Author Topic: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?  (Read 5880 times)

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bagofeyes

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Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« on: August 29, 2007, 01:08:36 AM »
"I want to translate a hentai to see how good my Japanese is and since you know Japanese you could possibly help me sort out my mistakes and such."

Ichirou

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #1 on: August 29, 2007, 01:10:59 AM »
GODDAMMIT THAT WAS PRIVATE
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CajoleJuice

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #2 on: August 29, 2007, 01:13:16 AM »
Do GAF PMs count?
AMC

bagofeyes

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #3 on: August 29, 2007, 01:13:42 AM »

CajoleJuice

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #4 on: August 29, 2007, 01:16:00 AM »
"I lurked eb for the first time in a while... couldn't help but notice the messages thread. Is cloudwalking seriously that obsessed or are you guys just ****ing around?"

"you're a virgin and you've never been kissed? i thought you were a pimp. you look pretty hot though. how could this happen. what the hell"
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bagofeyes

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #5 on: August 29, 2007, 01:17:16 AM »
i thought you were a pimp lol

CajoleJuice

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #6 on: August 29, 2007, 01:18:12 AM »
"holy shit.  dude, drive over there now and swoon her.  make her cum"

Quote
i thought you were a pimp lol

Someone didn't pay attention to my post history!
AMC

bagofeyes

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #7 on: August 29, 2007, 01:19:07 AM »
lol wtf

Ichirou

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #8 on: August 29, 2007, 01:20:42 AM »
"you're a virgin and you've never been kissed? i thought you were a pimp. you look pretty hot though. how could this happen. what the hell"

Did Himuro write that one?
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Flannel Boy

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #9 on: August 29, 2007, 01:21:33 AM »

"you're a virgin and you've never been kissed? i thought you were a pimp. you look pretty hot though. how could this happen. what the hell"

Cajole, I was unaware that GAF allowed users to send PM's to themselves. 

Van Cruncheon

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #10 on: August 29, 2007, 01:24:06 AM »
"why are you suck[sic] a pompus[sic] obnoxious taco? i would love to punch your stupid face in"

i keep that one around as a pick-me-up on those dreary mondays :-[
duc

bagofeyes

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #11 on: August 29, 2007, 01:27:21 AM »
deciding whether I should put one up about thetrin...

bagofeyes

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #12 on: August 29, 2007, 01:29:22 AM »
Oh here was one from gaf:

"Hey Metroid, I hope I can help you.

I’m didn’t want to go into this depth on the forum because I’d cop WAY too much flack, but in this course they taught us things you things to say to make negative entities go away, and they work too!

Everyone will tell you these experiences are just crap in your head and it’s just a dream, but if you’ve experienced it you know it’s not just crap in your head. It’s one thing to have a bad dream, it’s another to experience this and it's real and it’s ****ing scary.

This is a quote from the book that went with the course:

“One very well recorded type of encounter happens when a person is partially in the Astral, laying in bed and feels totally paralysed (this kind of paralysis is a function that prevents sleep walking), sensing or seeing a negative entity close by or actually in contact with them. These entities take advantage of the natural time when you’re not quite in the physical body and not quite detached in the Astral and so are unable to move. In times like this, so long as you are conscious, you can use what we call conjurations which are words that dispel negative entities”.

Conjurations.

Conjurations are phrases that have the power to return negative entities back to where they come from or to disable them. The 2 that were described in the book are called “Jupiter” and “Bellilin”.

Jupiter:

To do this conjuration, you place your left hand over your solar plexus (around the navel). With the right hand you from the shape of a gun with the index and middle fingers extended and the thumb up, and extend your arm in front of you (pointing at the entity if you see one) then pronounce the following three times:

In the name of Jupiter,
Father of Gods,
I conjure you,
Te Vigos Cosilim.

You repeat all that 3 times.

Bellilin;

Bellilin is a divine wind that blows away negativity, and is particularly useful if you cannot move as you do not need to do anything with your arms. THIS is what you need when you feel paralysed.

You sing the following words 3 times:

Bellilin, Bellilin, Bellilin,
Amphora of Salvation,
I would like to be next to you,
Materialism has no strength next to me,
Bellilin, Bellilin, Bellilin.

You have to say all of it all the way though 3 times before it works and makes them go away, but it will work.

Another thing you can do is create a circle of protection. When the environment is cleared of negative entities with a conjuration, it needs to be protected and sealed so that they cannot come back in, and this is done with a circle of protection.

To make the circle, you say the following 3 times:

“My Father Please, order my elemental intercessor to wrap a magical circle of protection around me (or the bed or the room etc) so that no evil entity can harm me”.

Each time you say the above, you imagine a circle formed by a beam of light being drawn around wherever you have chosen, ensuring the circle is joined and complete. The circle will remain until you move out of it physically and then it is broken.

