Drinky Crow renounces J-RPGs: Film at 11

[Van Cruncheon]

Recently, I had a revelation: I don't really like most Japanese console RPGs. Most of you probably knew this years ago, but it was news to me. After purchasing three craptacular Japanese RPGS back-to-back -- Magna Carta, Atelier Iris 2, and Tales of Legendia -- I realized that I was just buyin' the fuckin' things to COLLECT THEM cuz WOW HEY THEY ARE ALWAYS IN DEMAND and OMG NERD ENVY. Collecting shit -- especially the animu shit that lacks any real artistic or entertainment value to the collector -- defines a sad human being, and I will have no part in it.

I really can't stand the plots, characters, and general tropes that define these games. If I hafta see another submissive blonde-haired angel, tomboy princess, dude in a halter top, spandex-clad loli, maid uniform, or tree of mana, I will choke a bitch. The art is so uniformly sterile and homogenized it almost makes me ill.

As a result, I am giving Evilbore.com the exclusive coverage as I, a thirty-two year old man with a wife, a full-time job, and a child, KICK THE JRPG HABIT.

This year I will only purchase Disgaea 2 and Persona 3, because I will actually PLAY and ENJOY them. The first may have gag-inducing loli art, but it also has the stats and turn-based mechanics I so covet -- and really, the NIS games are the only games I've played to completion in the last two years. Persona 3 sounds like the awesomest awesome what ever awesomed, and hence I cannot conceivably resist it.

Games I will not buy, however: Tales of the Abyss. Final Fantasy 12. Um. Help me out with the rest.

White Man will be watching me like a hawk, and I am sure he will inform you if I try to sneak one in.

[ToxicAdam]

It was a sad day for me playing through Tales of Symphonia when I realized this also. I tried Baten Kaitos and then DQVIII .... but the feeling of emptiness was still there. I just don't give a shit about them anymore.

But that being said, I can still play through the old PS1 and SNES ones and enjoy them.

[Cheebs]

JRPG's were fantastic to me till the end of the SNES era. Since then the only one I really found myself enjoying strongly on consoles was FF IX. When I think of my favorite console RPG's in the last 5 years I think of KOTOR and the Elder Scrolls games. Morrowind on my 360 is the most fun I had in a console RPG in YEARS.  Mass Effect also seems to be my most wanted console RPG right now.

I have turned into a Western RPG whore.

[TakingBackSunday]

Sounds about right, and I admire the crusade.  Fight the good fight!

Still though, I'd say you give a couple more JRPGs a shot.  As amazingly shitty as Legendia was and is, I've heard the Abyss is really really good, a far more superior effort than Legendia.  I've heard it's like the quality of Symphonia only better in plot and even some gameplay aspects.  That may not matter to you, bubt eh.  I'd say at least rent it.

As for Final Fantasy XII...   That's probably going to be the best RPG of the YEAR next to Oblivion.  Why you'd want to miss out and Matsuno goodness is confusing me.

In terms of RPG's to stay away from...well, Valkyrie Profile on PSP and PS@ is all I can think about for the moment.

[Van Cruncheon]

I still enjoy the dungeon-heavy and puzzle-dense RPGs like Lufia 2 and the Dragon Quest titles. I'm just sick of anime, really, especially that of the hackneyed fantasy variety. Even with apparent quality like what I expect from FF12, I just can't endure another polygon puppet theatre cutscene and wacky anime double-takes or manufactured drama.

Really, I just want Icewind Dale 3.

[Cheebs]

As for Final Fantasy XII...   That's probably going to be the best RPG of the YEAR next to Oblivion.

MEH! Oblivion>>>>> FF XII

[Van Cruncheon]

I really, REALLY wanted to like Oblivion, but the fact that monsters and loot level up with you irked me in some deep way and hence I have played no more than maybe 10 hours of it tops.

[TakingBackSunday]

As for Final Fantasy XII...   That's probably going to be the best RPG of the YEAR next to Oblivion.

MEH! Oblivion>>>>> FF XII

You make me cold inside.  Matsuno hates you now.

[TVC15]

No FF12?  Does this mean you hate VP, too?

[Cheebs]

As for Final Fantasy XII...   That's probably going to be the best RPG of the YEAR next to Oblivion.

