Hah hah, FUCKS, the Church of Scientology wants *ME* (not you) as a member

[TVC15]

They just sent me a letter saying they would like to talk to me.  No doubt they are going to offer to make me a priest or something.  Maybe Tom Cruise singled me out for a rogering.

Should I call them?  Should I join?

[Ichirou]

Join them and bring them down from the inside.

[TVC15]

Join them and bring them down from the inside.

I will send an internal memo to their craziest and most physically distinguished mentally-challenged members containing pictures of tiny ginger balls and penises. 

[Madrun Badrun]

Wilco put you on their mailing list, eh?

[Ichirou]

Why would Danny Bonaduce get naked in public when his weenis is so small, that is what I still don't understand.

BTW, TVC, you know the whole thing about Scientology and the gay community, right?  L. Ron Hubbard was really homophobic and he built that into the whole religion, so they have a lot of closeted celebrities as members.

[Phoenix Dark]

There was an amazing Rolling Stone article on the church, where the writer actually went to the meetings and gave a pretty insightful portrayal of the "church". Even as a religion apologist I can't defend these people, or even call this an actual religion. It's interesting to note that great religious figures who happened to be poor/financially needy like Ghandi or MLK jr. would never be able to rise in this "religion" because of the financial requirements.

[TVC15]

Why would Danny Bonaduce get naked in public when his weenis is so small, that is what I still don't understand.

BTW, TVC, you know the whole thing about Scientology and the gay community, right?  L. Ron Hubbard was really homophobic and he built that into the whole religion, so they have a lot of closeted celebrities as members.

I know, think of all the hot repressed ass I could be getting. I'm not really overtly gay, so I can make those potential slampieces think I am just a compatriot as confused as they are in this fucked up crazy world.

[Smooth Groove]

They just want to brainwash you and steal your money.  My friend's brother was a genius with a PH.D from MIT.  After he became a Scientologist, he got disowned by his family because he practically gave away every dollar he earned to the Church. 

[Ichirou]

I know, think of all the hot repressed ass I could be getting. I'm not really overtly gay, so I can make those potential slampieces think I am just a compatriot as confused as they are in this fucked up crazy world.

Be careful about John Travolta, dude's fat and nasty and looks like an aggressive top.

[Smooth Groove]

I know, think of all the hot repressed ass I could be getting. I'm not really overtly gay, so I can make those potential slampieces think I am just a compatriot as confused as they are in this fucked up crazy world.

Be careful about John Travolta, dude's fat and nasty and looks like an aggressive top.

Would you let Travolta bang you in return for tapping Kelly Preston's hot ass? 

[TVC15]

Fuck no, he's a gayface total.  He likes it in the keister.  And I'll fuck fat ugly old people for money.  Hush money.

[CajoleJuice]

Scientology gets all the hotties.

[Ichirou]

I know, think of all the hot repressed ass I could be getting. I'm not really overtly gay, so I can make those potential slampieces think I am just a compatriot as confused as they are in this fucked up crazy world.

Be careful about John Travolta, dude's fat and nasty and looks like an aggressive top.

Would you let Travolta bang you in return for tapping Kelly Preston's hot ass? 

...yes.

[Phoenix Dark]

They just want to brainwash you and steal your money.  My friend's brother was a genius with a PH.D from MIT.  After he became a Scientologist, he got disowned by his family because he practically gave away every dollar he earned to the Church. 

Yea one of my dad's cousins, who is pretty well off (another dentist) gives all his money to them. It's funny because my dad's side of the family is basically impressive outside of this one fuck up. Especially when compared to the real fuck ups on my mom's side :/

[Smooth Groove]

Fuck no, he's a gayface total.  He likes it in the keister.  And I'll fuck fat ugly old people for money.  Hush money.

That's why I respect you.  You're a whore not a slut. 

[Phoenix Dark]

If I was gay I'd be a mad topper

[Ichirou]

If I was gay I'd be a mad topper

I'd film your pornos.

