THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: Van Cruncheon on August 03, 2006, 06:05:12 PM

Title: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: Van Cruncheon on August 03, 2006, 06:05:12 PM: So I *hear* that ONE of the crack-smoking, cat-piss-chugging, barrel-fucking reviewers over at EGM gave Ultimate Ghouls and Ghosts a *4.5* because it was TOO HARD.

This is fucking OBJECTIVELY WRONG. This is a TRAVESTY.

Now, the bashing begins.
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment on August 03, 2006, 06:06:00 PM: I remember when I used to read EGM. Lol.
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: Cheebs on August 03, 2006, 06:07:56 PM: I remember when video game magazines mattered. Lol.
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: MrAngryFace on August 03, 2006, 06:08:05 PM: You can catch EGM readings on #GA
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment on August 03, 2006, 06:08:47 PM: Quote from: MrAngryFace on August 03, 2006, 06:08:05 PM
You can catch EGM readings on #GA
:o Evilore's back at it?
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: Mondain on August 03, 2006, 06:09:21 PM: it was almost like a mini videogame encyclopedia at some point, but it's been junk for like two years

they try to be hip and appeal to teenagers instead of hardcore gamers

and their new reviewers don't know games and don't have a clue on anything
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: Van Cruncheon on August 03, 2006, 06:10:17 PM: This isn't about the relevance of EGM or videogame magazines. This is about some PIMPLY-ASSED PISSFLAP giving the GOTY 2006 a *4.5* because he is a GIANT SOBBY PORK RIND OF A HUMAN BEING.
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: Cheebs on August 03, 2006, 06:10:38 PM: I will start caring about video game magazines again if we get a american style famitsu. Weekly and nearly everything being exclusive.

Till then MEH at the whole industry.

Edit: Also about the hard thing, I thought its difficulty was cut down?
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment on August 03, 2006, 06:11:25 PM: (http://img182.imageshack.us/img182/4090/01ii5.jpg)
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: Van Cruncheon on August 03, 2006, 06:11:59 PM: who is that bloatasaurus
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: BlueTsunami on August 03, 2006, 06:12:37 PM: I also heard EGM cancelled August for Xbox360

LOL!
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: Mondain on August 03, 2006, 06:13:14 PM: what's the name of the guy who awarded that ignoble rating?
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: MrAngryFace on August 03, 2006, 06:13:23 PM: (http://www.indarktrees.com/MAFStuff/Random/madseal.jpg)
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment on August 03, 2006, 06:13:34 PM: Quote from: Drinky Crow on August 03, 2006, 06:11:59 PM
who is that bloatasaurus
Olimarihoe gives you a:

(http://img182.imageshack.us/img182/4090/01ii5.jpg)
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: Cheebs on August 03, 2006, 06:13:43 PM: Quote from: Master Shake on August 03, 2006, 06:11:25 PM
(http://img182.imageshack.us/img182/4090/01ii5.jpg)
His thumbs bother me.
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment on August 03, 2006, 06:14:45 PM: Quote from: Cheebs on August 03, 2006, 06:13:43 PM
His thumbs bother me.
It's because he spends all day sticking them up his ass and getting laughed at on OA...
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: brawndolicious on August 03, 2006, 06:14:53 PM: One guy brought an issue of a game magazine to school on the second day in this "bring something about you" presentation and he started to explain to the teacher how great cheats really were for the gamer and she said the game magazines were well written and that made him nod his head, I never wanted to smack somebody so bad. A fucking game magazine.
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: MrAngryFace on August 03, 2006, 06:16:13 PM: SHUT UP THEY ARE JOURNALISTS BORN FROM THE HELLFIRES OF FANSITES
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment on August 03, 2006, 06:16:23 PM: Quote from: am nintenho on August 03, 2006, 06:14:53 PM
One guy brought an issue of a game magazine to school on the second day in this "bring something about you" presentation and he started to explain to the teacher how great cheats really were for the gamer and she said the game magazines were well written and that made him nod his head, I never wanted to smack somebody so bad. A fucking game magazine.
:o

