I injured the hand I masturbate with

[The Fake Shemp]

 :'(

[Madrun Badrun]

don't you have a girlfriend?! 

[Howard Alan Treesong]

or at least an ex you still hang out with!

[The Fake Shemp]

don't you have a girlfriend?!

I've been single for months!

Ironically, my hand was injured by a female who is trying to seduce me!

[Flannel Boy]

G: Just use a fleshlight man. Oh man they're so good. Like a turkey BLT. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

don't you have a girlfriend?!

I've been single for months!

When you get to four years start complaining.  :'(

[The Fake Shemp]

I'm not complaining.  I've been single, but I haven't exactly been celibate since I've dated a few women since then.

Man, this finger injury is fucking weird.  It's my middle finger too.

[Madrun Badrun]

G: Just use a fleshlight man. Oh man they're so good. Like a turkey BLT. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

don't you have a girlfriend?!

I've been single for months!

When you get to four years start complaining.  :'(

When you haven't seen a real girl naked since grade nine then you feel bad about yourself!

O and sorry wilco.  I thought you were still with Crystal. 

[Flannel Boy]

I'm not complaining.  I've been single, but I haven't exactly been celibate since I've dated a few women since then.

Man, this finger injury is fucking weird.  It's my middle finger too.

ToxicAdam: So you massage your prostrate. Good on ya.

[demi]

Normally I'd be aroused at the thought but you're Willco and that just ain't my thing man

[The Fake Shemp]

Here's the deal.  I've been flirtatious horse playing with this female, but when I slapped her, the middle part of my middle finger hit the top part of her finger.  Somehow, in a weird freak accident, she bruised it pretty awful; it's swollen to a ridiculous size, is awfully discolored and makes it difficult or painful to make normal hand gestures. Or even use a mouse!  What a weird fucking thing.

[Madrun Badrun]

I missed how you got from flirting to slapping?

[Flannel Boy]

Note to self:
slap women.

They like it.

Just make sure to hit them in the face.

[drohne]

so basically you got in a slap fight with a girl and you lost

[Madrun Badrun]

Note to self:
slap women.

They like it.

Just make sure to hit them in the face.

Make their lips swell till they can't say no.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

Here's the deal.  I've been flirtatious horse playing with this female, but when I slapped her, the middle part of my middle finger hit the top part of her finger.  Somehow, in a weird freak accident, she bruised it pretty awful; it's swollen to a ridiculous size, is awfully discolored and makes it difficult or painful to make normal hand gestures. Or even use a mouse!  What a weird fucking thing.

you don't slap women with your HAND dummy

[The Fake Shemp]

We're very antagonistic towards one another.  It has evolved from one another calling each dirty pirate hookers and whores to me telling her I was going to punch her in the uterus and she was going to kick me in the balls to us know play hitting one another.  Usually, it's within reason - I'll lovetap her in the arm, she do it back.  I'm not sure how the slapping occurred... we were watching Army of Darkness and the next thing I know my finger is injured!

[Flannel Boy]

We're very antagonistic towards one another.  It has evolved from one another calling each dirty pirate hookers and whores to me telling her I was going to punch her in the uterus and she was going to kick me in the balls to us know play hitting one another.  Usually, it's within reason - I'll lovetap her in the arm, she do it back.  I'm not sure how the slapping occurred... we were watching Army of Darkness and the next thing I know my finger is injured!

I'm getting hot. Thank god my masturabation hand is fine.

[demi]

What a bitch.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

I mean you

[close]

[The Fake Shemp]

I won't be able to masturbate for days.

[Smooth Groove]

At least now you have an excuse to skip the finger foreplay and skp to the main event.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

real men can achieve orgasm through the power of their mind alone

[Madrun Badrun]

I won't be able to masturbate for days.

Blame her for this problem, tell her shes a pirate wench, then get her to fix the problem.  jeez. 

[Flannel Boy]

real men can achieve orgasm through the power of their mind alone

That sounds like Yoda. Not a man.

