THE BORE
General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: Himu on December 19, 2011, 09:34:21 PM
-
A good starter bible for those who are too lazy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVhaTSVEnhs
Found here:
http://www.bricktestament.com/
Let's do this. What should the rules be? One book of the Bible a week or one every now and again?
-
We tried this one before. It failed. I got bogged down in Leviticus. I really don't care about what odors are pleasing to God.
-
Leviticus is really hard to get through. It's among the worst books in the whole thing.
Still, the Bible is fucking hilarious.
(http://i.imgur.com/Z6W2Q.jpg)
:rofl
-
No lets discuss badass gospel music instead
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zoii0lNpNtw
-
(http://www.bricktestament.com/genesis/god_plans_enslavement_of_abrams_descendants/07_gn15_09.jpg)
(http://www.bricktestament.com/genesis/god_plans_enslavement_of_abrams_descendants/08_gn15_10a.jpg)
(http://www.bricktestament.com/genesis/god_plans_enslavement_of_abrams_descendants/09_gn15_10b.jpg)
-
The begats should be hawt
-
(http://www.bricktestament.com/genesis/god_wants_part_of_penis_cut_off/04_gn17_09-13.jpg)
-
(http://www.bricktestament.com/genesis/god_annihilates_people_of_sodom_and_gomorrah/07_gn19_05.jpg)
-
This book is amazing.
(http://www.bricktestament.com/genesis/lot_raped_by_his_daughters/02_gn19_31-32.jpg)
(http://www.bricktestament.com/genesis/lot_raped_by_his_daughters/07_gn_35b.jpg)
(http://www.bricktestament.com/genesis/lot_raped_by_his_daughters/08_gn19_36.jpg)
-
:rofl
-
Going through the New Testament atm. The plan I'm on is like three chapters a day.
That Brick Testament thing is hilarious.
-
Only good part of the bible is the early old testament stuff. NT sucks worse than the Star Wars prequels and you get into Leviticus and shit just falls apart, though there are also some hilarious parts.
-
Instead, everyone should read Letters from the Earth by Mark Twain. More entertaining and better written. (http://www.positiveatheism.org/hist/twainlfe.htm)
-
old testament god was a fuckin trollface
-
old testament god was a fuckin trollface
"Dude, I totally need you to kill your only son."
"WTF God, that shit is not cool!"
"DO IT!"
"Alright, you're God and shit there must be a good reason."
"lol just kiddin"
-
I love how he promises to never kill everything on the planet in a catastrophic natural event again and gives us the RAINBOW as a promise of this pact, and reminder that hey - I'm not a slaughterer of my children anymore, okay guys? And in the SAME FUCKING BOOK (of Genesis) he goes on to obliterate Sodom and Gomorrah cuz' like they a lil' hanky panky.
-
Rainbows are so assuring; every time I see one I think, hey, at least God isn't going to kill me!
-
:lol
-
Weird, everytime I see a rainbow I think "man, somewhere two unicorns are fucking."
-
No no, rainbows are from unicorn vomit not seminal discharge.
-
Only good part of the bible is the early old testament stuff. NT sucks worse than the Star Wars prequels and you get into Leviticus and shit just falls apart, though there are also some hilarious parts.
The New Testament is a lot like Xenogears Disc 2 in that they clearly ran out of time and budget in the middle of making it. So they took the only parts they really had done - the main Gospel story and Revelations - and padded it out with a bunch of alternate Gospel outtakes and a bunch of random letters and so on.
-
Yeah, any omnipotent God should be able to leave a better fucking document of things really. There are 12 year olds on twitter who make more sense.
-
I appreciate the mythology of the thing. Although, sorta like lord of the rings; most of the cool lore is found in other, auxiliary writings and the main popular piece is just a big, dumb story. WHY DIDN'T THE EAGLES JUST FLY JESUS AWAY FROM HIS JEW KILLERS HUH
-
Look, I believe in a God but uh, the bible seems like horseshit written by a bunch of dudes to shape the world in their image.
I also think it's MASSIVELY fucked up that people ignore all these evil things in the bible.
But don't you see? The OT doesn't count. Except it kinda does because Jesus even says that he's there to CONFIRM the OT to be true. The God of the Bible is a bi-polar mad man who acts like a child playing with ants. Christians haven't read the Bible; that's how they excuse the evil shit - simple. I read the Bible when I was a teenager and rejected my Christian faith soon afterward.
Warning, Green Man: the Bible is among the biggest things that leads to non-belief.
-
But few are as entertaining as this one.
-
I love how he promises to never kill everything on the planet in a catastrophic natural event again and gives us the RAINBOW as a promise of this pact, and reminder that hey - I'm not a slaughterer of my children anymore, okay guys? And in the SAME FUCKING BOOK (of Genesis) he goes on to obliterate Sodom and Gomorrah cuz' like they a lil' hanky panky.
There's a perfectly reasonable explanation for that - what G was actually promising is that he wouldn't massacre humanity in that particular way (yes, this is seriously how people rationalise it).
Best part is pointing out that the whole 'thou shalt not kill' thing is an obvious crock, and getting ' ::) obviously kill means murder' in response - which is unhelpful to say the least, as the book gives no instruction as to how to tell the difference (until you discover, of course, that killing only counts as murder when it's a jew - killing anybody else is inadvisable but not forbidden).
-
ordered this, 10 dollars on Amazon- why not
-
I love how Jacob is favored by god when he tricked his brother Esau into becoming the favored one because of Esau's dark skin :lol And then his daughter Dinah is raped by the king's son, so they offer a pact; circumcise your penises and you may marry my daughter and we will become one nation! So his son's come in to town after everything is fine and everyone's dicks have been mutilated, and murder EVERY ONE and take all the women as wives/slaves, and plunder the entire city of everything of value.
And these are god's chosen people :rofl
Jews :rofl
-
I can't wait to get to the part where god orders Moses to kill every single person EVER within the vicinity including women and children
It will be glorious :rofl
-
I love the bible. I also love when you meet a devout religious person who obviously has never read it and my agnostic ass can slam dunk their own religion in their face. The biggest excuse I've heard from people who their religious text backfires in their face is "my version of the bible doesn't say that" while they're completely unaware that A) That script isn't any different in any of the translations and B) Your copy is the King James Version just like the one I read! Huh!
-
Quran > The Bible easily even if a lot of its stories were ripped from the Bible :rofl
-
I've never read that Quran but it was my understanding (seeing how they worship the same God) that the stories weren't ripped from the bible but that they were actually telling a lot of the same stories.
-
I have a koran somewhere... Maybe Christmas is just the right time to dive into it proper.
-
I once rolled cigs from bible paper when I was out of paper, since its paper is so thin and nice.
This is also the best thing about the bible.
-
Why would you read the Bible? Most Christians don't even do that.
