Author Topic: WTF Harry Knowles got married? (Read 3729 times)

The Fake Shemp · « **on:** July 16, 2007, 04:39:21 AM »

Quote from: AICN

Hey folks, Harry here... It's my wedding day. This isn't so much about film, as much as it is all about my love of film and the life it portrays that we all love so much. Today, I'm attempting to give a storybook wedding to my favorite person in the world. It could rain, in which case it'll feel like a Woody Allen type of thing... If the sun shines, it's a GODFATHER type of thing.

The last few days have been a whirlwind. Feels most like a Butt-Numb-A-Thon - except, instead of the question being, "Everything going good with BNAT?" it is, "Getting nervous yet?" In truth, I get far more nervous before a BNAT. There's a lot more to coordinate... and in the end, I'm not always 100% whether the movies will be great, as sometimes - we're the first people to see em. Here, I know the food will blow peoples' minds, that the entertainment I have lined up will be a blast... and that the decorations and atmosphere are perfect - whether it rains or shines.

I am a little concerned about what Eli Roth and Richard Kelly did to the Bachelorette Party last night... and how did they crash that thing?

My party had Quint getting banged by strippers in a back room, Capone's 3 inches inside an anus, Scorekeeper with Ahi Tuna on his forehead after popping, Roro as a lumbering Karloffian character. Me... well it took 3 strippers to cover my entire body with stripper musk and glitter, but twas one for the books. Ran till 6am and the aftermath would have made Tom Hanks proud.

Just put the final touch on the cake toppers - which are actually 1960s Gilbert Goldfinger (for me) and Pussy Galore (for her/albeit with black hair) figures. Oddly, they work real good.

Well.... it's time to get ready - it's about 5 hours til the ceremony. I've got a complicated outfit to get into, fighting fish and longhorns to deliver. And the candles, champagne flutes and ... um... oh yeah - the wedding certificate thingee. Oh - and an iPod cord.

See you good folks on the otherside of this matrimonial affair... btw - trivia - last film I watched before the wedding was... 300 - the new HD DVD just fucking owns!

Anyone have a picture of the lucky bride to be?

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #1 on:** July 16, 2007, 04:43:10 AM »

Only picture I could find. It's from his MySpace. Also worth noting, Harry Knowles is 35-years-old and she is just a mere 20-years-old. I wonder which one will come first - the divorce or the cardiac arrest?

ToxicAdam · « **Reply #2 on:** July 16, 2007, 04:59:51 AM »

Imagine that head on a 185lb body.

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #3 on:** July 16, 2007, 07:25:32 AM »

I love that he's more nervous for his all day film festival than his wedding. What a tool.

Shuri · « **Reply #4 on:** July 16, 2007, 07:28:26 AM »

she's pretty cute, props to him

demi · « **Reply #5 on:** July 16, 2007, 01:46:30 PM »

Quote from: Shuri on July 16, 2007, 07:28:26 AM

she's pretty cute, props to him

lol

GilloD · « **Reply #6 on:** July 16, 2007, 02:08:39 PM »

You know she's totally excited to be married to an INTERNET SUPERSTAR and that it's only 6 weeks until the sponge bath and 4 PM curfew drive her insane.

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #7 on:** July 16, 2007, 06:47:22 PM »

Before I opened up this thread I told myself, "I bet she's Asian".

East Asian women have low standards when it comes to white horse meat.

demi · « **Reply #8 on:** July 16, 2007, 06:57:27 PM »

You think he shaves? I bet he's got quite the firecr0tch going on.

bagofeyes · « **Reply #9 on:** July 16, 2007, 09:03:35 PM »

How embarrassing. For us.

Coop · « **Reply #10 on:** July 16, 2007, 10:37:56 PM »

She looks like somebody that goes to my school

Then again, I think all Chinese people look like.

or Japanese, Korean, whatever the fuck she is

ferrarimanf355 · « **Reply #11 on:** July 17, 2007, 12:01:16 AM »

The mairrage won't last long. I bet Harry's going to eat her wife whole.

TVC15 · « **Reply #12 on:** July 17, 2007, 12:10:55 AM »

Quote from: ferrarimanf355 on July 17, 2007, 12:01:16 AM

The mairrage won't last long. I bet Harry's going to eat her wife whole.

Judging by your freaky appetites exhibited on Guro chan, you probably like imagining their gross fatty sex. You probably want to watch.

ferrarimanf355 · « **Reply #13 on:** July 17, 2007, 12:13:11 AM »

Quote from: TVC 15 on July 17, 2007, 12:10:55 AM

Quote from: ferrarimanf355 on July 17, 2007, 12:01:16 AM
The mairrage won't last long. I bet Harry's going to eat her wife whole.

