THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: whiteACID on February 23, 2007, 02:05:29 PM

Title: Advice from a girl
Post by: whiteACID on February 23, 2007, 02:05:29 PM
Regardless of your age, take down any pin-up posters of women or even men from the walls of your room, if you have any. Hide your dirty magazines. Hide any other things which could be taken as sexual in nature.

Most important, make your room clean and neat. Put a set of fresh sheets on bed and make bed in neat manner.

And the bathroom. Make it sparkling clean. Hang fresh towels. Put new bars of soap, one near the sink and the other in the shower.

Does your bathroom have a ventilator fan? Whether it has one or not, it's a good idea to have a room-odor eliminating spray can and place it prominently in front of a toilet bowl. (You know women sit, don't you?)

It would be a nice touch to have a new toothbrush in case she forget to bring her own.

Do you have another room you can sleep in? If you do, make an offer to her that you would sleep in another room and she can keep your whole room to herself during the night. She may say you wouldn't have to do that, but make an offer any way. That will give her the impression that you are a true gentleman (which you may not be).


Let's continue with our preparation.

After removing your dirty magazines (preferably OUT of your room in case she get the room to herself and possibly go through your stuff in the middle on night), put a few well-perceived magazines/newspapers, casually scattered around in your room.

Recommended magazines/newspapers:

National Geographic

Scientific American

Premier

Nature

Wall Street Journal

New York Times

Enquirer

We need a general news magazine:

U.S. News & World Report

We have to have a contingency plan then.

How many condoms should he have ready? (I guess he should hide them outside of his room, though.)

Should they be ribbed or smooth?

Oh yes, I almost forgot, a box of Kleenex. Yes, that's an essential item.
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: Tauntaun on February 23, 2007, 02:07:59 PM
If I'm married does that mean I win this thread? :hyper
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: Himu on February 23, 2007, 02:09:12 PM
White Acid! Get on aim, sweetness!
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: whiteACID on February 23, 2007, 02:09:54 PM
White Acid! Get on aim, sweetness!
I'm at work!
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: DJ_Tet on February 23, 2007, 02:10:30 PM
How about Discover and Tips and Tricks?

Or old, topical newspaper headlines?  Is a bunch of Sept 12th newspapers strewn about a bad idea?


I've got a clean, new pink toothbrush just waiting if you need a roadtrip.  And I'll even sleep on the couch.
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: Himu on February 23, 2007, 02:10:42 PM
White Acid! Get on aim, sweetness!
I'm at work!

Oh!
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: whiteACID on February 23, 2007, 02:13:46 PM
I have a pink toothbrush
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: Flannel Boy on February 23, 2007, 02:13:52 PM
Regardless of your age, take down any pin-up posters of women or even men from the walls of your room, if you have any. Hide your dirty magazines. Hide any other things which could be taken as sexual in nature.

Do 14 Beatles posters count... if you know, they are of a sexual nature to me?

Most important, make your room clean and neat. Put a set of fresh sheets on bed and make bed in neat manner.
Fresh bed sheets? That's like worrying about how you're going to put on the 'Green Jacket' when you can't even hit the god damned golf ball.




How many condoms should he have ready? (I guess he should hide them outside of his room, though.)

Should they be ribbed or smooth?


My condoms are warning me about AIDS and the Y2K bug!



Oh yes, I almost forgot, a box of Kleenex. Yes, that's an essential item.


for when you are alone yet again and have to clean up your 'mess'.



Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: DJ_Tet on February 23, 2007, 02:14:37 PM
I have a pink toothbrush

Cool.  Bring it with.
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: Robo on February 23, 2007, 02:15:43 PM
Step 1.  Pretend to be a metro douche.

Step 2.  Pretend to be intelligent.

Step 3.  Pretend to be a pussy.

Step 4.  ??????

Step 5.  Profit.

Do I have this about right?
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: demi on February 23, 2007, 02:16:58 PM
What about all these games of mine?

What about my spanning British comedy collection?
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: whiteACID on February 23, 2007, 02:17:19 PM
What about all these games of mine?

What about my spanning British comedy collection?
Unacceptable
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: demi on February 23, 2007, 02:19:13 PM
Then I guess I'm just gonna have to turn gay.
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: Madrun Badrun on February 23, 2007, 02:19:19 PM
What about all these games of mine?

