Author Topic: Shocking: Wow, Transformers was an abysmal movie (Read 12303 times)

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #60 on:** July 08, 2007, 12:30:49 AM »

Depending on the presentation, the material and the audience - theater experiences can be a ton of fun. If you don't get it, well, that's just kind of an experience thing. It's why I usually see dumb blockbusters in theaters, because they lose that feeling at home.

Mupepe · « **Reply #61 on:** July 08, 2007, 12:35:31 AM »

Quote from: Willco on July 08, 2007, 12:30:49 AM

Depending on the presentation, the material and the audience - theater experiences can be a ton of fun. If you don't get it, well, that's just kind of an experience thing. It's why I usually see dumb blockbusters in theaters, because they lose that feeling at home.

ONLY IF YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS WILLCO

Lemurs: The Sequel · « **Reply #62 on:** July 08, 2007, 12:48:10 AM »

Was Transformers in essence... lubing up the wine bottle of your childhood and inserting it forcefully into the anus of your inner child?

MrAngryFace · « **Reply #63 on:** July 08, 2007, 12:49:41 AM »

dumb people give dumb blockbusters dumb scores

Beezy · « **Reply #64 on:** July 08, 2007, 12:50:13 AM »

Quote from: Lemurs: The Sequel on July 08, 2007, 12:48:10 AM

wine bottle of your childhood

What does this even mean?

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #65 on:** July 08, 2007, 12:59:12 AM »

oh, willco

i loved house of the dead, and i'd still give it an f.

Lemurs: The Sequel · « **Reply #66 on:** July 08, 2007, 01:03:43 AM »

I'm using the wine bottle as a physical representative of your childhood.

I chose a wine bottle in particular because it can, with little elbow grease and lubriderm, be inserted into the ass and/or vagina with minimal bleeding. The flared design of the bottle prevents it (in most cases) from becoming lodged in the rectum. Which is a safety feature not found in other objects such as cucumbers, bananas, and carrots. Often the use of such objects results in a trip to a medical professionals office.

MrAngryFace · « **Reply #67 on:** July 08, 2007, 01:08:09 AM »

I think willco confuses attempted humor with actual humor

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #68 on:** July 08, 2007, 01:08:28 AM »

someone please excise lemurs' chancrous humor gland

Mandark · « **Reply #69 on:** July 08, 2007, 01:21:13 AM »

Quote from: Willco on July 08, 2007, 12:17:09 AM

I don't think military and gun porn made it any more serious than it was trying to be - in fact it was pretty awesome.

...

Mondain · « **Reply #70 on:** July 08, 2007, 01:22:04 AM »

thx for the unbiased impressions, I was intrigued by it for a while because Violating found that it was one of the best action movies of the last few years, even if I thought that as a long time Transformers fan, he was possibly just forcing himself to like it... now it's pretty much confirmed, how could this movie not be a disaster?

I'll just wait to rent it on Blu-Ray

is this the kind of flick which is so bad that it's good if you like to watch mediocre things just to laugh at them?

ferrarimanf355 · « **Reply #71 on:** July 08, 2007, 01:27:05 AM »

I now have one more reason to hate you.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #72 on:** July 08, 2007, 01:27:49 AM »

I'm sorry, Mandark - I'm a sucker for the LETS ROLL OUT AND SHOOT 'EM UP military bravado.

Quote from: Lil' Slugger

I think willco confuses attempted humor with actual humor

Hey, I'm all for subjective poppycock, but by other folks' admissions (including those who didn't care for the movie), it was very much humorous.

And unlike House of the Dead, Drinky, Bay & Co. have achieved something no others have ever done - realistic, giant robots blowing shit up in a way only giant robots can. It's all live action. It doesn't look fake. And that imagery alone sells the film for me - it's that awesome. I didn't expect the humor or quick pace, which catapults the film to the top of the dumb blockbuster heap. It won't win any end of the year honors, not even from me, but it's a very enjoyable and fun film that easily ranks amongst the best Hollywood has churned out for its tentpole flicks in recent years.

TVC15 · « **Reply #73 on:** July 08, 2007, 01:32:14 AM »

Imagery? Dude, aside from nice looking CG, the direction is so merely competent that that this could have been a SciFi Channel movie (not counting the action sequences, which are sub-competent).

And no, Mondain, it's not so bad it's good.

