Those of us from rural south know how to handle toilet paper shortage. Eat more corn on the cob! The corn isn't important, but the cobs are free and work great! (Just don't flush them!) You're welcome!
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I'm so bad at taking care of plants, I even killed my cactus when I had one. :'(
I do have a beta fish. beta rock cause despite any amount of negligence save forgetting to feed the thing, it will survive.
I had a cactus in college. When I was making out with my neighbor's girlfriend, I had to use it as a projectile to protect myself from his inevitable assault.A worthy sacrifice for a worthy cause. My beautiful face.