Fucking immigrant barbers!

[Oblivion]

I met possibly the most incompetent barber in the history of barbering. I go down to this local barber shop, and ask the lady there how much it costs for a haircut. The moment she opens her mouth I realize that this chick doesn't speak a fucking word of English. 'But that's okay' I thought to myself. Prepared for such a case, I provided her a picture of the type of haircut I wanted. I don't have a scanner, so I'll have to explain this by using pictures of other peoples hair cuts.

The picture I gave her was something like this.



I told her to leave my bangs alone, and just shave the sides like that. She says 'oh okay ya i tell you eveeting' or something to that effect, and commences with the procedure.  About a half hour of cutting later, she takes off the little cover that they wrap around and says 'okay how you like'. Here is what I look like:



I shit you not. I look at her and say "Do I look ANYTHING like the picture I showed you?!", and she has a shocked look on her face and says 'oh you no like?'. She didn't even pull out the fucking razor for god's sake. I've had this similar problem before with these type of barbers, but I've been willing to let those instances slide since at least they would have an excuse for not understanding what I wanted. Trying to get her to do it the way I wanted took 90 fucking minutes! And the best part? It still didn't look the way I wanted. Fucking hell. I'm going to go to supercuts next time and get a fucking english speaking barber for once. Price might be a bit steep, but if it'll help me avoid this frustration, I'll gladly take it. ARGHGHGALGHKGJKL

[Ichirou]

I never know what to do with my hair. 

[Madrun Badrun]

 

[demi]

LMAO!!!!

You actually give people photos!?

I usually just say "Number 3, swallowed up"

[BlackMage]

you got emo'd

[demi]

HUAHUAHUAHAUHAUHAUHAUHAHUAHUAHUAHUA

Wisp your hair over to the side, cigarillo

[BlackMage]

I never know what to do with my hair. 

buzz it. It's very liberating. Like that one time you sucked me off, and stole my semen to make a shake out of it.

[Ichirou]

You seem to be confusing me with your mom.  Bizarre.

[BlackMage]

You seem to be confusing me with your mom.  Bizarre.

dude eww..

[Ichirou]

[Oblivion]

LMAO!!!!

You actually give people photos!?

I usually just say "Number 3, swallowed up"

Your barbers speak English, though.

[Yeti]

What hairstyles do you guys get? I always get a #2 fade, because that is the only hairstyle I've ever had, and it is the only one I know.

[BlackMage]

What hairstyles do you guys get? I always get a #2 fade, because that is the only hairstyle I've ever had, and it is the only one I know.

during the summer: #6 all the way around
fall/winter/spring: Get trims but I usually just grow my hair out.

[demi]

What hairstyles do you guys get? I always get a #2 fade, because that is the only hairstyle I've ever had, and it is the only one I know.

I shave my bush all year long, baby

[Ichirou]

I dunno what hairstyle I get.  I just tell the barber to keep it short.

[Phoenix Dark]

I always tell my barber "I want it a bit low, but long enough to be dark and keep my waves. Taper the sides and fade the back, and keep the sideburns"


 

Sort of like that but my waves are actually noticeable, and the side burns are longer

[demi]

I always tell my barber "I want it a bit low, but long enough to be dark and keep my waves. Taper the sides and fade the back, and keep the sideburns"

(Image removed from quote.)
 

Sort of like that but my waves are actually noticeable, and the side burns are longer

[Ichirou]

HUAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUA

[Phoenix Dark]

 

[Oblivion]

Demi

[Yeti]

I woke up my dog I was laughing so hard

[Gay Boy]

wtf how do you guys go to barber shops? I have never even SEEN a barber shop in my entire life. All haircut places are either salons or for the cheap side there is like supercuts type of stuff.

Where the hell would you even find one? I have moved around a lot and every place in every state I lived in either has salons or supercut-esque places.

[BlueTsunami]

#0 Fade and 1/2 Inch top

How I roll

My cousin is hardcore, get the same cut but #00 Fade That shit be cutting yo head

wtf how do you guys go to barber shops? I have never even SEEN a barber shop in my entire life. All haircut places are either salons or for the cheap side there is like supercuts type of stuff.

Where the hell would you even find one? I have moved around a lot and every place in every state I lived in either has salons or supercut-esque places.

I go to a local Barber Shop my cousin introduced me too. $14 cuts but they take a single razor, shaving cream and shave down the back of your neck (if you get a fade) for assured smoothness. Its awesome.

[Gay Boy]

That doesn't help.  I never even seen a "local barber shop". All areas I ever venture into in the various towns I live in never have any. It's either chain cheapo places (ala supercuts) or a salon. I mean I honestly till I saw people online went to them thought they were some ancient relic of like the 50's that long died out. Still clueless how anyone finds them. I never seen them anywhere in my time living in Ohio, Georgia, or Michigan.

[Shuri]

i've been going to the same italian barbershop all my life. That place is awesome and always frequented by shady characters. Every saturday morning, the father from the nearby church shows up and the guys tell him dirty jokes, which he laughs to, until he reminds them that he's a man of faith.

The place has been there since the '60; the two guys are getting old, one of the two guys is only coming in twice a week now; I wonder whats going to happen when its going to go away. What's hilarious is that I'm the only french canadian customer (other than my father, back then) that I remember seeing there but they dont give me shit about it.

[BlueTsunami]

The Barber shop I go to is run by a South American (or is he Puerto Rican?). Theres a skinny white boy that cuts hair there too (theres 3 Barbers there). He appearently cuts hair, supa fly. The second dude looks Puerto Rican...cuts hair good too...the 3rd guy owns the shop and cuts hair awesomly as well.

