THE BORE
General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: xnikki118x on November 04, 2008, 05:53:21 PM
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[Sorry for the crappy formatting. My friend found it as a comment to a political article, and thought I'd enjoy it. I think you'll enjoy it, too!]
Dear Red States:
If you manage to steal this election too we've decided
we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and
we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you
aren't aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon,
Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and
all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial
to the nation, and especially to the people of the new
country of New California.
To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the
slave
states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We
get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.
We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.
We get 85% of America's venture capital and
entrepreneurs. You get Alabama.
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the
red states pay their fair share.
Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22% lower than the
Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy
families. You get a bunch of single moms....
Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice
and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens
back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask
your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently
willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they
don't care if you don't show pictures of their
children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success
in Iraq , and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not
willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.
With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of
80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the
pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit,
95% of America's quality wines, 90% of all cheese, 90%
of the high tech industry, 95% of the corn and soybeans
(thanks Iowa!), most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living
redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister
schools plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.
With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to
cope with 88% of all obese Americans (and their projected
health care costs), 92% of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100%
of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern
Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush
Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University
of Georgia.
We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you....
Additionally, 38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah
was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is
sacred unless we're discussing the war, the death
penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a
theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you
crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals
then we lefties.
Finally, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have
that dirt weed they grow in Mexico
Peace out,
--Blue States
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I'm glad you commented. I was worried it was offensive or something and I was blind to it. :)
:rock Cohen
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I got an email that said that 99.7% of all liberals like it up the butt. I should post it here and claim it as fact.
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Only 99.7?
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I got an email that said that 99.7% of all liberals like it up the butt. I should post it here and claim it as fact.
Aw honey I never said any of this was fact. Just something for the lulz.
Only 99.7?
:lol
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I got an email that said that 99.7% of all liberals like it up the butt.
so?
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I'm glad you commented. I was worried it was offensive or something and I was blind to it. :)
:rock Cohen
It's cool, Nikki. I thought it was awesome. :rock
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Go blue.
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I got an email that said that 99.7% of all liberals like it up the butt. I should post it here and claim it as fact.
My figures say 100%
I got 104% but the figure comes from a republican which explains why the numbers don't add up. Poor guy makes 25,000 a year and fears Obamas tax plan.
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I'm all for chopping this country into bits and pieces and forming new coalitions, but I say split it up by congressional district. I would say county, but that would be too much.
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I got an email that said that 99.7% of all liberals like it up the butt. I should post it here and claim it as fact.
You sure you read that as "all liberals" and not "evilbore"?
:rock Blue States :rock
:rock NY :rock
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The only girls I knew that liked it up the butt were the religious girls @ school that didn't want to be technically de-flowered before marriage. So instead, they let every guy they met fuck them in the ass. :rofl
I'm technically in a red state. :'( We rallied over 100K for Obama a few weeks back though!
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The only girls I knew that liked it up the butt were the religious girls @ school that didn't want to be technically de-flowered before marriage. So instead, they let every guy they met fuck them in the ass. :rofl
EB needs more stories like this.
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Ya'll were the ones who fought to get us back. Suck it down Blues, you're stuck with us now. :piss2
P.S. We have Jesus, you have L. Ron Hubbard and Tom Cruise.
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I have Satan
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Lennedsay is typing up something hot. I can tell.
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THIS JUST IN! I'm in a yellow state! :spin Also, we have Blues hockey! Minimal red ftw!
A guy my husband went to school with had this really religious girlfriend that wanted to have sex but wanted to remain a virgin . So she let him fuck her up the butt & then KEPT THE CONDOM! Then she put the used poopy, spunk-filled condom in her secret scrapbook!
I think her mom found it later on or something. "No, it's cool Mom! He fucked me in the ass, so I'm still a virgin, right?!" :rofl :rofl
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Lennedsay is typing up something hot. I can tell.
:lol :lol Good call! I was typing up something that some would consider hot.
Keep in mind this girl's nickname was Gappy due to dental issues. Never saw her so I don't know what she looks like.
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Tell me about your first anal experience and I'll tell you about my big summer of ass play ;)
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Tell me about your first anal experience and I'll tell you about my big summer of ass play ;)
Aww, was it this summer?! Who was there? All of EB?! :drool
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i dream of gappy
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My stunning doctor was there. now quid pro quo, lennedsay. :hyper :hyper :hyper
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i dream of gappy
Gaping Gappy?! :spin
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i dream of gappy
Gaping Gappy?! :spin
i want to smell her scrapbook
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ooooooooooo :lol
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i dream of gappy
Gaping Gappy?! :spin
i want to smell her scrapbook
I bet it smells like a dirty diaper! :drool
Wonder if she still considers herself a virgin? The bf looked like Jesus. :lol
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The nicca's in the white house! :tauntaun
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Awesome read.