Author Topic: The Bourne Ultimatum looks bad (Read 3370 times)

The Fake Shemp · « **on:** July 01, 2007, 07:33:36 PM »

I saw the recent trailer yesterday. So the point of this film is that the CIA is going to kill him or attempt to kill him again? Because that worked so well the first two times. So we get to see another film of the CIA bumbling to kill Jason Bourne, while he TURNS THE TABLES ON THEM and ends in some kind of plot twist (the dude at the top is really a bad guy!) that results in nothing being resolved.

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #1 on:** July 01, 2007, 07:34:23 PM »

Go fuck yourself.

Junpei the Tracer! · « **Reply #2 on:** July 01, 2007, 07:35:15 PM »

But he remembers this time...

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #3 on:** July 01, 2007, 07:35:23 PM »

Willco is just trying to retaliate for The Daaaawwwhhhhknesss trolling thats been happening in the Gaming forum

HATE BREEDS HATE

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #4 on:** July 01, 2007, 07:37:11 PM »

Don't be bitter because they are making the same movie over and over!

You'd probably pay money to see The Bourne Preservation, where the CIA attempts to kill Bourne again, while he TURNS THE TABLES ON THEM and the dude at the top dies.

FatalT · « **Reply #5 on:** July 01, 2007, 07:37:24 PM »

What was the book about? That should be, y'know, what the movie adaptation is about.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #6 on:** July 01, 2007, 07:37:52 PM »

But the movies have very little to do with the books.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #7 on:** July 01, 2007, 07:39:46 PM »

If this Bourne movie is anything close to what I said in my original post and they start working on a sequel, at that point they should just create a Bourne script generator.

THIS TIME, A NEW CIA HEAD HONCHO REMEMBERS THAT BOURNE HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH YET ANOTHER BOTCHED BLACK OPS MISSION AND MUST LURE HIM ON THE GRID TO KILL HIM. BUT JASON BOURNE HAS OTHER PLANS.

THE BOURNE DETERMINATION. COMING 2010.

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #8 on:** July 01, 2007, 07:40:03 PM »

It's a goddamn trailer. I wasn't even paying attention to the plot points laid out.

CAR CHASES
FIGHTING
OMG

They might as well just make it a franchise like Bond lolz

Vizzys · « **Reply #9 on:** July 01, 2007, 07:40:54 PM »

BOURNE REMEMBERS NOW

FatalT · « **Reply #10 on:** July 01, 2007, 07:40:59 PM »

LOLOLOLOL

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #11 on:** July 01, 2007, 07:41:08 PM »

I sense a new meme

Variations of the Bourne movie names!

THE BOURNE PROCRASTINATION

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #12 on:** July 01, 2007, 07:41:15 PM »

And I just remembered...I saw an ad on the subway yesterday for another Bourne book...what's up with that?

THE BOURNE INDOCTRINATION

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #13 on:** July 01, 2007, 07:41:51 PM »

I don't mind if they whore the Bourne license out like Bond films, but at least the Bond flicks shook it up while retaining the qualities that people enjoyed.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #14 on:** July 01, 2007, 07:42:46 PM »

THE BOURNE DEFECATION

Watch as the Bourne films shit on Matt Damon's career!

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #15 on:** July 01, 2007, 07:42:51 PM »

THE BOURNE MENSTRUATION

MyNameIsMethodis · « **Reply #16 on:** July 01, 2007, 07:43:17 PM »

Quote from: Willco on July 01, 2007, 07:39:46 PM

If this Bourne movie is anything close to what I said in my original post and they start working on a sequel, at that point they should just create a Bourne script generator.

THIS TIME, A NEW CIA HEAD HONCHO REMEMBERS THAT BOURNE HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH YET ANOTHER BOTCHED BLACK OPS MISSION AND MUST LURE HIM ON THE GRID TO KILL HIM. BUT JASON BOURNE HAS OTHER PLANS.

THE BOURNE DETERMINATION. COMING 2010.

Heres you: -

Heres the ground: =

Heres your joke: 0

FatalT · « **Reply #17 on:** July 01, 2007, 07:43:21 PM »

Quote from: Willco on July 01, 2007, 07:42:46 PM

THE BOURNE DEFECATION

Watch as the Bourne films shit on Matt Damon's career!