-
Why would you read the Bible?
(http://www.bricktestament.com/genesis/lot_raped_by_his_daughters/02_gn19_31-32.jpg)
(http://www.bricktestament.com/genesis/lot_raped_by_his_daughters/07_gn_35b.jpg)
(http://www.bricktestament.com/genesis/lot_raped_by_his_daughters/08_gn19_36.jpg)
^
-
Canaan gets cursed for no reason! No reason at all!
What a bunch of fuck.
-
Is that a real story from the bible?
Im serious.
-
yep
-
Is that a real story from the bible?
Im serious.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lot_(biblical_person)#Lot_and_his_daughters
-
Is that a real story from the bible?
Im serious.
you've never read the story of lot? oh man, there's some doozies
-
He doesn't read a lot.
-
:lol
-
I don't understand, if Lot was so drunk that he couldn't even remember being raped by his daughters, how was he able to get it up in order to impregnate them? Especially since he was old and probably already having difficulties in that department.
-
They're not called "The Chosen People" for nothing...
-
What do you mean?
(http://i54.tinypic.com/2lln56q.jpg)
All the times Ive been to church with my grandparents Ive never heard any stories like the ones I'm reading. It was all "love thy self and those around you, do good deeds" and not "rape your old man to keep the bloodline going". Has the bible been rewritten to exclude all this shit or what?
I'm having doubts about this whole God/Jesus thing.
Christians gloss over stuff and many haven't even read the Bible. Such is the case of moderates. All of this stuff is in the Bible.
-
And that's not even getting into all the dumb shit, like if Moses kept 2 of everything alive, he and his family were fucking LOUSY with bacteria and germs and shit.
-
Biggest revelation for me recently was finding out that at least early on the religion is not monotheistic. There are lots of Gods in the bible and they're only 'false' gods in the sense that Jews aren't supposed to worship them (that's what the covenant they made with G is all about - it's an exclusivity deal). It's not like the text denies they exist or says they really demons or something - they're real, just weaker and it's sinful to worship them. Lot of the references are excised but you don't need to be a superscholar to spot them and it's really not some reptoid-style conspiracy about the book or anything. Once it's been pointed out and you read the early parts you can't go back.
Good primer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlnnWbkMlbg
-
My favorite bible story is still the story of Joseph. I just fucking LOVE THE SHIT OUT OF IT. I don't know why!
-
Biggest revelation for me recently was finding out that at least early on the religion is not monotheistic. There are lots of Gods in the bible and they're only 'false' gods in the sense that Jews aren't supposed to worship them (that's what the covenant they made with G is all about - it's an exclusivity deal). It's not like the text denies they exist or says they really demons or something - they're real, just weaker and it's sinful to worship them. Lot of the references are excised but you don't need to be a superscholar to spot them and it's really not some reptoid-style conspiracy about the book or anything. Once it's been pointed out and you read the early parts you can't go back.
The Jews were originally pagan, so it makes sense.
-
My favorite bible story is still the story of Joseph. I just fucking LOVE THE SHIT OUT OF IT. I don't know why!
...because his amazing technicolor dreamcoat is just faaaaaabulous and you're a big ol figgurt?
-
This thread :lol
-
My favorite bible story is still the story of Joseph. I just fucking LOVE THE SHIT OUT OF IT. I don't know why!
...because his amazing technicolor dreamcoat is just faaaaaabulous and you're a big ol figgurt?
Yes. Well, no. But it's just awesome how the eunich's wife keeps pressuring him to "have his way" with her. It's hilarious :lol
-
Dreamcoat? Thought it was a Dreamcast. Interest dead.
-
best damn thread :lol
-
Biggest revelation for me recently was finding out that at least early on the religion is not monotheistic. There are lots of Gods in the bible and they're only 'false' gods in the sense that Jews aren't supposed to worship them (that's what the covenant they made with G is all about - it's an exclusivity deal). It's not like the text denies they exist or says they really demons or something - they're real, just weaker and it's sinful to worship them. Lot of the references are excised but you don't need to be a superscholar to spot them and it's really not some reptoid-style conspiracy about the book or anything. Once it's been pointed out and you read the early parts you can't go back.
Good primer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlnnWbkMlbg
I counter with the atheists' nightmare
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2z-OLG0KyR4
-
"You are my blood-bridegroom!" :rofl
-
Seem like blockheads.
-
Is that a real story from the bible?
Im serious.
you've never read the story of lot? oh man, there's some doozies
Im pretty sure these stories never got covered in school religion classes :lol
Thats insane.
-
He doesn't read a lot.
Maybe I don't read a lot and I don't know the story of Job specifically but I read this one and passed a uni exam on it.
(http://images.amazon.com/images/P/0674015177.jpg)
-
I love how god hardens Pharaoh's heart. Yeah, create beings with free will, and be a dick by removing it just to prove yourself as "honorable". Why is god worth worshipping if he has the audacity to take away our free will just to "prove" something. What's so special about hebrews over all other god's children? This story is distinguished mentally-challenged.
The whole thing is stupid. Were the writer's of the OT distinguished mentally-challenged? Anyone with a modicum of intelligence and taste for history knows that Egypt was a culture hub during these years and they documented history like mother fuckers and this could easily refute the "historicity" of the Hebrew slavery years. Egypt was a settle land with among the greatest scientists and philosopher's with a penchant for history, the arts, and penmanship. Why did they choose EGYPT as the basis for the story? People in Egypt could READ AND WRITE. During the period of time that the bible claims that the Hebrews were in Egypt, the factual Egyptian population statistics by way of census totaled around three million.
The Jewish population given in the bible totaled around 2 million.
If 2 million people up and left Egypt, this would take away a tremendous amount of resources and the Egyptians recorded EVERY SINGLE THING, especially things that went to and fro between their country but there's no documented report that 2 million people just up and left Egypt.
Further still, god created plague after plague, and allowed the Israelites to plunder Egypt, and Egypt were left with no more pharaoh. None of this is documented and this is yeaaaaaaars before the plunder and destruction Alexandria or Egypt via war. Even when god does his magic like making the Nile turn into blood, Pharaoh's magicians can do it too! If this story is real, then how come modern "magicians" can't do what people were able to do 3000 years ago? BUBUBUBUBU-ING.
The Jews were never in Egypt to begin with. Even archeologists say that the people who made the pyramids weren't slaves at all, but laymen, just citizens.
Not to mention, notice how small the world is in the Bible. During this period of time in history, the Greeks and the Romans were at the top of their game, China was a hub for scholarship, philosophy, the arts, and culture.
