There is no water or electricity in my apartment

[GilloD]

My retardo landlord decided to try and DIY public utilities with a backhoe. He told us the electricity was going to be off, but only for half an hour. It took 8 hours. However, he fucked up the water main and now I have no water. I can't pee, poop,cook, clean or drink anything. I've called the town and the state and no one seems interested that distinguished mentally-challenged fucking Randy is digging up town pipes with a backhoe he borrowed from his Dad.


What the fuck? I'm so thirsty. I kept the recipets for the bags of ice I had to buy to keep my food from going bad, I hope he's ready to reimburse me for lunch, dinner and a gallon of water.

Keep in mind that when I moved in the AC was busted, there was no hot water and no gas FOR A WEEK. God fuck!

[FlameOfCallandor]

Call the cops and tell them that you saw some suspicious looking people diggin up the water main. That will get them there in a hurry.

[Van Cruncheon]

actually, foc's plan isn't half bad. dial the county and tell them that a water main burst in your complex and you don't know why.

[Madrun Badrun]

Call the cops and tell them that you saw some suspicious looking people diggin up the water main. That will get them there in a hurry.

Also be sure to use the word terrorist and maybe "anthrax in the water" at least once to really get attention. 

[FlameOfCallandor]

When I first typed it I typed terrorist, but you dont want them to say that you were intentionally misleading. Imply terrorist without saying it.

[demi]

Blame it on the hot fatty.

[bagofeyes]

I blame one of your fat intruders

[Ichirou]

Tell the cops your annoying female houseguest did it.

[xnikki118x]

I believe there are laws against renting a place without running water. It has to be some kind of health code violation. Definitely call the cops.

[Phoenix Dark]

It's a trap. Get an axe

[Madrun Badrun]

Poop on the carpet! 

[brawndolicious]

call the city but change you're wording a little.  say that you feel the building (especially around the sinks) shaking which is scaring the shit out of you and that your landlord has no license for plumbing but has been trying to fix it for a long time.  If water pipes are shaking (which they can if the plumber doesn't know what he's doing) they'll send somebody.  I don't know if this is the type of thing they send a single guy over the next day to check or if they call the fire department for this so use it as a last resort.

[BlueTsunami]

Tell the cops your spending a weekend at Bernie's

[xnikki118x]

Do you have water and/or electricity yet? I humbly request an update.

[GilloD]

Yeah. We only went without for like 12 hours. But that's still a long time without notice.

[Scurvy Stan]

Pretend to be your landlord and call the utilities company and have them shut off his service.

[Mupepe]

my apartment complex left the hot water off in my building for 3 days.  they kept telling us it was going to be fixed.  when i finally called (again) on the third day, the lady was like "they said it was fixed last night!"

they knocked 90 bucks off my rent.  sweet tits.

[ToxicAdam]

Go buy a water cooler-sized jug of water, so at least you can take a shit in the toilet. Use the water to flush the toilet.