THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: Eschaton on March 09, 2015, 02:35:21 PM

Title: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Eschaton on March 09, 2015, 02:35:21 PM
Something about a watch I reckon
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Am_I_Anonymous on March 09, 2015, 02:35:41 PM
Android Guy here.


Don't care.

Regret not investing when I had a chance though....damnit.
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Am_I_Anonymous on March 09, 2015, 02:57:04 PM
 :kobeyuck

Spend 550 dollars on a watch but only have 150 dollars of fun money a month brehs...
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Human Snorenado on March 09, 2015, 02:57:53 PM
New macbooks don't have fans, will double as dick roasters
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Am_I_Anonymous on March 09, 2015, 02:59:46 PM
Excuse me, does the GAF say you can buy an apple watch for 10,000 fucking dollars? It got a motor in it?


edit:

10k for this shit?

(http://static4.businessinsider.com/image/542bef53ecad04df142105b1-480/apple-watch-edition-rose-gold.jpg)

(http://cdn2.sbnation.com/imported_assets/1079524/Animation6.gif)
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Mr. Gundam on March 09, 2015, 03:02:57 PM
HBO Now exclusive to Apple devices. The butthurt is strong.
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Brehvolution on March 09, 2015, 03:04:08 PM
Apple watch: For those who just can't be bothered to take your phone out of your pocket or purse.
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: ToxicAdam on March 09, 2015, 03:11:56 PM
I'm done doubting Apple. I scoffed at the Ipod release and even moreso at the Ipad release. Eventually I came to own both products.

 
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Tasty on March 09, 2015, 03:13:05 PM
HBO Now exclusive to Apple devices. The butthurt is strong.

*Timed exclusive
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Am_I_Anonymous on March 09, 2015, 03:13:15 PM
If I'm going to drop 10k on a watch it's going to be this:

(http://b-i.forbesimg.com/arieladams/files/2013/09/Rolex-Submariner-116610-LN7.jpg)


Not a glorified wristband that can tell me how much fucking money I'm allowed to spend every month. I'm going to wear a watch that says fuck your discretionary spending, Failure.
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Yeti on March 09, 2015, 03:20:27 PM
This doesn't interest me, but I will probably bite after a few yearly screen size increases.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
(http://www.blogcdn.com/www.engadget.com/media/2010/05/100520-pip-boy-01.jpg)
(http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/en.futurama/images/d/d8/Leela-wristband.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20110706080158)
[close]
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Crash Dummy on March 09, 2015, 03:39:58 PM
New macbooks don't have fans, will double as dick roasters

penis panini  :uguu
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: huckleberry on March 09, 2015, 03:41:32 PM
So does purchasing the Apple Watch Edition with only the 38mm bezel and sports strap give you Operating Thetan level automatically or does it still leave you in Clear?
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: nudemacusers on March 09, 2015, 03:45:35 PM
gold macbook :rejoice

I do like the look of the gold watch/rose wristband but it violates my silver-toned metal only policy and is of course 17k lol.
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Am_I_Anonymous on March 09, 2015, 03:46:29 PM
The most important question...Is candy crush functional on this device?
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: nudemacusers on March 09, 2015, 03:48:16 PM
The most important question...Is candy crush functional on this device?
no but you can send dick doodles to people
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Am_I_Anonymous on March 09, 2015, 03:49:38 PM
The most important question...Is candy crush functional on this device?
no but you can send dick doodles to people