Yet god gives a lowly desert tribe who can't even read a book about their triumphs? L.O.L.
tldr; The Jews were never in Egypt to begin with :rofl
-
Yet god gives a lowly desert tribe who can't even read a book about their triumphs? L.O.L.
someone had to teach those muthafuckas to read.
via a fairytale starring their people
-
I like how god blackens Pharaoh's heart, making him stubborn and incapable of saying no to god, so on the night before the hebrews leave egypt he just goes and kills the first born of everyone. To make matters more hilarious, in order to ward off this curse, you have to dap the blood of your food for that night on the door frame of your house, and eat it in an EXACT, SPECIFIC WAY. Or else you'll be cursed!
And then even when Pharaoh gives up and has lost EVERYTHING, god hardens his heart even FURTHER and makes Pharaoh and his top guards chase after Moses and the Israelites, and drowns them.
THAT'S THE KICKER. Pharaoh was willing to let the Israelites go MANY, MANY TIMES BEFORE THIS, but God refused to let Pharaoh make his own decision, and decided to prolong the release of the Israelites and bring about the utter humiliation of the Egyptians for his own "honorable" purposes.
Consider what all happens in the bible, then pick up ANY book on Classic Egyptian history during their apex.
Then laugh and gawk.
-
I think my copy arrives today! *excited*
-
I think my copy arrives today! *excited*
Which version do you have? King James' is overrated I heard
-
He ordered the brick testament and king james version isn't overrated by a stretch. it really is the best version.
-
actually there was recently a new norwegian translation published. people camped out for the launch. Apparently it focused mainly on removing outdated words that young people wouldn't understand (hypothetical english example; harlot is exchanged for whore, etc). Which I am not fond of. I learned a fair few fancy old timey words at sunday school.
-
Brick Testament is the only good version of the bible
-
actually there was recently a new norwegian translation published. people camped out for the launch. Apparently it focused mainly on removing outdated words that young people wouldn't understand (hypothetical english example; harlot is exchanged for whore, etc). Which I am not fond of. I learned a fair few fancy old timey words at sunday school.
(http://i.imgur.com/jiwiP.jpg)
-
How is the new testament a retcon?
-
New Testament is NOT a retcon. Jesus is there to CONFIRM THE OT IS TRUE.
Christians just ignore this because they have not read their book as a whole, because they like to ignore the evil shit that occurs in the OT.
-
I don't fucking know. :lol
-
Old Testament: Original
New Testament: Retcon
Book of Mormon: Fanfic
-
Edit: Not to mention the whole "God hates fegs!" shit. Fuck, that's probably my strongest example.
But this IS in the Bible.
The thing is, wearing clothing that's made of more than one type of cloth is just as sinful as homosex according to the bible, in the very same chapter no less, to my memory.
Old Testament: Original
New Testament: Retcon
Book of Mormon: Fanfic
Where does this put the Quran?
-
Why does god punish the israelites for demanding meat? he has them walking through the desert for an eternity. He creates the planet in 6 days but for some reason, every time he has to do something important, people have to wait 40 days for fucking stone tablets and he gets pissed they're antsy because all they have to eat is a bunch of shitty bread and damns them for walking through the desert for 40 years? :lol Why do jews worship this guy? :lol
-
Just like lower class Republicans, the lower class Christians need to take what the elite give them (bread, minimum wage jobs) and STFU. If you complain you'll get beat with a stick
-
I'd say it makes more sense to be Christian or Muslim than Jewish because the Jews only have the Torah (Old Testament) and god treats them like shit and they're his chosen people :lol
-
Most Jewish people I've met seem to define themselves by their suffering. And they're always ultra paranoid about the next mass murder of their people
-
Nonsense never makes any sense himumu, no matter the degree.
I'm just saying :lol
-
Most Jewish people I've met seem to define themselves by their suffering. And they're always ultra paranoid about the next mass murder of their people
Blacks and jews really are similar. :lol
-
Yahweh is like the original troll or some shit
-
*shrug* I've never been around any other ethnic group that flaunts it the way Jews do. They're the only ethnic group I've met who bring up things that happened a thousand years ago as a sign of their persecution. Most others have gotten over that by now.
-
The thing about other groups is that at least there's documented cases of their mistreatment. There is literally zero proof the jews were slaves in Egypt aside from the bible, which isn't a good metric for historical accounts when it has talking snakes and burning bushes.
-
The jews cut chunks of their dicks off and that's on a good day for them. I think it's clear who's used to suffering.
-
Sounds like Christians to be honest. Gays are gay to piss off God. Satan made all those dirty movies to distract you from being part of God's flock. Atheists don't exist. Everyone is agnostic at best and they're just doing it to be dicks.
-
As much as I think the creation of Israel is a crock of shit, one of the biggest things that disgusted me during my interest in the islam faith was muslim treatment of jewish establishments. Like, they'll go on about how islam is a religion of peace, and then demand you boycott Kinko's or some shit because they support israel and those filthy, filthy jews. :lol
-
I can't imagine what black people say about white people behind their backs.
Nothing nearly as bad as what white people say about blacks behind their backs. :shh
-
Himuro wants me to post in this thread because I'm a Jew.
I'm not going to post in this thread.
-
I want ANSWERS.
-
How many israelites does god kill while in the desert?
edit:
For dancing naked around Aaron's golden calf - 3000
Aaron's sons for offering strange fire before the Lord - 2
A Blasphemer - 1
A man who picked up sticks on the Sabbath - 1
Korah, Dathan, and Abiram (and their families) - 12
Burned to death for offering incense - 250
For complaining - 14,700
So far that's 17,966
-
It's no better than we deserve :'(
-
I'm on the part where the Israelites massacre entire cities - men, women, and children - without mercy. Yahweh hardens the heart of a local ruler, denying them free will, Israelites ask to pass through, the ruler says no cuz god decided to take away their free will and make them stubborn, god curses them in return, and the israelites precede to massacre every single person.
Fuckin' metal. :rock
-
LET MY PEOPLE GO CRAZY!
fixed
-
I like how the best that Yahweh can do for a weapon for the Jews is a box that if you carry it around a city 7 times and then yell will make the walls fall down. Personally, if that's the best you can do for a weapon then you're not a God I care to worship, bitch tits.
-
Yeah, notice how Yahweh's powers recede as the tale goes on. The guy goes from creating a planet and all life in six days to plagues involving frogs and blood to stone tablets to an ark that has to be carried all the time. Makes sense that the best he can do these days is appear in clouds and show his son's face on a piece of toast.
-
the greek gods > all of the monotheistic gods
-
Yea the Greek gods were flawed but way more approachable.
-
monotheistic gods are boring by necessity though. how do you make omnipotence interesting? It's the same thing all the time and it can't be flawed because there is no other gods to balance it out. Norse, Greek, Hindu, Shinto etc have pantheons rich of different characters. much more fun. Which is also why the angel/demon hierarchy is the more interesting bit of Abrahamistic monotheism.
-
Superior remake!