[Gay Boy]

If barber shops are like that I am glad I never saw one before. I can't imagine wanting "shady characters" at the place I get my haircut. 

[Van Cruncheon]

i go to a great clips and they go OH YOU WORK FOR <INSERT COMPANY HERE> and i go YEAH and they go OH IT MUST BE NICE TO HAVE WEEKENDS OFF and then i sit in guilty silence

[Gay Boy]

Eh, they get their 2 days off too just not the same sat & sun as everyone else.

[Saint Cornelius]

My hair stylist probably can't cut hair worth a damn but she has big boobs that brush against me every so often so I keep going back.

[Phoenix Dark]

If barber shops are like that I am glad I never saw one before. I can't imagine wanting "shady characters" at the place I get my haircut. 

That's one of the charms of going to a barber shot fool. I TOLD you that salons were fruity!

There's always something shady happening at my barbershop. It's right across the street from Deja Vu (the strip joint) so it's the closest I get to boobs a couple Fridays a month. If someone's not trying to sell Amway, they're pimping bootleg DVDs.

One time this dude with plastic bags over his shoes walked in. Outside of the shoes he was dressed rather fly, had a cell phone, etc. Then while he was bragging very loudly about his girl to Red Lobster every week, his fat (white) lady came in and told him it was time to go home and take care of his son. The entire shop was quiet until he was dragged out the door, at which point everyone busted out laughing.

[FlameOfCallandor]

Didnt you make a few threads on gaf about your barber soliciting you for sex?

[Phoenix Dark]

Yea I had a gay barber once. He never solicited but was waaay to forward my god.

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=105382

Not my greatest thread

[bud]

immigrant barbers are my favourite. my dad always took me there because they're pretty cheap -- 6 bucks instead of >10 -- and i still go there every couple of weeks. they're always in basements which is awesome and the people waiting are different form what you'd find a in a normal salon, i quite like the jokes/stories that are told there.

i've been going to this guy for a couple of months now and even though i can only understand 50% of what he says, he always offers me some tea and is nice to me.

#2

[y2kev]

This happened to me when I first moved to the city last year. I tried to save money since I was trying the whole "poor college student" thing and the barber misheard me and used the razor like three levels more severe than I asked for. I looked like an AIDS/cancer patient for two weeks.

edit: BUD YOU ROCK SO HARD. #2!! (if it's the same #2)

[bud]

This happened to me when I first moved to the city last year. I tried to save money since I was trying the whole "poor college student" thing and the barber misheard me and used the razor like three levels more severe than I asked for. I looked like an AIDS/cancer patient for two weeks.

 

didn't you tell him not to do it?

i point at my fingers and i tell him that's how much i want you to cut off. sometimes the guy (immigrant, lol) doesn't understand and thinks that i'm telling him to save that much, and if i don't tell him again he'll shave all of that off 

#2 in the summer, it's nice and short. (no baldness, though, i'm no buddha)

it's kinda like matthew's hair, maybe a tiny bit shorter. btw, matthew looks awesome (no homo)

[y2kev]

This happened to me when I first moved to the city last year. I tried to save money since I was trying the whole "poor college student" thing and the barber misheard me and used the razor like three levels more severe than I asked for. I looked like an AIDS/cancer patient for two weeks.

 

didn't you tell him not to do it?

i point at my fingers and i tell him that's how much i want you to cut off. sometimes the guy (immigrant, lol) doesn't understand and thinks that i'm telling him to save that much, and if i don't tell him again he'll shave all of that off 

#2 in the summer, it's nice and short. (no baldness, though, i'm no buddha)
(Image removed from quote.)
it's kinda like matthew's hair, maybe a tiny bit shorter. btw, matthew looks awesome (no homo)

I was kinda looking down. I hate when the hair gets in my eyes after its cut, so I only periodically look up. This guy was so fast. When I looked up I was like completely shocked. I didn't know what to say. I mean, I wasn't like a skinhead...but I might as well have been.

It was so funny. I was literally shocked. He asked me where I was from and I just started stuttering.

[bud]

i always look in the mirror, always. i just can't trust that bastard.

[Robo]

I wonder if people ever see me browsing this forum at work and suspect I'm gay based on the things I'm looking at -- or if it adds further to their suspicions.

[Yeti]

Matthew Fox is an attractive man.

[hyp]

i agree w/ bud & kev, #2

i dunno where y'all are from, but "immigrant" barbers pretty much run the joint around here.  mostly of asian descent (lots of vietnamese).  you can't go to these shops accepting they'll understand fully, so just be prepared for it.  like others said, they're good for the cheap fades, nothing stylish -- no emo bullshit that's for sure. 

if you want some brad pitt type 'do, you're better off hitting the downtown scene.  but also expect to pay $40+ for a something you really want. 

[demi]

Matthew's facial hair is perfect, I want mine to grow like that  :'(

[bud]

i can't believe he's in his 40's

needless to say he looks really good. i like him in lost 

[Madrun Badrun]

Matthew's facial hair is perfect, I want mine to grow like that  :'(

I could trim my beard like that.  besides having the trucker shaped mustache of course. 

[Gay Boy]

That's one of the charms of going to a barber shot fool. I TOLD you that salons were fruity!

Where do you expect me to go? You know I live in yuppie liberal land where there wouldn't be something like that in sight. Hell they refuse to allow Wal-Marts in this town due to Wal-Mart = evil/etc... 

[Smooth Groove]

Matthew Fox is an attractive man.

Weak.  My guns are twice as big and I haven't even worked out in a year.  I've just as much as facial hair but I like to be clean shaven.