To be honest, every single night before I sleep I clear the room with bellilin, then I do a circle of protection.

And it all may sound totally crazy and insane, but seriously all this stuff works so I don’t question it how or why, I just do it. Memorise it.

Also, you can do the course I took on-line, and it’s free. The next one starts soon, http://www.gnosticweb.com/index.php?PageID=333

Seriously, you learn a whole lot of crazy stuff, but you experience a whole lot of crazy stuff too, WAY cool!

Good luck ;)"

Van Cruncheon

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #13 on: August 29, 2007, 01:30:57 AM »
:o

someone clearly was moved by xenosaga
duc

Ichirou

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #14 on: August 29, 2007, 01:32:10 AM »
deciding whether I should put one up about thetrin...

DO IT!!! FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!
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bagofeyes

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #15 on: August 29, 2007, 01:33:12 AM »
deciding whether I should put one up about thetrin...

DO IT!!! FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!

lol, but it will probably out the guy who said it, who is a nice guy i think

Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #16 on: August 29, 2007, 01:36:09 AM »
The only PM I have is from Cloud's Dad, giving me Demi's real name and address for last year's Secret Santa. I'll refrain from posting that, though.
野球

Ichirou

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #17 on: August 29, 2007, 01:38:35 AM »
Some funny ones with flashbacks to some drama from the past year on EB.

Quote
Yes I'm "black". Maurice Cooks is real, but he is not me. My name is Michelle

Quote
I'm upset with Cheebs right now, but I'm still apart of that squad along with Shake. But trust me, I'm not doing anything stupid with them. I look at myself, Cheebs, and Shake as the next MAF, Drinky, and Willco. Of course we need 3 more years or so, but until that time trust me. No more pranks. I'll always have a joke character edge with the sex thing, but even that is going to be tamed

Quote
Quote
Are you or are you not a new account by the infamous poster known as G? Don't lie.

yes. i'm only here to wreck havok on whiteman. Since he and sporsk banned me for telling the truth. It was rather fucked up of him. I know my credibility doesnt go for shit. But i'm willing to make a good of my faults. Sadly I wont be getting my gaf account back anytime soon.

Nice to see you and roxy posted side by side yesterday on gaf.
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Ichirou

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #18 on: August 29, 2007, 01:39:19 AM »
deciding whether I should put one up about thetrin...

DO IT!!! FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!

lol, but it will probably out the guy who said it, who is a nice guy i think

DO IT DO IT DO IT
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Madrun Badrun

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #19 on: August 29, 2007, 01:41:12 AM »
Demi's real name and address.

I gots that info already  :-*

bagofeyes

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #20 on: August 29, 2007, 01:43:33 AM »
deciding whether I should put one up about thetrin...

DO IT!!! FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!

lol, but it will probably out the guy who said it, who is a nice guy i think

DO IT DO IT DO IT

Ok, what the hell lol. Here's the main part of it:

"Anyway, about all the GAFfers here, everyone is pretty cool, although I wanted to give you a heads up on The Trin. The best way I can describe him is 'a clingy girlfriend', since a few of us met him, he wouldn't stop pestering us everyday with phone calls, emails and wanting to meet up... he was tolerable at first but since then we've had to block him from our phones. He's perfectly fine on the forum, just a bit too creepy in real life."



Ichirou

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #21 on: August 29, 2007, 01:44:44 AM »

Ok, what the hell lol. Here's the main part of it:

"Anyway, about all the GAFfers here, everyone is pretty cool, although I wanted to give you a heads up on The Trin. The best way I can describe him is 'a clingy girlfriend', since a few of us met him, he wouldn't stop pestering us everyday with phone calls, emails and wanting to meet up... he was tolerable at first but since then we've had to block him from our phones. He's perfectly fine on the forum, just a bit too creepy in real life."

J-gaffer, eh?  Is it john tv?
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bagofeyes

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #22 on: August 29, 2007, 01:48:01 AM »
lol im not tellin

Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #23 on: August 29, 2007, 01:48:59 AM »

Ok, what the hell lol. Here's the main part of it:

"Anyway, about all the GAFfers here, everyone is pretty cool, although I wanted to give you a heads up on The Trin. The best way I can describe him is 'a clingy girlfriend', since a few of us met him, he wouldn't stop pestering us everyday with phone calls, emails and wanting to meet up... he was tolerable at first but since then we've had to block him from our phones. He's perfectly fine on the forum, just a bit too creepy in real life."

J-gaffer, eh?  Is it john tv?