Just as long as the Team America version of Matt Damon is the star, I'll give it a 10/10. "MAAAAT DAAAAMMMMOOOOON!"

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #18 on:** July 01, 2007, 07:44:08 PM »

It's unfortunate we can't do something like THE STILL BOURNE

Vizzys · « **Reply #19 on:** July 01, 2007, 07:46:22 PM »

there are more then 3 bourne books

MORE BOURNE

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #20 on:** July 01, 2007, 07:47:51 PM »

Yes! Finally more film adaptations that have nothing to do with the books and are about how a new head honcho for the CIA wants to kill Jason Bourne! BUT THIS TIME IT WILL BE DIFFERENT BECAUSE JASON BOURNE WILL [ENTER PLOT TWIST HERE].

FatalT · « **Reply #21 on:** July 01, 2007, 07:48:37 PM »

Quote from: Viz on July 01, 2007, 07:46:22 PM

there are more then 3 bourne books

MORE BOURNE

I can't wait for the 5th movie. In the book version, Bourne is taken over by a supernatural entity that allows him to do things he couldn't do as a normal human. He starts to go after the head operatives of the CIA because he's still angry that they killed his girl. Throughout the movie Bourne kills himself and goes to a form of hell, where he fights to come back to life. It's pretty awesome.

Error Macro · « **Reply #22 on:** July 01, 2007, 07:51:19 PM »

I can't wait for The Bourne Supplantation. He doesn't just turn the tables on the CIA, he becomes the damn CIA.

The trailer for Ultimatum is awesome. I, like Cajole, didn't even pay attention to any possible plot points. Nor do I care to. Put the Bourne name on a movie, fill it with ACTION, and I'm there.

Will, we still have the horror movies, right? Right? $:-\$

FatalT · « **Reply #23 on:** July 01, 2007, 07:52:25 PM »

Quote from: Error Macro on July 01, 2007, 07:51:19 PM

Will, we still have the horror movies, right? Right? $:-\$

Generic killer A uses signature trademark killing technique B. Killer A dies at the movie only to be magically alive again in the sequel.

Yup, looks like we've still got those!

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #24 on:** July 01, 2007, 07:53:19 PM »

Quote from: FatalT on July 01, 2007, 07:48:37 PM

I can't wait for the 5th movie. In the book version, Bourne is taken over by a supernatural entity that allows him to do things he couldn't do as a normal human. He starts to go after the head operatives of the CIA because he's still angry that they killed his girl. Throughout the movie Bourne kills himself and goes to a form of hell, where he fights to come back to life. It's pretty awesome.

Quote from: Error Macro

I can't wait for The Bourne Supplantation. He doesn't just turn the tables on the CIA, he becomes the damn CIA.

JASON BOURNE BECOMES THE CIA AND THEN HAS TO FIGHT HIMSELF BUT HOW HE CAN TURN THE TABLES ON HIMSELF?

FatalT · « **Reply #25 on:** July 01, 2007, 07:55:29 PM »

Quote from: Willco on July 01, 2007, 07:53:19 PM

JASON BOURNE BECOMES THE CIA AND THEN HAS TO FIGHT HIMSELF BUT HOW HE CAN TURN THE TABLES ON HIMSELF?

The secret is that to beat himself he has to put away his weapons and just walk into himself. IT'S THAT EASY!

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #26 on:** July 01, 2007, 07:56:47 PM »

Dude, it took me like ten times to figure that out.

FatalT · « **Reply #27 on:** July 01, 2007, 07:57:35 PM »

Quote from: Willco on July 01, 2007, 07:56:47 PM

Dude, it took me like ten times to figure that out.

Haha, yeah. I kept shooting and was getting mad at the black holes. Eventually I was just like, maybe I can slap him.

demi · « **Reply #28 on:** July 01, 2007, 08:00:51 PM »

Rather than have a childhood friend, Bourne instead loves her and has deep maddening sex, but prior to that they sit down to a nice viewing of To Kill A Mockingbird.

