Author Topic: Advice from a girl  (Read 3037 times)

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whiteACID

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Advice from a girl
« on: February 23, 2007, 02:05:29 PM »
Regardless of your age, take down any pin-up posters of women or even men from the walls of your room, if you have any. Hide your dirty magazines. Hide any other things which could be taken as sexual in nature.

Most important, make your room clean and neat. Put a set of fresh sheets on bed and make bed in neat manner.

And the bathroom. Make it sparkling clean. Hang fresh towels. Put new bars of soap, one near the sink and the other in the shower.

Does your bathroom have a ventilator fan? Whether it has one or not, it's a good idea to have a room-odor eliminating spray can and place it prominently in front of a toilet bowl. (You know women sit, don't you?)

It would be a nice touch to have a new toothbrush in case she forget to bring her own.

Do you have another room you can sleep in? If you do, make an offer to her that you would sleep in another room and she can keep your whole room to herself during the night. She may say you wouldn't have to do that, but make an offer any way. That will give her the impression that you are a true gentleman (which you may not be).


Let's continue with our preparation.

After removing your dirty magazines (preferably OUT of your room in case she get the room to herself and possibly go through your stuff in the middle on night), put a few well-perceived magazines/newspapers, casually scattered around in your room.

Recommended magazines/newspapers:

National Geographic

Scientific American

Premier

Nature

Wall Street Journal

New York Times

Enquirer

We need a general news magazine:

U.S. News & World Report

We have to have a contingency plan then.

How many condoms should he have ready? (I guess he should hide them outside of his room, though.)

Should they be ribbed or smooth?

Oh yes, I almost forgot, a box of Kleenex. Yes, that's an essential item.
boo

Tauntaun

  • I'm cute, you should be too.
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Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #1 on: February 23, 2007, 02:07:59 PM »
If I'm married does that mean I win this thread? :hyper
:)

Himu

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Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #2 on: February 23, 2007, 02:09:12 PM »
White Acid! Get on aim, sweetness!
IYKYK

whiteACID

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Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #3 on: February 23, 2007, 02:09:54 PM »
White Acid! Get on aim, sweetness!
I'm at work!
boo

DJ_Tet

  • Senior Member
Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #4 on: February 23, 2007, 02:10:30 PM »
How about Discover and Tips and Tricks?

Or old, topical newspaper headlines?  Is a bunch of Sept 12th newspapers strewn about a bad idea?


I've got a clean, new pink toothbrush just waiting if you need a roadtrip.  And I'll even sleep on the couch.
TIT

Himu

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Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #5 on: February 23, 2007, 02:10:42 PM »
IYKYK

whiteACID

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Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #6 on: February 23, 2007, 02:13:46 PM »
I have a pink toothbrush
boo

Flannel Boy

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Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #7 on: February 23, 2007, 02:13:52 PM »
Regardless of your age, take down any pin-up posters of women or even men from the walls of your room, if you have any. Hide your dirty magazines. Hide any other things which could be taken as sexual in nature.

Do 14 Beatles posters count... if you know, they are of a sexual nature to me?

Most important, make your room clean and neat. Put a set of fresh sheets on bed and make bed in neat manner.
Fresh bed sheets? That's like worrying about how you're going to put on the 'Green Jacket' when you can't even hit the god damned golf ball.




How many condoms should he have ready? (I guess he should hide them outside of his room, though.)

Should they be ribbed or smooth?


My condoms are warning me about AIDS and the Y2K bug!



Oh yes, I almost forgot, a box of Kleenex. Yes, that's an essential item.


for when you are alone yet again and have to clean up your 'mess'.




DJ_Tet

  • Senior Member
Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #8 on: February 23, 2007, 02:14:37 PM »
I have a pink toothbrush

Cool.  Bring it with.
TIT

Robo

  • Senior Member
Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #9 on: February 23, 2007, 02:15:43 PM »
Step 1.  Pretend to be a metro douche.

Step 2.  Pretend to be intelligent.

Step 3.  Pretend to be a pussy.

Step 4.  ??????

Step 5.  Profit.

Do I have this about right?
obo

demi

  • cooler than willco
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Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #10 on: February 23, 2007, 02:16:58 PM »
What about all these games of mine?

What about my spanning British comedy collection?
fat

whiteACID

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Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #11 on: February 23, 2007, 02:17:19 PM »
What about all these games of mine?

What about my spanning British comedy collection?
Unacceptable
boo

demi

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Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #12 on: February 23, 2007, 02:19:13 PM »
Then I guess I'm just gonna have to turn gay.
fat

Madrun Badrun

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Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #13 on: February 23, 2007, 02:19:19 PM »
What about all these games of mine?

What about my spanning British comedy collection?
Unacceptable

what about rum under the bathroom sink, and no door on the bathroom?

