Crazy stuff an EB/GS/videogame retailer clerk has told you.

[Synbios459]

Now, we've heard some pretty crazy stuff so share.

About a month ago I was talking to a clerk at an Gamestop about how I wish that Square would've put FF 1&2 on one UMD disc instead of separating them, at which point he told me that with the cut scenes there would be no way it could fit.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

Clerk: "The new games suck, Final Fantasy was better on the Genesis."
Me: "...It never came out for the Genesis."
Clerk: "It did in Japan, man. *sigh*"

[Himu]

[Error2k4]

GS clerk: Shin Mega...Mother of who?

[TakingBackSunday]

Clerk: Do you want that Samus cutout?
Me:  Not really, no.
Clerk: Haha, good, I'm sorta hoping I can have it myself.  After playing Metroid Prime Hunters, I want to bow to it every night.

I'm not fucking joking.

[MrAngryFace]

"bow" must be gamestoreclerkspeak for "masturbate"

[Smooth Groove]

"Would you like to pay a pre-order for Lair?"   

[bork]

I've forgotten a lot of the dumb shit I got at retailers since it's been too long, but I can remember the opposite-- distinguished mentally-challenged fellow comments from when I worked at a game store.  Morons are on both sides of the counter.  I can briefly recall a dumb fanboy argument I had with an EB clerk about the Playstation 2 in 2000-- I told him I was going to E3 that same week, he tells me he doesn't need to go since he got to see everything already at the EB private show (lolz), and that the PS2 is going to destroy everything else blah blah.  So I drop the bomb shell on him: I already have a PS2; I got an import model a month earlier.  I'm not impressed.  Then he tells me that the Japanese model is inferior to the American model, which will be far better.  "I seen it, I knows!"

From my old job:

***

Customer: Do you have Capcom versus SINK?
Me:  (to another guy) Hey, do we have Capcom versus S-N-K? 
Customer: Yeah man, that Capcom versus SINK!

Some other fun mispronunciations were "Taken 2" and "Tah-Kahn 2"

***
(on the phone)

Customer: Do you have Area 51 for the Dreamcast?
Me: Area 51 for the Dreamc-- Sorry sir, they didn't make that game for the Dreamcast.
Customer: Yes they did, I saw it!
Me: Uh, no sir...that's a fairly old game and it came out for the Sony Playstation and the Sega Saturn.  Maybe that's what you meant?
Customer: Can you tell me what light gun games are on the Dreamcast?
Me: Well, there's...(I start checking and can't quite remember everything) House Of The Dead 2, Virtua Cop 2, Death Crimson OX, and...and...
Customer: AREA 51!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111    *hangs up*

***

(sometime in 2001...I may have this a little mixed up, but you get the idea)

Customer: Can you tell me the name of that new game system from Microsoft?
Me: Oh, that's the Xbox.
Customer: No, that's not it.  It's "the Cube" or something.
Me: You mean the Game Cube?
Customer: Yeah.
Me: That's from Nintendo.
Customer: No, that's not it then. 
Me: So you mean the Microsoft XBox.
Customer: No, it's a cube.
Me: Uh...there's the Sony Playstation 2, the Sega Dreamcast, the Nintendo Game Cube, and the Microsoft Xbox.  Those are all the new systems.
Customer: No, that's not it.  I'll have to go somewhere else.
Me: 

[Mana Knight]

Lol, that kind of reminds me of when I walked into GS once, and heard one ask what's Nintendo's new console coming out (this was back in 2001).  The employee said Gamecube.  The guy then asks what's that other console coming out, and he says Xbox.  Then the guy asks the employee, so when is X-Cube coming out. 

There's this one guy at my local EB who's completely fanboyish (wears a Gamecube T-shirt a lot).  One customer wanted to buy a PS2, and he told them there are no more PS2 games coming out, and he better not get one. 

[brawndolicious]

There's this one guy at my local EB who's completely fanboyish (wears a Gamecube T-shirt a lot).  One customer wanted to buy a PS2, and he told them there are no more PS2 games coming out, and he better not get one. 

umm...

