Author Topic: Phoenix Dark's Hypothetical Conversations - Episode #1 (Read 4181 times)

Phoenix Dark · « **on:** September 24, 2006, 11:09:03 PM »

After church today (don't ask) me and my family went out to dinner at a Chinese all you can eat buffet - The Dynasty Buffet. I absolutely love Chinese food, so I had a blast. But I noticed our waiter didn't seem to understand English. She could understand and say some rather basic things though, like "more Coke?" or "Finish?" I didn't realize this at first, so I thought she was being rude to me.

Waitress: More water?
Phoenix: Actually, I think I've had to much to drink. Do you guys have any extra napkins by any chance?
Waitress: ...Coke?

After about 3-4 incidents of this behavior, I just had to play around. The entire conversations reminded me of the merchant in RE4, so I...

Waitress: Finish?
Phoenix: What are you selling?
Waitress: ...plate?
Phoenix: Ahhh, I'll buy it at a high price
Waitress: *takes my plate*

I couldn't help it. I gave her a big tip ($9) at the end though for putting up with me. Has anyone else had a similar experience at a restaurant where many foreigners work?

Polari · « **Reply #1 on:** September 24, 2006, 11:24:08 PM »

The lady at my local Chinese restaurant actually does the "and den..." thing from Dude Where's My Car. I'm pretty much always ripped when I order from there and it always destroys me, especially hard if I'm just ordering sundaes for delivery.

MrAngryFace · « **Reply #2 on:** September 24, 2006, 11:31:54 PM »

What the FUCK is wrong with you, Dark?

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #3 on:** September 24, 2006, 11:35:49 PM »

Quote from: MrAngryFace on September 24, 2006, 11:31:54 PM

What the FUCK is wrong with you, Dark?

What? You've never had a similar incident?

Ecrofirt · « **Reply #4 on:** September 24, 2006, 11:42:13 PM »

You do know that most workers in CHinese resturants are illegal immigrants, don't you?

They come over illegally on boats, and then work for a few years in resturants to pay off the cost to smuggle them over.

Christopher · « **Reply #5 on:** September 24, 2006, 11:48:04 PM »

The lady at mine when you order in a very fierce tone says "WHAT ELSE" after you say something, it's like bitch shut up.

Can I have the lunch special?
WHAT ELSE
...some of those dry noodles
WHAT ELSE
NOTHING ELSE BITCH

Ecrofirt · « **Reply #6 on:** September 24, 2006, 11:52:37 PM »

Quote from: Christopher on September 24, 2006, 11:48:04 PM

The lady at mine when you order in a very fierce tone says "WHAT ELSE" after you say something, it's like bitch shut up.

Can I have the lunch special?
WHAT ELSE
...some of those dry noodles
WHAT ELSE
NOTHING ELSE BITCH

AND THEN?!

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #7 on:** September 24, 2006, 11:56:09 PM »

Quote from: Ecrofirt on September 24, 2006, 11:42:13 PM

You do know that most workers in CHinese resturants are illegal immigrants, don't you?

They come over illegally on boats, and then work for a few years in resturants to pay off the cost to smuggle them over.

Reminds me of pornos I've seen. That would be pretty cool if you could just...for $30...

Catz · « **Reply #8 on:** September 24, 2006, 11:56:55 PM »

Quote from: Christopher on September 24, 2006, 11:48:04 PM

The lady at mine when you order in a very fierce tone says "WHAT ELSE" after you say something, it's like bitch shut up.

Can I have the lunch special?
WHAT ELSE
...some of those dry noodles
WHAT ELSE
NOTHING ELSE BITCH

Ordering over the phone for Chinese take out here is always amusing, especially when I have to tell her a debit card number to pay. We try to make sure to have cash on hand instead now.

Shuri · « **Reply #9 on:** September 25, 2006, 05:54:49 AM »

Church with your family? but didnt you move really far away from them for college?

CrystalGemini · « **Reply #10 on:** September 25, 2006, 06:55:03 AM »

Most Chinese people automatically assume I don't know Chinese anyway (since I'm an ABC - American Born Chinese), so I do like to screw with them a bit. I just pretend like I can't understand what they're asking me, even going as far as letting a white/black/hispanic coworker translate for me, before getting what they want. Then my family will walk in and I'll start speaking Cantonese to them.

Cheebs · « **Reply #11 on:** September 25, 2006, 08:36:38 AM »

Who changed the title?

Diablos · « **Reply #12 on:** September 25, 2006, 09:10:24 AM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on September 24, 2006, 11:09:03 PM

Waitress: Finish?
Phoenix: What are you selling?
Waitress: ...plate?
Phoenix: Ahhh, I'll buy it at a high price
Waitress: *takes my plate*

The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment · « **Reply #13 on:** September 25, 2006, 09:30:18 AM »

Quote from: Diablos on September 25, 2006, 09:10:24 AM

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on September 24, 2006, 11:09:03 PM
Waitress: Finish?
Phoenix: What are you selling?
Waitress: ...plate?
Phoenix: Ahhh, I'll buy it at a high price
Waitress: *takes my plate*

Cheebs · « **Reply #14 on:** September 25, 2006, 11:48:47 AM »

You guys know there is no way in hell he would say that.

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #15 on:** September 25, 2006, 12:00:43 PM »

Deleted by user

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #16 on:** September 25, 2006, 12:30:52 PM »

Quote from: Cheebs on September 25, 2006, 11:48:47 AM

You guys know there is no way in hell he would say that.

Cheebs wanna hang out?

Cheebs · « **Reply #17 on:** September 25, 2006, 09:45:04 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on September 25, 2006, 12:30:52 PM

Quote from: Cheebs on September 25, 2006, 11:48:47 AM
You guys know there is no way in hell he would say that.

Cheebs wanna hang out?

One day perhaps.

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #18 on:** September 25, 2006, 10:05:33 PM »

Waitress: "what would like to order sir"
Drinky: "ahhhh...CHING CHONG BING BONG SHENG FENG SHUI FU HAIIIIIII!!!!!"
Waitress: "oh my word, you so clazy!"

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA get it CHINESE PEOPLE CAN'T SPEAK ENGLISH WELL AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THAT'S SO AWESOME

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #19 on:** September 25, 2006, 10:08:57 PM »

Quote from: Cheebs on September 25, 2006, 09:45:04 PM

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on September 25, 2006, 12:30:52 PM
Quote from: Cheebs on September 25, 2006, 11:48:47 AM
You guys know there is no way in hell he would say that.

Cheebs wanna hang out?
One day perhaps.

Friday? Saturday?

The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment · « **Reply #20 on:** September 26, 2006, 07:41:01 AM »

Quote from: Drinky Crow on September 25, 2006, 10:05:33 PM

Waitress: "what would like to order sir"
Drinky: "ahhhh...CHING CHONG BING BONG SHENG FENG SHUI FU HAIIIIIII!!!!!"
Waitress: "oh my word, you so clazy!"

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA get it CHINESE PEOPLE CAN'T SPEAK ENGLISH WELL AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THAT'S SO AWESOME

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Author Topic: Phoenix Dark's Hypothetical Conversations - Episode #1 (Read 4181 times)

Diablos