Judging by your freaky appetites exhibited on Guro chan, you probably like imagining their gross fatty sex. You probably want to watch.

Dude, I was only on Gurochan to get a lead towards downloading Mai-Chan's Daily Life. They banned me from posting shortly thereafter, I don't know why...

TVC15 · « **Reply #14 on:** July 17, 2007, 12:14:26 AM »

Holy shit, you out-freaked the freaks!

ferrarimanf355 · « **Reply #15 on:** July 17, 2007, 12:16:02 AM »

Quote from: TVC 15 on July 17, 2007, 12:14:26 AM

Holy shit, you out-freaked the freaks!

That's because I'd start talking about NASCAR every once in a while...

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Psst... you wrecked this thread.

[close]

aoi tsuki · « **Reply #16 on:** July 17, 2007, 12:16:46 AM »

Quote from: demi on July 16, 2007, 06:57:27 PM

You think he shaves? I bet he's got quite the firecr0tch going on.

Good luck findin' 'is lucky charms under those rolls of fat.

ferrarimanf355 · « **Reply #17 on:** July 17, 2007, 12:19:36 AM »

Quote from: aoi tsuki on July 17, 2007, 12:16:46 AM

Quote from: demi on July 16, 2007, 06:57:27 PM
You think he shaves? I bet he's got quite the firecr0tch going on.
Good luck findin' 'is lucky charms under those rolls of fat.

muckson · « **Reply #18 on:** July 17, 2007, 12:26:07 AM »

that guy clearly drugged that poor phillipino girl.

did you see his head? it's got fucking moons orbitting around it.

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #19 on:** July 17, 2007, 12:46:12 AM »

Knowles is confined to a wheelchair, right?

That should be fun.

Shuri · « **Reply #20 on:** July 17, 2007, 01:09:00 AM »

There was guy at GAF back in the days that actually worked at the theater where Harry Knowles hangs out, and he says that the guy was really, REALLY, REALLY strange back then. He would come in and sit in the lobby hours before the movies would start, and he would just sit there, waiting, not talking to anyone.

It's kind of sad, really

ferrarimanf355 · « **Reply #21 on:** July 17, 2007, 01:29:45 AM »

Quote from: Shuri on July 17, 2007, 01:09:00 AM

There was guy at GAF back in the days that actually worked at the theater where Harry Knowles hangs out, and he says that the guy was really, REALLY, REALLY strange back then. He would come in and sit in the lobby hours before the movies would start, and he would just sit there, waiting, not talking to anyone.

It's kind of sad, really

I didn't think the guy had a life to begin with.

muckson · « **Reply #22 on:** July 17, 2007, 03:26:53 AM »

yes, it is sad when people have no friends and are alone but there is nothing you can do about it if you don't go talk to them.

but he's married now and very happy so it's perfectly ok to make fun of his enormous head. christ! look at that thing!

The Sceneman · « **Reply #23 on:** July 17, 2007, 03:34:45 AM »

OMG she is really fucken hot. Looks like a babe I porked once

muckson · « **Reply #24 on:** July 17, 2007, 03:39:25 AM »

if you're from california i think we may have touched penises by proxy.

Ichirou · « **Reply #25 on:** July 17, 2007, 04:09:59 AM »

Was I the only one who was bugged by the fact that he called Auric Goldfinger, Gilbert Goldfinger? What a silly mistake!

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #26 on:** July 17, 2007, 04:29:31 AM »

Yeah, Harry is pretty much confined to a wheelchair nowadays due to his weight and ankle/feet problems.

Ichirou · « **Reply #27 on:** July 17, 2007, 04:34:45 AM »

Quote from: Willco on July 17, 2007, 04:29:31 AM

Yeah, Harry is pretty much confined to a wheelchair nowadays due to his weight and ankle/feet problems.

He should get one of those watchamacallit operations like the one Star Jones got. Sew up his stomach so he can't eat.

muckson · « **Reply #28 on:** July 17, 2007, 05:15:33 AM »

if a dog got that overweight and had that many health problems you'd put it to sleep.

consider this.

cubicle47b · « **Reply #29 on:** July 17, 2007, 10:50:58 AM »

Quote

if a dog got that overweight and had that many health problems you'd put it to sleep.

consider this.

I'm looking forward to hearing your ideas on old and homeless people.

MrAngryFace · « **Reply #30 on:** July 17, 2007, 10:55:09 AM »

The age factor is kinda icky, and anyone at the age of 20 will probably make a few emotional U-Turns still before 25. One days she'll just wake up and say WTF

Shuri · « **Reply #31 on:** July 18, 2007, 07:19:13 AM »

I don't understand why americans marry so young.

News:

Author Topic: WTF Harry Knowles got married? (Read 3729 times)