Well this is great news. I'll preorder one right now  :rejoice

Prepare for many noodles, mac. We actually need nationwide fulltime adaptable bluetooth so I can real time draw my penises at my leisure.
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Brehvolution on March 09, 2015, 03:57:51 PM
http://store.apple.com/us/buy-watch/apple-watch-edition?product=MJ3G2LL/A&step=detail#
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: nudemacusers on March 09, 2015, 04:26:46 PM
http://store.apple.com/us/buy-watch/apple-watch-edition?product=MJ3G2LL/A&step=detail#
it's a very pleasing color combo but the band should be croc or pebbled imo.
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Brehvolution on March 09, 2015, 04:28:02 PM
How do you think it would effect the $17k price tag?
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: nudemacusers on March 09, 2015, 04:33:03 PM
well, real croc? it would go up a couple grand most likely. pebbling doesn't really add much to the price IME. they should do something other than the typical bland apple leather.
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Kara on March 09, 2015, 05:06:47 PM
the vast majority of luxury watches look like overly complicated shitty looking poorly designed bits of quickly put-together-pieces of shiny scrap metal

real talk

When you're using Swatch movements you gotta distract rubes any way you can to get that paper.
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: TakingBackSunday on March 09, 2015, 05:56:00 PM
those new macbooks are sexy as fuck
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: fistfulofmetal on March 09, 2015, 06:06:57 PM
overpriced junk
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Madrun Badrun on March 09, 2015, 06:18:28 PM
They are making it increasingly hard to use macbooks as linux substitutes.  I probably won't get one ever again. 
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Human Snorenado on March 09, 2015, 06:21:21 PM
those new macbooks are sexy as fuck

Hope they're $1600 sexy for something with a core m processor

:ufup
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Supermanisdead on March 09, 2015, 06:22:32 PM
hbo now exclusive to apple tv....


and ios...


and streaming on browsers.

so really its just not on consoles. at least for a few months.
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Madrun Badrun on March 09, 2015, 06:26:32 PM
browsers: the original app :bow2
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: dkdk on March 09, 2015, 06:28:44 PM
apple's a fuckin trip man. a comedian wouldn't even think of them selling a watch for 17k.

also am i tripping or do the new macbooks not have a headphone jack.
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Madrun Badrun on March 09, 2015, 06:32:56 PM
I think they have one jack that gets used by everything.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
Kind of like your mom.
[close]


I think the extra input thing is like 80$

spoiler (click to show/hide)
Also like your mom
[close]
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Positive Touch on March 09, 2015, 06:34:52 PM
was there a subset of nerds that really liked those old Tiger Electronics watches it something? I just don't see how you can wear a fucking ladies watch with an iPod nano on it and not look like a dingus. I mean if people will buy Google glasses then I'm sure people will buy this, but I can't see it taking off.
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: TakingBackSunday on March 09, 2015, 06:42:48 PM
I think it'll take off, but I do think they won't really "nail" it until the third generation
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Phoenix Dark on March 09, 2015, 06:58:20 PM
Still don't understand the point. The smart phone makes a smart watch redundant. The only reason you wear a watch today is to look more professional, and lord knows no one will take you seriously while wearing a flimsy ass Power Ranger watch.

Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Huff on March 09, 2015, 07:01:04 PM
(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_ounkozYq7h0/S-kUwpnWF5I/AAAAAAAAB4Q/pd5Brq6B4B8/s400/page+watch.jpg)

I'd rather have a power ranger's watch
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: kick51 on March 09, 2015, 07:11:39 PM
last time i said "i don't get it" it was the ipad, so i'm just keeping my mouth shut.   obv the $15k one is dummmbb, but as someone pointed out, it makes the $400 ones seem cheaper.
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Great Rumbler on March 09, 2015, 07:32:52 PM
I get the appeal of smart phones and tablets, but a smart watch seems like a much smaller potential market. On the other hand, Pebble's second Kickstarter has already pulled down $17 million, so what do I know?
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Steve Contra on March 09, 2015, 07:42:33 PM
Pebble's Kickstarter still puts it squarely in the niche market for electronics.  Apple will be the first real test.
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Eel O'Brian on March 09, 2015, 08:04:19 PM
Tech sites last year: "Smart watches such as Samsung's latest offering just seem superfluous to the smart phones one already uses on a daily basis."