Third grader confirmed?!
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: brawndolicious on August 03, 2006, 06:19:15 PM: Quote from: Master Shake on August 03, 2006, 06:16:23 PM
Quote from: am nintenho on August 03, 2006, 06:14:53 PM
One guy brought an issue of a game magazine to school on the second day in this "bring something about you" presentation and he started to explain to the teacher how great cheats really were for the gamer and she said the game magazines were well written and that made him nod his head, I never wanted to smack somebody so bad. A fucking game magazine.
:o

Third grader confirmed?!
This was 11th grade. I didn't bring it though.
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: Vizzys on August 03, 2006, 06:19:16 PM: I get a free subscription so I have no qualls.

However I do have a question to the topic maker. Are you Drinky Cum on OA? Or is that just a hilarious parody of yourself?

I'm thinking the latter but I would like your confirmation anyway.
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: TakingBackSunday on August 03, 2006, 06:19:27 PM: They also gave the the 360's best game bound to be released until Gears of War pretty low scores. Screw you EGM, Dead Rising and Ultimate G and G ROCK.
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: Van Cruncheon on August 03, 2006, 06:20:32 PM: I am indeed "Drinky Cum" on OA.
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: Vizzys on August 03, 2006, 06:21:52 PM: Good to know. ;D

http://opa-ages.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=66460
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: Van Cruncheon on August 03, 2006, 06:23:21 PM: i am sorely misunderstood. :'(
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: CajoleJuice on August 03, 2006, 06:35:13 PM: When editors/reviewers for gaming magazines are gaming pussies... it's a sad day. That's fucking garbage.
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: Mondain on August 03, 2006, 06:45:13 PM: Edge gave it a 9 instead, I'd trust them instead of those twats
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: BlueTsunami on August 03, 2006, 06:56:20 PM: Yeah, the disparity between Edge's score and EGM's score is very interesting. I say the main factor is that the writers for EGM are pussies
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: captainbiotch on August 03, 2006, 07:11:14 PM: Has anyone played the game? This thread reeks of hurt fanboy feelings.
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: CajoleJuice on August 03, 2006, 07:18:26 PM: Quote from: captainbiotch on August 03, 2006, 07:11:14 PM
Has anyone played the game? This thread reeks of hurt fanboy feelings.
You didn't bring justice. STAY THE FUCK OUT
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: captainbiotch on August 03, 2006, 07:23:47 PM: Antifanboyism IS justice.

I really hope EGM is wrong too =(
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: etiolate on August 03, 2006, 07:47:35 PM: EGM reviews are just throwing darts at a board.
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: Phoenix Dark on August 03, 2006, 08:04:25 PM: EGM is one of the stupidest magazines in publication. Just a group of illerate distinguished mentally-challenged fellows who work for a Ziff Davis. Their reviews are terrible, their exclusives are weak, and their show sucks ass.

HAY LETS HIRE A ASIAN MAN FOR STREET CRED!

(http://img518.imageshack.us/img518/763/7825vh7.jpg)
"Do I LOOK like I'm a virgin or what?"
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: Van Cruncheon on August 03, 2006, 08:14:13 PM: no che bashing, taco
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: Phoenix Dark on August 03, 2006, 08:15:33 PM: Quote from: Drinky Crow on August 03, 2006, 08:14:13 PM
no che bashing, taco

He's a douche. MS turncoat Nintendo hating little woman.
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment on August 03, 2006, 08:21:22 PM: Quote from: Phoenix Dark on August 03, 2006, 08:15:33 PM
He's a douche. MS turncoat Nintendo hating little woman.
:o >:( ::)
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: Van Cruncheon on August 03, 2006, 08:42:37 PM: There's a lot of Nintendo-hating MS turncoats around these parts, pardner
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: demi on August 03, 2006, 09:33:34 PM: i met che at E3 for a brief moment, he was cool, i got no queefs with him

beefs
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: Phoenix Dark on August 03, 2006, 09:38:30 PM: Quote from: demi on August 03, 2006, 09:33:34 PM
i met che at E3 for a brief moment, he was cool, i got no queefs with him

beefs

You're lucky he didn't molest you. There are stories...
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: demi on August 03, 2006, 09:44:48 PM: i can hold my own against some microsoft loving asian
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: Phoenix Dark on August 03, 2006, 09:52:18 PM: I doubt this. A Microsoft loving Asian is quite dangerous, mainly because there are so few of them that we can't pinpoint an exact weakness of them. It's not like, oh I don't know, the watermelon eating black man, whom we all know and love.

