They were when I was super young, so I don't remember. We went to a semi mega church when I was in 2nd-7th grade. There was a semi mentally challenged college aged girl who used to watch all the Sunday school kids. I used to lay on the floor and pretend I was dead in hopes that she would step over me, so I could look up her dress.
:fbm
She thought this was hilarious. She killed herself last year.
:fbm
Shit got dark
:goty
Some of the kids also used of hide under the massive, covered tables in the church and show each other our privates. I did this with a girl who is now working at a bank I do business with. We haven't talked in 20 years.
:goty2
There were two gay dudes in the choir. I didn't find out until later but they used to bang in the parking lot apparently.
That was my mega church experience. I'm drinking right now.
Were there any pebbles involved?
Were there any pebbles involved?
Nah but the rumor were he used his tootsie roll to his advantage.
i don't understand this thread but i do like women, sometimes. i like men ok if they have nice hair
I got a brief glance by pretending to trip in front of her while she was sitting with her legs partially open. She was rather tomboyish and cute. I don't know what type of mental issue she had but she acted like a child despite being 20something, similar to Adrian Brody in The Village but with a better vocabulary. One time I ran away from church and everyone freaked out. Her big sister drove her around the block until they found me, and she shook me real hard and asked why I would leave her; she was crying and it made me cry.
:fbm
The dancing was split between the traditional "stomp the devil" strutting in that video, which was the preferred shit to old people, and a more modern wild dancing for the young people. Basically those churches revolve around young v old. The old people thought the wild dancing was too wild, the young people just wanted to have fun. I really wonder how those churches will operate in the future when the old people are people who were young in the 90s/aughts.
Never saw exorcisms obviously but I did see deacons speaking in tongues. The weird thing is that you could tell when someone was bullshitting or speaking babel fish but there were some that freak me out to this day. I'd imagine it's a trick you have to learn over years: some of them managed to completely change the tone of their voice and sound like a lion trying to talk (without a mic). It's hard to explain but that shit was crazy.
What made your parents leave the church breh?
What made your parents leave the church breh?
My mom started going to another church and questioning the doctrine she had been taught over the last decades. Sometimes she would drag me or my brothers to the new place, whereas my dad stayed at the old church until he got into a theological debate with someone from the new church and lost.
So we switched to this new one, which was non denominational. No dancing, no choir. Everyone would sing hymns and sometimes a lady would do a solo. It was basically like underground rap fans: nonstop shit talking about mainstream Christians, elitism, and lots of focus on dead dudes no one else talked much about - in this case the apostle Paul instead of Dilla.
I became more religious now that it wasn't a giant game like at the previous church. But in truth my religion was moreso a reaction to the kids at church who treated me like shit. The church was in Detroit whereas we lived in a white city an hour away. I was accused of acting white all the time. So I responded by memorizing bible verses and mastering various debate techniques, and embarrassing the kids in Sunday school. I was an asshole.
Then I'd hang with religious kids back home and debate them and rustle jimmies. I played basketball at a Baptist school and would piss them off with shit I learned in church. Like I'd say "where in the bible does it say Gentiles are supposed to be baptized" or "Jesus' message was aimed exclusively at the Jews, he had nothing to say to you." All biblically correct but I was a jerk about it.
I was pretty confident in my bible trolling until I ran into a Jehovah's Witness and got annihilated. I told my mom and she literally said "don't talk to those people, they're a cult."
:dead
But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly
I used to hate when my mom would take me and my bro to these crazy churches where they dance and speak in tongues. It was 2 hours of me doing :what
I hate going to church. Sometimes I go to humor my wife, but at least it's catholic and is done in an hour or less.
I'm :sabu at the idea of your dad taking an L from some church member. How badly did he get ethered in that debate to change his faith/church?
:dead
I must be lucky then. It's 20 minutes of singing and announcements, 20 minutes of the pastors bullshit, 20 minutes of communion and peace be with you.I once went to one of the old people masses with like, 25 senior citizens tops. They zip through that bitch real fucking quick. Crazy how more efficient mass can get when you nix the singing.
raised Catholic. can confirm mass runs an hour long. hour and a half for Easter/Christmas services. long af for Holy Saturday Vigil
Then don't go to one ran by South Americans breh. Start at 10 be lucky to get back home in time for kickoff at 1.never been to a church in a South American community, I'll have to avoid doing that someday :lupe
Then don't go to one ran by South Americans breh. Start at 10 be lucky to get back home in time for kickoff at 1.never been to a church in a South American community, I'll have to avoid doing that someday :lupe
there are a ton of Spanish masses down here because of the large Mexican population. never been to one, should probably at least check it out once :lupe
My parents had a falling out at that church after about 7 years or so, so we started studying at home; same religious views, they just wanted to get away from the formalities of going to church, based on some of Paul's writings about home study. That was the worst as by that time I was well past being religious, and I had to attend the Sunday "classes" even during my first semester in college (although I skipped quite a few at that time). We'd basically reach through one book of the bible. Romans being the worst. At the time I knew my brother was gay, and if you're familiar with Romans you know it has some of the GOAT homophobic verses in the bible. So I'd be sitting there hearing that shit, and then my parents would discuss the verses/shit on gay marriage while I could see my brother was visibly distraught.