[Beezy]

"Would you like to pay a pre-order for Lair?"   

[Van Cruncheon]

i was accosted by some distinguished mentally-challenged dude in his mid-30s at gamestop who really, REALLY wanted to discuss the ds with me. he was so creepy maf and tvc immediately abandoned me to his vagaries. he wanted to know if i had a ds and if i loved the ds and did i own final fantasy and was the "hotel" game any good and omg i feared for my life/rectum.

[Himu]

i was accosted by some distinguished mentally-challenged dude in his mid-30s at gamestop who really, REALLY wanted to discuss the ds with me. he was so creepy maf and tvc immediately abandoned me to his vagaries. he wanted to know if i had a ds and if i loved the ds and did i own final fantasy and was the "hotel" game any good and omg i feared for my life/rectum.

[Van Cruncheon]

seriously. he looked kinda normal -- well, normal for bellevue, wa, with his videogame t-shirt covering his protruding gut and khaki shorts and his sorely receding hairline -- and he really enunciated his words, like almost too much, and likewise yelled them instead of just saying them with the sort of casual slur most folks adopt. tvc and maf backed away from the pc section and crouched over by the ps3 in the opposite corner, while i feigned interest in the ds catalog and answered him in a noncomittal tone. yes i own a ds. well, it's alright, it has some good games. no, i do not own final fantasy. why? because it was kinda boring. hotel game? you mean simcity 2000? uh, i have no idea. pull down my pants? oh, i hardly knowARGHLEAUUUUGHHOHJESUSMYASSHOLEMYASSHOLEITHURTSPLEASESTOP

[bork]

Drinky, man...why do you even bother saying you own one?  If you feel that guilty about it and want to be nice, just say you're looking for games for your kid.

 
There's this one guy at my local EB who's completely fanboyish (wears a Gamecube T-shirt a lot).  One customer wanted to buy a PS2, and he told them there are no more PS2 games coming out, and he better not get one. 

This guy doesn't actually work in the store, does he?  That's the kind of "customer" I'd tell to stop harassing the customers or get the fuck out of the store if I worked there.  Don't those EB employees want to make money?  I hope I never have to return to retail.

That reminds of why Japanese game stores are so fucking awesome: None of this shit happens.  NONE OF IT.  The clerks don't harass you to sign up for some magazine subscription or buy game cleaners.  They leave you alone unless you ask them for help.  If you want a discount, you ask for a point card...a FREE point card.  And there's no distinguished mentally-challenged fellows roaming around in Game Cube shirts trying to sell people on their own fanboy ways from their grease-dripping mouths.  (There are still disgusting and smelly [presumably] fanboys walking around, but the difference is that they shut the fuck up and don't bother anyone)  That's one part of the culture here I do wish would be emulated by more nerds.

[brawndolicious]

I'm saying the guy kind of had a point if he suggested to buy a PS3 instead.  or at least he wouldn't be saying to buy a gamecube or something.

[Phoenix Dark]

THE DAY AFTER STARCRAFT II WAS ANNOUNCED:

Clerk: Ah, StarCraft? People have been buying this alot today
Me: I can imagine
Clerk #1: I heard World of StarCraft was just annouced
Clerk #2: Ah will I have to pay?
Clerk #1: Dude it'll only be like $10 a month
Clerk #2: Waaht? That's badass

[bork]

4-5 years ago:

distinguished mentally-challenged 11 year old kid: Do you have any Dragonball AF tapes?
Me: What?
Kid: Dragonball AF.
Me: There's no such thing.  GT is it.
Kid: No, there's Dragonball AF too!  GOKU GOES SUPER SAIYAN LEVEL 14!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: Uh-huh.
Kid: NO I SAW IT ON THE INTERNET ITS REAL
Me: So if you saw it on the internet, it must be for real, right?
Kid: I SAW A PICTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  U R WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  HERE'S THE URL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111
Me: (We look at the URL behind the counter) Dude, these are just some fan drawings.
Co-Worker: That looks so awful...you thought this was for real? 