[TVC15]

Look at you people.  You are all so jealous of me.  A powerful religion with kingmaking powers wants me as a member, and you try to make me shy away.  You ought to be ashamed of yourself.  I could be getting fucked by Tom Cruise in a broom closet at the Oscars, and getting paid for it.  He is a wee little man you know, like 5 ft 3.

[recursivelyenumerable]

I had a friend who was born into Scientology.  Her parents were apparently pretty high up in the church org., and after getting excommunicated for blasphemy or whatever she fled to China and was afraid to set foot in the US for years.

[Ichirou]

I had a friend who was born into Scientology.  Her parents were apparently pretty high up in the church org., and after getting excommunicated for blasphemy or whatever she fled to China and was afraid to set foot in the US for years.

Beck's a Scientologist, born into it as well.

It'd be funny if TVC joined, got fucked by Tom Cruise, and then was mysteriously killed weeks later because a paranoid Cruise feared he'd go to the media with his story and the semen he'd removed from his butt and kept as DNA evidence.

[bagofeyes]

sign up, fagface

[CajoleJuice]

TVC, they've obviously seen your posts where you say you'd become a Scientologist just for the connections.

[Phoenix Dark]

Why would Tom need anal play when he can fuck the fat out of whatsherface

[TVC15]

Why would Tom need anal play when he can fuck the fat out of whatsherface

I hate to break it to you, PD, but Bruce Villanch isn't a girl.

[Ichirou]

TVC, you know when you become a Scientologist they install software on your computer so that you can't view certain websites, right? Like an adult version of NetNanny, only designed so that you don't have access to any websites that might give you a negative impression of Scientology.

[demi]

Look at you people.  You are all so jealous of me.  A powerful religion with kingmaking powers wants me as a member, and you try to make me shy away.  You ought to be ashamed of yourself.  I could be getting fucked by Tom Cruise in a broom closet at the Oscars, and getting paid for it.  He is a wee little man you know, like 5 ft 3.

Everyone knows you are all talk and no action - you have yet to send me my stuff after how many months? Just lock this thread.

[Ichirou]

Look at you people.  You are all so jealous of me.  A powerful religion with kingmaking powers wants me as a member, and you try to make me shy away.  You ought to be ashamed of yourself.  I could be getting fucked by Tom Cruise in a broom closet at the Oscars, and getting paid for it.  He is a wee little man you know, like 5 ft 3.

Everyone knows you are all talk and no action - you have yet to send me my stuff after how many months? Just lock this thread.

If we did a package exchange, I'd send you your stuff.  Look at how quickly I sent distantmantra his stuff.  I'm cool.

[Smooth Groove]

Look at you people.  You are all so jealous of me.  A powerful religion with kingmaking powers wants me as a member, and you try to make me shy away.  You ought to be ashamed of yourself.  I could be getting fucked by Tom Cruise in a broom closet at the Oscars, and getting paid for it.  He is a wee little man you know, like 5 ft 3.

Everyone knows you are all talk and no action - you have yet to send me my stuff after how many months? Just lock this thread.

If we did a package exchange, I'd send you your stuff.  Look at how quickly I sent distantmantra his stuff.  I'm cool.

But Distant is not a poor, like Demi. 

[Phoenix Dark]

Look at you people.  You are all so jealous of me.  A powerful religion with kingmaking powers wants me as a member, and you try to make me shy away.  You ought to be ashamed of yourself.  I could be getting fucked by Tom Cruise in a broom closet at the Oscars, and getting paid for it.  He is a wee little man you know, like 5 ft 3.

Everyone knows you are all talk and no action - you have yet to send me my stuff after how many months? Just lock this thread.

Like Mupepe and my stuff 

[Ichirou]

demi's a filthy poor?  Oh, n/m, then, I don't want to get a package filled with discount coupons for Jell-O pudding snacks.