Quran is Reboot/Reimagining
-
The angel/demon hierarchy was mostly created after the initial texts were created though.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_angelic_hierarchy
-
STILL COUNTS
-
Dante's Divine Comedy and Paradise Lost > every single bit of monotheistic mythology except for maybe Santa
-
fan fics like paradise lost and dante's comedy are better than the original work too. those count as well.
edit: I wrote this before I saw you did! :maf
-
fan fics like paradise lost and dante's comedy are better than the original work too. those count as well.
Yeah that's what I said.
-
For dancing naked around Aaron's golden calf - 3000
Aaron's sons for offering strange fire before the Lord - 2
A Blasphemer - 1
A man who picked up sticks on the Sabbath - 1
Korah, Dathan, and Abiram (and their families) - 12
Burned to death for offering incense - 250
For complaining - 14,700
So far that's 17,966
Add 24,000 more Israelites for fraternizing (aka fucking) with Moabite and Midianite women on top of worshipping their god.
-
Not to mention, notice how small the world is in the Bible. During this period of time in history, the Greeks and the Romans were at the top of their game,
The earliest references to the exodus story come up in Israel in the 8th century BC, so a mythical exodus from Egypt would have taken place quite some time before that. Roman myth doesn't even have Rome founded until 753 BC, with the Roman Republic not founded until around 509 BC, and Roman hegemony in Italy in the 3rd Century BC. Not quite "at the top of their game" in the same timeframe, himumumu. :P
-
True enough boogs, wrong choice of words, but doesn't take away from my over all point.
-
monotheistic gods are boring by necessity though. how do you make omnipotence interesting? It's the same thing all the time and it can't be flawed because there is no other gods to balance it out. Norse, Greek, Hindu, Shinto etc have pantheons rich of different characters. much more fun. Which is also why the angel/demon hierarchy is the more interesting bit of Abrahamistic monotheism.
also why superman is boring
-
monotheistic gods are boring by necessity though. how do you make omnipotence interesting? It's the same thing all the time and it can't be flawed because there is no other gods to balance it out. Norse, Greek, Hindu, Shinto etc have pantheons rich of different characters. much more fun. Which is also why the angel/demon hierarchy is the more interesting bit of Abrahamistic monotheism.
also why superman is boring
PhoenixDark liked this post
-
GO MOSES
GENOCIDE :rock
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_wilderness/massacre_of_the_midianites/nm31_17.jpg)
-
Moses coolest lookin Lego dude
-
:rock GENOCIDE :rock
:rock BARBARISM :rock
The Bible is a fine example of morality and TOTALLY relevant in the 21st century!
:bow
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_wilderness/instructions_for_genocide/dt07_02.jpg)
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_wilderness/instructions_for_genocide/dt07_03.jpg)
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_wilderness/instructions_for_genocide/dt07_05p12_03.jpg)
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_wilderness/instructions_for_genocide/dt20_16-17.jpg)
-
GO MOSES
GENOCIDE :rock
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_wilderness/massacre_of_the_midianites/nm31_17.jpg)
This thread (and thus the bible) keeps on giving.
What a shit book jesus.
Moses sounds lik Bin Laden.
-
Moses takes no shit.
-
God shows up and talks to Moses and Joshua face to face!
When the Israelites are slaves of the Egyptians and Yahweh uses the plagues on the Pharaoh, the Egyptians use magicians (:lol :lol :lol) to mimic Yahweh's plagues. They can turn the Nile into blood and make frogs appear from it as well. :rofl
So if the world used to be a land of magic of sorcery, what the hell happened? The world is more small now that we can fly across the world in just a few hours time or have the internet that allows us to see what's happening on the opposite end of the world. Yet...no more magic? Hmmmm...curious!
-
What about Magic Jonhson huh?
-
Magic Johnson is an extremely rich man who is "blessed" with the fortune of being an NBA hall of famer.
I see no miracles. Miracles as explained by the bible, are supernatural events that defy explanation. Every thing in our natural world can be explained, provided science is there to examine it. Today's "miracles" seem to border between the lines of vanity (Tebow) and naivety/idiocy (Jesus' face in a cloud/piece of toast).
-
what about the time george bush prayed to god and god said it was ok to blow up iraq
-
Pope is full of shit.
-
Someday we as a society will move past JudeoChristianity guys. Just give it time.
-
I have no problem with Judeo-Christian-Islamic crap so long as it doesn't affect politics/legislature. Except it does.
-
I don't get Catholicism. There's no basis for popes in the bible; I know they focus on Peter getting the keys to heaven or whatever, but then they turn it into some Indiana Jones shit with him passing them from dude to dude for thousands of years? smh
-
This is the best Bible I've ever seen.
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/beastiality/lv18_23a.jpg)
Leviticus 18:23
'Do not have sex with any kind of animal. You would become unclean by doing so.'
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/beastiality/ex22_18.jpg)
Exodus 22:18
'Any man who has sex with an animal, is certainly to be put to death.'
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/beastiality/lv20_15.jpg)
Leviticus 20:15
'Put the animal to death as well.'
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/beastiality/lv18_23b.jpg)
Leviticus 18:23
'Neither should a woman present herself to an animal for sex. It is a perversion.'
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/beastiality/lv20_16.jpg)
Leviticus 20:16
'If a woman approaches an animal to have sex with it, kill the woman and the animal. They are certainly to be put to death. Their blood is on their own heads.'
-
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/incest/lv18_09.jpg)
Leviticus 18:9
'Do not have sex with your sister. Whether she was born in the same house or elsewhere, do not have sex with her.'
How did Adam and Eve's children have families then? What about Noah and his children? They're the only ones after the flood! What about Lot?!
edit:
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/rape/dt22_28a.jpg)
Deuteronomy 22:28
'If a man happens to meet a virgin woman who is not engaged to be married...'
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/rape/dt22_28b.jpg)
Deuteronomy 22:28
'...And he seizes her and rapes her...'
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/rape/dt22_28c.jpg)
Deuteronomy 22:28
'...but is caught in the act...'
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/rape/dt22_29a.jpg)
Deuteronomy 22:29
'...the rapist must pay the girl's father fifty silver shekels.'
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/rape/dt22_29b.jpg)
Deuteronomy 22:29
'She must marry the rapist, because he has violated her. And so long as he lives, he may not divorce her.'
:rofl :rofl :rofl
-
The Bible: Surprisingly Cool With Rape!
-
GO MOSES
GENOCIDE :rock
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_wilderness/massacre_of_the_midianites/nm31_17.jpg)
:rofl
-
:rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/prisoners_of_war/dt21_10a.jpg)
Deuteronomy 21:10
'When you go to war against your enemies...'
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/prisoners_of_war/dt21_10b.jpg)
Deuteronomy 21:10
'...and you take prisoners...'
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/prisoners_of_war/dt20_13.jpg)
Deuteronomy 20:13
'...put the entire male population to death.'
