i was listening to david cross on my Microsoft(tm) ZUNE(tm) whilst illin' like a villain at the 'rents crib, and out of a need to fidget, i picked up a copy of martha stewart's living from my mom's coffee table. what should i see on the second page i flip to but a TWO PAGE ADVERTISEMENT for the fucking wii, making it look like the SERIOUS EXERCISE EXPERIENCE OF THE DECADE. the ad copy doesn't even say the word "game" anywhere in it!
did i see a 360 anywhere in this magazine, or in good housekeeping (which had a similar ad for wii and wii sports, showing a family playing around the tv -- and again studiously avoiding the word "game," although "family activity" is largely substituted). NINTENDO HAS SOLD ALL OF YOU SHITFUCK EX-GAMERS OUT. the wii is like a cell phone, or a pico, or an iPod -- it is NOT a fucking game console. it is something with a processor and video output that apparently can ALSO play "games" if someone chooses to do so with it. its primary function is to train brains, train muscles, train your preferences, and to fucking SELL YOUR HARDCORE ASS OUT TO THE SAME FUCkING distinguished mentally-challenged fellows WHO BUY "GOLF SIMULATORS" AND ELABORATE EXERCISE BIKES. bobobobobobo zelda! bobobobobobo metroid!!! hey, nintendo has to get the 6 million faithful to shell out for it initially with SOMETHING. no wonder third-parties are confused -- the marketing message is GAMES ARE SUPERFLUOUS, ESPECIALLY THIRD-PARTY ONES. ALSO, THE WII IS NOT FOR YOU, NERD. how loud does nintendo have to shout this before you get it?
fuck you! i'm drunk!