WTF inducing Craigslist posts

[Phoenix Dark]

I am a college girl, I'm 22, I have long black hair, I'm 5 foot 3, 110 pounds. I just got out of a 2 year long relationship and my ex wasn't very adventurous. I want a man for just one night, this upcoming Saturday. I want to have him finish either up my nose or in my ears. I know its weird but whatever. I also want him to pleasure me with various household objects. I have some fantasies that have to do with human excrement but I wont expect you to act out upon those fantasies, unless thats your thing. Afterwards I want to have you watch the movie Schindler's List with me while giving me anal. You will be required to cum more than once. I hope this doesn't get flagged, if you are interested send me a pic of your face and a little something about yourself and if I interested I will send you my pic.

My roommate and her girlfriend (she is Bi) might be interested in joining in also. If you are willing to let one of them use a strap-on, on you, then they would gladly participate in everything.

http://annarbor.craigslist.org/cas/397028235.html

I contacted her btw. Lets see if she responds

[Mupepe]

holy shit  she seems awesome dude.  if i lived here, i'd totally try

[bagofeyes]

sexy. and totally real.

[DJ_Tet]

You sent her a pic but you can't post a legible one here?

Bullshit.


edit:  Post her pic when she sends it 

[hyp]

PD, get in on the strap-on action if she responds.   make e'bore proud. 

[Shuri]

you wrote this craiglist post. god you suck

[Yeti]

I was eating carrots yesterday for breakfast, for the fifth day in a row. With each unpleasant bite, my face automatically contorted and the only thing stopping me from spitting them out onto the street was socially constructed manners. It was at this point that I asked why was I torturing myself, for the last five days in fact, with this vile orange root? I realized it was because I was too lazy to go grocery shopping. This factor seemed an insufficient reason for enduring such intense pain, and so I put my orange enemy down, and vowed right then and there to go grocery shopping that evening.

I did not.

You may ponder the relevance of this story, and I admit it has none. You've caught me in a conundrum. I could either delete it and start over, but considering that I was too lazy to go grocery shopping, I'm also probably too lazy to rewrite something. Or, we could pretend it is relevant on some grand metaphysical level that only liberal squares understand. I opt for choice number 2.

And so we pretend...

(but not about this).

I am currently in graduate school and do not like carrots. I enjoy thrift store shopping, popcorn (movie theater, not microwaved), people who carpool, an easy game of chess, and creating hope artifical hope in gardens that deep down, I know will never grow.

I am looking for someone who is non-mainstream America. Someone who protests everything, (even if they agree with it) just to show the sound of a different voice. Someone with a similar mental playing field, similar age, and similar human style. Someone who has a wonderful mind and beautiful being that realizes this is all just a dream so we might as well make it a fantastic one.

Now we can start.

this one was also funny

A group of Amazon descended, buxom, elfin maidens wish to light up your heart's wildest fantasy. Come ride on our pack of unicorns down the rainbow to the crystal stream where gnomes, ogres and 27th level wizards dwell. Pass the magical whispering willow and you will find us lovely ladies bathing in Aragon's fountain of youth, ready to pleasure you for time eternal. Serious inquiries only, please.

[Phoenix Dark]

 

[Howard Alan Treesong]

wait you live in ann arbor?

do you go to U o M? are you studying law?

my best friend just started there this week. I should have her TRACK U DOWN

[Phoenix Dark]

wait you live in ann arbor?

do you go to U o M? are you studying law?

my best friend just started there this week. I should have her TRACK U DOWN

I'm transfering to UM next year hopefully; I'm at EMU eh.

I'll meet your friend though, any time.

[Ichirou]

[Phoenix Dark]

Awesome response someone posted:

RE: Regarding the post mentioning Schindler's List?
Please, please seek professional help.

At the very least promise to do your residency at Ohio State!

[Howard Alan Treesong]

wait you live in ann arbor?

do you go to U o M? are you studying law?

my best friend just started there this week. I should have her TRACK U DOWN

I'm transfering to UM next year hopefully; I'm at EMU eh.

I'll meet your friend though, any time.

no way, she's black man's kryptonite! you stay away!

[Phoenix Dark]

wait you live in ann arbor?

do you go to U o M? are you studying law?

my best friend just started there this week. I should have her TRACK U DOWN

I'm transfering to UM next year hopefully; I'm at EMU eh.

I'll meet your friend though, any time.

no way, she's black man's kryptonite! you stay away!

First you want me to meet her, now no? Racist

[Howard Alan Treesong]

I didn't say I wanted you to meet her! I said I wanted her to TRACK YOU DOWN!

Preferably from a distance and with a digicam. This is a recon mission, not a social! There's a difference!

Anyways, I'd feel weird introducing my friend to someone I don't know myself.

But when I come to visit her in Ann Arbor maybe we can meet up!

[Phoenix Dark]

I didn't say I wanted you to meet her! I said I wanted her to TRACK YOU DOWN!

Preferably from a distance and with a digicam. This is a recon mission, not a social! There's a difference!

Anyways, I'd feel weird introducing my friend to someone I don't know myself.

But when I come to visit her in Ann Arbor maybe we can meet up!

And bring a camera :