Mandark · « **Reply #74 on:** July 08, 2007, 01:34:41 AM »

Quote from: Willco on July 08, 2007, 01:27:49 AM

And unlike House of the Dead, Drinky, Bay & Co. have achieved something no others have ever done - realistic, giant robots blowing shit up in a way only giant robots can.

Dude, War of the Worlds. Unless it's really important that the giant machines in an action sequence are sentient, rather than having pilots, which seems kind of beside the point.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #75 on:** July 08, 2007, 01:35:04 AM »

I don't get how anyone could think Michael Bay is not a competent action director. For my money, he's the best second unit director in the business parading as an actual director. I love the way he shoots action, I just wish he'd expand on his style. He's been reusing too many shots from Bad Boys and Armageddon.

War of the Worlds featured walking things shooting lasers at people, Mandark. Not even in the same ballpark.

demi · « **Reply #76 on:** July 08, 2007, 01:36:48 AM »

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/news/comments/?entryid=432709

Quote

"Tom had one creative meeting with me for one hour and ten minutes to be exact about a year ago. He told he was the über fan boy and was going to protect me from the minefields. The type of minefields on the Net like 'Damn you Michael Bay' 'You wrecked my childhood Michael Bay' and other various web death threats I received. Tom proceeded to tell me how much he had problems with the robot designs and script issues. I realized he was worlds apart in my vision. I said thank you very much, and then showed him my office door - I never really spoke to him again other then to mutter hello. He would occasionally come to the set with guests like it was some theme park. I never spoke creatively with Don. I read his notes kind of trashing the script and making me and the writers feel like a big shit pile. But during production Don was nice to me, he knew I was not going to talk creative with him.

One day not too long ago, the writers of our movie Alex and Bob called me in a panic saying all of a sudden after the movie was almost finished in post that Tom was applying for writer's or story credit. I was appalled because neither the writer's nor I ever saw any treatment. Well, he applied for credit, but the Writer's Guild shot him down, denied him.

But what made my blood curl was something that was on the Net with Tom at the Saturn awards on IESB.net where they interviewed him about the movie - a movie I might add he had not seen yet. He acted very much like he did. Check it out as he vamps through the questions, and how Hugo put his 'thumb print on it'. Give me a break, the guy was lying through his teeth - he had seen nada, nothing, until the press screening."

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #77 on:** July 08, 2007, 01:37:34 AM »

Michael Bay is definitely an egomaniac.

ferrarimanf355 · « **Reply #78 on:** July 08, 2007, 01:39:30 AM »

Quote from: demi on July 07, 2007, 11:57:49 PM

YOU CANT BUY GOOD EXPLOSIONS THE SIZE OF CUBA

Fixt.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]

Mondain · « **Reply #79 on:** July 08, 2007, 01:45:20 AM »

well, I found Enemy of the State to be fairly entertaining...

Mandark · « **Reply #80 on:** July 08, 2007, 01:50:24 AM »

Were ANY of the plotlines really necessary? Pretty much the entire movie is killing time until the robots finally fight. You could ditch the love interest, the parents, 90% of the military stuff, Sector 7, the arctic flashbacks, The Crocodile Hacker, and it wouldn't hurt the movie at all.

I think that's the big structural flaw. The Transformers are the basis for the climax, but up to that point they're guests in their own movie. It's all based on getting to that one huge fight scene at the end, which is expected, but it doesn't build to the fight scene, it just sort of kills time on other things until they finally have it.

Is there another popcorn flick where the main protagonists in the climactic fight scene are minor characters up to that point?

TakingBackSunday · « **Reply #81 on:** July 08, 2007, 02:05:16 AM »

$:-\$

Anyone trying to go into this movie for any reason OTHER than seeing shit blown up is pretty fucking stupid. It was a mindless, entertaining action movie. Probably won't ever see it again, but I don't really care. I had fun with my friends when I saw it, and that's all that matters.

Again, Evilbore goes way way way WAAYYY to far into a movie to try and break it down, when really all these summer movies try to do is fucking get your blood pumping.. You don't have to follow a plot, no matter what its quality, to get this.

Mandark · « **Reply #82 on:** July 08, 2007, 02:08:22 AM »

But there are good dumb entertaining movies, and bad dumb entertaining movies.

Something can be lowbrow and action-oriented without being, you know, shitty.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #83 on:** July 08, 2007, 02:09:42 AM »

That's obviously where there is a divide, though - some folks don't think it's shitty.

