Lolz, SLATE hates Zach Braff and so do I!

[MrAngryFace]

http://www.slate.com/id/2150245/?GT1=8592

If Garden State is to be believed, they spend their days squinting and staring wistfully while slowly learning that it's OK to feel and, like, live. When they do speak, yearbook quotes come out. For example: "Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place." In The Last Kiss, Braff furrows his brow solemnly and ponders a question that's paralyzed millions: Should I replace my incredibly hot girlfriend with an incredibly hot college student? This time, OC starlet Rachel Bilson gets the Ferris Bueller-esque pearl of wisdom: "The world is moving so fast now that we start freaking out way before our parents did because we don't ever stop to breathe anymore." Never has the voice of a generation had so little of substance to say.

Braff's doofy looks also help him seem accessible. His face doesn't have the clean, angular lines that usually denote manly movie stardom. He's more like a Claymation version of a matinee idol, with pinchable cheeks and permanently raised eyebrows. His dorky visage and mannerisms work marvelously on Scrubs. We root for Braff's character, the perpetually confused Dr. John "J.D." Dorian, because he's such a good sport about always being the butt of the joke. Braff makes a great doormat—he can pull off both a quizzical reaction shot and a pratfall into a gigantic puddle.

If Garden State is any indication, Braff's weaknesses as a director go beyond narcissism. In the film, he piles on quirky details—a disembodied red gas pump hanging from a car, a guy in a suit of armor, a framed diploma on the ceiling—to keep viewers from scrutinizing his shallow characters and clichéd cultural observations. This is the kind of movie the Zuckers would have made if they used gags in the service of drama rather than screwball comedy. Braff also uses pop songs as a cheat, an easy way to heighten the emotional impact of otherwise unremarkable moments. The music in Garden State is so load-bearing that the movie becomes ridiculous if you swap in different tunes—if you don't believe me, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRH4gG5LmZ0

lolz.

[The Fake Shemp]

Garden State lolz

[Van Cruncheon]

Zach Braff is an easy target, but he's so much fun to beat up nonetheless.

[The Fake Shemp]

Seriously, though, I really can't tell the difference between Garden State and The Last Kiss by looking at the trailers.  If Braff is the voice of a generation, then nuke the fucking planet already.  Next gen is a bunch of apathetic, emo brats whose emotional struggles take precedent over the rest of the world?

[Eel O'Brian]

Braff is a tard, but Scrubs rules.

[Bacon]

Garden State was so bad that after watching it I didn't even feel like fucking Natalie Portman.

[The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment]

Garden State was so bad that after watching it I didn't even feel like fucking Natalie Portman.

 


 

[rodi]

Garden State was so bad that after watching it I didn't even feel like fucking Natalie Portman.

WHAT...









...why? 

[Bacon]

Cause it was that bad.

Then I popped in Closer and was aroused once again, and all was right with the world. 

[Phoenix Dark]

His nose is so big and ugly lolz

[Polari]

Let's not forget that Paul Haggis wrote and directed "The Last Kiss", so instead of being just weepy coming-of-age bullshit it will be weepy coming-of-age bullshit with lame, painstakingly obvious societal overtones.

[The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment]

Let's not forget that Paul Haggis wrote and directed "The Last Kiss", so instead of being just weepy coming-of-age bullshit it will be weepy coming-of-age bullshit with lame, painstakingly obvious societal overtones.

How true.