DCharlie?
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Ichirou

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #24 on: August 29, 2007, 01:50:43 AM »
I remember thetrin saying he felt excluded from the group back when he visited last year for Tokyo Game Show.  He stayed at sp0rsk's house and he felt like sp0rsk resented him or something and didn't want to let him participate in the GAFcast and such.

EDIT: Actually, neither sp0rsk or john tv qualify as "nice guys", so I'm gonna say dcharlie as well.
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bagofeyes

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #25 on: August 29, 2007, 01:51:40 AM »
 :sp0rsk1

ToxicAdam

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #26 on: August 29, 2007, 02:04:46 AM »
Over a year and a half ago, I got one from am nintenho calling me "a dense, worthless cunt" or something like that.

First time I ever received a hate PM from someone I never interacted with.


Smooth Groove

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #27 on: August 29, 2007, 02:08:15 AM »
I got a pretty scary one not too long ago.  This gaffag got upset when I made a comment about the laughable obession that gaming nerds have with realism in driving games when most of them don't know crap about real racing.

would you mind explaining what you mean here little fella?

did I call you a nerd or a fuckhead or a motherfucker or something?

unless my english are so bad that I understand wrong, you got some explaining to do!


Oblivion

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #28 on: August 29, 2007, 02:08:56 AM »
EDIT: Actually, neither sp0rsk or john tv qualify as "nice guys", so I'm gonna say dcharlie as well.

What? John TV's not a nice guy?

bagofeyes

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #29 on: August 29, 2007, 02:18:49 AM »
Spread your Jgaffer goss, bro

Ichirou

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #30 on: August 29, 2007, 02:21:56 AM »
Most j-gaffers are dicks.
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bagofeyes

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #31 on: August 29, 2007, 02:25:00 AM »
Most j-gaffers are dicks.

We need anecdotes!

Smooth Groove

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #32 on: August 29, 2007, 02:25:22 AM »
Most j-gaffers are dicks.

I'll be a dick too if I were a fugly dork working a shit job in a country several thousand miles away just to have a small chance of getting laid by some chick that none of the locals want.  


Ichirou

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #33 on: August 29, 2007, 02:26:04 AM »
Most j-gaffers are dicks.

I'll be a dick too if I were a fugly dork working a shit job in a country several thousand miles away just to have a small chance of getting laid by some chick that none of the locals want.  



I'm confused.  Is this...somehow...directed at me...or bagofeyes?
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Smooth Groove

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #34 on: August 29, 2007, 02:29:21 AM »

I'm confused.  Is this...somehow...directed at me...or bagofeyes?

 :lol  I didn't say "no offence" for a reason.  I was assuming that you wouldn't be offended since you're not
one of those that I was talking about. 

bagofeyes

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #35 on: August 29, 2007, 02:30:56 AM »
ouch, the truth hurts. lolz

Ichirou

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #36 on: August 29, 2007, 02:32:29 AM »
huahuahuahuahua :rofl

Actually, though, some j-gaffers are successful.  john tv does game localizations, dcharlie works for a very high-profile investment company, reno works for capcom in some capacity, etc.
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Smooth Groove

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #37 on: August 29, 2007, 02:34:37 AM »
Dcharlie is one of the cool geijins living in Japan because you never see him have an air of superiority about living in Japan. 

bagofeyes

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #38 on: August 29, 2007, 02:35:11 AM »
tnw is the biggest cockblower

Ichirou

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #39 on: August 29, 2007, 02:36:00 AM »
I don't get why anyone would have an air of superiority about living in Japan.  Being a japafag is not something to be proud of.
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Smooth Groove

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #40 on: August 29, 2007, 02:39:46 AM »
I don't get it either.  But people like Sporks always seem to think they're so much better because they're living in Japan and you're not.  I don't see what's the big deal about living in Japan.  It's a great place to go if you want to enjoy some fine dining and buy some videogame stuff that you can't find in the US but I would rather live in in the US of A any day of the week. 

Van Cruncheon

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #41 on: August 29, 2007, 02:41:58 AM »
they act like it's better there because gaffots swoon and fawn all over them. "give us your gaming and anime insider gifts o blessed ones" they moan quasiorgasmically, their milkfat digits stroking their swollen obeisance to ALL THINGS NIPPON

we call this "japansturbation" and it is a prelude to hot hot homojapual sex
« Last Edit: August 29, 2007, 02:43:30 AM by Professor Prole »
duc

Ichirou

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #42 on: August 29, 2007, 02:44:12 AM »
they act like it's better there because gaffots swoon and fawn all over them. "give us your gaming and anime insider gifts o blessed ones" they moan quasiorgasmically, their milkfat digits stroking their swollen obeisance to ALL THINGS NIPPON

Yeah, but there's another, darker side.  There are actually gaffers who are jealous of and vindictive against people who live in Japan, instead of laughing at them as they should.
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Smooth Groove

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #43 on: August 29, 2007, 02:45:43 AM »
they act like it's better there because gaffots swoon and fawn all over them. "give us your gaming and anime insider gifts o blessed ones" they moan quasiorgasmically, their milkfat digits stroking their swollen obeisance to ALL THINGS NIPPON

we call this "japansturbation" and it is a prelude to hot hot homojapual sex

 :lol

I like it better when you use tumescent instead of swollen. 

