am poor to an extent but I don't think that has anything to do with it. Ive been trying to be unfunny for awhile. I can't get through life as a fun person, theres no way.

Most of Kalamazoo is poor too LOL

yeah being poor is fucking hilarious.

I was literally in tears when the mortgage company foreclosed on our house 5 years ago.  It was almost as funny as that time the company I worked for had to send a delinquent tax notice to my parents as well.  OMG I was in stitches.



...hey, Jesus LOL'd. :P
Title: Re: If Jesus returned today, how do you think he would respond?
Post by: Madrun Badrun on January 04, 2008, 12:23:12 AM
You were cooler when you were poor.  Now you're just annoying.

I still am poor to an extent but I don't think that has anything to do with it. Ive been trying to be unfunny for awhile. I can't get through life as a fun person, theres no way.

Most of Kalamazoo is poor too LOL

yeah being poor is fucking hilarious.

I was literally in tears when the mortgage company foreclosed on our house 5 years ago.  It was almost as funny as that time the company I worked for had to send a delinquent tax notice to my parents as well.  OMG I was in stitches.



I know how you feel.  The day we had to let the coachman and hunter go was a sad day for Dandyland Park.   
Title: Re: If Jesus returned today, how do you think he would respond?
Post by: ToxicAdam on January 04, 2008, 12:58:47 AM
He would probably off himself after being followed around by the paparazzi all day, everyday.

That would make for a great movie though ... Jesus comes back and is treated like a current celebrity. He is going around preaching about peace and tolerance and tabloids are making up stories about him impregnating followers and gaining weight.

"Jesus' 6-pack ab secrets inside!"

"Jesus a bad tipper?"

"Jesus and Paris Hilton? Source say yes!"


Title: Re: If Jesus returned today, how do you think he would respond?
Post by: lordmaji on January 04, 2008, 11:45:56 AM
He would probably off himself after being followed around by the paparazzi all day, everyday.

That would make for a great movie though ... Jesus comes back and is treated like a current celebrity. He is going around preaching about peace and tolerance and tabloids are making up stories about him impregnating followers and gaining weight.

"Jesus' 6-pack ab secrets inside!"

"Jesus a bad tipper?"

"Jesus and Paris Hilton? Source say yes!"




This would be an awesome movie... someone needs to make this. Adam or someone pitch it to someone in Hollywood! GO GO GO! It's your divine mission! :P