orochi warriors just gave me an embolism

[Van Cruncheon]

Drinky says:
get this
Drinky says:
i clear ALL the enemies from the map on the map where i hafta rescue sun jian
Drinky says:
they have no generals and no morale left
Drinky says:
all i hafta do is run back and get sun jian
Drinky says:
to bring him to the escape point
Drinky says:
i am about halfway back to him and i see a red dot -- no biggie i think, it's just a few leftover poop troops
Drinky says:
then SUN JIAN DIES GAME OVER
MAF says:
poop troops win
Drinky says:
he and the four generals protecting him DIED TO 3 POOP TROOPS!!!!
Drinky says:
fucking hell
Drinky says:
the algorithms are WRONG
Drinky says:
they had no morale!
Drinky says:
RAGE
Drinky says:
you cannot leave the generals out of your sight for a MINUTE
Drinky says:
normal is brutal
Drinky says:
*pounds head against desk*
MAF says:
normal is almost impossible without a supercharged character cause the player is compensating for the bad friendly AI

[MrAngryFace]

Heero in the Gundam games goes from super warrior to fuckin lozar depending on the mission, its boggling

[demi]

I think we know both of your names by now (you forgot to change one of them)

So which is it - is the game good or not? Don't flip flop on me. DON'T

Play some Blue Dragon.

[Van Cruncheon]

it's good; it's just not for the faint of heart, and you must be enough of a musou fan to excuse its abusive musou-ness.

[MrAngryFace]

I rage at the unfair DW Gundam missions. I liked how on Easy it didnt get Easier. Sigh, gotta grind some earlier missions for better part combos.

[Van Cruncheon]

i think i'mgonnawini'mgonnawini'mgonnawini'mgonnawinFUCKGAMEOVERBUTIWASWINNINGARRRRRRGH is the worst feeling a game can engender

sadly, that is part of the bipolar musou experience

why does musou hit me

i am such a clumsy woman :'(

[Van Cruncheon]

how do you beat the first sw mission, even on easy? it asks you to defend THREE different generals at three different points on the map, and the moment you run to help one, the other dies. i assist nobutarda oda -- who is always struggling even with just a couple poop troops -- and guan ping, who decides to bum rush the castle after you rescue him. WTF. WTF. WTF. the moment you disband from them, they DIE, even on easy!

[MyNameIsMethodis]

when the battle first starts, switch to mitsuhide akechi and fuckin' AIRDASH your ass to huang zhong. nothing else matters except their safety -- don't stop to fight anyone, and don't babysit your commander, as he'll always find a way to take hits, regardless of whether or not you're defending him. remember, all it takes for the "X IS STRUGGLING PLEASE ASSIST AT ONCE!" message to pop is just one juggle, no matter how slight, so you can safely ignore it for most of this battle, provided that it's done right.

as far as rescuing them is concerned, you want to kill the officers and capture the bases surrounding them as fast as possible. the best way to do that with the sw1 setup is to switch between mitsuhide and nobunaga for field navigation and general killing, respectively. abuse nobunaga's X + RB combo, as it destroys any officer at that stage in one hit. once they're both safe, fight with guan ping until the enemy commander appears, and it should be self-explanitory from there. 
 
good luck. how i miss the ai control of sw2 empires

[MyNameIsMethodis]

also, I WILL OPT TO LIVE ANOTHER DAY, AND RETREAT!
I WILL OPT TO LIVE ANOTHER DAY, AND RETREAT!
I WILL OPT TO LIVE ANOTHER DAY, AND RETREAT!
I WILL OPT TO LIVE ANOTHER DAY, AND RETREAT!
I WILL OPT TO LIVE ANOTHER DAY, AND RETREAT!

IT'S JUST THAT SIMPLE.
IT'S JUST THAT SIMPLE.
IT'S JUST THAT SIMPLE.
IT'S JUST THAT SIMPLE.
IT'S JUST THAT SIMPLE.

