THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: GilloD on March 02, 2009, 11:24:32 PM

Title: Another work story or How I Made Judy Gold call me an asshole.
Post by: GilloD on March 02, 2009, 11:24:32 PM: So it's like 5:15. I'm at work. The heat came up around 4:30 changing the relative temperature of my office from "Fridge" to "Early Spring Chill". My phone rings. It's my boss- He has, unbeknownst to all of us, decided to sponsor a comedy show. And because of the 15 inches of snow on the ground, half of his audience didn't show up. My office mate and roommate Mike is smart enough to know what's coming out and he makes for the door. I begrudgingly agree to come and fill out the audience- They're filming for some kind of movie, so I figure, "How bad can it be?".

I walk the few blocks to the comedy club figuring I'll pick up a few comp hours and when my one year eval comes up in a month maybe this will be thing that gets me my fat raise. The one that'll raise my salary above minimum wage.

So I get there and because my boss is the man in charge I get this front-row center seat. It is precisely the place to sit if you want comedians to know that you don't find them funny or if you want them to fill the dead space of their act with inane comments about you.

I'll spare you the horrible details of the evening and skip straight to the highlights: Caroline Rhea told a lot of jokes about her tits. Not only is that gross, it isn't funny. The next comedian told jokes about how hard is to drunk drive and about how he feels bad about fucking drunk girls but "whatever". Statutory rape is hilarious!

Also, they kept the doors open the whole time. It was 9 degrees at one point. They took my jacket when I came in. I was fucking FREEZING. So cold. It's basically like a John Paul Sarte play- It's dark and cold and everything is supposed to funny, but it isn't. This goes on for OVER TWO AND A HALF HOURS

God, I'm exhausted. I think I'm getting sick. Anyway, let's get to the meat of the story: Judy Gold is a terrible fucking comedian. She is the worst. I fucking hate Judy Gold. So when Judy Gold takes the stage, I take the occasion to look like I just found out I have terminal cancer. She makes some joke about how I need to get laid or pop some pills and I am generally delighted. This is a rare opportunity.

Afterwards, I step out to take a piss and Judy Gold is in the hallway telling some dude about how "That fuck in the front row won't laugh" and "It's a fucking comedy show, what is his problem?" at which point she spies me and says, "You're a real fucking asshole".

At the very end some guy from Soul Plane told some jokes.

In short: I have never had less fun, but I would totally do it again. I hate Judy Gold.

This story makes no sense. I have a fever. But I figured I'd share. Okay enjoy f u.
Title: Re: Another work story or How I Made Judy Gold call me an asshole.
Post by: Van Cruncheon on March 02, 2009, 11:26:59 PM: :bow you :bow2
Title: Re: Another work story or How I Made Judy Gold call me an asshole.
Post by: GilloD on March 02, 2009, 11:29:12 PM: They all kept making jokes about how I looked like Harry Potter, but a nerd and how I looked like I was waiting for a math test.

I had to sign a release so hopefully I'll be in the film as "Angry looking guy #1". It must be hilarious, I'm frowning and angry and shivering the whole time.
Title: Re: Another work story or How I Made Judy Gold call me an asshole.
Post by: GilloD on March 02, 2009, 11:35:24 PM: [youtube=560,345]brLZhLxmv2Y[/youtube]

Live, there is a lot more SCREAMING and laughing at her own jokes.
Title: Re: Another work story or How I Made Judy Gold call me an asshole.
Post by: BobFromPikeCreek on March 02, 2009, 11:36:35 PM: AWESOME. I fucking hate Judy Gold. You're my hero.
Title: Re: Another work story or How I Made Judy Gold call me an asshole.
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on March 02, 2009, 11:40:07 PM: i've never heard of Judy Gold, but wikipedia tells me she is a Jewish woman so I will assume your dislike is primarily motivated by anti-semitism and/or sexism.
Title: Re: Another work story or How I Made Judy Gold call me an asshole.
Post by: GilloD on March 02, 2009, 11:41:35 PM: Quote from: recursivelyenumerable on March 02, 2009, 11:40:07 PM
i've never heard of Judy Gold, but wikipedia tells me she is a Jewish woman so I will assume your dislike is primarily motivated by anti-semitism and/or sexism.