I'M NOT RACIST LOLZ I'M JUST A SELF HATING BLACK MAN
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: etiolate on August 03, 2006, 09:56:11 PM: I have no love for anything to do with EGM for the past.. god knows how many years. They went from suits who hate games to gamers who hate themselves for it. Just a circle jerk either way.
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: Mondain on August 03, 2006, 09:59:34 PM: Che always seemed cool to me, either way you better stop dissing him Phoenix else he'll steal your videogames while you're sleeping.
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment on August 03, 2006, 10:00:56 PM: Che was my meal ticket for a job at 1Up.com (when I was still writing about games) before he jumped ship :-\
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: Matlock on August 03, 2006, 10:50:05 PM: Although ToastyFrog is almost always wrong (see: Deep Labyrinth, which is about 2 points shy of a 6.5 on any sane scale), giving UGNG a score in the 5's is appropriate. Unless there was a massive retool to the design and execution of the game, it has about as much relevance to the series as Metal Slug Advance does.

It's just too easy.
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: Bacon on August 03, 2006, 10:52:47 PM: I read EGM when I shit. The digital version.
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: Van Cruncheon on August 03, 2006, 10:54:23 PM: http://toastyfrog.com/verbalspew/archives/archive_2006-m08.php#e166

Parrish is a fuckin' distinguished mentally-challenged fellow. UGnG is unbridled brilliance, both in terms of visuals and controls. The ONLY complaint I'd level against it is the Strider 2-esque separation of levels into sublevels, separated by a brief load time, but hey: that's disc media for you. The rest is both a great homage to and a great reinvention of the series.

Look, I can understand some folks not liking the GnG controls and formula. I don't get the pleasure some folks find in the "tank controls" of RE, myself. Then again, I'd never review something I don't "get," either. Parrish is a dipshit, and the pre-emptive whining on his blog is just a series of blithering and unfounded angry adjectives. Hell, he doesn't even specifically mention what about UGnG sucks; he just throws several overarticulated and overmodified variations of "this game is crap" at us cruelly misled "hardcore". But aside from preference, there is absolutely NOTHING to hate about UGnG if you've enjoyed the series to date.

Normally, I'd ackowledge that I like some bogus and brutal games, but when drohne's opinion backs mine up -- a man whose taste has never steered me wrong when it comes to classic gaming genres -- I gotta say I *know* Parrish is just playing the role of snarky fucking iconoclast. Especially when he goes on to praise crap like Clash at Demonhead and Milon's Secret Castle in the rest of his blog. He's just trying to out-nerd the nerds, but he picked the wrong game to do it with.

Matlock, the difficulty has been cranked through the roof.
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: Matlock on August 03, 2006, 11:09:23 PM: Quote from: Drinky Crow on August 03, 2006, 10:54:23 PM

Matlock, the difficulty has been cranked through the roof.

I'll believe it when I see it. The ability to continue from where you die and lifebars ruined the game when I had my hands on it.
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: Vagabond on August 03, 2006, 11:12:42 PM: Then you played on the Beginner difficulty, Matlock
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: Van Cruncheon on August 03, 2006, 11:16:49 PM: Yup. The Beginner setting *is* retardedly easy, and doesn't play at all like classic GnG. Move up to Normal to play the game in its challenging, classic style.
Title: Re: THE EGM HATE THREAD: Bring your justice, or stay the fuck out
Post by: Matlock on August 03, 2006, 11:21:15 PM: Quote from: Vagabond on August 03, 2006, 11:12:42 PM
Then you played on the Beginner difficulty, Matlock

'twas the only mode available at the time, as "normal."

None of the other difficulties were open.