Author Topic: I watched Bram Stoker's Dracula (on BD) last night (Read 3322 times)

TVC15 · « **on:** October 28, 2007, 05:32:20 PM »

I think I mentioned it before, and it sparked off the bad Keanu threads. Consider this a part 2 or something.

1) The movie was actually better than I remember it being. The pacing is still all over the map after the first act, first too slow, then too fast. The acting around the board is bad. Anthony Hopkins hams it up pretty embarassingly. Somewhat ironically, the only great performance in a cream dream ensemble cast is from the multi-version-of-drac playing Gary Oldman, who fucking owns in everything so that's really no surprise.

2) Keanu is worse than I remember, and the new cut scenes (previously available on a bootleg) show the depths of Keanu. Now, I previously said that this movie was the worst Keanu movie, and Coppola himself said that Keanu was the biggest mistake in this movie, but the cut scenes. . .HOLY SHIT. First of all, quantity. There are maybe 12 or so cut scenes, most of them significant, and some of them contain the absolute worst Keanu acting I have ever seen. That terrible, disappearing and reappearing what fucking country is that surfer dude accent? Woah! Holy shit! FUCK. CUNT. MOTHERFUUUUUUCKER. This might be the worst professional acting I have ever seen, EVER, in a pro movie.

3) Gary Oldman is fucking awesome.

4) The movie has held up really well, visually. Despite being pre-CG, none of the effects shots that I can cleanly recall look anything less than great. This movie still has some whopper effects shots in it that would probably raise eyebrows today.

5) Holy shit.

Eel O'Brian · « **Reply #1 on:** October 28, 2007, 05:35:24 PM »

Yeah, Gary Oldman is a terrific actor. Even in his guest spot on Friends, you could tell he took it seriously enough not to just blow it off like other "guest star" actors might have done.

And he's just about the only good thing in Hannibal.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #2 on:** October 28, 2007, 05:37:16 PM »

I like this movie despite all its faults.

Eel O'Brian · « **Reply #3 on:** October 28, 2007, 05:38:52 PM »

Let's start an official HD home theater thread, without all the creepy format fanboy bullshit that goes on over in that GAF thread.

TVC15 · « **Reply #4 on:** October 28, 2007, 05:39:57 PM »

There's this one blooper scene where Gary as Drac was handling an infant, and the kid starts pissing on him, and he goes in and out of character like so smoothly that it's insane. People say that anyone can act, but just this like, 1 30 second blooper clip is like all the proof anyone would ever need that it's a profession as legit as anything.

EDIT: Anyway, all these terrible cut Keanu scenes, it really appears that Coppola cut out like, the majority of Jonathan Harker re: pretty much the main character, because Keanu couldn't act. That's probably why they had to focus on the dumb love angle that wasn't even in the book.

warcock · « **Reply #5 on:** October 28, 2007, 05:46:31 PM »

I personally believe,a gay man cannot comprehend the finer points of the greatness of this movie though. *FAPS FURIOUSLY*

O MONICA WHERE ARE THOU.

bud · « **Reply #6 on:** October 28, 2007, 05:52:52 PM »

tvc, did seeing monica's tits make you question your homosexuality?

Synbios459 · « **Reply #7 on:** October 28, 2007, 05:54:25 PM »

Quote from: bud on October 28, 2007, 05:52:52 PM

tvc, did seeing monica's tits make you question your homosexuality?

I think he'd rather see Keanu Reeve's balls.

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #8 on:** October 28, 2007, 06:04:29 PM »

Quote from: Eel_O_Brian on October 28, 2007, 05:38:52 PM

Let's start an official HD home theater thread, without all the creepy format fanboy bullshit that goes on over in that GAF thread.

I'm up for it. Just as long as no one invites that VanMardigan nut job.