Tech sites just a few hours ago: "Apple's smart watch is a synchrony of form and function, one which provides the iphone with an essential partner you didn't even know you were missing until now. They continue to amaze."
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: nudemacusers on March 09, 2015, 08:05:49 PM
yeah i can't imagine apple being pleased with 17 million.

still not sold on the concept; the keynote/marketing demo just seemed like a slightly more convenient phone.
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Dickie Dee on March 09, 2015, 08:12:20 PM
Smart watches would make sense if everyone still wore watches even as some sort of vestigial accessory.

But who actually wants to wear a fucking watch? Especially some big dumb looking one.
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: huckleberry on March 09, 2015, 08:24:20 PM
Tech sites last year: "Smart watches such as Samsung's latest offering just seem superfluous to the smart phones one already uses on a daily basis."

Tech sites just a few hours ago: "Apple's smart watch is a synchrony of form and function, one which provides the iphone with an essential partner you didn't even know you were missing until now. They continue to amaze."

*checks The Verge*


yep.
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Kara on March 09, 2015, 08:47:19 PM
Still don't understand the point. The smart phone makes a smart watch redundant. The only reason you wear a watch today is to look more professional, and lord knows no one will take you seriously while wearing a flimsy ass Power Ranger watch.

Not quite, the only reason to wear one (if you're not going to be without a mobile for a prolonged period) is to conspicuously display your wealth. That can make you look professional, or it can make you look like a dorkasaurus (e.g. the desktop diver).

spoiler (click to show/hide)
My best watch is a diving watch. :fbm
[close]
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Mr. Gundam on March 09, 2015, 09:51:56 PM
HBO Now exclusive to Apple devices. The butthurt is strong.

*Timed exclusive

I'm a highrollin' don't give a fuck cable subscriber with HBO. Clearly I don't care and just like to see people get mad online .
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: chronovore on March 09, 2015, 10:30:19 PM
HBO Go doesn’t have enough total content that it’s worth US$15/month. The exclusivity is probably for existing contracts with cable distributors.

That watch - man, the only thing I can think of worse than buying first-generation Apple hardware would be paying a premium price for some kind of luxury item which also happens to be first-gen Apple hardware.
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: huckleberry on March 09, 2015, 10:38:16 PM
http://www.theverge.com/2015/3/9/8176793/apple-watch-precision-accuracy-timekeeping (http://www.theverge.com/2015/3/9/8176793/apple-watch-precision-accuracy-timekeeping)


all those words man. every last one.




Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Kara on March 09, 2015, 11:02:11 PM
If some sort of Butlerian Jihad took out all the time-keeping satellites and servers, your Apple Watch would be useless anyway. This is how all smartwatches work.

:rofl :expert :rofl
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Great Rumbler on March 09, 2015, 11:03:39 PM
http://www.theverge.com/2015/3/9/8176793/apple-watch-precision-accuracy-timekeeping (http://www.theverge.com/2015/3/9/8176793/apple-watch-precision-accuracy-timekeeping)

:goty
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Eel O'Brian on March 09, 2015, 11:17:51 PM
http://www.theverge.com/2015/3/9/8176793/apple-watch-precision-accuracy-timekeeping (http://www.theverge.com/2015/3/9/8176793/apple-watch-precision-accuracy-timekeeping)


all those words man. every last one.






:lol

They are ripping that dude a new one in the comments
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Yeti on March 09, 2015, 11:42:13 PM
Still don't understand the point. The smart phone makes a smart watch redundant. The only reason you wear a watch today is to look more professional, and lord knows no one will take you seriously while wearing a flimsy ass Power Ranger watch.

Ugh, who has the time or energy to bother taking your phone out of your pocket anymore
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Mr. Gundam on March 09, 2015, 11:45:01 PM
Still don't understand the point. The smart phone makes a smart watch redundant. The only reason you wear a watch today is to look more professional, and lord knows no one will take you seriously while wearing a flimsy ass Power Ranger watch.