WOW, I'VE GOT A LOT OF CATCHING UP TO DO!
WOW, I'VE GOT A LOT OF CATCHING UP TO DO!
WOW, I'VE GOT A LOT OF CATCHING UP TO DO!
WOW, I'VE GOT A LOT OF CATCHING UP TO DO!
WOW, I'VE GOT A LOT OF CATCHING UP TO DO!

oh god how do i turn it off

[Van Cruncheon]

IMPRESSIVE, YOU DO NOT REQUIRE STRATEGY?

[Van Cruncheon]

i did that strategy the first time -- i rushed to guan ping -- and nobutarda got killed. on easy. he got killed.

[MyNameIsMethodis]

fuck, i hate when the fate of a battle rests on some no-name grunt. claim some of the bases surrounding him when you start, which should hopefully give you a decent time cushion to rescue the shu cunts. beyond that, it really is all luck.

as if normal mode wasn't difficult enough, hard mode plugs up your schtupper and lets loose like a fuckin' fire hose.  warriors orochi really is like an abusive spouse -- when it's going smoothly, it's great, since you've normalized whatever idiosyncracies they may have. but then they get drunk, and then they get the belt, and then NO OH GOD HELP ME

[Van Cruncheon]

haha, indeed. i'll do a quick five minute sweep and lock up all the bases on his route to the castle, THEN bumrush up to guan ping and pray for the best. thanks for the advice!

still, why can't my poop troops be as deadly as the enemy ones

[MyNameIsMethodis]

glad to be of help. honestly, it should be pretty smooth sailing after that particular mission.

in the 35 hours or so I've put into the game, i don't think i've EVER seen that message box deliver any positive news. my officers are always the ones getting juggled or routed or defeated.

fuck the allied ai

[Van Cruncheon]

i finally beat the mission -- i capped the four southeast bases, airdashed mitsuhide up to guan ping, wiped out the ambush, airdashed over to huang zhong, smashed the invasion forces from the west, and then looped back to the center to kill cao ren and summon cao pi. cao pi is a fucking bastard on normal -- if i had died from his juggles, i woulda RAGED AGAINST THE MACHINE. now to retry wu mission 5.

btw, mitsuhide is a BEAST! his X-X-X-X-X-A launches enemies so high i can easily repeat it over and over for wholesale boss slaughter.

[MCD]

Don't bother with strategy, run them through!

[MyNameIsMethodis]

i hope you're using hanzo for those wu missions! his RB counter and X-RB are fuckin' insane. X-X-X-RB is also really good for crowd control, too.

hanzo

[Van Cruncheon]

i always use hanzo, in sw2 and this i also like ginchiyo tachibana for her RB+y sword power-up

right now in the sw campaign i am using nobunaga, mitsuhide, and guan ping. i actually like guan ping, since his RB is a two-shotter for most middling generals, even on normal. he's a fuckin' brute and he combos well.

[Van Cruncheon]

had to switch back to easy for the orochi fight. JESUS HELL HE IS THE CHEESIEST BOSS IN A MUSOU GAME EVER. invincibility frames, and most of his attacks do a quarter of your life bar -- and are area effect? ah well, cleared the sw campaign. it's not as satisfying when you hafta switch back to easy, although on normal, it was JUGGLEFEST 2007 in that fight, and orochi polished me off handily. man, it was EASY on easy, though. how unsatisfying. got the achievement nonetheless. yay me!

[MyNameIsMethodis]

yeah, hard to blame you, though -- what's worse about that fight is that orochi generally has da ji and a couple of his snake fatties accompanying him, so if you rush in there on normal, be prepared to witness just about the most impressive juggling act this side of the north pacific.

however, the good news is, when you play as orochi, he keeps the invincibility frames! he's fuck-all broken, and is a ton of fun to use. planting his scythe in dong zhuo's fat ass is probably my favorite moment in the game yet.

also, is it just me, or are most of the skills generally useless? i have level 13 fortitude, and i'll be damned if the difference is anything but pathetically marginal.

[Madrun Badrun]

the algorithms are WRONG


 

[Van Cruncheon]

orochi is unlockable? sweet.