:beli
I'd question and disagree, but it would always end with "well that's your opinion Phoenix. I'm going to have to agree with God."
:bolo
I'm just glad I wasn't raised Mormon. Shit is like going to work on a Sunday.
But God didn't write the bible. They may agree with a section in the bible but it was still written by a man.divinitus inspirata
Jamal (5:5)
I never had beef with Mormons. There was one in HS, and I remember one time someone was like "don't you guys hate black people?" and she was like
(http://i.imgur.com/Y0iIAOr.png)
the hierarchy of religious shit heads
1. Jehovah's Witnesses
2. Calvinists
3. Fundamentalist Evangelicals
Mormon's are great for the most part. I disagree with lots of what the church promotes, but they're good people, really friendly (outside of the deeply entrenched small town Utah/Idaho ones).
When I did the Census we used to do neighborhoods that were being canvassed by Mormons. They'd warn us of which houses to avoid. So we'd just write down some bullshit ("two adults, no children. Caucasian.") and move on to the next one.
Mormon assisted Census fraud, getting paid by the government :lawd
When I did the Census we used to do neighborhoods that were being canvassed by Mormons. They'd warn us of which houses to avoid. So we'd just write down some bullshit ("two adults, no children. Caucasian.") and move on to the next one.
Mormon assisted Census fraud, getting paid by the government :lawd
C'mon dude I don't know where you come from but from where I was born we never saw a census worker, ever. They didn't come to our block.
When I did the Census we used to do neighborhoods that were being canvassed by Mormons. They'd warn us of which houses to avoid. So we'd just write down some bullshit ("two adults, no children. Caucasian.") and move on to the next one.
Mormon assisted Census fraud, getting paid by the government :lawd
C'mon dude I don't know where you come from but from where I was born we never saw a census worker, ever. They didn't come to our block.
Ypsilanti in 2010 breh, you've been there before.
My mom is fine with my brother being gay now and supports gay marriage. She's seen first hand how my brother has gotten treated and it made her see the error of her ways. My dad less so but he doesn't say anything.
I'm just glad I wasn't raised Mormon. Shit is like going to work on a Sunday.(http://i.imgur.com/EBoz9ef.gif)
I forgot we have our very own jackmormon here. Aren't you from Utah as well?Raised in Provo, Utah while my dad attended BYU.
Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn, that is fucking Mormon. :whewI forgot we have our very own jackmormon here. Aren't you from Utah as well?Raised in Provo, Utah while my dad attended BYU.
Attended BYU myself.
If I wasn't latino I'd be as mormon as you could get.
Catholics are whatever. Never met a religious Catholic.
PD bout to learn the hard way when he goes raw in some chica and she doesn't do any any kind of birth control or plan b.
Nah. Maybe their moms but in terms of every day interactions/associates/friends/etc, not one.
pd still knows more about black cawk tho :tophat
yall are busting raw in random chicks? :what
fuckouttahere lmao
I've gone in raw a couple times with randos (mostly back in college when I was drunk or whatever) and still always had the presence of mind to pull that shit out and spurt somewhere where the result wouldn't be a fucking baby. (Yes I know women can still get preggers that way)
:ufup
I've gone raw with someone on the pill but even that wasn't a good idea, as I detailed last month.
:goty
Esch,
You're a pretty intelligent poster. But let's face it, your IQ is like a beetle with downs (downs girls look like knock off J-gf's) which is why there are clusters of downs (young) women in certain Amrican states (due in part to serious inbreeding shenanigans) but said clusters enable said US dudes too poor, lazy or Amercian (subjective term) to get a flight to Tokyo, but to still fuck an almost Japanese looking female, but with a shorter life-span ofc. And that's actually really healthy.
Raperman obsesses over posters he feels threatened by like no one else on the bore. Drinky was absolutely right in drawing a comparison to Green Shinobi in his heyday.Just let it go Barry. I've had enough. If you don't want me to post here anymore, all it needs is ZephyrFates views, and if I agree with them, I'll leave.