He runs off almost in tears and we all have a good laugh cuz the kid is a big dork.  This started getting more and more frequent for a period of time.  Apparently some people made some fanfiction or some crap and gullible kids thought it was for real.  I even had the guy who brought us merchandise (plus bootleg DBZ fansubs) ask me if it was for real and where he could find it.

[Bloodwake]

I clear up all misinformation in my store. Even though I'm a GA, people go to me for the info.

I correct my store manager and my ASM all the time. They know I'm right too, because I can back it up with websites.

Most of the distinguished mentally-challenged shit comes from the customers. Example:

One of the most hick families of all time entered the store just as I was starting my shift. First of all, the kids (there were two of them, and they both looked like they had down's syndrome, but they didn't, they were just distinguished mentally-challenged fucking rednecks) asked my ASM if Pokemon was on the PS2 at least 8000000000 times, to which my ASM had to take his lunch early. To prove genetics right, the parents soon came up to the register:

Parent 1: Yeah, we'd like one of them thar memrey chips.
Me: You mean a memory card
Parent 2: Yeah, a memry chip. Give us two of them thar memry chips.
Me: Okay, let me fetch you a memory card. Hey, Mik (my SGA), get me a couple of memory cards out of the case please.

This dialogue, surprisingly, continued, proving there is no hope for this piece of shit dumbass state.

Parent 1: How many of them thar memry chips do we need for a game? I bet we need four or five of them.
Me: No, you just need one for most games on the PS2.
Parent 2: Hey, what are they called? Memry cards or Memry chips?
Parent 1: Their memry cards, that kid ringing us up don't know what the hell he's talkin about
Me: *thinks* who the fuck let these dumbasses breed jesus christ

I just got them out of the store as quickly as possible.

[Mana Knight]

I'm saying the guy kind of had a point if he suggested to buy a PS3 instead.  or at least he wouldn't be saying to buy a gamecube or something.

No, that guy just hates Sony, and even admitted to me once.  He was told buy his boss to turn on the PS3, and he flat out said no, I want to crush it with a sledgehammer.  If anyone is buying any Sony platform (PS2, PS3, or PSP), he'll try anyway he can to discourage them, pushing any Nintendo platform (even GC). 

That reminds me, one of my Gamestop stores is very pushy.  Here's what happened.

One guy wanted to buy a brand new 360 game.  The employee told a family to not buy the game, because the used was cheaper.  They didn't care, they still rather buy new.  Next thing the employee says is, new games only have a 7 day warranty, while used games have a longer warranty, so that's why you buy used, along with saving more.  He's also like, if that new game stops working after 7 days, you're screwed.  So in the end, they bought used.

Another time, when Mom was buying her son a copy of Super Paper Mario.  He pushed the strategy guide on her.  He pushed the replacement plan on her.  Also, he pushed her to preorder Super Mario Strikers.  I mean, this wasn't a small push, but a big one. 

[AdmiralViscen]

Lol, that kind of reminds me of when I walked into GS once, and heard one ask what's Nintendo's new console coming out (this was back in 2001).  The employee said Gamecube.  The guy then asks what's that other console coming out, and he says Xbox.  Then the guy asks the employee, so when is X-Cube coming out. 

 

[MrAngryFace]

Drinky: Sorry man, I recognized his type the minute he opened his mouth. Every man for himself!

[The Fake Shemp]

Yeah, I must say the most distinguished mentally-challenged information I hear comes from customers in reality.  We've got three female employees, none of them are knowledgeable on videogames, so they're the worst offenders of misinformation simply because videogamers are like aliens to them.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

oh, I forgot about when I bought my DS Lite

the guy tried to get me to buy a protection plan, I said "no"
he told me that Nintendo would only fix hardware if it broke within the first 30 days
I said that Nintendo has a policy of fixing any hardware sent into them regardless of the length of the warranty
he said that the warranty was only 90 days (sic) so I needed the extended warranty
I said thanks, but I trusted my past experiences with Nintendo and didn't want the service plan
he pauses and then says all snooty, “Well, I’d better call Nintendo, then, because my original DS broke, and they wouldn’t fix it!"
all super snooty like and obviously lying
I tell him to stop making stuff up to try to sell an in-house service plan or I'll notify his manager, and to ring up my DS
he gets very very very mad

THE END

I love these threads

[Himu]

lol patel <3

[MrAngryFace]

I dont think its safe to recommend any course of action with service plans or service support from the manu. Four years at Staples and issues with Verizon taught me that the support you get from the manu depends largely on the person that picks up the phone on the other end.