TVC15 · « **Reply #9 on:** October 28, 2007, 06:08:33 PM »

Look everyone, it's warcock trying to pretend he's straight!

warcock · « **Reply #10 on:** October 28, 2007, 06:13:38 PM »

or bi. LOLZ AM I RITE.
Since you obviously failed your homework the first time im going to give you a hint.

http://www.celebritygo.net/comics3/monica-bellucci/monica-bellucci-nude-02.jpg

TVC15 · « **Reply #11 on:** October 28, 2007, 06:26:32 PM »

WARCOCK THAT SMUT IS NOT ALLOWED HERE. YOU HAVE 5 MINUTES BEFORE I CALIGULA UP THIS THREAD

warcock · « **Reply #12 on:** October 28, 2007, 06:28:10 PM »

HERE CENSORED

Eel O'Brian · « **Reply #13 on:** October 28, 2007, 09:35:42 PM »

Quote from: distantmantra on October 28, 2007, 06:04:29 PM

Quote from: Eel_O_Brian on October 28, 2007, 05:38:52 PM
Let's start an official HD home theater thread, without all the creepy format fanboy bullshit that goes on over in that GAF thread.

I'm up for it. Just as long as no one invites that VanMardigan nut job.

Or OokieSpookie, or just about anyone in that thread, really.

TVC15 · « **Reply #14 on:** October 28, 2007, 09:55:03 PM »

Note: I might *might* be able to take screenshots of HD-DVDs. If I do, I will make HD wallpapers for people that need em.

Smooth Groove · « **Reply #15 on:** October 28, 2007, 10:20:50 PM »

So, TVC, how many pts (on a 10 scale) would you add to a movie just for being HD? I'll add about 3.

TVC15 · « **Reply #16 on:** October 28, 2007, 10:25:23 PM »

It depends on the movie, and how big of a part the visuals play. Since the selection is kind of skimpy at the moment, I am trying to go for either noteworthy movies, or movies that I remember being decent, but with above average visuals.

Smooth Groove · « **Reply #17 on:** October 28, 2007, 10:31:16 PM »

Me too, I mostly go with the HD upgrades with movies that have a bigger emphasis on special FX. I don't care that much about the better sound since DD5.1/DTS were good enough. Besides, speakers and preamps/amps affect sound quality far more than bit rates.

Once you start watching HD, you'll realize that DVDs are a thing of the past. No amount of upsampling can compare to True HD. I hope the studios would hurry up and decide what they want to do so that all movies would come out on HD media.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #18 on:** October 28, 2007, 11:28:56 PM »

The opening scene is so over the top and ugly - yet still captivating. Plus the operatic score pounds your brains in as the movie title is show

If a better actor was cast instead of Keanu - say...Jason Biggs - this would be have so much better

TVC15 · « **Reply #19 on:** October 28, 2007, 11:41:59 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on October 28, 2007, 11:28:56 PM

The opening scene is so over the top and ugly - yet still captivating. Plus the operatic score pounds your brains in as the movie title is show

If a better actor was cast instead of Keanu - say...Jason Biggs - this would be have so much better

And if a better actor than Bloom were cast as lead in Kingdom of Heaven, like, say Stimpy of Ren & Stimpy fame, it would probably be the greatest epic ever.

Smooth Groove · « **Reply #20 on:** October 28, 2007, 11:44:44 PM »

Winona's tits completely naked and in HD could make me ignore Keanu's crappy acting.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #21 on:** October 29, 2007, 12:37:42 AM »

Wionna is so fucking hot. I've had a boner for her since Casper. Seems like she's fallen off the earth since the shop lifting stuff

Smooth Groove · « **Reply #22 on:** October 29, 2007, 12:41:38 AM »

Winona's ex, the lead singer of Jamiroquai, claimed that they broke up because she wanted to play "hide the sausage" too often. He also said that she had enormous breasts that are much bigger than they look on film.

