THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: Himu on March 24, 2008, 09:03:34 PM

Title: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: Himu on March 24, 2008, 09:03:34 PM: I'm tired of this shit. Every single damn time! I lock the door, and my roommate opens the damn door while I'm doing my...business.

I don't know what it is. I lock the door, and the dude comes opening it as if it's not locked. This doesn't happen for anyone else, including me, so what's up?

This kid is like a damn ninja. I can usually tell when he's approaching because he has these stupid keys on his pants which dangle annoyingly. You could hear him a block away. But for some reason every damn time I'm fapping he sneaks up on me like a ninja like he wants to see me do it! I can't take much more of this.

I play my porn so I can hear the voices, so I don't get why it's so hard to not hear the moaning, the ball slapping outside the door and have the sense TO NOT OPEN IT. Then again, I'm talking about the same guy who hung up panties on the fucking ceiling fan. FUCK.
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: y2kev on March 24, 2008, 09:04:32 PM: himu, good lord.
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: hyp on March 24, 2008, 09:04:49 PM: :lol :lol :lol
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: BlackMage on March 24, 2008, 09:05:33 PM: so.. which door? The door to the house or your room? If it's to the house.. man, wtf, do that shit in your own god damn room.
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: Akala on March 24, 2008, 09:05:49 PM: start leaving the door open?
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: hyp on March 24, 2008, 09:06:36 PM: you should introduce him to "interracial" porn. kill the boy's curiosity.
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: Madrun Badrun on March 24, 2008, 09:06:48 PM: :lol :lol :lol
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: Phoenix Dark on March 24, 2008, 09:08:44 PM: I play my porn so I can hear the voices

I play my porn so I can hear the voices

I play my porn so I can hear the voices

I play my porn so I can hear the voices

(http://tinyurl.com/25fgqf)
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: BlackMage on March 24, 2008, 09:14:52 PM: is dat yo girlfriend?
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: demi on March 24, 2008, 09:21:14 PM: You masturbate at 8PM?
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: Himu on March 24, 2008, 09:21:20 PM: I probably wouldn't have this problem if it didn't take me 30-40 minutes to fap anyways.
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: Phoenix Dark on March 24, 2008, 09:30:29 PM: btw thanks for the porn you sent me Himu OMG. Can't wait to download it

But DUDE, why are you watching porn so early, with people around? I only watch porn when it's late, ie 1AM or so. If I'm the only one home I'll watch stuff at any time I please though
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: Himu on March 24, 2008, 09:36:45 PM: I swear he wasn't even in the damn apartment when I started. He's usually in real late at night and goes to bed at like 12 or 1 so I have to do it early in the night.

yeah i'm dling that porn right now :D
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: Phoenix Dark on March 24, 2008, 09:41:57 PM: SMH himu
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=80458
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: AdmiralViscen on March 24, 2008, 09:42:18 PM: Himu is PD circa 2006
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: Himu on March 24, 2008, 09:43:33 PM: Quote from: Phoenix Dark on March 24, 2008, 09:41:57 PM
SMH himu
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=80458

What? It was a joke thread
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: Phoenix Dark on March 24, 2008, 09:48:44 PM: Quote from: AdmiralViscen on March 24, 2008, 09:42:18 PM
Himu is PD circa 2006

I'm insulted
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=92942
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: The Fake Shemp on March 24, 2008, 09:49:26 PM: Live by yourself.
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: BlueTsunami on March 24, 2008, 09:53:40 PM: Quote from: Himuro on March 24, 2008, 09:21:20 PM
I probably wouldn't have this problem if it didn't take me 30-40 minutes to fap anyways.

Wtf are you watching? Porn with stories? Fuck, just get to the gurgling and be done with it
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: Himu on March 24, 2008, 09:55:16 PM: Quote from: BlueTsunami on March 24, 2008, 09:53:40 PM
Quote from: Himuro on March 24, 2008, 09:21:20 PM
I probably wouldn't have this problem if it didn't take me 30-40 minutes to fap anyways.

Wtf are you watching? Porn with stories? Fuck, just get to the gurgling and be done with it

I prolong my orgasms and practice kegels.
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: TVC15 on March 24, 2008, 09:55:37 PM: HE LIKES TO HEAR THE VOICES!

The voices and sounds in porn are so generic. I can't fathom why you'd want to listen to that.
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: Himu on March 24, 2008, 09:57:01 PM: Quote from: TVC 15 on March 24, 2008, 09:55:37 PM
HE LIKES TO HEAR THE VOICES!

The voices and sounds in porn are so generic. I can't fathom why you'd want to listen to that.