Mandark · « **Reply #84 on:** July 08, 2007, 02:53:05 AM »

SOME folks are still getting a contact high off a good audience reaction.

MrAngryFace · « **Reply #85 on:** July 08, 2007, 02:55:07 AM »

Haha, Bay 2nd best at directing action. Holy shit, THATS comedy.

Bloodwake · « **Reply #86 on:** July 08, 2007, 02:57:22 AM »

Quote from: Lil' Slugger on July 08, 2007, 02:55:07 AM

Haha, Bay 2nd best at directing action. Holy shit, THATS comedy.

Yeah. I think I can direct a better action sequence with my penis.

Solo · « **Reply #87 on:** July 08, 2007, 09:31:01 AM »

Quote from: Lil' Slugger on July 07, 2007, 11:46:04 PM

Its clear from his previous work that he has no idea how to direct an action sequence.

Its clear from his previous work that the only thing he can do well is direct an action sequence. Lay off the drugs/Picket Fences, MAF.

BamYouHaveAids · « **Reply #88 on:** July 08, 2007, 10:51:51 AM »

Quote from: BlueTsuAnimu on July 07, 2007, 11:54:19 PM

1408 was awesome

Quote from: Willco on July 07, 2007, 11:54:13 PM
Was 1408 that Stephen King movie/book (I can't keep track)?

Yep, inspired by the short story

Whatchusay?

Disposable White Guy · « **Reply #89 on:** July 08, 2007, 11:00:10 AM »

The movie certainly suffered from lack of giant robots fighting each other. Being reminded LOL DIS B Y TEH ROBUTZ HAV 2 FITE every ten minutes got annoying, but at least Anthony Anderson's scenes were memorable. Seriously. He ate the whole fucking plate of donuts man!

DJ_Tet · « **Reply #90 on:** July 08, 2007, 12:15:11 PM »

I've seen it twice now. It's definitely not perfect, but let's just say I'm not surprised at the usuals complaining in this thread. I thought it was good fun, although it definitely drug a little the second time around. Still, dlp let me see the fights much more clearly so that was worth it.

As far as the glasses and the map, that's the sorest subject to me, and no, activating Megatrons 'navigational' system doesn't really cover that plot hole for me. As far as why Prime couldn't use the eBay page though, I'd say it's cause he couldn't 'shoot his layzor' at a screen and make the holographic map appear.

Quote

Similarly, how did they move the allspark at all? Why did Sector 7 decide to build their top secret super base in a famous tourist destination?

These questions haven't been addressed, so I'll do so. The didn't move the All Spark. They built the dam around the All Spark where it was. Which answers your second question. The real question is, if the Hoover Dam is such an important location, why turn it into a famous tourist destination? Unless making it a military base would seem too obvious. The marine asks if there is a weapons room in the dam, you'd think there would be a whole arsenal there.

Still, if you can't enjoy Blackout destroying a military base like a real life mech, I don't know what to tell you.

ferrarimanf355 · « **Reply #91 on:** July 08, 2007, 01:11:08 PM »

I'm so buying this.

http://www.radioshack.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2776071
And they also have Barricade!

http://www.radioshack.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2776070

brawndolicious · « **Reply #92 on:** July 08, 2007, 02:15:14 PM »

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/news/comments/?entryid=432709

Quote

Michael Bay has returned to the sounding board with his latest blog entry, this time in response to media suggestions that "Transformers" producers Tom DeSanto and Don Murphy had more than a little bit of influence on the massive [financial] success that is "Transformers."

So naturally, while on press rounds to promote "Transformers," Bay felt the need to obliterate the mere suggestion that Tom DeSanto and Don Murphy deserve credit for the film's success. Here's his full three paragraphs on the subject, thanks to some quick-thinking archiving by Deadline Hollywood Daily's Nikki Finke (the blog post has since been removed):

"Tom had one creative meeting with me for one hour and ten minutes to be exact about a year ago. He told he was the über fan boy and was going to protect me from the minefields. The type of minefields on the Net like 'Damn you Michael Bay' 'You wrecked my childhood Michael Bay' and other various web death threats I received. Tom proceeded to tell me how much he had problems with the robot designs and script issues. I realized he was worlds apart in my vision. I said thank you very much, and then showed him my office door - I never really spoke to him again other then to mutter hello. He would occasionally come to the set with guests like it was some theme park. I never spoke creatively with Don. I read his notes kind of trashing the script and making me and the writers feel like a big shit pile. But during production Don was nice to me, he knew I was not going to talk creative with him.

