Don't worry about global warming.
The temperature's not going up. And if it is, it's because of solar flares or cosmic rays. But it's not, cause there's this glacier that's not completely melting. Or maybe it is, which is good because then Greenland can grow crops! Michael Crichton says so!
The point is, it's all a giant conspiracy to scare people into giving billions of dollars to scientists, and the entire profession of climatology is in on the scam.
Isn't that a simpler, more plausible explanation?