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/prisoners_of_war/dt21_11.jpg)
Deuteronomy 21:11
'If among the prisoners you see a beautiful woman, and you are attracted to her...'
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/prisoners_of_war/dt21_11-12.jpg)
Deuteronomy 21:11-12
'...you may take her as a wife.'
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/prisoners_of_war/dt21_12-13.jpg)
Deuteronomy 21:12-13
'Bring her into your home, shave her head, cut her nails, and take off her prisoner's garb.'
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/prisoners_of_war/dt21_13a.jpg)
Deuteronomy 21:13
'She must stay inside your house and mourn for her father and mother for a full month.'
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/prisoners_of_war/dt21_13b.jpg)
Deuteronomy 21:13
'After that, you may have sex with her.'
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/prisoners_of_war/dt21_14a.jpg)
Deuteronomy 21:14
'Should she not please you...'
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/prisoners_of_war/dt21_14b.jpg)
Deuteronomy 21:14
'...you will let her go where she wishes. Do not sell her for money or treat her as a slave, since you have dishonored her.'
:rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl
-
What does Allah say about rape, Himu? Is there an equivalent chapter in the Quran?
If I remember it's certainly a heck of a lot more punishing towards than the Bible, but allows a loophole.
-
Does the book include the bible verses, or the bubble captions?
-
Both
-
So what do you think guys, is the Pope full of shit or does he really believe he can talk to God?
Since the Popes word is as good as Gods, what if the Pope said God didn't exist?
He probably uses his "God time" to masturbate
-
Deuteronomy 21:13
'After that, you may have sex with her.'
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/prisoners_of_war/dt21_14a.jpg)
Deuteronomy 21:14
'Should she not please you...'
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/prisoners_of_war/dt21_14b.jpg)
Deuteronomy 21:14
'...you will let her go where she wishes. Do not sell her for money or treat her as a slave, since you have dishonored her.'
:rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl
How can she please that.
-
Notice how it's mostly concentrating on men and male desires. Most of these are based solely around when the man can finally dump his load into a poor virgin girl's front hole.
-
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/female_infidelity/nm05_14p13.jpg)
Numbers 5:14, 13
'If a husband becomes suspicious that his wife has had sex with another man, though he did not catch her in the act...'
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/female_infidelity/nm05_14-15.jpg)
Numbers 5:14-15
'...even if she is innocent and his jealousy and suspicions are groundless, he will bring his wife before the priest.'
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/female_infidelity/nm05_17.jpg)
Numbers 5:17
'The priest will put some holy water in an earthen vessel and put some dust from the floor into the water.'
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/female_infidelity/nm05_18-19.jpg)
Numbers 5:18-19
'The priest will unbind the woman's hair, put her on oath, and say to her, "If no other man has had sex with you, may this bitter water do you no harm."'
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/female_infidelity/nm05_20p22.jpg)
Numbers 5:20, 22
'"But if you have had sex with a man while under your husband's authority, may this water enter your bowels and make your belly swell and your sexual organs shrivel."
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/female_infidelity/nm05_26.jpg)
Numbers 5:26
'Then he will make the woman drink the water.'
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/female_infidelity/nm05_28.jpg)
Numbers 5:28
'If she has not made herself unclean, then she will be unharmed and will be able to bear children.'
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/female_infidelity/nm05_27.jpg)
Numbers 5:27
'But if it is true that she has had sex with another man, her belly will swell, her sex organs will shrivel, and she will become accursed among her people.'
??? ??? ??? ??? ???
-
So what do you think guys, is the Pope full of shit or does he really believe he can talk to God?
Since the Popes word is as good as Gods, what if the Pope said God didn't exist?
He probably uses his "God time" to masturbate
bashing the bishop: something in common with atheists
Notice how it's mostly concentrating on men and male desires. Most of these are based solely around when the man can finally dump his load into a poor virgin girl's front hole.
And?
-
I think we've finally figured out why Malek REALLY can't ever get a girlfriend.
-
:lol
-
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/false_prophets/dt13_01.jpg)
Deuteronomy 13:1
'If a prophet arises among you offering some sign or wonder...'
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/false_prophets/dt13_02.jpg)
Deuteronomy 13:2
'...and if he then tells you to follow other gods and worship them...'
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/false_prophets/dt13_03-04.jpg)
Deuteronomy 13:3-4
'Do not listen to that prophet's words. Yahweh your God is testing you to find out if you love him with all your heart and soul.'
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/false_prophets/dt13_06.jpg)
Deuteronomy 13:6
'That prophet must be put to death. You must banish this evil from among you.'
:lol
edit:
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/religious_tolerance/dt13_13-15.jpg)
Deuteronomy 13:13-15
'If you hear that in one of the towns, there are men who are telling people to go and worship other gods, it is your duty to look into the matter and examine it.'
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/religious_tolerance/dt13_15-16.jpg)
Deuteronomy 13:15-16
'If it is proved and confirmed, you must put the inhabitants of that town to the sword.'
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/religious_tolerance/dt13_16.jpg)
Deuteronomy 13:16
'You must lay the town under the curse of destruction, the town and everything in it.'
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/religious_tolerance/dt13_17a.jpg)
Deuteronomy 13:17
'You must pile up all its loot in the public square and burn the town and all its loot.'
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/religious_tolerance/dt13_17b.jpg)
Deuteronomy 13:17
'That town is to be a ruin for all time, and never rebuilt.'
-
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/why_to_keep_the_law/dt28_15.jpg)
Deuteronomy 28:15
'If you are not careful to keep all of Yahweh's laws...'
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/why_to_keep_the_law/dt28_21p30.jpg)
Deuteronomy 28:21, 30
'...then all of the following curses will befall and overtake you. Though you will get engaged to marry a woman...'
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/why_to_keep_the_law/dt28_30.jpg)
Deuteronomy 28:30
'...another man will rape her.'
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/why_to_keep_the_law/dt28_63p27.jpg)
Deuteronomy 28:63, 27
'Yahweh will take delight in ruining and destroying you. He will afflict you with hemorrhoids, scurvy, and the itch, and you will find no cure.'
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/why_to_keep_the_law/dt28_35p27.jpg)
Deuteronomy 28:35, 27
'Yahweh will strike you with foul ulcers, boils, and tumors from which there will be no cure, from the sole of your foot to the top of your head.'
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/why_to_keep_the_law/dt28_28.jpg)
Deuteronomy 28:28
'Yahweh will strike you with madness, blindness, and confusion until you grope your way around at noon like a blind man groping in the dark, and your steps lead you nowhere.'
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/why_to_keep_the_law/lv26_22.jpg)
Leviticus 26:22
'Yahweh will send wild animals to attack you.'