Gay Boy · « **Reply #23 on:** October 29, 2007, 12:44:35 AM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on October 29, 2007, 12:37:42 AM

Wionna is so fucking hot. I've had a boner for her since Casper. Seems like she's fallen off the earth since the shop lifting stuff

She was in the very good A Scanner Darkly and very hot in the (not so good) The Ten. All of which are post-shop lifting.

Ichirou · « **Reply #24 on:** October 29, 2007, 01:04:24 AM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on October 29, 2007, 12:37:42 AM

Wionna is so fucking hot. I've had a boner for her since Casper. Seems like she's fallen off the earth since the shop lifting stuff

Casper was Christina Ricci.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #25 on:** October 29, 2007, 01:06:00 AM »

Quote from: Ichirou on October 29, 2007, 01:04:24 AM

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on October 29, 2007, 12:37:42 AM
Wionna is so fucking hot. I've had a boner for her since Casper. Seems like she's fallen off the earth since the shop lifting stuff

Casper was Christina Ricci.

SAME DIFFERENCE

omg *egg meet face*

Hitler Stole My Potato · « **Reply #26 on:** October 29, 2007, 01:14:46 AM »

Wionna really wasn't any better acting in that movie than Keanu was....still like the film though.

I'll never forget going to the opening of Bram Stoker's Dracula. I took this fucking insanely beautiful girl that I had a crush on for awhile and we ended up leaving during the middle of the film to go have some incredibly dirty, kinky sex....with her roommate. What a crazy fucking night. I found out a few days later that this girl was a "born again" Christian and she actually bought me a bible and took me to her cult-like church. Normally I would've booked but Kari was sooooo smoking hot and in between the bouts of Jesus talk we continued to have fucking insane sex. I was so wrapped up into having 3-ways with her roommate that I even agreed to be baptized into their church. I finally had to call it quits after a few months. Took her to see The Bodyguard and told her after during dinner.

So Dracula-Bodyguard....wierd period in my life.

Ichirou · « **Reply #27 on:** October 29, 2007, 01:16:35 AM »

I'd join a cult that specializes in three-ways with hot chicks. For sure.

TVC15 · « **Reply #28 on:** October 29, 2007, 01:23:39 AM »

Quote from: Hitler Stole My Potato on October 29, 2007, 01:14:46 AM

Wionna really wasn't any better acting in that movie than Keanu was....still like the film though.

I'll never forget going to the opening of Bram Stoker's Dracula. I took this fucking insanely beautiful girl that I had a crush on for awhile and we ended up leaving during the middle of the film to go have some incredibly dirty, kinky sex....with her roommate. What a crazy fucking night. I found out a few days later that this girl was a "born again" Christian and she actually bought me a bible and took me to her cult-like church. Normally I would've booked but Kari was sooooo smoking hot and in between the bouts of Jesus talk we continued to have fucking insane sex. I was so wrapped up into having 3-ways with her roommate that I even agreed to be baptized into their church. I finally had to call it quits after a few months. Took her to see The Bodyguard and told her after during dinner.

So Dracula-Bodyguard....wierd period in my life.

To be fair, Gary Oldman is the only one that puts on a good performance in that movie, and it's a dinger. But Winonna = Keanu? No way! Winonna doesn't do a good job, but at worst she's playing it blank and without personality. Keanu slips into and out of the possibly worst euroWHATan accent I have ever heard like several times in every scene.

And woah.

Gay Boy · « **Reply #29 on:** October 29, 2007, 08:12:27 AM »

Wionna in Beetle Juice > everything

bud · « **Reply #30 on:** October 29, 2007, 08:18:08 AM »

christina ricci was so hot in that vincent gallo movie buffalo '66. that movie's awesome, btw.

bluemax · « **Reply #31 on:** October 29, 2007, 01:23:37 PM »

I still can't get over how cheesy this movie is. Did people honestly take it seriously when it came out? Its practically B Movie grade.

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Author Topic: I watched Bram Stoker's Dracula (on BD) last night (Read 3322 times)