What about my spanning British comedy collection?
Unacceptable

what about rum under the bathroom sink, and no door on the bathroom?
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: The Fake Shemp on February 23, 2007, 02:19:37 PM
This advice is like 25%, 75% suck.
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: DJ_Tet on February 23, 2007, 02:19:48 PM
Guitar in the corner is the ticket to wet and loose women  :-*
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: Madrun Badrun on February 23, 2007, 02:23:01 PM
Guitar in the corner is the ticket to wet and loose women  :-*

but that only counts if you can play it and its not just sitting because of great ambitions in grade 6.... unfortionatly  :(
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: DJ_Tet on February 23, 2007, 02:24:49 PM
True.  Gotta be able to strum the strings to umm...strum the strings.


Luckily I can play a little.  Bring that toothbrush red  :-*
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: Flannel Boy on February 23, 2007, 02:27:45 PM
Guitar in the corner is the ticket to wet and loose women  :-*
I have an instrument... an organ if you will.
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: whiteACID on February 23, 2007, 02:28:21 PM
(http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y6/mssmojorising/wtF/facered1an.jpg)
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: Tauntaun on February 23, 2007, 02:29:10 PM
Just be yourself guys, girls always say they want honesty.  So when she comes over give her a romantic kiss, only for the purpose of giving her a major wedgie and be sure to constantly scratch-n-sniff your nuts.  Burp/fart at her, aim for the head.  Also, make sure to have had taco bell or something equally trashy to give you a great dump and then ask her if she wants to sniff/see it. 
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: DJ_Tet on February 23, 2007, 02:29:47 PM
(http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y6/mssmojorising/wtF/facered1an.jpg)

photobucket is blocked from work, your image is lost on me.  how sad
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: G The Resurrected on February 23, 2007, 02:30:24 PM
I'm getting new sheets today and once i'm not sick I plan to clean up my place so i can bring the female over.  good suggestions oh white acid are you a squirel or are you pregnant with child?
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: Howard Alan Treesong on February 23, 2007, 02:30:37 PM
almost every girl I've ever dated has found BBC comedy to be a major turn-on. keep it out and proud, demi!

in fact I totally got some while watching SPACED this past weekend  :shh
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: The Fake Shemp on February 23, 2007, 02:31:04 PM
The special ingredient to any romantic evening is ketamine.
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: Flannel Boy on February 23, 2007, 02:32:08 PM
Just be yourself guys, girls always say they want honesty.  So when she comes over give her a romantic kiss, only for the purpose of giving her a major wedgie and be sure to constantly scratch-n-sniff your nuts.  Burp/fart at her, aim for the head.  Also, make sure to have had taco bell or something equally trashy to give you a great dump and then ask her if she wants to sniff/see it. 
But, that's what I've been doing.
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: demi on February 23, 2007, 02:32:54 PM
almost every girl I've ever dated has found BBC comedy to be a major turn-on. keep it out and proud, demi!

in fact I totally got some while watching SPACED this past weekend  :shh

Maybe she imagined you as Mr. Frost and got randy.
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: The Fake Shemp on February 23, 2007, 02:33:12 PM
I'm telling you, malek - ketamine.  It's like an aphrodisiac.
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: Tauntaun on February 23, 2007, 02:35:00 PM
The special ingredient to any romantic evening is ketamine.

I thought it was roofies and alcohol.... HIIYOOOO....ok I'm leaving.
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: Flannel Boy on February 23, 2007, 02:36:18 PM
I'm getting new sheets today and once i'm not sick I plan to clean up my place so i can bring the female over.  good suggestions oh white acid are you a squirel or are you pregnant with child?
Brand new bed spread, but same old bedsores.

I'm telling you, malek - ketamine.  It's like an aphrodisiac.
>:( :-\
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: Himu on February 23, 2007, 02:36:23 PM
(http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y6/mssmojorising/wtF/facered1an.jpg)

Is that real??  :-\
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: DJ_Tet on February 23, 2007, 02:36:43 PM
Special K is like roofies on steroids....or so I hear.
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: The Fake Shemp on February 23, 2007, 02:37:35 PM
Yeah, just a little bit of ketamine, and she'll bring throwing herself at you!

spoiler (click to show/hide)
When you position her as so, because she's lost her mind due to permanent brain damage!
[close]
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: Bacon on February 23, 2007, 02:38:15 PM
I have a Jimmy Hendrix poster in my bedroom.
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: Flannel Boy on February 23, 2007, 02:39:58 PM
I have a Jimmy Hendrix poster in my bedroom.
Electric Ladyland with all the nekkid ladies?
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: Yeti on February 23, 2007, 02:40:31 PM
I think we are jumping the gun here. How do we get the women into the room in the first place?
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: demi on February 23, 2007, 02:41:26 PM
I'm gay now, come over to my house Yeti
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: DJ_Tet on February 23, 2007, 02:42:44 PM
I think we are jumping the gun here. How do we get the women into the room in the first place?