The Fake Shemp

  • Ebola Carrier
Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #14 on: February 23, 2007, 02:19:37 PM »
This advice is like 25%, 75% suck.
PSP

DJ_Tet

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Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #15 on: February 23, 2007, 02:19:48 PM »
Guitar in the corner is the ticket to wet and loose women  :-*
TIT

Madrun Badrun

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Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #16 on: February 23, 2007, 02:23:01 PM »
Guitar in the corner is the ticket to wet and loose women  :-*

but that only counts if you can play it and its not just sitting because of great ambitions in grade 6.... unfortionatly  :(

DJ_Tet

  • Senior Member
Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #17 on: February 23, 2007, 02:24:49 PM »
True.  Gotta be able to strum the strings to umm...strum the strings.


Luckily I can play a little.  Bring that toothbrush red  :-*
TIT

Flannel Boy

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Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #18 on: February 23, 2007, 02:27:45 PM »
Guitar in the corner is the ticket to wet and loose women  :-*
I have an instrument... an organ if you will.

whiteACID

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Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #19 on: February 23, 2007, 02:28:21 PM »
boo

Tauntaun

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Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #20 on: February 23, 2007, 02:29:10 PM »
Just be yourself guys, girls always say they want honesty.  So when she comes over give her a romantic kiss, only for the purpose of giving her a major wedgie and be sure to constantly scratch-n-sniff your nuts.  Burp/fart at her, aim for the head.  Also, make sure to have had taco bell or something equally trashy to give you a great dump and then ask her if she wants to sniff/see it. 
:)

DJ_Tet

  • Senior Member
Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #21 on: February 23, 2007, 02:29:47 PM »
(Image removed from quote.)

photobucket is blocked from work, your image is lost on me.  how sad
TIT

G The Resurrected

  • Senior Member
Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #22 on: February 23, 2007, 02:30:24 PM »
I'm getting new sheets today and once i'm not sick I plan to clean up my place so i can bring the female over.  good suggestions oh white acid are you a squirel or are you pregnant with child?

Howard Alan Treesong

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Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #23 on: February 23, 2007, 02:30:37 PM »
almost every girl I've ever dated has found BBC comedy to be a major turn-on. keep it out and proud, demi!

in fact I totally got some while watching SPACED this past weekend  :shh
乱学者

The Fake Shemp

  • Ebola Carrier
Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #24 on: February 23, 2007, 02:31:04 PM »
The special ingredient to any romantic evening is ketamine.
PSP

Flannel Boy

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Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #25 on: February 23, 2007, 02:32:08 PM »
Just be yourself guys, girls always say they want honesty.  So when she comes over give her a romantic kiss, only for the purpose of giving her a major wedgie and be sure to constantly scratch-n-sniff your nuts.  Burp/fart at her, aim for the head.  Also, make sure to have had taco bell or something equally trashy to give you a great dump and then ask her if she wants to sniff/see it. 
But, that's what I've been doing.

demi

  • cooler than willco
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Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #26 on: February 23, 2007, 02:32:54 PM »
almost every girl I've ever dated has found BBC comedy to be a major turn-on. keep it out and proud, demi!

in fact I totally got some while watching SPACED this past weekend  :shh

Maybe she imagined you as Mr. Frost and got randy.
fat

The Fake Shemp

  • Ebola Carrier
Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #27 on: February 23, 2007, 02:33:12 PM »
I'm telling you, malek - ketamine.  It's like an aphrodisiac.
PSP

Tauntaun

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Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #28 on: February 23, 2007, 02:35:00 PM »
The special ingredient to any romantic evening is ketamine.

I thought it was roofies and alcohol.... HIIYOOOO....ok I'm leaving.
:)

Flannel Boy

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Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #29 on: February 23, 2007, 02:36:18 PM »
I'm getting new sheets today and once i'm not sick I plan to clean up my place so i can bring the female over.  good suggestions oh white acid are you a squirel or are you pregnant with child?
Brand new bed spread, but same old bedsores.

I'm telling you, malek - ketamine.  It's like an aphrodisiac.
>:( :-\

Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #30 on: February 23, 2007, 02:36:23 PM »
IYKYK

DJ_Tet

  • Senior Member
Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #31 on: February 23, 2007, 02:36:43 PM »
Special K is like roofies on steroids....or so I hear.
TIT

The Fake Shemp

  • Ebola Carrier
Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #32 on: February 23, 2007, 02:37:35 PM »
Yeah, just a little bit of ketamine, and she'll bring throwing herself at you!

spoiler (click to show/hide)
When you position her as so, because she's lost her mind due to permanent brain damage!
[close]
PSP

Bacon

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Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #33 on: February 23, 2007, 02:38:15 PM »
I have a Jimmy Hendrix poster in my bedroom.

Flannel Boy

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Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #34 on: February 23, 2007, 02:39:58 PM »
I have a Jimmy Hendrix poster in my bedroom.
Electric Ladyland with all the nekkid ladies?