Also, PD, what's this about Mupepe and your stuff?  Explain.

[recursivelyenumerable]

Beck's a Scientologist, born into it as well. Sad

The interesting thing was that I always assumed the church leaders were running a giant con game and knew it, but she (my former friend)
thinks they're motivated by genuine religious fanaticism. 

[Phoenix Dark]

demi's a filthy poor?  Oh, n/m, then, I don't want to get a package filled with discount coupons for Jell-O pudding snacks.

Also, PD, what's this about Mupepe and your stuff?  Explain.

Mupepe is supposed to send me some stuff but he's been hella busy with work, so I don't bother him about it. He said he blew up on his bosses a few days ago, and I haven't talked to him since then. I hope he didn't get fired. I luv him even if he's late with my stuffz

[TVC15]

TVC, you know when you become a Scientologist they install software on your computer so that you can't view certain websites, right? Like an adult version of NetNanny, only designed so that you don't have access to any websites that might give you a negative impression of Scientology.

I won't tell them about my mobile broadband internet connections, so I will have some freedom so I can read Perez.

[Smooth Groove]

TVC, you know when you become a Scientologist they install software on your computer so that you can't view certain websites, right? Like an adult version of NetNanny, only designed so that you don't have access to any websites that might give you a negative impression of Scientology.

I won't tell them about my mobile broadband internet connections, so I will have some freedom so I can read Perez.

You're assuming that their brainwashing won't be successful. 

[abrader]

take a look at this-

http://www.theta.com/fishman/

My vote is no.

[drozmight]

They used to come knocking at my old apartment all the time.

I'd just stare at them through the peep hole and beat off though.

[Ichirou]

demi's a filthy poor?  Oh, n/m, then, I don't want to get a package filled with discount coupons for Jell-O pudding snacks.

Also, PD, what's this about Mupepe and your stuff?  Explain.

Mupepe is supposed to send me some stuff but he's been hella busy with work, so I don't bother him about it. He said he blew up on his bosses a few days ago, and I haven't talked to him since then. I hope he didn't get fired. I luv him even if he's late with my stuffz

Poor Moops, I haven't spoken to him in awhile either.  I hope he's okay.

[TVC15]

TVC, you know when you become a Scientologist they install software on your computer so that you can't view certain websites, right? Like an adult version of NetNanny, only designed so that you don't have access to any websites that might give you a negative impression of Scientology.

I won't tell them about my mobile broadband internet connections, so I will have some freedom so I can read Perez.

You're assuming that their brainwashing won't be successful. 

I wouldn't be very susceptible.  I'm prone to extreme paranoia and mania, and questioning absolutely everything.  And I'm something of a contrarian.

[The Fake Shemp]

TVC is a power bottom

[Flannel Boy]

TVC, you know when you become a Scientologist they install software on your computer so that you can't view certain websites, right? Like an adult version of NetNanny, only designed so that you don't have access to any websites that might give you a negative impression of Scientology.

I won't tell them about my mobile broadband internet connections, so I will have some freedom so I can read Perez.

Xenu will throw your broadband modem into a volcano. Then, just to be sure he killed your connection, he'll nuke it.

[Phoenix Dark]

TVC is a power bottom

Double anal penetration? I've been unfortunate enough to..stumble across that

[TVC15]

TVC is a power bottom

Yes, but I'd be fucking my way to the top.  Well, right below the top, I suppose.

[BlueTsunami]

You think they got any Chew-Z, TVC? The Scientology movement as a whole has to be tripping balls off something.

[Mandark]

Think "How will my decision affect Mandark?"

It would provide at least a year's worth of thread material.

You HAVE to do this.

[bud]

seriously, i'd love to know what kind of questions they ask during those auditing sessions. they're free for the first time, i think

[Candyflip]

There's a church of Scientology in downtown Sacramento. I've considered going in sometimes for shits and giggles when I pass it.