Tell them it needs vaccuuming.
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: G The Resurrected on February 23, 2007, 02:44:02 PM
Only sores i have are love sores, i do have a few sores but they are from impacted hairs which is hereditary.
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: Madrun Badrun on February 23, 2007, 02:44:17 PM
I think we are jumping the gun here. How do we get the women into the room in the first place?

Tell them it needs vaccuuming.

 :lol.

Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: Tauntaun on February 23, 2007, 02:44:25 PM
I think we are jumping the gun here. How do we get the women into the room in the first place?

Tell them it needs vaccuuming.

 :lol  I :heartbeat you.
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: Bacon on February 23, 2007, 02:52:17 PM
I have a Jimmy Hendrix poster in my bedroom.
Electric Ladyland with all the nekkid ladies?

No it's Jimmy on a motorcycle.
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: DJ_Tet on February 23, 2007, 03:09:56 PM
Rock groupies made plaster casts of Jimi's allegedly large member.  I bet TVC has pics.
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: makaveli on February 23, 2007, 03:49:01 PM
giving them some ecstacey sounds easier
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: Mupepe on February 23, 2007, 04:31:19 PM
Regardless of your age, take down any pin-up posters of women or even men from the walls of your room, if you have any. Hide your dirty magazines. Hide any other things which could be taken as sexual in nature.

Most important, make your room clean and neat. Put a set of fresh sheets on bed and make bed in neat manner.

And the bathroom. Make it sparkling clean. Hang fresh towels. Put new bars of soap, one near the sink and the other in the shower.

Does your bathroom have a ventilator fan? Whether it has one or not, it's a good idea to have a room-odor eliminating spray can and place it prominently in front of a toilet bowl. (You know women sit, don't you?)

It would be a nice touch to have a new toothbrush in case she forget to bring her own.
A girl once told me she made the decision to sleep with me after she saw my bathroom and realized it was the cleanest bathroom she's ever seen that belonged to a man.
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: etiolate on February 23, 2007, 10:23:56 PM
If she can't handle the way I live, then there's no point to it.  I mean, I'll do this if she hides away all her body lotions, glamour magazines and Coldplay CDs.
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: Mupepe on February 23, 2007, 10:28:17 PM
If she can't handle the way I live, then there's no point to it.  I mean, I'll do this if she hides away all her body lotions, glamour magazines and Coldplay CDs.
I think the original advice was to get laid, not have a relationship.  Because it's always best to be yourself to have a relationship.
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: etiolate on February 23, 2007, 10:34:50 PM
But if you're whole purpose is getting laid, then you've already learned how to be like this.  I think the guys here want sex + relationship.

AND STILL

Bitch can stop bleeding once a month if she wants me to be Danny Tanner. I've lived with girls, their bathrooms are NOT clean.
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: Mupepe on February 23, 2007, 10:37:15 PM
But if you're whole purpose is getting laid, then you've already learned how to be like this.  I think the guys here want sex + relationship.

AND STILL

Bitch can stop bleeding once a month if she wants me to be Danny Tanner. I've lived with girls, their bathrooms are NOT clean.
They're horribly misguided by our lovey dovey culture. :(
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: Phoenix Dark on February 24, 2007, 11:31:25 AM
Very good advice but I'm confused about why you'd offer to sleep in another room. Under what circumstances does this come up? I would think that if she comes over to fool around than there will be no point in offering another bed - it would seem like you're uninterested in her
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: makaveli on February 24, 2007, 11:54:42 AM
Very good advice but I'm confused about why you'd offer to sleep in another room. Under what circumstances does this come up? I would think that if she comes over to fool around than there will be no point in offering another bed - it would seem like you're uninterested in her
if you live with your parents
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: Van Cruncheon on February 24, 2007, 01:28:38 PM
i would like to exchange this advice for some roofies and an appointment at the free clinic
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: Flannel Boy on February 24, 2007, 01:33:23 PM

I would like to exchange the advice for a membership at 40inchplus and a box of kleenex.
Title: Re: Advice from a girl
Post by: Beezy on February 24, 2007, 01:46:07 PM
I think we are jumping the gun here. How do we get the women into the room in the first place?

Tell them it needs vaccuuming.

 :lol