One day not too long ago, the writers of our movie Alex and Bob called me in a panic saying all of a sudden after the movie was almost finished in post that Tom was applying for writer's or story credit. I was appalled because neither the writer's nor I ever saw any treatment. Well, he applied for credit, but the Writer's Guild shot him down, denied him.

But what made my blood curl was something that was on the Net with Tom at the Saturn awards on IESB.net where they interviewed him about the movie - a movie I might add he had not seen yet. He acted very much like he did. Check it out as he vamps through the questions, and how Hugo put his 'thumb print on it'. Give me a break, the guy was lying through his teeth - he had seen nada, nothing, until the press screening."

apparently he purposely destroyed any potential it had to be a good transformers movie.

Lemurs: The Sequel · « **Reply #93 on:** July 08, 2007, 02:44:47 PM »

It's like I just stepped into the break room at a Hollywood diner.

Himu · « **Reply #94 on:** July 08, 2007, 03:55:16 PM »

What's with the emphasis on the humans instead of the autobots

bud · « **Reply #95 on:** July 08, 2007, 03:55:44 PM »

Quote from: Willco on July 08, 2007, 02:55:42 PM

What, True Lies isn't that great. I like the rest of Cameron's filmography, with the exception of Titanic, but if you're asking me which I enjoyed more - the Bay-helmed popcorn flick about giant transforming robots or the decent action flick with weird pacing/tone/structure issues, I pick ROBOTS.

Not really. I like them both about the same, though.

Himu · « **Reply #96 on:** July 08, 2007, 03:57:54 PM »

Quote from: Bloodwake on July 07, 2007, 11:58:20 PM

Obviously you guys haven't seen the tripe that is Ghost Rider.

Or Van Helsing for that matter.

Ghost Rider ruled.

MrAngryFace · « **Reply #97 on:** July 08, 2007, 04:13:20 PM »

Solo: Your taste in movies = bad.

bud · « **Reply #98 on:** July 08, 2007, 04:30:45 PM »

Quote from: bud on July 08, 2007, 03:55:44 PM

Quote from: Willco on July 08, 2007, 02:55:42 PM
What, True Lies isn't that great. I like the rest of Cameron's filmography, with the exception of Titanic, but if you're asking me which I enjoyed more - the Bay-helmed popcorn flick about giant transforming robots or the decent action flick with weird pacing/tone/structure issues, I pick ROBOTS.

Not really. I like them both about the same, though.

Mandark · « **Reply #99 on:** July 08, 2007, 04:39:34 PM »

Quote from: Himuro on July 08, 2007, 03:55:16 PM

What's with the emphasis on the humans instead of the autobots

They decided to make an ensemble disaster movie like Day After Tomorrow or ID4, then tack on a big robot fight at the end.

If you're going to have a big fight to the death between robots, then establish the robots as characters, or at least as formidable fighting machines, rather than comic relief and exposition factories. Any decent action movie builds up stuff for the last fight.

Spider-Man has skirmishes with the Green Goblin and Dr. Octopus. The T-800 and T-1000 beat up on each other and on third parties. The shark in Jaws kills civilians and takes three barrels under the boat. Hector kills Ajax and Achilles kills everyone. The predator kills one future governor before fighting the other. Every Bond villain gets some bodies under his or her belt. The uruk-hai in FOTR is shown repeatedly, and gets to kill Boromir. Etc.

The movie didn't really have to be well-written for it to do a better job than it did. Just follow some of the basic rules.

Himu · « **Reply #100 on:** July 08, 2007, 05:00:26 PM »

Quote from: Mandark on July 08, 2007, 04:39:34 PM

Spider-Man has skirmishes with the Green Goblin and Dr. Octopus. The T-800 and T-1000 beat up on each other and on third parties. The shark in Jaws kills civilians and takes three barrels under the boat. Hector kills Ajax and Achilles kills everyone. The predator kills one future governor before fighting the other. Every Bond villain gets some bodies under his or her belt. The uruk-hai in FOTR is shown repeatedly, and gets to kill Boromir. Etc.

The movie didn't really have to be well-written for it to do a better job than it did. Just follow some of the basic rules.

Basically.

News:

Author Topic: Shocking: Wow, Transformers was an abysmal movie (Read 12303 times)