Mondain

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #44 on: August 29, 2007, 02:52:26 AM »
I knew that John TV was nothing but a bigheaded prick. He plays the nice guy for his reputation's sake.

brawndolicious

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #45 on: August 29, 2007, 03:04:37 AM »
what does [sic] mean?

Candyflip

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #46 on: August 29, 2007, 03:06:24 AM »
what does [sic] mean?
To indicate the erroneous use of the word was intentional and not a typo.
ffs

brawndolicious

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #47 on: August 29, 2007, 03:14:22 AM »
what does [sic] mean?
To indicate the erroneous use of the word was intentional and not a typo.
so the guy who messaged drinky was intentionally homoing out while threatening him?

Candyflip

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #48 on: August 29, 2007, 03:20:07 AM »
what does [sic] mean?
To indicate the erroneous use of the word was intentional and not a typo.
so the guy who messaged drinky was intentionally homoing out while threatening him?
The guy who PMed him misspelled "such" and "pompous." Drinky put in the [sic] to show that he (Drinky) did not in fact make those typos, and that the post is a direct quote of what the PM said.
ffs

aoi tsuki

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #49 on: August 29, 2007, 03:22:48 AM »
Probably the weirdest are where guys wanted me to mentor them on talking to women. i got one from Tommie Hu$tle a while back when he thought i was trying to talk shit about his relationship with Alyssa, which i wasn't. Alyssa Dejour messaged me a few times, but nothing worth posting.

bagofeyes

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #50 on: August 29, 2007, 03:42:22 AM »
Probably the weirdest are where guys wanted me to mentor them on talking to women. i got one from Tommie Hu$tle a while back when he thought i was trying to talk shit about his relationship with Alyssa, which i wasn't. Alyssa Dejour messaged me a few times, but nothing worth posting.

She was the one who sent me the weird spell shit

brawndolicious

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #51 on: August 29, 2007, 03:43:53 AM »
The guy who PMed him misspelled "such" and "pompous." Drinky put in the [sic] to show that he (Drinky) did not in fact make those typos, and that the post is a direct quote of what the PM said.
I see, that's a weird mistake to make and the way that drinky quoted it makes it most likely the black stallion.

aoi tsuki

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #52 on: August 29, 2007, 04:20:30 AM »
Probably the weirdest are where guys wanted me to mentor them on talking to women. i got one from Tommie Hu$tle a while back when he thought i was trying to talk shit about his relationship with Alyssa, which i wasn't. Alyssa Dejour messaged me a few times, but nothing worth posting.

She was the one who sent me the weird spell shit
She's Aussie. She was prolly getting donkeypunched by a kangaroo while Tommie orgasmed in the corner as she posted.
« Last Edit: August 29, 2007, 04:25:09 AM by aoi tsuki »

bagofeyes

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #53 on: August 29, 2007, 04:25:59 AM »
so am I  :-\

bud

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #54 on: August 29, 2007, 05:39:05 AM »
alyssa was pretty hot, i think. milf total (30 something) she stopped posting on gaf :'(
zzz

cloudwalking

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #55 on: August 29, 2007, 06:11:47 AM »
"Hey there. I know you don't know who I am, and I'm going to try to make this as non-creepy as I possibly can. I caught your pictures in the big thread, and I thought you were awfully cute and fantastic with a camera. :)"

"I talked to jarosh this morning on the phone <3 are you jealous???"

"I would give anything to make sweet love to you. 8P"

"You actually gave nude photoes to Demi and Pimpwerx? WTF? Are they real? omg"

"Does Jarosh treat you like a princess?  Is that how you like a man to treat you, or do you go more for the jerky types?"

"it's so sweet that you try to make yourself always available for me :-*"

Ichirou

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #56 on: August 29, 2007, 06:20:07 AM »
cloud wins. :lol
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The Sceneman

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #57 on: August 29, 2007, 06:20:36 AM »
no she doesnt, cajole's was 10x better
#1

Ichirou

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #58 on: August 29, 2007, 06:23:06 AM »
Only if Himuro wrote it.
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brawndolicious

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Re: Got any funny messages in your PM inbox?
« Reply #59 on: August 29, 2007, 07:50:07 AM »
I think the first one is fuma (christard with a crush on her) but I don't know what name he came here with and he stopped posting pretty fast.