MEH! Oblivion>>>>> FF XII

You make me cold inside.  Matsuno hates you now.

I do feel FF I-VI and FF IX are amazing and high quality rpg's though. That has to count for something.

[TakingBackSunday]

As for Final Fantasy XII...   That's probably going to be the best RPG of the YEAR next to Oblivion.

MEH! Oblivion>>>>> FF XII

You make me cold inside.  Matsuno hates you now.

I do feel FF I-VI and FF IX are amazing and high quality rpg's though. That has to count for something.

Yes you're okay with me in that regard.  VI is all kinds of

I'm playing through all of them again to get ready for XII, and I'm at VII right now.  I actually forgot how much I enjoyed it, but it's still no VI.

[Van Cruncheon]

No, VP has creepy nostalgia value for me.

[demi]

Well I like them, so you can fuck off

Gives me a reason to troll them

[Van Cruncheon]

why is demi sad today  :'(

[demi]

i have some white man on my lip

[Cheebs]

Well I like them, so you can fuck off

Gives me a reason to troll them

Handheld ones rock, console ones are where the suck is. Contact & Final Fantasy III = awesome. Fuck Baten Kaitos prequel and Valkyrie Profile 2.

[BlueTsunami]

Drinky cannot and WILL NOT resist the totall and complete awesomness that is Final Fantasy XII

MARK MY WORDS

[MrAngryFace]

Breath of Fire V and Skies of Arcadia, the only J-RPGs I need.

[Van Cruncheon]

I'll have a harder time resisting Valkyrie Profile 2 than FF12.

[TakingBackSunday]

Well I like them, so you can fuck off

Gives me a reason to troll them

KHII KHII KHII KHII KHII

[demi]

i meant the bad games, like persona 3

[TVC15]

i meant the bad games, like persona 3

[demi]

that's not a role playing game, mormon

i mean, moron

[TVC15]

that's not a role playing game, mormon

i mean, moron

[demi]

or Persona 3, yah

[Mondain]

I still deeply enjoy the genre and these are the games that give me the most satisfaction, and the highest desire to go through them. Even if some stories are pretty crappy, and many characters and art styles stereotyped beyond belief, I still find these stories and the engaging quests that these games purposes to be more intriguing than most other genres'. It kinda fullfills my desire for pseudo-epic stories, heroes, villains and fairytales. Many girls are fairly sweet to look at too, this I'll candidly admit.

How is it any worse than the 1000th war FPS, 1000th RTS with goblins, 1000th violent third person Max Payne clone, or the 1000th puzzle game with little blocks?

The difference with before is that my standards are higher than before. I don't believe there's ever enough of them, if they are done well that is. Many of them are complete crap, just like many games are stinking piles of feces in other genres. When I begin to play a console RPG and find out that it seems overly corny and mediocre I stop immediately. While in my teenhood I'd bear through atrocities like Beyond the Beyond or Tecmo's Secret of the Stars, nowadays I only really bother with the cream of the crop.

This year I'm going to play Valkyrie Profile 2: Silmeria, Final Fantasy XII, Xenosaga Episode 3, Persona 3, Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Summoner, and possibly a couple others. Can't stand tactical turn-based J-RPGs, though.

[BlueTsunami]

I masterbated once, while watching a Lulu cutscene in FFX. The sense of shame I felt after I busted my nut was horrible

[Christopher]

Meh JRPGs lost their appeal to me long ways ago sorta like that anime stuff.

[trippingmartian]

I don't even really enjoy SMT and Persona that much, I just really dig the art and music. I've spent much more time with Oblivion. The last JRPG that really consumed me was Final Fantasy IX.

[LunarAura]

Last jrpg I really enjoyed was Secret of Mana, and that wasn't even an RPG really.

[Error Macro]

Last jrpg I really enjoyed was Secret of Mana, and that wasn't even an RPG really.

Same here.

Don't know if it was me that changed or just the games, but none of them appealed to me after that.

[Vizzys]

Im gonna buy FF12  ;D

Screw you guys.

[LunarAura]

Dunno Ermac, true way to test that is to go back to SoM soon and see if you still enjoy it. I went back to it a week back (thx modded xbox) and can safely say I still love me some Rabite beatings. Nostalgia might cloud my judgment though.

[Himu]

Devil Summoner, you forgot Devil Summoner!

