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Author Topic: I propose an adjustment to the highway system to benefit "the reasonable driver"  (Read 978 times)

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Robo

  • Senior Member
I propose an adjustment to the highway system to benefit "the reasonable driver"
« on: September 14, 2007, 11:19:06 AM »
What our highway system needs is a DUMBFUCK OCCUPANCY lane.  The DFO lane is reserved for people who don't have the slightest fucking idea how to drive.  Anyone with a moving violation more severe than a 20+mph speeding ticket gets permanently restricted to the DFO lane.  Lesser violations get temporary sentences, time-frame depending on the severity.  All women, Asians and people over the age of 65 get permanent DFO restrictions.  And of course, if you doubt yourself (or if you're a masochistic degenerate), you are free to drive in the DFO lane at your own discretion.

I'm calling my congressman later in the day.  With any luck, you will see this plan fully implemented nationwide in the next few years.
« Last Edit: September 14, 2007, 04:06:51 PM by RoboJ »
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obo

MrAngryFace

  • I have the most sensible car on The Bore
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Re: I propose an adjustment to the highway system to benefit "the reasonable driver"
« Reply #1 on: September 14, 2007, 11:23:46 AM »
That sounds awesome
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bagofeyes

  • blow me - I deserve it
  • Senior Member
Re: I propose an adjustment to the highway system to benefit "the reasonable dri
« Reply #2 on: September 14, 2007, 11:27:01 AM »
I drove a car when I went back to Auz recently for the first time in years. I forgot how much fucking road rage I would get with all the fuckwits on the roads. So glad I don't have to drive where I live now.
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MrAngryFace

  • I have the most sensible car on The Bore
  • Senior Member
Re: I propose an adjustment to the highway system to benefit "the reasonable driver"
« Reply #3 on: September 14, 2007, 11:28:25 AM »
I would actually feel better if people did dumb shit to be mean, but every time I am cut off, almost hit, or have to break for someone, theyre always on their goddamned cellphone not paying attention.
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FlameOfCallandor

  • The Walking Dead
Re: I propose an adjustment to the highway system to benefit "the reasonable driver"
« Reply #4 on: September 14, 2007, 12:33:07 PM »
Quote from: RoboJ on September 14, 2007, 11:19:06 AM
All women, Asians and people over the age of 65 get permanent DFO restrictions. 

I agree with this idea.
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bagofeyes

  • blow me - I deserve it
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Re: I propose an adjustment to the highway system to benefit "the reasonable dri
« Reply #5 on: September 14, 2007, 12:35:58 PM »
Did you just double-bold 'asians'?
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Smooth Groove

  • Both teams played hard, my man
  • Senior Member
Re: I propose an adjustment to the highway system to benefit "the reasonable driver"
« Reply #6 on: September 14, 2007, 01:13:33 PM »
Quote from: MrAngryFace on September 14, 2007, 11:28:25 AM
I would actually feel better if people did dumb shit to be mean, but every time I am cut off, almost hit, or have to break for someone, theyre always on their goddamned cellphone not paying attention.

That's why you need to buy a Porsche.  Porsches keep you out of accidents. 
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Bloodwake

  • Legend in his own mind
  • Senior Member
Re: I propose an adjustment to the highway system to benefit "the reasonable driver"
« Reply #7 on: September 14, 2007, 03:36:41 PM »
I would vote for this.

Not the sex restrictions, because I had a girl be the designated driver a few weeks ago.

BUT, I would be consenting to have all women test OUT of the DFL. Like have a test to see if they can drive in other lanes or something.


THIS NEEDS TO BE DONE.
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HLR

T234

  • Canadian Legal Expert and Hillballer
  • Senior Member
Re: I propose an adjustment to the highway system to benefit "the reasonable dri
« Reply #8 on: September 14, 2007, 03:38:28 PM »
I routinely drive 20+MPH over the speed limit on I-64 and don't consider myself a dumbfuck.
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Bloodwake

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Re: I propose an adjustment to the highway system to benefit "the reasonable dri
« Reply #9 on: September 14, 2007, 03:43:08 PM »
Quote from: T234 on September 14, 2007, 03:38:28 PM
I routinely drive 20+MPH over the speed limit on I-64 and don't consider myself a dumbfuck.

Same here on I75, at least until they rose it to 70 MPH... now I try to stick to around 85 MPH
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HLR

T234

  • Canadian Legal Expert and Hillballer
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Re: I propose an adjustment to the highway system to benefit "the reasonable dri
« Reply #10 on: September 14, 2007, 03:45:43 PM »
Quote from: Bloodwake on September 14, 2007, 03:43:08 PM
Quote from: T234 on September 14, 2007, 03:38:28 PM
I routinely drive 20+MPH over the speed limit on I-64 and don't consider myself a dumbfuck.

Same here on I75, at least until they rose it to 70 MPH... now I try to stick to around 85 MPH
My 4-cylinder Cavalier usually hovers around 90.
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CajoleJuice

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Re: I propose an adjustment to the highway system to benefit "the reasonable dri
« Reply #11 on: September 14, 2007, 03:48:56 PM »
I mostly hover around 80, which I believe is 25+MPH on Long Island. Stupid.
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Robo

  • Senior Member
Re: I propose an adjustment to the highway system to benefit "the reasonable driver"
« Reply #12 on: September 14, 2007, 04:12:18 PM »
How about we leave the 20+MPH thing in, but also call for a universal speed limit increase of 10 MPH?  I was thinking more of the situations when I'm driving well over the speed limit and there are people in front of me, but some stupid prick still feels like they need to tailgate me as if it's going to solve anything.  I figure that these are the morons that need to be flooring it before they're satisfied with their speed.

Also, I like the idea of testing out of the DUMBFUCK lane.  Asians can take this test too.  You old turds are shit out of luck, however.
« Last Edit: September 14, 2007, 04:14:56 PM by RoboJ »
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obo

ToxicAdam

  • captain of my capsized ship
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Re: I propose an adjustment to the highway system to benefit "the reasonable driver"
« Reply #13 on: September 14, 2007, 04:18:52 PM »
True story:

I installed my headlights upside down on my car, so I can use them to shine into your rearview mirror and make you either 1) drive faster 2) get out of my way.

 :-[
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Robo

  • Senior Member
Re: I propose an adjustment to the highway system to benefit "the reasonable driver"
« Reply #14 on: September 14, 2007, 04:25:59 PM »
or 3) shade rearview
« Last Edit: September 14, 2007, 04:40:29 PM by RoboJ »
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obo

MrAngryFace

  • I have the most sensible car on The Bore
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Re: I propose an adjustment to the highway system to benefit "the reasonable driver"
« Reply #15 on: September 14, 2007, 05:18:57 PM »
or

4) punch you in teh face
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brawndolicious

  • Nylonhilist
  • Senior Member
Re: I propose an adjustment to the highway system to benefit "the reasonable dri
« Reply #16 on: September 14, 2007, 07:42:36 PM »
people here do drive like shit.  last night I was on the freeway and I see these people entering the highway (2-3 lane HW) and they're ahead of me and so I slow down to like 40(!) from like a 100 yards back and when I get closer I notice that he's actually slowing down and like 20 yards away I see he's going like 20 mph (this is the part where the two lanes fucking merge) and I'm like HOLY FUCK and check my mirror and swerve to the left.  scared the shit out of my parents.

and my teacher went to a city council meeting where they talked about how there's so much racism but that there shouldn't because our city is such a rainbow and somebody mentioned like the joke that asians can't drive.  an asian man stood up and said no, it's jus the women.  and then when she told us some female asian classmates said it really was just the women.
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