[The Fake Shemp]

Nah, I wouldn't recommend an extended warranty for any Nintendo products.  Not only do they usually feature exceptional build quality, but for all its flaws, Nintendo's customer service is top notch and will do almost anything to accommodate the consumer.

The only PRP I actively push is for the Xbox 360 and that's just to spare me the pain of having to hear a disgruntled customer yell at me after it inevitably gets the red rings.

The good thing is that GameStop is moving away from ranking associates and stores solely on these numbers, and any other POS borderline-harassments to customer service.  That's good for everyone, I think.  That means Patel could theoretically blast that associate and/or store in a customer feedback survey and it'd hurt them in the rankings, instead of just them brushing him off as some schmuck who didn't buy a PRP.

[MrAngryFace]

I dunno, with so much doable online I find 'getting back' at loser associates a pretty small role in a very petty game. Plus there's a gajillion stores in the greater seattle area so I can just go to another lol

[Mana Knight]

Yeah, I must say the most distinguished mentally-challenged information I hear comes from customers in reality.  We've got three female employees, none of them are knowledgeable on videogames, so they're the worst offenders of misinformation simply because videogamers are like aliens to them.

I believe it about customers saying stupid stuff.  At one of my EB locations, I overheard the employees talking about a customer.  This guy comes in asking if they have Halo on PS2 in-stock.  The employees said Halo is a Microsoft game and can only be found on Xbox.  That customer started yelling, saying the employees were lying, because Halo certainly is on PS2.  He was going to look elsewhere and ebay, because he just knows they have Halo on PS2. 

[The Fake Shemp]

I dunno, with so much doable online I find 'getting back' at loser associates a pretty small role in a very petty game. Plus there's a gajillion stores in the greater seattle area so I can just go to another lol

It's not about getting back - it's about cleaning up.  If your local game stores are shit, let them know.  If they tank in the rankings, whomever is in charge won't be there for long.  You shouldn't have to inconvenience yourself and lose that instant gratification because some SM or ASM hired crap people and trained them incorrectly.

[tiesto]

Some other fun mispronunciations were "Taken 2" and "Tah-Kahn 2"

[Yeti]

I saw an eight year old trying to convince his father to buy him a copy of Punisher on Xbox, and saying that it wasn't violent at all. Luckily the clerk had played the game and was able to tell the father that the game had graphic scenes of torture in it.  The dad actually looked surprise that there was violence in it:lol

[The Fake Shemp]

Oh, I will one up you.

I had a lady purchase a brand spankin' new copy of Ghost Rider for the PS2 last Saturday.  She came in that night, after it had been opened and played, claiming she wanted another game.  Once a game is open, we don't take it.  Then she began a rant that she purchased it for her six-year-old child and was angered and upset to find out that it is full of violence and demonic things.

I repeat, she bought a game called GHOST RIDER that without even looking at the ESRB ratings, has a front cover of a SKELETON WHOSE SKULL IS ON FIRE GRASPING A CHAIN WHIP AND OTHER SINISTER LOOKING ACCOUTREMENTS WHILE RIDING A FLAMING BIKE only to be surprised by its violent and demonic content.

[bork]

Yeah, I must say the most distinguished mentally-challenged information I hear comes from customers in reality.  We've got three female employees, none of them are knowledgeable on videogames, so they're the worst offenders of misinformation simply because videogamers are like aliens to them.

Doesn't matter since female clerks can attract more customers at game stores.  There was this lady, who worked at the EB I lived right down the road from, that would constantly be hit on by a ton of guys.  It didn't phaze her, and she sold a lot of stuff because of it.   