Also, I don't see the problem because a lot of the high profile jrpgs coming out this and next year aren't typical jrpgs. They're evolution and all unique to eachother:

Persona 3
Devil Summoner
Valkyrie Profile 2
Final Fantasy XII
Yakuza

And none of these, aside from DS and Yakuza less so, have random battles.

Instead of denouncing the whole genre, you could find what's good out there and something that's your style.

[Cyanista]

I don't think anyone with a brain can argue that J-rpgs are the pinnacle of the roleplaying game genre.

I mean, with games like Planescape: Torment, Fallout, Neverwinter Nights, Baldur's Gate . . .western RPG's ftw.

I want FF12, too, though.  Hell, I played through X-2 twice.  FF is a guilty pleasure.

[Cheebs]

Persona 3
Devil Summoner
Valkyrie Profile 2
Final Fantasy XII
Yakuza

Only Yakuza will be good out of that list. Despite the voice acting. IT IS THE TRUTH.

[Mondain]

Why does everyone keep cursing at Sega for Yakuza since of their English dub? Even if it ends up being sub-par, it's still the same gaming core, isn't it?

[Cheebs]

Why does everyone keep cursing at Sega for Yakuza since of their English dub? Even if it ends up being sub-par, it's still the same gaming core, isn't it?

You haven't seen any videos of it in english have you?  :'(

[Howard Alan Treesong]

I feel pretty much the same way as ya, Drinky. Somewhere around Tales of Destiny PSP I suddenly realized that, not only was I not enjoying myself, that I hadn't enjoyed a JRPG since FFX-2, and hadn't REALLY enjoyed one since Breath of Fire V. Both of which are so far off the well-trod cliched path as to hardly count. The genre collapsed under its own animu weight.

[Debaser]

This year I will only purchase Disgaea 2 and Persona 3, because I will actually PLAY and ENJOY them. The first may have gag-inducing loli art, but it also has the stats and turn-based mechanics I so covet -- and really, the NIS games are the only games I've played to completion in the last two years. Persona 3 sounds like the awesomest awesome what ever awesomed, and hence I cannot conceivably resist it.

No Devil Summoner?  Dude, I'm gonna cry.  ;_;

[Himu]

I feel pretty much the same way as ya, Drinky. Somewhere around Tales of Destiny PSP I suddenly realized that, not only was I not enjoying myself, that I hadn't enjoyed a JRPG since FFX-2, and hadn't REALLY enjoyed one since Breath of Fire V. Both of which are so far off the well-trod cliched path as to hardly count. The genre collapsed under its own animu weight.

SMT is the light.

[Fatghost28]

I haven't enjoyed a j-rpg game since Disgaea.  I bought a bunch of other ones this gen before I realized the whole genre is just boring and annoying to me now. 

[Van Cruncheon]

I enjoyed Nocturne, and I actually kept DDS1 and 2 when I purged my collection. I just won't be buying another outside of Persona 3.

[theetrin]

I don't think anyone with a brain can argue that J-rpgs are the pinnacle of the roleplaying game genre.

I mean, with games like Planescape: Torment, Fallout, Neverwinter Nights, Baldur's Gate . . .western RPG's ftw.

I want FF12, too, though.  Hell, I played through X-2 twice.  FF is a guilty pleasure.

I tend to find JRPGs far more engaging than western RPGs. I really dislike the art style of most western RPGs, and outside of Fallout and Planescape, all of the DnDesque RPGs sort of blend together for me. That said, I think most JRPGs are fucking shite now days. Persona 3 is badass, KH2 is badass, and VP2 is NOT BAD. The rest, for the most part, blow.

[Mondain]

there are simply a lot more J-RPGs than there was years ago, especially in North America

since the blockbuster success of Final Fantasy VII, a lot of game editors want to touch that market that develops a rabid fanbase

it's like in every genre, when there's a goldrush a lot of crap is created -- you got to be able to cherry pick the good and avoid messing with the crap, and there's no need to tag the whole genre as being mediocre since this is a normal economic phenomenon, isn't it?

life's just too short to waste its time enjoying half-baked duds

[Shuri]

Rhe only j-rpg I truely liked this generation were SMT:N and Digital Devil Saga 1 and 2. Yakuza has interesting settings and backstory, but the actual fighting is very, very average at best.