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/why_to_keep_the_law/dt28_53.jpg)
Deuteronomy 28:53
'You will eat the flesh of your own sons and daughters.'
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/why_to_keep_the_law/dt28_22.jpg)
Deuteronomy 28:22
'Yahweh will strike you down with consumption, fever, rash, drought, blight, and mildew. And these will pursue you until your ruin.'
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/why_to_keep_the_law/dt28_45.jpg)
Deuteronomy 28:45
'All of these curses will befall you for not having obeyed the voice of Yahweh your God by keeping his laws which he has laid down for you.'
:rofl
-
gods work is done, time for a cup o joe
-
gods work is done, time for a cup o joe
"Mine coffee is the only thing I like integrated"
-
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/male_genital_injury/dt23_01a.jpg)
Deuteronomy 23:1
'A man whose testicles have been crushed...'
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/male_genital_injury/dt23_01b.jpg)
Deuteronomy 23:1
'...or whose penis has been cut off...'
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/male_genital_injury/dt23_01c.jpg)
Deuteronomy 23:1
'...must not be admitted to the congregation of Yahweh.'
-
I think this can work without captions.
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/following_your_own_moral_compass/dt29_19.jpg)
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/following_your_own_moral_compass/dt29_20a.jpg)
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/following_your_own_moral_compass/dt29_20b.jpg)
-
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/proof_of_virginity/dt22_13.jpg)
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/proof_of_virginity/dt22_13-14.jpg)
. . .
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/proof_of_virginity/dt22_20.jpg)
-
Waiting for god to smite me. Waiting. Waiiiiiii-
-
Did your husband find out you weren't a virgin?
-
Who says that the Bible is antiquated.
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/lending_money/ex22_24.jpg) (http://www.bricktestament.com/the_law/lending_money/dt23_21.jpg)
-
DON'T CHARGE JEWS INTEREST
-
(http://www.bricktestament.com/judges/gang_rape_and_dismemberment/jg19_22.jpg) (http://www.bricktestament.com/judges/gang_rape_and_dismemberment/jg19_23.jpg)
(http://www.bricktestament.com/judges/gang_rape_and_dismemberment/jg19_24.jpg) (http://www.bricktestament.com/judges/gang_rape_and_dismemberment/jg19_25a.jpg)
(http://www.bricktestament.com/judges/gang_rape_and_dismemberment/jg19_25b.jpg) (http://www.bricktestament.com/judges/gang_rape_and_dismemberment/jg19_25-26.jpg)
(http://www.bricktestament.com/judges/gang_rape_and_dismemberment/jg19_27-28.jpg) (http://www.bricktestament.com/judges/gang_rape_and_dismemberment/jg19_29a.jpg)
-
Which story did you just post, Malek?
A deleted scene from A New Hope
-
Judges 19:1
And now I'm going to sleep
1 Corinthians 1:21
(http://www.bricktestament.com/epistles/on_wisdom/02_1c01_21p18.jpg) (http://www.bricktestament.com/epistles/on_wisdom/04_1c01_22b.jpg)
(http://www.bricktestament.com/epistles/on_wisdom/05_1c01_23.jpg) (http://www.bricktestament.com/epistles/on_wisdom/06_1c01_26.jpg)
(http://www.bricktestament.com/epistles/on_wisdom/07_1c01_26.jpg) (http://www.bricktestament.com/epistles/on_wisdom/08_1c01_27.jpg)
-
Notice how hell isn't even brought up early in the story, god kills people himself or has someone do it for him. Hmmm, wonder why? Maybe hell is made up leverage to make people believe?
Pascal's Wager in image form.
-
:rofl :rofl
Holy fuck I'm picking this up from Barnes and Noble tonight
-
i love asking christians to point out where in the bible i can find the story about satan betraying god and being cast out to rule hell :lol iirc there is no mention of satan or the devil at all, and hell comes from a story about a lake of fire. i always assumed the catholic church made that up to keep people in line.
-
Satan is described in the book of Job and all throughout the New Testament. And he's referenced (not specifically by name) as adversary, serpent, etc throughout the Old Testament. But the story about him being God's righthand man in the book of Job and IIRC him being cast out of Heaven is somewhere in The New Testament (only read the New Testament once cuz it's a snore).
Edit: Found it. In Luke and Revelations.
"And there was war in heaven: Michael and his angels fought against the dragon; and the dragon fought and his angels, And prevailed not; neither was their place found any more in heaven. And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him"
-
Either way, Paradise Lost is the only literature worth reading about the war between God and Satan.
-
i love asking christians to point out where in the bible i can find the story about satan betraying god and being cast out to rule hell :lol iirc there is no mention of satan or the devil at all, and hell comes from a story about a lake of fire. i always assumed the catholic church made that up to keep people in line.
A lot of people assume Satan rules hell, and all of this stuff. The modern idea of hell is mostly due to post-biblical literature, notably Dante's Divine Comedy. In the bible, to my memory, hell is only described a lake of fire and Satan isn't its ruler.
-
Satan isn't even cast into hell IIRC. He's cast to earth. Some also say he was cast out of heaven twice.
-
Yeah, they're never specific.
-
Satan isn't in hell, he's in the second heaven. It's pretty specific
-
Really? It's been a long time. I remember them saying he was cast down to Earth plenty of times, though. But Earth isn't second heaven so whatevah.
-
I haven't been to bible school in ages but yea:
Third heaven: God's throne
----water above firmament-----
Second heaven: space
First heaven: Earth's atmosphere
----water on earth-----------------
-
(http://www.thebricktestament.com/king_saul/messenger_boy_of_doom/1s03_11-12.jpg)(http://www.thebricktestament.com/king_saul/messenger_boy_of_doom/1s03_13-14.jpg)
(http://www.thebricktestament.com/king_saul/messenger_boy_of_doom/1s03_18a.jpg)(http://www.thebricktestament.com/king_saul/messenger_boy_of_doom/1s03_18b.jpg)
-
(http://www.bricktestament.com/king_saul/saul_rejected_for_incomplete_genocide/1s15_18-19.jpg)(http://www.bricktestament.com/king_saul/saul_rejected_for_incomplete_genocide/1s15_20.jpg)
(http://www.bricktestament.com/king_saul/saul_rejected_for_incomplete_genocide/1s15_22.jpg)(http://www.bricktestament.com/king_saul/saul_rejected_for_incomplete_genocide/1s15_32a.jpg)
(http://www.bricktestament.com/king_saul/saul_rejected_for_incomplete_genocide/1s15_33.jpg)(http://www.bricktestament.com/king_saul/saul_rejected_for_incomplete_genocide/1s15_34.jpg)
-
Listen to this album while reading The Bible.
