I wanted to go to the movies today to see something. Nothing in particular, just had the urge for the theatre experience. I pull up Fandango and eyeball the prospects.
1408 - Cusack and a good-not-great Stephen King story. The movie seems to be getting decent reviews. The trailer showed a bit too much, but hey, what trailer doesn't? Studios can't do anything right. Unfortunately, the nearest joint it's showing at has appeared to stagger its viewings, likely so it could use its theatre to show something potentially bigger during the viewing hours when it is not showing. There are only 2 showings left today, one at 4ish, and another at 830. Both times are inconvenient for me.
Live Free or Die Hard - I won't endorse this with my money.
Evan Almighty - I'm getting tired of Steve Carell. Well, I mean, thats not the only reason to write this one off. We all know it's an insipid feel good family shitbucket devised to reel in turd-munching middle American flies. But Steve Carell, I dunno. I don't like him any more. Cachet, sunk, and luckily this movie will make it difficult for him to get more big roles in flicks. Also, The Office season 3 blew nuts. You know in your heart that it is true.
Fantastic Four 2 - I was a defender of the first one. . .but only because I got to see it for free. Looking at the reviews and hearing Will proclaim it as better than Spider-Man 3, I have been lead to believe that the movie's entertainment value is somewhere between drowning in a pit of glue and getting to be ManaByte's fluffer during the filming of The Phantom Anus.
Ocean's Thirteen - Soderbergh is a terrible filmmaker. I could do a little rant on him, but why bother when the subject matter is something that can be as easily sniped as a new lousy Ocean's movie? The first two movies sucked, and sequels usually get worse. Stupid Hollywood vanity pictures. These movies are almost as bad as Mr. and Mrs. Smith (one of the worse movies I have ever seen).
Knocked Up - Becoming a candidate. For whatever reason I don't really see this as a theatre movie. I very rarely go to theatres, and when I do go, I want spectacle. No knock, I am sure it is great.
Pirates 3 - LOL.
Shrek 3 - See Ocean's Thirteen. If the first two movies sucked, the third one is likely to suck even moreso.
Ratatouille - I want to see this so very badly. What's the problem? Never, *ever* go to a movie marketed at kids on opening weekend. Children are revolting creatures, only slightly less revolting than their asshole, undisciplining parents. If I went to see this during opening weekend, there would be children yelling, screaming, crying, pissing, puking, and shitting in the aisles; asshole parents not doing a thing, gabbing on their cell phones, thinking that they have paid 10 dollars for some sort of playground access or babysitting service. Ratatouille is probably a great movie, but access to movie theatres should be confined to only people that are 18 or older, and have never had children. Thank you, culture of breeding, for ruining a potentially great movie-watching experience.
