Made some additions before I mail it tomorrow:
"Dear Subway,
Yesterday evening, October 22nd, at 8:30PM I arrived to purchase a sandwich from one of your establishments. Only it was not to be. An angry looking old woman, who I assume to be the manager, confronted me and stated that the Subway is closed, when clearly it was not. When I inquired about the sign out front which stated they were open until 10PM, she insisted it was closed and asked me to leave, saying, "We close at 9PM now."
It was a half hour before 9. What. The. Fuck. . . Subway?
I can only assume that I have been the victim of racial discrimination. Old wretched hags like the store manager are known be, and have been scientifically shown by NASA to be complete and utter racists. I hereby demand a written apology from Subway's CEO Jared and a limitless supply of delicious sandwiches.
The biggest fan you'll ever lose,
This is [signature]
PS: I have a fleet of lawyers on standby, ready rock your nuts at my say so. Racists!"
Maybe someone at the subway customer service center will have a slight laugh at my expense before shredding.
