Author Topic: If Jesus returned today, how do you think he would respond? (Read 2942 times)

lordmaji · « **on:** January 03, 2008, 02:55:26 PM »

Too how we are, our society, politics, race in general?

What do you guys/girls think he would think/say?

Mupepe · « **Reply #1 on:** January 03, 2008, 02:57:05 PM »

He'd be disgusted and ask his father to destroy us

Bloodwake · « **Reply #2 on:** January 03, 2008, 02:59:27 PM »

He'd change his mind and rapture up all the sinners. Jesus would then line up every fundamentalist and torture them like the Romans tortured Jesus.

lordmaji · « **Reply #3 on:** January 03, 2008, 03:04:33 PM »

Quote from: Forgotten Ancient on January 03, 2008, 03:01:06 PM

"LOL"

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #4 on:** January 03, 2008, 03:09:53 PM »

I would introduce him to internet and he would be far to busy catching up on a decade of porn to call any Armageddon into play.

Powerslave · « **Reply #5 on:** January 03, 2008, 03:11:04 PM »

'Jesus fucking Christ'

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #6 on:** January 03, 2008, 03:16:34 PM »

Don't male porn stars usually start off doing gay porn? Would Jesus of Sodom be his stage name?

Mupepe · « **Reply #7 on:** January 03, 2008, 03:23:54 PM »

I wonder what he'd think of "Jesus Titty-Fucking Christ"

If he's cool at all, he'd think it was pretty funny

CurseoftheGods · « **Reply #8 on:** January 03, 2008, 03:53:41 PM »

lordmaji · « **Reply #9 on:** January 03, 2008, 04:01:40 PM »

Porn starring Jesus "The Long Dong King of Kings" Christ

Cuntravaging: I:69
Anal Revelations
Virgin Mothers
Anal Disciples of Christ
Four Skanks of the Apocalypse
Kingdom Cum
&
The Second Cumming.

Mupepe · « **Reply #10 on:** January 03, 2008, 04:11:29 PM »

lordmaji · « **Reply #11 on:** January 03, 2008, 05:39:03 PM »

"Hollaaaaa!!!!" - J.H.C

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #12 on:** January 03, 2008, 05:41:55 PM »

he would probably go around trying to help aids victims, ghetto crazies, and hobos on his own, get his holy self picked up by homeland security, get sent to gitmo for being an annoying brownskin with a radical anti-government agenda, and die under mysterious circumstances. on the plus side, all our cross symbology would be replaced with stylized waterboards or battery cables.

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #13 on:** January 03, 2008, 05:46:20 PM »

Quote from: Professor Prole on January 03, 2008, 05:41:55 PM

he would probably go around trying to help aids victims, ghetto crazies, and hobos on his own, get his holy self picked up by homeland security, get sent to gitmo for being an annoying brownskin with a radical anti-government agenda, and die under mysterious circumstances. on the plus side, all our cross symbology would be replaced with stylized waterboards or battery cables.

If Christians would start wearing battery cables on their nipples, I think I might start dating Christians again.

lordmaji · « **Reply #14 on:** January 03, 2008, 05:47:03 PM »

Quote from: Professor Prole on January 03, 2008, 05:41:55 PM

he would probably go around trying to help aids victims, ghetto crazies, and hobos on his own, get his holy self picked up by homeland security, get sent to gitmo for being an annoying brownskin with a radical anti-government agenda, and die under mysterious circumstances. on the plus side, all our cross symbology would be replaced with stylized waterboards or battery cables.

that is awesome.

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #15 on:** January 03, 2008, 05:53:20 PM »

It doesn't matter what he's say as people would ignore him like they ignored David Koresh.

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #16 on:** January 03, 2008, 05:53:53 PM »

you mean he was already ignored when he came back as david koresh!

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #17 on:** January 03, 2008, 05:54:53 PM »

Quote from: Professor Prole on January 03, 2008, 05:53:53 PM

you mean he was already ignored when he came back as david koresh!

oh prole

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #18 on:** January 03, 2008, 05:56:46 PM »

He'd probably be hiding from Mossad

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #19 on:** January 03, 2008, 05:59:56 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on January 03, 2008, 05:56:46 PM

He'd probably be hiding from Mossad

Good! Don't need any more religious fanatics causing problems in the "Holy Lands".

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #20 on:** January 03, 2008, 06:01:09 PM »

Quote from: Professor Prole on January 03, 2008, 05:53:53 PM

you mean he was already ignored when he came back as david koresh!

Beezy · « **Reply #21 on:** January 03, 2008, 06:04:53 PM »

Quote from: Forgotten Ancient on January 03, 2008, 03:01:06 PM

"LOL"

lordmaji · « **Reply #22 on:** January 03, 2008, 06:44:29 PM »

Quote from: ParticleReality on January 03, 2008, 06:28:33 PM

(Image removed from quote.)