Achievement Unlocked, he thinks, as he slowly enters her chamber of secrets.

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #29 on:** July 01, 2007, 08:02:01 PM »

Quote from: demi on July 01, 2007, 08:00:51 PM

Rather than have a childhood friend, Bourne instead loves her and has deep maddening sex, but prior to that they sit down to a nice viewing of To Kill A Mockingbird.

Achievement Unlocked, he thinks, as he slowly enters her chamber of secrets.

THE BOURNE PHOENIXDARK

FatalT · « **Reply #30 on:** July 01, 2007, 08:02:55 PM »

Quote from: CajoleJuice on July 01, 2007, 08:02:01 PM

Quote from: demi on July 01, 2007, 08:00:51 PM
Rather than have a childhood friend, Bourne instead loves her and has deep maddening sex, but prior to that they sit down to a nice viewing of To Kill A Mockingbird.

Achievement Unlocked, he thinks, as he slowly enters her chamber of secrets.

THE BOURNE PHOENIXDARK

DAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHKNESSSSSSSSSSSSS!

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #31 on:** July 01, 2007, 08:04:27 PM »

The Darkness brings us closer together, even with its flaws. Whereas The Bourne Impregnation will tear our souls apart!

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #32 on:** July 01, 2007, 08:22:40 PM »

Real Talk

First two Bourne movies were better than any SPIDER HYPHEN MAN movie, and the third will be as well.

Real Talk

FatalT · « **Reply #33 on:** July 01, 2007, 08:23:08 PM »

Quote from: Raoul Duke on July 01, 2007, 08:22:40 PM

Real Talk

First two Bourne movies were better than any SPIDER HYPHEN MAN movie, and the third will be as well.

Real Talk

Agreed.

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #34 on:** July 01, 2007, 08:23:29 PM »

Quote from: Raoul Duke on July 01, 2007, 08:22:40 PM

Real Talk

First two Bourne movies were better than any SPIDER HYPHEN MAN movie, and the third will be as well.

Real Talk

Well, no shit.

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #35 on:** July 01, 2007, 08:25:00 PM »

Quote from: Raoul Duke on July 01, 2007, 08:22:40 PM

Real Talk

First two Bourne movies were better than any SPIDER HYPHEN MAN movie, and the third will be as well.

Real Talk

duh

The Bourne Antiquing: Bourne buys some old furniture and turns the tables on the CIA.

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #36 on:** July 01, 2007, 08:25:45 PM »

Federwang with the shit taste confirmed.

"I LIKE SAM RAIMI, AND ALSO THE SECOND FANTASTIC FOUR MOVIE WAS IN SOME WAY ENJOYABLE, NOT AT ALL LIKE INFLICTING PAPER CUTS ON MY EYEBALLS!"

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #37 on:** July 01, 2007, 08:35:40 PM »

When did I say I hated the first two? I like them, but why would I go see the same movie three times in a row!

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #38 on:** July 01, 2007, 08:36:08 PM »

Quote from: Malek: King of Kings on July 01, 2007, 08:25:00 PM

The Bourne Antiquing: Bourne buys some old furniture and turns the tables on the CIA.

Is this before or after THE BOURNE FIRESALE?

Howard Alan Treesong · « **Reply #39 on:** July 01, 2007, 08:38:52 PM »

The Bourne Ultra-Lounge: Jason Bourne becomes a house DJ and turns the tables on the ricky ricky RE-MIX

MrAngryFace · « **Reply #40 on:** July 01, 2007, 10:14:16 PM »

Willco liking Spider-Man 3 forces me to find movie opinions elsewhere lol

TakingBackSunday · « **Reply #41 on:** July 01, 2007, 10:29:43 PM »

Er, I don't believe he ever said he liked Spider-Man 3. He just didn't hate it like I or others did.

MrAngryFace · « **Reply #42 on:** July 01, 2007, 10:57:37 PM »

Giving it ANY credit is far too much

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #43 on:** July 01, 2007, 11:37:17 PM »

Bah, it's not like you listened to my opinions before!

News:

Author Topic: The Bourne Ultimatum looks bad (Read 3370 times)