Ugh, who has the time or energy to bother taking your phone out of your pocket anymore

That was actually a defense I heard in favor of the product this morning on NPR. :lol
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: kick51 on March 09, 2015, 11:55:23 PM
http://www.theverge.com/2015/3/9/8176793/apple-watch-precision-accuracy-timekeeping (http://www.theverge.com/2015/3/9/8176793/apple-watch-precision-accuracy-timekeeping)


all those words man. every last one.


holy fuckin shit what the fuck am I reading?!   :rofl
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: I'm a Puppy! on March 10, 2015, 12:09:37 AM
Goddamn it people. Has no one watch the connections episode about how technology traps us? I mean it's the FIRST FUCKING EPISODE!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKELMR6wACw
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: nudemacusers on March 10, 2015, 12:43:14 AM
The best comment on our relationship with time in the modern era was already done by Hermes. Sorry verge/Apple

http://www.ablogtowatch.com/hermes-le-temps-suspendu-watch-why-do-you-suspend-time/

True mechanical too :whew
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Kara on March 10, 2015, 12:47:59 AM
Gonna have to dock that one for not being called "À la recherche du temps suspendu." :ufup
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: nudemacusers on March 10, 2015, 12:53:49 AM
Yeah cuz that'll look nice on a watch face :ufup
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: nudemacusers on March 10, 2015, 12:59:33 AM
Lol that verge took several paragraphs to say nothing. I could do that!
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Tasty on March 10, 2015, 01:13:47 AM
(http://i.imgur.com/6GPgaYUl.jpg)

(http://i.imgur.com/B0DYRTTl.jpg)

(http://i.imgur.com/ydT8LrUl.jpg)

(http://i.imgur.com/l4SSqRol.jpg)

















(http://i.imgur.com/g5V2Izxl.jpg)

(http://i.imgur.com/z7F4jYO.png)
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Rufus on March 10, 2015, 01:17:07 AM
I wish we could know how many of those will be paid by student loans. I'm guessing at least half.
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Kara on March 10, 2015, 01:21:52 AM
Yeah cuz that'll look nice on a watch face :ufup

I meant the name of the article. :-[
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: pilonv1 on March 10, 2015, 06:34:51 AM
(http://i.imgur.com/6GPgaYUl.jpg)

(http://i.imgur.com/B0DYRTTl.jpg)

(http://i.imgur.com/ydT8LrUl.jpg)

(http://i.imgur.com/l4SSqRol.jpg)

















(http://i.imgur.com/g5V2Izxl.jpg)

(http://i.imgur.com/z7F4jYO.png)

Looks like the Nintendo Wii U of smart watches
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Human Snorenado on March 10, 2015, 07:52:52 PM
POOR BRANDNEW YOU GUYS

http://gawker.com/take-the-pledge-i-will-not-have-sex-with-anyone-who-we-1690368564
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Madrun Badrun on March 10, 2015, 07:57:15 PM
Sex pledges are a turn off.  I mean I'll do them if a niece is trying to fund a school trip or what ever but I won't actively seek them out. 
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: TakingBackSunday on March 10, 2015, 08:03:32 PM
POOR BRANDNEW YOU GUYS

http://gawker.com/take-the-pledge-i-will-not-have-sex-with-anyone-who-we-1690368564

you're telling me I won't have sex in the next few years?  this isn't news dude
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Madrun Badrun on March 10, 2015, 08:06:19 PM
Well at least not with Sam Biddle, Gawker contributor.  Sorry to dash your dreams New. 
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Tasty on March 10, 2015, 08:51:58 PM
Sam Biddle :uguu
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: bork on March 11, 2015, 07:48:49 AM
Sam Biddle :uguu

Sounds like the name of a hobbit.
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Am_I_Anonymous on March 11, 2015, 09:47:12 AM
http://gawker.com/take-the-pledge-i-will-not-have-sex-with-anyone-who-we-1690368564/+marchman#_ga=1.225238685.647728248.1419356219

 :rejoice
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Brehvolution on March 11, 2015, 02:04:16 PM
POOR BRANDNEW YOU GUYS

http://gawker.com/take-the-pledge-i-will-not-have-sex-with-anyone-who-we-1690368564

you're telling me I won't have sex in the next few years?  this isn't news dude

At least not with dudes who have sex pledges regarding what other dudes wear. I'm sure the girls won't care.
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: bork on March 11, 2015, 03:33:11 PM
That really is an ugly design and it looks pretty cheap, especially for an Apple product.