You know what's funny? We have a framed version of this picture in the office.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #23 on:** January 03, 2008, 07:10:44 PM »

Kalamazoo Penitentiary

lordmaji · « **Reply #24 on:** January 03, 2008, 07:39:05 PM »

Quote from: Forgotten Ancient on January 03, 2008, 07:35:44 PM

Quote from: ParticleReality on January 03, 2008, 07:32:20 PM
Quote from: Forgotten Ancient on January 03, 2008, 07:27:57 PM
Quote from: ParticleReality on January 03, 2008, 07:17:19 PM
Quote from: Forgotten Ancient on January 03, 2008, 07:15:12 PM
Quote from: Phoenix Dark on January 03, 2008, 07:10:44 PM
Kalamazoo Penitentiary

Wait, what? Kalamazoo is a real place? Awesome

http://www.kalamazoocity.org/portal/index.php

Kalamazoo is the largest city in the southwest region of the U.S. state of Michigan AKA its a place for fegs and pink elephants

Hey, I live there.

I'm sorry you live in Kalamazoo a place where fegs and Pink Elephants roam free to rape your father and go out shopping with your mother.

You were cooler when you were poor. Now you're just annoying.

Did his daddy or mammy win the lotto? or is he typing from a cardboard box?

Himu · « **Reply #25 on:** January 03, 2008, 11:28:55 PM »

man, this thread needs to be archived right fucking now because i'm postin in a legendary thread

lordmaji · « **Reply #26 on:** January 04, 2008, 12:02:00 AM »

Quote from: ParticleReality on January 03, 2008, 11:25:20 PM

Quote from: Forgotten Ancient on January 03, 2008, 07:47:48 PM
Quote from: ParticleReality on January 03, 2008, 07:44:49 PM
Quote from: Forgotten Ancient on January 03, 2008, 07:35:44 PM
You were cooler when you were poor. Now you're just annoying.

I still am poor to an extent but I don't think that has anything to do with it. Ive been trying to be unfunny for awhile. I can't get through life as a fun person, theres no way.

Most of Kalamazoo is poor too LOL

yeah being poor is fucking hilarious.

Are you really poor? or are you just tugging on our queer pink elephant dicks?

lordmaji · « **Reply #27 on:** January 04, 2008, 12:04:31 AM »

Quote from: Forgotten Ancient on January 04, 2008, 12:02:12 AM

Quote from: ParticleReality on January 03, 2008, 11:25:20 PM
Quote from: Forgotten Ancient on January 03, 2008, 07:47:48 PM
Quote from: ParticleReality on January 03, 2008, 07:44:49 PM
Quote from: Forgotten Ancient on January 03, 2008, 07:35:44 PM
You were cooler when you were poor. Now you're just annoying.

I still am poor to an extent but I don't think that has anything to do with it. Ive been trying to be unfunny for awhile. I can't get through life as a fun person, theres no way.

Most of Kalamazoo is poor too LOL

yeah being poor is fucking hilarious.

I was literally in tears when the mortgage company foreclosed on our house 5 years ago. It was almost as funny as that time the company I worked for had to send a delinquent tax notice to my parents as well. OMG I was in stitches.

...hey, Jesus LOL'd.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #28 on:** January 04, 2008, 12:23:12 AM »

Quote from: Forgotten Ancient on January 04, 2008, 12:02:12 AM

Quote from: ParticleReality on January 03, 2008, 11:25:20 PM
Quote from: Forgotten Ancient on January 03, 2008, 07:47:48 PM
Quote from: ParticleReality on January 03, 2008, 07:44:49 PM
Quote from: Forgotten Ancient on January 03, 2008, 07:35:44 PM
You were cooler when you were poor. Now you're just annoying.

I still am poor to an extent but I don't think that has anything to do with it. Ive been trying to be unfunny for awhile. I can't get through life as a fun person, theres no way.

Most of Kalamazoo is poor too LOL

yeah being poor is fucking hilarious.

I was literally in tears when the mortgage company foreclosed on our house 5 years ago. It was almost as funny as that time the company I worked for had to send a delinquent tax notice to my parents as well. OMG I was in stitches.

I know how you feel. The day we had to let the coachman and hunter go was a sad day for Dandyland Park.

ToxicAdam · « **Reply #29 on:** January 04, 2008, 12:58:47 AM »

He would probably off himself after being followed around by the paparazzi all day, everyday.

That would make for a great movie though ... Jesus comes back and is treated like a current celebrity. He is going around preaching about peace and tolerance and tabloids are making up stories about him impregnating followers and gaining weight.

"Jesus' 6-pack ab secrets inside!"

"Jesus a bad tipper?"

"Jesus and Paris Hilton? Source say yes!"

lordmaji · « **Reply #30 on:** January 04, 2008, 11:45:56 AM »

Quote from: ToxicAdam on January 04, 2008, 12:58:47 AM

He would probably off himself after being followed around by the paparazzi all day, everyday.

That would make for a great movie though ... Jesus comes back and is treated like a current celebrity. He is going around preaching about peace and tolerance and tabloids are making up stories about him impregnating followers and gaining weight.

"Jesus' 6-pack ab secrets inside!"

"Jesus a bad tipper?"

"Jesus and Paris Hilton? Source say yes!"

This would be an awesome movie... someone needs to make this. Adam or someone pitch it to someone in Hollywood! GO GO GO! It's your divine mission!

News:

Author Topic: If Jesus returned today, how do you think he would respond? (Read 2942 times)