KILL EM ALL
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4nCy5CITc8
:rock (http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41CR3B4Y98L._SL500_AA300_.jpg) :rock
-
(http://www.bricktestament.com/king_saul/jonathans_feelings_for_david/1s18_02.jpg)
(http://www.bricktestament.com/king_saul/jonathans_feelings_for_david/1s18_03.jpg)
(http://www.bricktestament.com/king_saul/jonathans_feelings_for_david/1s18_04.jpg)
-
I haven't been to bible school in ages but yea:
Third heaven: God's throne
----water above firmament-----
Second heaven: space
First heaven: Earth's atmosphere
----water on earth-----------------
It depends on whether you actually believe Satan was cast out of heaven twice. If he's actually betrayed God yet. In Job it says that Satan dwells in 2nd Heaven and has access to 3rd Heaven. That implies he has not actually been cast out yet and when it does happen that he will be cast to Earth.
And then if he does get cast out of Heaven twice then why would God give him free reign to enter third heaven? It's the holiest of holies. so much so that according to other scriptures only Christ resides there and no one will have access to it until the rapture that's spoken of in Revelations when the bible explicitly says homeboy will be cast to Earth.
-
Which is more Barbaric: the Bible or the Qur'an?
(http://www.bricktestament.com/joshua/massacre_of_jericho/jos06_20a.jpg)
Joshua 6:20
The trumpets sounded, and the army gave a mighty war cry.
(http://www.bricktestament.com/joshua/massacre_of_jericho/jos06_20b.jpg)
Joshua 6:20
And the walls collapsed.
(http://www.bricktestament.com/joshua/massacre_of_jericho/jos06_20-21.jpg)
Joshua 6:20
The men charged straight into the city to destroy every living thing in it...
(http://www.bricktestament.com/joshua/massacre_of_jericho/jos06_21a.jpg)
Joshua 6:21
...the men...
(http://www.bricktestament.com/joshua/massacre_of_jericho/jos06_21b.jpg)
Joshua 6:21
...the women...
(http://www.bricktestament.com/joshua/massacre_of_jericho/jos06_21c.jpg)
Joshua 6:21
...the young...
(http://www.bricktestament.com/joshua/massacre_of_jericho/jos06_21d.jpg)
Joshua 6:21
...the old...
(http://www.bricktestament.com/joshua/massacre_of_jericho/jos06_21e.jpg)
Joshua 6:21
...the cattle...
(http://www.bricktestament.com/joshua/massacre_of_jericho/jos06_21f.jpg)
Joshua 6:21
...the sheep...
(http://www.bricktestament.com/joshua/massacre_of_jericho/jos06_21g.jpg)
Joshua 6:21
...and the donkeys.
(http://www.bricktestament.com/joshua/massacre_of_jericho/jos06_24a.jpg)
Joshua 6:24
Then the Israelites burned the whole city and everything in it.
-
I haven't been to bible school in ages but yea:
Third heaven: God's throne
----water above firmament-----
Second heaven: space
First heaven: Earth's atmosphere
----water on earth-----------------
It depends on whether you actually believe Satan was cast out of heaven twice. If he's actually betrayed God yet. In Job it says that Satan dwells in 2nd Heaven and has access to 3rd Heaven. That implies he has not actually been cast out yet and when it does happen that he will be cast to Earth.
And then if he does get cast out of Heaven twice then why would God give him free reign to enter third heaven? It's the holiest of holies. so much so that according to other scriptures only Christ resides there and no one will have access to it until the rapture that's spoken of in Revelations.
He will be cast out of heaven again at the start of the tribulation. Right now he has access to the third heaven, where he taunts the heavenly hosts and spreads doubts. After the rapture he'll be cast out of all the heavenly planes to earth, where he'll have free reign/anti-christ/etc
-
So it's water that separates outer space from heaven? Also, why haven't we seen Satan and his angels floating in space yet but we can snap photos of Saturn or Jupiter? :fbm
-
I haven't been to bible school in ages but yea:
Third heaven: God's throne
----water above firmament-----
Second heaven: space
First heaven: Earth's atmosphere
----water on earth-----------------
It depends on whether you actually believe Satan was cast out of heaven twice. If he's actually betrayed God yet. In Job it says that Satan dwells in 2nd Heaven and has access to 3rd Heaven. That implies he has not actually been cast out yet and when it does happen that he will be cast to Earth.
And then if he does get cast out of Heaven twice then why would God give him free reign to enter third heaven? It's the holiest of holies. so much so that according to other scriptures only Christ resides there and no one will have access to it until the rapture that's spoken of in Revelations.
He will be cast out of heaven again at the start of the tribulation. Right now he has access to the third heaven, where he taunts the heavenly hosts and spreads doubts. After the rapture he'll be cast out of all the heavenly planes to earth, where he'll have free reign/anti-christ/etc
That's all pure interpretation though. Nothing actually says he's cast into second heaven. Hell, the different heavens are actually interpretation just from Paul mentioning a third heaven and people assuming there must be a second and first heaven. Then they considered the air second heaven and Satan is referred to as Prince of the Air so they assumed he has a kingdom there. But none of that is actually said. It's pieced together from very vague references.
edit: He's actually called "Prince of the Power of the Air" Even more vague
-
If Satan is in second heaven how did he ever have the ability or even time to hide all of those dinosaur fossils in order to tempt us? Sounds like a busy man.
-
He's had
4 billion 6,000 years to do that, Himu haha
-
Yeesh. I just realized trying to interpret all the vague references of the bible is like those dorks trying to interpret a canon time line in Zelda. So futile :(
-
But how did he go from second heaven to earth, bury the fossils, and then go back to second heaven? sounds a little convoluted to tempt a bunch meat bags to me.
-
Another interpretation is that he doesn't just have free reign to third heaven, he is free to go anywhere and do anything until tribulation.
Edit: he won't actually be confined anywhere until Revelations where an Angel will come down with a key to the abyss and tie him up at the bottom and seal the door so that he can't deceive anyone again.
-
So God can give my family cancer but can't take care of Satan, who has free reign? What did we ever to him?
-
He's kind of a dick, bro.
-
Is it because we're dark-skinned? Darkies ARE cursed flesh by way of the mark of Cain.
Is the Curse of Ham in the Brick Testament?!
-
So God can give my family cancer but can't take care of Satan, who has free reign? What did we ever to him?
We killed his only son!