Yeti

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Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #35 on: February 23, 2007, 02:40:31 PM »
I think we are jumping the gun here. How do we get the women into the room in the first place?
WDW

demi

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Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #36 on: February 23, 2007, 02:41:26 PM »
I'm gay now, come over to my house Yeti
fat

DJ_Tet

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Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #37 on: February 23, 2007, 02:42:44 PM »
I think we are jumping the gun here. How do we get the women into the room in the first place?

Tell them it needs vaccuuming.
TIT

G The Resurrected

  • Senior Member
Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #38 on: February 23, 2007, 02:44:02 PM »
Only sores i have are love sores, i do have a few sores but they are from impacted hairs which is hereditary.

Madrun Badrun

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Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #39 on: February 23, 2007, 02:44:17 PM »
I think we are jumping the gun here. How do we get the women into the room in the first place?

Tell them it needs vaccuuming.

 :lol.


Tauntaun

  • I'm cute, you should be too.
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Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #40 on: February 23, 2007, 02:44:25 PM »
I think we are jumping the gun here. How do we get the women into the room in the first place?

Tell them it needs vaccuuming.

 :lol  I :heartbeat you.
:)

Bacon

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Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #41 on: February 23, 2007, 02:52:17 PM »
I have a Jimmy Hendrix poster in my bedroom.
Electric Ladyland with all the nekkid ladies?

No it's Jimmy on a motorcycle.

DJ_Tet

  • Senior Member
Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #42 on: February 23, 2007, 03:09:56 PM »
Rock groupies made plaster casts of Jimi's allegedly large member.  I bet TVC has pics.
TIT

makaveli

  • Ebola Carrier
Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #43 on: February 23, 2007, 03:49:01 PM »
giving them some ecstacey sounds easier

Mupepe

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Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #44 on: February 23, 2007, 04:31:19 PM »
Regardless of your age, take down any pin-up posters of women or even men from the walls of your room, if you have any. Hide your dirty magazines. Hide any other things which could be taken as sexual in nature.

Most important, make your room clean and neat. Put a set of fresh sheets on bed and make bed in neat manner.

And the bathroom. Make it sparkling clean. Hang fresh towels. Put new bars of soap, one near the sink and the other in the shower.

Does your bathroom have a ventilator fan? Whether it has one or not, it's a good idea to have a room-odor eliminating spray can and place it prominently in front of a toilet bowl. (You know women sit, don't you?)

It would be a nice touch to have a new toothbrush in case she forget to bring her own.
A girl once told me she made the decision to sleep with me after she saw my bathroom and realized it was the cleanest bathroom she's ever seen that belonged to a man.

etiolate

  • Senior Member
Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #45 on: February 23, 2007, 10:23:56 PM »
If she can't handle the way I live, then there's no point to it.  I mean, I'll do this if she hides away all her body lotions, glamour magazines and Coldplay CDs.

Mupepe

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Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #46 on: February 23, 2007, 10:28:17 PM »
If she can't handle the way I live, then there's no point to it.  I mean, I'll do this if she hides away all her body lotions, glamour magazines and Coldplay CDs.
I think the original advice was to get laid, not have a relationship.  Because it's always best to be yourself to have a relationship.

etiolate

  • Senior Member
Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #47 on: February 23, 2007, 10:34:50 PM »
But if you're whole purpose is getting laid, then you've already learned how to be like this.  I think the guys here want sex + relationship.

AND STILL

Bitch can stop bleeding once a month if she wants me to be Danny Tanner. I've lived with girls, their bathrooms are NOT clean.

Mupepe

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Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #48 on: February 23, 2007, 10:37:15 PM »
But if you're whole purpose is getting laid, then you've already learned how to be like this.  I think the guys here want sex + relationship.

AND STILL

Bitch can stop bleeding once a month if she wants me to be Danny Tanner. I've lived with girls, their bathrooms are NOT clean.
They're horribly misguided by our lovey dovey culture. :(

Phoenix Dark

  • I got no game it's just some bitches understand my story
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Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #49 on: February 24, 2007, 11:31:25 AM »
Very good advice but I'm confused about why you'd offer to sleep in another room. Under what circumstances does this come up? I would think that if she comes over to fool around than there will be no point in offering another bed - it would seem like you're uninterested in her
010

makaveli

  • Ebola Carrier
Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #50 on: February 24, 2007, 11:54:42 AM »
Very good advice but I'm confused about why you'd offer to sleep in another room. Under what circumstances does this come up? I would think that if she comes over to fool around than there will be no point in offering another bed - it would seem like you're uninterested in her
if you live with your parents

Van Cruncheon

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Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #51 on: February 24, 2007, 01:28:38 PM »
i would like to exchange this advice for some roofies and an appointment at the free clinic
duc

Flannel Boy

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Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #52 on: February 24, 2007, 01:33:23 PM »

I would like to exchange the advice for a membership at 40inchplus and a box of kleenex.

Beezy

  • Senior Member
Re: Advice from a girl
« Reply #53 on: February 24, 2007, 01:46:07 PM »
I think we are jumping the gun here. How do we get the women into the room in the first place?

Tell them it needs vaccuuming.

 :lol