I like dirty talk!
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: TVC15 on March 24, 2008, 09:57:49 PM: Then IM Lemurs. The dirty talk in porn is generic as well.
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: Himu on March 24, 2008, 09:59:28 PM: Well, it is, but it's fun! And if a chick has hot voice or the way she goes 'mmmmmmmmmmmmm" when she sucks a cock is sexy I'm like :o
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: TVC15 on March 24, 2008, 10:01:03 PM: Jesus Christ, Himu.
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: Himu on March 24, 2008, 10:02:07 PM: WHAT
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: Phoenix Dark on March 24, 2008, 10:04:33 PM: Best voice in ALL porn: Nikita Denise. Holy shit

And omg Giana Michaels makes me hard by talking. I love watching her because she's actually into the job. She tries to make the dudes bust their nuts early :lol

And I love Spring Thomas calling black guys distinguished black fellows
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: Himu on March 24, 2008, 10:05:02 PM: Quote from: Phoenix Dark on March 24, 2008, 10:04:33 PM
And I love Spring Thomas calling black guys distinguished black fellows

:rofl
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: Himu on March 24, 2008, 10:07:40 PM: Yeah Phoenix, when you listen to the voices it can help determine whether the chick is into it or not.If you watch a porn where the chick is hesitant and not sure, or FAKING, you're like,"this is such a turn off. it's like i'm watching some rape video tvc made when he was in high school and didn't realize he was gay yet" I need authenticity! If a chick is enjoying it, it goes a long way in turning me on.
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: BlueTsunami on March 24, 2008, 10:09:35 PM: I'm not one to talk about my porn watching habits but I do have to admit to Gianna being a fucking sex beast
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: Ichirou on March 24, 2008, 10:11:08 PM: .
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: Phoenix Dark on March 24, 2008, 10:12:29 PM: Giana :bow :bow :bow

I hate when the chick is obviously phoning in the sex; it's even worse when they're doing fake screams ugghh. I love when a chick squirts so hard I have to jump up and take a piss too. That's when I know I'm watching classic smut
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: BlueTsunami on March 24, 2008, 10:16:45 PM: Why would you want to shame yourself for more than 10 Minutes?
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: Himu on March 24, 2008, 10:16:50 PM: Quote from: Ichi on March 24, 2008, 10:11:08 PM
How many times has your roomie interrupted you while you're doing your business? I recommend you do the same to him when he's having sex with a girl, see how HE likes it.

This is the fourth time.
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: BlueTsunami on March 24, 2008, 10:17:47 PM: One day your going to feel your roomates soft palmed hand wrap around your peener and you won't resist. Put a padlock on that bitch
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: Ichirou on March 24, 2008, 10:17:53 PM: .
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: Himu on March 24, 2008, 10:19:06 PM: Quote from: dcharlie on March 24, 2008, 10:12:04 PM
Quote
I probably wouldn't have this problem if it didn't take me 30-40 minutes to fap anyways.

the real reason for thread right here!

note: 30-40 minutes is -not- long anyways :fugeeface

I know it isn't. It's still better than 5 minutes. I'm building up my endurance.
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: Himu on March 24, 2008, 10:20:53 PM: Quote from: Phoenix Dark on March 24, 2008, 10:12:29 PM
Giana :bow :bow :bow

I hate when the chick is obviously phoning in the sex; it's even worse when they're doing fake screams ugghh. I love when a chick squirts so hard I have to jump up and take a piss too. That's when I know I'm watching classic smut

WORD and the chicks who LOVE to suck the dick are awesome. Pure, unadulterated pornography with nothing fake about it. Too bad you have to sift through the shit porn to get to it.
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: Himu on March 24, 2008, 10:23:49 PM: Of course! But it doesn't help to try!
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: Ichirou on March 24, 2008, 10:25:09 PM: .
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: Himu on March 24, 2008, 10:25:40 PM: I love long beat off sessions.
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: CurseoftheGods on March 24, 2008, 10:26:42 PM: Wow, Himuro. :lol
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: Phoenix Dark on March 24, 2008, 10:36:44 PM: curse whats the biggest penis you've ever seen irl :-*
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: demi on March 24, 2008, 10:38:48 PM: Quote from: BlueTsunami on March 24, 2008, 10:17:47 PM
One day your going to feel your roomates soft palmed hand wrap around your peener and you won't resist. Put a padlock on that bitch

Why would you refuse a free handjob?
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: CurseoftheGods on March 24, 2008, 10:56:53 PM: Quote from: Phoenix Dark on March 24, 2008, 10:36:44 PM
curse whats the biggest penis you've ever seen irl :-*

My dad's.

No incesto.
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: demi on March 24, 2008, 11:07:22 PM: Quote from: CurseoftheGods on March 24, 2008, 10:56:53 PM
Quote from: Phoenix Dark on March 24, 2008, 10:36:44 PM
curse whats the biggest penis you've ever seen irl :-*

My dad's.

No incesto.

That's... very disappointing to hear

Pics of dad?
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: Joe Molotov on March 24, 2008, 11:08:51 PM: Quote from: BlueTsunami on March 24, 2008, 10:17:47 PM
One day your going to feel your roomates soft palmed hand wrap around your peener and you won't resist. Put a padlock on that bitch

Only one hand? Himu will barely even feel that with his 10 inch widowmaker. No wonder it takes him 30-40 minutes to get off, he probably has to use both hands and one foot to get enough friction built up.
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: Himu on March 24, 2008, 11:09:45 PM: :rofl
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: Ichirou on March 24, 2008, 11:10:31 PM: .
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: CajoleJuice on March 25, 2008, 12:00:41 AM: Quote from: CurseoftheGods on March 24, 2008, 10:56:53 PM
Quote from: Phoenix Dark on March 24, 2008, 10:36:44 PM
curse whats the biggest penis you've ever seen irl :-*

My dad's.