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_parables_of_jesus/parable_of_the_many_murders/mt21_33a.jpg)
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_parables_of_jesus/parable_of_the_many_murders/mk12_01.jpg)
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_parables_of_jesus/parable_of_the_many_murders/mk12_02.jpg)
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_parables_of_jesus/parable_of_the_many_murders/mk12_03b.jpg)
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_parables_of_jesus/parable_of_the_many_murders/mk12_04a.jpg)
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_parables_of_jesus/parable_of_the_many_murders/mk12_04b.jpg)
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_parables_of_jesus/parable_of_the_many_murders/mk12_05a.jpg)
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_parables_of_jesus/parable_of_the_many_murders/mk12_05b.jpg)
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_parables_of_jesus/parable_of_the_many_murders/mt21_36a.jpg)
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_parables_of_jesus/parable_of_the_many_murders/mt21_35a.jpg)
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_parables_of_jesus/parable_of_the_many_murders/mt21_35c.jpg)
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_parables_of_jesus/parable_of_the_many_murders/mt21_35d.jpg)
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_parables_of_jesus/parable_of_the_many_murders/mk12_05c.jpg)
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_parables_of_jesus/parable_of_the_many_murders/mt21_36b.jpg)
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_parables_of_jesus/parable_of_the_many_murders/mt21_37.jpg)
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_parables_of_jesus/parable_of_the_many_murders/mt21_38.jpg)
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_parables_of_jesus/parable_of_the_many_murders/mt21_40.jpg)
(http://www.bricktestament.com/the_parables_of_jesus/parable_of_the_many_murders/mt21_42pmk12_09.jpg)
The owner is God, his son is Jesus, the slaves are prophets, and the leaseholders are Jews! It makes so much sense. . . . ::)
-
Ah, so this is the same logic the KKK used before rounding up my ancestors for a good ol' hangin'? And the same logic the slave masters used to justify enslaving people with dark complexion?
-
But see, because our skin is brown, we're cursed. Why would you want to be cursed?
-
Ah, so this is the same logic the KKK used before rounding up my ancestors for a good ol' hangin'?
It's more ex post facto.
-
But see, because our skin is brown, we're cursed. Why would you want to be cursed?
You wish you were brown.
-
Cause I rather be damned
You haven't been to hell yet, but you have been to Montana.
-
Hell > Montana
Hell sounds like one helluva party.
-
Hell sounds like one helluva party.
:-\
-
:patel
-
That sentence is worse than anything written in the Bible.
-
:lol
-
Okay, so like, does god throw down his rival gods in hell too? I would LOVE to party with Zeus.
-
I preface this post with :hans1 as I am no longer religious, but more than a decade in bible school doesn't disappear overnight
7And God made the firmament, and divided the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament: and it was so. 8And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day.
Gen. 1:7-8
And God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years.
Gen. 1:14
Genesis describes a heaven below one area of water, yet above the water on the earth. God decrees this heaven includes the mechanics that control days, nights, years etc: this is clearly talking about space, planets, the sun.
Yet nowhere in the bible is there reference to god residing in this heaven, which must spawn the question: where is god?
And before the throne there was a sea of glass like unto crystal: and in the midst of the throne, and round about the throne, were four beasts full of eyes before and behind.
Revelation 4:6
John sees a large area of frozen water, above which he sees the throne of god. That's two heavens. And Revelations says there is a heaven that is on earth, named the first heaven
Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more.
Revelation 21:1
The bible clearly says Satan does not roam earth until he is cast out of "heaven" at the start of the tribulation - which means he's not in the first heaven. We know Satan was cast from the throne of god (third heaven) before Genesis, yet has limited access to it in order to troll god basically. We know there's a heaven above the first heaven/earth. At this point it just becomes a logic exercise. Satan is predominantly in the second heaven until god kicks him to earth
-
I wanna measure Hercules' cock.
-
Satan is a dragon like alien who repeatedly tempts humans into sins who told God to go fuck himself?
I'm in love
(http://i.imgur.com/n5kvJ.jpg)
-
What if God and Satan are real but God is the real bad guy and Satan is the good guy? :o
(http://i.imgur.com/zwh17.jpg)
-
You're such a school girl, Yazeed.
-
Well gotdamn Pd you pawned me. If its not too much trouble could you dig up the scriptures about Satan not allowed on earth. I swear ive read something contrary.
-
Well gotdamn Pd you pawned me. If its not too much trouble could you dig up the scriptures about Satan not allowed on earth. I swear ive read something contrary.
Hm looks like I was wrong about Satan having absolutely no access to earth: he is considered the "ruler" of earth despite working in the confines god set for him. He spends most of his time in the second and third heaven where he taunts god, and eventually will be kicked to earth and given full dominion.
"And war broke out in heaven: Michael and his angels fought with the dragon; and the dragon and his angels fought, but they did not prevail, nor was a place found for them in heaven any longer.
"So the great dragon was cast out, that serpent of old, called the Devil and Satan, who deceives the whole world; he was cast to the earth, and his angels were cast out with him." (Revelation 12:7-9)
-
I like how Satan apparently deceives people when he was telling Adam and Eve the truth. God told what were babies in men and women's bodies not to eat from a tree for it was sinful. If they were innocent, they wouldn't know what sin or guilt or evil was. Yet he still puts it in the garden of eden and he still tells them not to eat from it, and what happens when you tell a curious baby not to touch something? They're gonna touch it! Not to mention, God is omniscient! If he can know the future, he knew what was going to happen to begin with. So if he did, he is he: 1. mad at Adam and Eve if he knew it was going to happen anyways, and 2. mad at mankind's supposedly sinful abominable life when he was the DIRECT CAUSE OF IT? Is God an IDIOT?
Much more, many modern "moderate" Christians suggest that the Adam and Eve creation myth is just that, a myth, an allegory. But once you've started to dig that hole, you've dug one up for your entire faith. If Adam and Eve is an allegory, what else is allegory? Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't Jesus' entire existence steeped on the Adam and Eve myth through original sin? Jesus is there to sacrifice himself for that original sin. If Adam and Eve is allegory, that means Jesus sacrificed himself for nothing, because IT DIDN'T HAPPEN, and that raises doubts on Jesus' existence instantly.
The whole thing is a crock of shit no matter how you look at it.
-
This is amazing :rofl buying this on monday!
-
This book is amazing.
(http://www.bricktestament.com/genesis/lot_raped_by_his_daughters/02_gn19_31-32.jpg)
(http://www.bricktestament.com/genesis/lot_raped_by_his_daughters/07_gn_35b.jpg)
(http://www.bricktestament.com/genesis/lot_raped_by_his_daughters/08_gn19_36.jpg)
:nsfw :nsfw :nsfw
NSFW thread is over THATAWAY!
(unf unf unf HAWT BRIcK ACTION! :fap :fap :fap )
-
Jesus is black, of course the bible isn't racist.
I love pointing that one out to people who have a big, white Jesus portrait. "Hey, where was Jesus from again? --- and what is the, say, average skin tone of people in that area?"
-
Satan is a dragon like alien who repeatedly tempts humans into sins who told God to go fuck himself?
I'm in love
(http://i.imgur.com/n5kvJ.jpg)
Pretty sure those 10 people where being dicks anyway
-
Old Testament: Original
New Testament: Retcon
Book of Mormon: Fanfic
So, hey, wait... what is Scientology, then?