I'm saying the guy kind of had a point if he suggested to buy a PS3 instead.  or at least he wouldn't be saying to buy a gamecube or something.

No, that guy just hates Sony, and even admitted to me once.  He was told buy his boss to turn on the PS3, and he flat out said no, I want to crush it with a sledgehammer.  If anyone is buying any Sony platform (PS2, PS3, or PSP), he'll try anyway he can to discourage them, pushing any Nintendo platform (even GC). 

So this N-Fanboy IS A STORE EMPLOYEE?!?!  What kind of idiot manager keeps someone on who attempts to stop people from buying merchandise?     You could probably get him fired if you just tell a store manager that you wanted to buy a Playstation game and he wouldn't sell it to you.   

That reminds me, one of my Gamestop stores is very pushy.  Here's what happened.

One guy wanted to buy a brand new 360 game.  The employee told a family to not buy the game, because the used was cheaper.  They didn't care, they still rather buy new.  Next thing the employee says is, new games only have a 7 day warranty, while used games have a longer warranty, so that's why you buy used, along with saving more.  He's also like, if that new game stops working after 7 days, you're screwed.  So in the end, they bought used.

Another time, when Mom was buying her son a copy of Super Paper Mario.  He pushed the strategy guide on her.  He pushed the replacement plan on her.  Also, he pushed her to preorder Super Mario Strikers.  I mean, this wasn't a small push, but a big one. 

Of course he did.  He's not only being told to do so by management, but I think you get bonuses if you can sell more of that junk to people.  Plus with used games, the store makes more money than they do with new ones, so they're always going to get you to try to buy used, and bring your stuff to them.

[Christopher]

I dunno no one ever has a "conversation" with me at these stores, I just get pestered for preorders a lot.

You guys must initiate these convos or something.

[Smooth Groove]

Lol, that kind of reminds me of when I walked into GS once, and heard one ask what's Nintendo's new console coming out (this was back in 2001).  The employee said Gamecube.  The guy then asks what's that other console coming out, and he says Xbox.  Then the guy asks the employee, so when is X-Cube coming out. 

There's this one guy at my local EB who's completely fanboyish (wears a Gamecube T-shirt a lot).  One customer wanted to buy a PS2, and he told them there are no more PS2 games coming out, and he better not get one. 

So did you report that store to Sony? 

[MrAngryFace]

lol cleaning up, its a videogames store

[The Fake Shemp]

lol cleaning up, its a videogames store

Again, why should you be inconvenienced by pushy salesmen and mediocre management when a quick three minute survey can make a significant change?

[brawndolicious]

it has used dvd's too!

I think they saw they were going to go out of business due to other electronics stores not really pushing as much so now they're actually trying to be BETTER then the others while still having their niche that pre-orders specific games.

[tiesto]

Yesterday when I was at Gamestop, some guy started talking to me about Odin Sphere just out of the blue, because I bought Summon Night: Swordcraft Story 2 on GBA... and another guy at another GS started talking to me about the Tales series when I picked up Abyss. I guess they hire all RPG fans at the gamestops around here. At least they don't try to talk to me about WWII games I don't give a shit about.

[Mana Knight]

Of course he did.  He's not only being told to do so by management, but I think you get bonuses if you can sell more of that junk to people.  Plus with used games, the store makes more money than they do with new ones, so they're always going to get you to try to buy used, and bring your stuff to them.

I figured, but I thought it was somewhat of a cruel way to push a used sale (so the publisher doesn't get credit, only EB/Gamestop does).  However, that was a game by a publisher I don't care for, so I don't care really.

Yesterday when I was at Gamestop, some guy started talking to me about Odin Sphere just out of the blue, because I bought Summon Night: Swordcraft Story 2 on GBA... and another guy at another GS started talking to me about the Tales series when I picked up Abyss. I guess they hire all RPG fans at the gamestops around here. At least they don't try to talk to me about WWII games I don't give a shit about.

Lucky, most people at my EB/Gamestop locations know nothing about RPGs.  I normally have to spell out an RPG for them, so they can find it for me.

[drohne]

'transformers is a b plus movie'