No incesto.

So is your own penis second? :-*
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: Mupepe on March 25, 2008, 12:23:17 AM: Quote from: Genghis Cohen on March 24, 2008, 10:24:10 PM
Beating off is so different from sex that practicing one has no advantage to the other.
yeah, before i lost my virginity, i used to rationalize my twice a day habit by saying I was practicing longevity for when I finally have sex. I lasted like 3 seconds :(
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: Madrun Badrun on March 25, 2008, 12:42:55 AM: Quote from: Genghis Cohen on March 25, 2008, 12:24:52 AM
Himu needs to practice holding whisky if he wants longevity at first. Worked for me :rock

Really?

Also we all know you meant "rationalize 6 times a day" mupepe.
spoiler (click to show/hide)
At least I hope so. Mupepe jerking less than me makes me feel like a horn-dog :'( :'(
[close]
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: Phoenix Dark on March 25, 2008, 12:45:43 AM: I can't get fully hard from porn anymore. Seems like I need something even more explicit to wank to, but I'm afraid what that next step might be
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: Joe Molotov on March 25, 2008, 12:48:26 AM: Quote from: Phoenix Dark on March 25, 2008, 12:45:43 AM
I can't get fully hard from porn anymore. Seems like I need something even more explicit to wank to, but I'm afraid what that next step might be

Sex?
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: Phoenix Dark on March 25, 2008, 12:50:35 AM: I mean, I still get hard. But I know I can get harder
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: demi on March 25, 2008, 12:52:29 AM: yea 30 minutes is too much, i'm not here to study this shit, i just want to lob one off so i can go to sleep
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: bork on March 25, 2008, 02:02:00 AM: Quote from: dcharlie on March 24, 2008, 10:22:31 PM
Quote
I know it isn't. It's still better than 5 minutes. I'm building up my endurance.

performance in the sack is 99% psychological - no amount of whacking off is going to help you when it comes to the big minge plunge.

If Himu's wacking off too much and doing it to pornstars with "fake" bodies, it could also potentially fuck him up psychologically when he does finally get himself a replacement for his hand.
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: Howard Alan Treesong on March 25, 2008, 02:23:13 AM: new worst thread on EB
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: Rman on March 25, 2008, 02:25:23 AM: What was the previous champion, SP?
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: Bloodwake on March 25, 2008, 02:38:55 AM: Masturbation: the way to go.
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: drew on March 25, 2008, 03:50:25 AM: Quote from: Genghis Cohen on March 25, 2008, 12:44:44 AM
Getting comfortably drunk is an almost sure fire way of not nutting in the first couple minutes.

Yeah, but all that does is give you an extra 5 minutes.

I imagine the world record for a first time is 10 minutes max, it's not gonna happen. But first impressions are vital, so you've gotta eat her out until you're ready to go again. That way you get to sleep with her again and she won't avoid your calls.
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: Ichirou on March 25, 2008, 03:50:56 AM: .
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on March 25, 2008, 06:17:01 AM: Quote

I imagine the world record for a first time is 10 minutes max

I set a new world record last fall, apparently.
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: Olivia Wilde Homo on March 25, 2008, 09:26:57 AM: Beating the meat should not take 30-40 minutes. If you're still jacking it after a couple minutes, you did something wrong.

Quote from: Drewsy on March 25, 2008, 03:50:25 AM
Quote from: Genghis Cohen on March 25, 2008, 12:44:44 AM
Getting comfortably drunk is an almost sure fire way of not nutting in the first couple minutes.

Yeah, but all that does is give you an extra 5 minutes.

I imagine the world record for a first time is 10 minutes max, it's not gonna happen. But first impressions are vital, so you've gotta eat her out until you're ready to go again. That way you get to sleep with her again and she won't avoid your calls.

Took me 30 minutes, son. Fortunately my condom was so tight that it made my dick feel like a hard, numb mass that I just thrusted into a vagina without any sort of rhythm at all. Fortunately, I got the hang of it towards the end.
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: tiesto on March 25, 2008, 11:15:38 AM: Took me a while my first time too, b/c the condom was too tight and cut off circulation. I now know that I'm a magnum man, at least.
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: Tauntaun on March 25, 2008, 11:26:56 AM: Quote from: tiesto on March 25, 2008, 11:15:38 AM
Took me a while my first time too, b/c the condom was too tight and cut off circulation. I now know that I'm a magnum man, at least.

:punch
Title: Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
Post by: Phoenix Dark on March 25, 2008, 11:36:07 AM: It depends on what I'm watching. Often I'll start slow - often with my hand below the head - and then start pulling hard brushing against the head for nerve stimuli. But if something amazing happens in the porn I might be unable to hold anylonger and bam