Both! zing. Funnier than Judy Gold!
Title: Re: Another work story or How I Made Judy Gold call me an asshole.
Post by: Van Cruncheon on March 02, 2009, 11:42:26 PM: she's also a dykeasaurus
Title: Re: Another work story or How I Made Judy Gold call me an asshole.
Post by: Joe Molotov on March 02, 2009, 11:43:33 PM: Visual representation of GilloD's evening:

:piss(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v233/MastahCrushed/Emote/emot-willco.gif) :supergay:piss2
Title: Re: Another work story or How I Made Judy Gold call me an asshole.
Post by: Yeti on March 03, 2009, 01:20:36 AM: Quote from: Professor Prole on March 02, 2009, 11:42:26 PM
she's also a dykeasaurus

Reminds me of the joke "What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?"

spoiler (click to show/hide)
A Lickalottapuss.
[close]
Title: Re: Another work story or How I Made Judy Gold call me an asshole.
Post by: Eric P on March 02, 2009, 10:47:22 PM: i had never heard of this woman
Title: Re: Another work story or How I Made Judy Gold call me an asshole.
Post by: demi on March 02, 2009, 11:19:53 PM: Maybe your armpits stank
Title: Re: Another work story or How I Made Judy Gold call me an asshole.
Post by: DJ_Tet on March 02, 2009, 11:25:52 PM: God I HATE that fucking WENCH Judy Gold. 'That fuck in the front row won't laugh'

NO SHIT BITCH, CAUSE HE'S AT A COMEDY SHOW STARRING YOU!

Is she still rocking that wet curl on her face? What a horrid human being, it's a fucking shame if/that she's able to make a living at 'comedy.'

I bet she really made you appreciate Caroline Rhea, not that she's any catch either but at least she doesn't pretend do be some legendary comic. I'd almost rather see Lisa Lapignelli talking about which 'blacks' she had fucked recently. Almost.
Title: Re: Another work story or How I Made Judy Gold call me an asshole.
Post by: pollo on March 03, 2009, 10:18:36 AM: I won free tickets to see MF Doom and RJD2 and Danger Mouse was opening for him.

Well Doom didn't show up(asshole) and so I just got really drunk and when RJD2 took the set he asked what we all wanted to here and i started a "We want DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM" chant.

He was pissed.
Title: Re: Another work story or How I Made Judy Gold call me an asshole.
Post by: lordmaji on March 03, 2009, 11:31:23 AM: You're a real asshole. :P
Title: Re: Another work story or How I Made Judy Gold call me an asshole.
Post by: BlackMage on March 03, 2009, 11:38:21 AM: of course she's not funny. She a lesbian and a jew.
Title: Re: Another work story or How I Made Judy Gold call me an asshole.
Post by: bork on March 03, 2009, 12:19:28 PM: Quote from: GilloD on March 02, 2009, 11:35:24 PM
[youtube=560,345]brLZhLxmv2Y[/youtube]

Live, there is a lot more SCREAMING and laughing at her own jokes.

I saw the still and thought it was Howard Stern.

Unfunny as shit; she gives Jewish comedians a bad name.
Title: Re: Another work story or How I Made Judy Gold call me an asshole.
Post by: DJ_Tet on March 03, 2009, 01:39:29 PM: Quote from: the lyte edge on March 03, 2009, 12:19:28 PM

Unfunny as shit; she gives Jewish comedians a bad name.

She'll make Jackie Mason roll over in his grave when he dies.
Title: Re: Another work story or How I Made Judy Gold call me an asshole.
Post by: Bloodwake on March 03, 2009, 02:23:03 PM: Awesome. Good job.
Title: Re: Another work story or How I Made Judy Gold call me an asshole.
Post by: Herr Mafflard on March 03, 2009, 02:26:56 PM: Is 'Judy Gold' her real name?
Title: Re: Another work story or How I Made Judy Gold call me an asshole.
Post by: BlueTsunami on March 03, 2009, 02:28:26 PM: The silent heckle is the best kind of heckle
Title: Re: Another work story or How I Made Judy Gold call me an asshole.
Post by: lordmaji on March 03, 2009, 03:12:47 PM: omg, i couldn't watch all of that... that's fucking horrible.

What a stupid bitch. :maf