I could never find a way to troll Calvinists, back when I was religious. The obvious ploy - "if salvation is strictly an issue of predetermination, how do you know you're saved?" - didn't work because they'd just say "I know I'm saved" no matter what. Jehovah's Witnesses pull the same shit.
I was once trapped in a car on a trip from Detroit to Chicago, during which my dad and his Calvinist friend debated for hours. That was like the double tap shot that completely killed my already 90% dead religious self.
I could never find a way to troll Calvinists, back when I was religious. The obvious ploy - "if salvation is strictly an issue of predetermination, how do you know you're saved?" - didn't work because they'd just say "I know I'm saved" no matter what. Jehovah's Witnesses pull the same shit.
I was once trapped in a car on a trip from Detroit to Chicago, during which my dad and his Calvinist friend debated for hours. That was like the double tap shot that completely killed my already 90% dead religious self.
Can I ask how you think this is any worse than a Free-wheeling southern baptist taking an hour of my time on a flight to tell me that even though I probably did some really bad shit (because I'm black) that if I get saved I am going to heaven? Then following with "we should kill all the arabs"
I never wanted to choke a guy out so bad in my life.
But what do the faces mean? Without context.
Predestination is the most dangerous thought in America. Especially if you aren't jewish.
I could never find a way to troll Calvinists, back when I was religious. The obvious ploy - "if salvation is strictly an issue of predetermination, how do you know you're saved?" - didn't work because they'd just say "I know I'm saved" no matter what. Jehovah's Witnesses pull the same shit.
I was once trapped in a car on a trip from Detroit to Chicago, during which my dad and his Calvinist friend debated for hours. That was like the double tap shot that completely killed my already 90% dead religious self.
Predestination is the most dangerous thought in America. Especially if you aren't jewish.
(http://www.thecoli.com/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/sass1.png) Oh do go on.....
The son of the leader of the Calvinist church I went to was involved in an extramarital affair and was like, "I'm elect, who gives a shit? :yeshrug" :dead
There are two distinct strains of Calvinism, one where your life on earth reflects whether or not your elect or reprobate, so being a crass sinner is seen as you being in the wrong and burning in hell (although of course this could not be the case, god may have other plans for you) where living a good li life means you *might* be elect, but then again you might burn in hell. This calvinism causes serious crisises, so lazy people just interpreted it as being either you're elect or not, and whatever, I'm elect.I could never find a way to troll Calvinists, back when I was religious. The obvious ploy - "if salvation is strictly an issue of predetermination, how do you know you're saved?" - didn't work because they'd just say "I know I'm saved" no matter what. Jehovah's Witnesses pull the same shit.
I was once trapped in a car on a trip from Detroit to Chicago, during which my dad and his Calvinist friend debated for hours. That was like the double tap shot that completely killed my already 90% dead religious self.
The son of the leader of the Calvinist church I went to was involved in an extramarital affair and was like, "I'm elect, who gives a shit? :yeshrug" :dead
Hey, gotta respect that religious swag.
This is the first time I've heard of a calvinist, but the whole I'm going to heaven anyway exists in islam. It's something like as long as you're muslim, you'll end up in heaven. If you have committed too many sins, you'll burn in hell for a while then go to heaven. Not sure if it's just wahhabism, but that's what I kept hearing. Also if Allah just doesn't like your guts you're going to hell forever no matter what good you did, and if he likes, you can be a rapist but welcome to heaven. It's just as confusing of a message as any religions, really.
But how bout that black man jumping around because he'd been cured of gayness, tho.
But how bout that black man jumping around because he'd been cured of gayness, tho.If he was really cured of gayness, he'd have shed that tie and shirt immediately.
Mormon's are great for the most part. I disagree with lots of what the church promotes, but they're good people, really friendly (outside of the deeply entrenched small town Utah/Idaho ones).Mormons are generally friendly enough, but it's hard to take it seriously when one reads how much of a questionable character Joseph Smith was, even before he claimed he found magic plates that God made him promise not to show anyone else. I have met only one truly messed up jackass Mormon, and he couched his racist, homophobic agenda at God's feet, and given the chance he would let anyone not of the church be eaten by wild dogs while speculating that they'd brought it on themselves.
http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshhlR9tN83xR482OvBIa church pulling a scam!?? my heavens what is this world coming to!
http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshhlR9tN83xR482OvBI
http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshhlR9tN83xR482OvBI
"The devil snuck up on me and put that man in my mouth, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like women” Said Andrew to policemen after making bail posted by his Church’s pastor.