I'm not sold on any of these smart watches.  I see no point in forking over $350+ so I can be lazy even lazier and not take my phone out of my pocket.  Find something else to hock, smart phone makers; this is a stupid idea.

Now, if you want to come up with an attractive time piece that somehow functions well and could even replace a phone, that would be another story.
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Kara on March 11, 2015, 04:11:05 PM
Soooo you want a Dick Tracy watch?
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: brob on March 11, 2015, 06:36:05 PM
I want a smart watch that monitors my biometrics and has a small needle to administer ampoules of nicotine or oxycodone when needed. I don't really need to know what time it is.
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: bork on March 12, 2015, 07:50:27 AM
Soooo you want a Dick Tracy watch?

Isn't that what they're making?   ???
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: bork on March 12, 2015, 09:21:30 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHZ8ek-6ccc
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Vertigo on March 12, 2015, 09:54:28 AM
Quote
Yesterday, before an auditorium of engorged tech journalists, Apple revealed the final details of its dorkiest luxury item yet, the Apple Watch. It is an additional screen you can buy if you can't be bothered to take your iPhone out of your pocket. It will be a trophy of sloth and status for the worst segment of our society, those with both ample disposable income and a vacuum of taste. Watches have long served as a way for turd-men with too much money and not much to say to trumpet their existence to the world, but they've never featured Siri or the option to check your iMessages. For the vain and insecure, this is brilliant. Apple, innovating since day one, has found a way to make a chunk of ornamental gold on your wrist even more showy: throw in an LCD screen and wifi.

 :lol

One of my Apple evangelist friends is already salivating at getting the watch. This is a guy that has so much disposable income that he has an iPhone6 and an iPhone 6+. For no reason other than he can.
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Brehvolution on March 12, 2015, 10:03:05 AM
Quote
Yesterday, before an auditorium of engorged tech journalists, Apple revealed the final details of its dorkiest luxury item yet, the Apple Watch. It is an additional screen you can buy if you can't be bothered to take your iPhone out of your pocket. It will be a trophy of sloth and status for the worst segment of our society, those with both ample disposable income and a vacuum of taste. Watches have long served as a way for turd-men with too much money and not much to say to trumpet their existence to the world, but they've never featured Siri or the option to check your iMessages. For the vain and insecure, this is brilliant. Apple, innovating since day one, has found a way to make a chunk of ornamental gold on your wrist even more showy: throw in an LCD screen and wifi.

Apple watch: For those who just can't be bothered to take your phone out of your pocket or purse.

I've been plagiarized. :noah
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: bluemax on March 12, 2015, 11:03:02 PM
was there a subset of nerds that really liked those old Tiger Electronics watches it something? I just don't see how you can wear a fucking ladies watch with an iPod nano on it and not look like a dingus. I mean if people will buy Google glasses then I'm sure people will buy this, but I can't see it taking off.

Shit you just gave me an idea for a tumblr...
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: fizzel on March 13, 2015, 12:10:30 PM
http://www.theverge.com/2015/3/9/8176793/apple-watch-precision-accuracy-timekeeping (http://www.theverge.com/2015/3/9/8176793/apple-watch-precision-accuracy-timekeeping)


all those words man. every last one.


holy fuckin shit what the fuck am I reading?!   :rofl

Apple time, it just works.
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: Am_I_Anonymous on March 13, 2015, 12:11:53 PM
I personally can't wait for a day where Apple releases a "watch" that doesn't tell time. It's coming, you watch (no pun intended)
Title: Re: haha apple is having a press conference
Post by: nudemacusers on March 13, 2015, 01:09:32 PM
already done brah

http://blogs.wsj.com/wealth/2008/04/25/the-300000-watch-that-doesnt-tell-time/