[Madrun Badrun]

real men can achieve orgasm through the power of their mind alone

That sounds like Yoda. Not a man.

 

[xnikki118x]

Why can't you just masturbate with your other hand?

Maybe it's time to buy a fleshlight.

[Flannel Boy]

Why can't you just masturbate with your other hand?

Maybe it's time to buy a fleshlight.

WOMEN!

[Himu]

Have her jack you off.

Nikki: When a man has masturbated with a certain hand most of his life it's just WEIRD doing it with the other hand. It's like writing with the hand you never write with.

[xnikki118x]

Ah, I get it. Thanks for the explanation, Himu.

[demi]

Uh... you can be ambidextrous too

Sorry if your brains can't handle that, plebes

[Smooth Groove]

Demi, it's easier for you to do it with either hand because you're small.

[demi]

Ok

[Himu]

I'm left handed. Lefties are ambidextrous usually. The only thing I use my left hand for is write and jack off, and its still weird doing it with my right hand.

[bork]

Uh... you can be ambidextrous too

Sorry if your brains can't handle that, plebes

YOU CHEAT ON RIGHTY!??!?

[Smooth Groove]

PD's link seems appropriate for this thread.  It's pretty hilarious. 

http://www.glumbert.com/media/sizematter

[demi]

Uh... you can be ambidextrous too

Sorry if your brains can't handle that, plebes

YOU CHEAT ON RIGHTY!??!?

I'm only looking out for numero uno

[Himu]

PD's link seems appropriate for this thread.  It's pretty hilarious. 

http://www.glumbert.com/media/sizematter

 

[Ichirou]

Man, I don't know what's going on in this thread.  The EB soap opera moves too fast for me.  Last thing I knew, Willco was dating CrystalGemini.

[The Fake Shemp]

We broke up awhile ago.  We're good friends - she actually just came over to eat junk food and watch Fright Night.

[Ichirou]

That's my favorite Roddy McDowall movie.  A true '80s classic.  I even have some of the old Fright Night comics.

Cool that you guys could stay friends - a lot of people aren't able to handle break-ups well.  I know I get all despondent and shit. :/

[demi]

Cause you're a bitch

[Ichirou]

Cause you're a bitch

Probably.

[The Fake Shemp]

We went through a real rough patch and there was a good chance neither one of us would speak to the other afterwards, but somehow, we managed to mend fences.  I think we both really care about one another and genuinely enjoy hanging out, so it's cool to hang out with her and rodi and their family or just watch a horror flick and eat some Jack-in-the-Box.

[CrystalGemini]

That's why God made man with two hands, dummy. 

[Ichirou]

That's why God made man with two hands, dummy. 

Men are physically incapable of jacking it with a hand other than their dominant hand.  It's horrible but true.

[CrystalGemini]

If I can do it, you can do it. 

[Ichirou]

If I can do it, you can do it. 

I can't do it.  I've tried.  I can't keep up consistent speed or rhythm.  I'm sure it's the same for Willco.  I think only ambidextrous dudes can do that type of thing successfully.

Why the hell am I talking about this?

[etiolate]

If I can do it, you can do it. 

You just trippled the PMs

[CrystalGemini]

If I can do it, you can do it. 

I can't do it.  I've tried.  I can't keep up consistent speed or rhythm.  I'm sure it's the same for Willco.  I think only ambidextrous dudes can do that type of thing successfully.

Why the hell am I talking about this?

Practice makes perfect.

If I can do it, you can do it. 

You just trippled the PMs

I'm just saying - it's not impossible!

[MCD]

That's why God made man with two hands, dummy. 

Men are physically incapable of jacking it with a hand other than their dominant hand.  It's horrible but true.

I'm right handed but i always masturbate with my left hand.

[Ichirou]

That's why God made man with two hands, dummy. 

Men are physically incapable of jacking it with a hand other than their dominant hand.  It's horrible but true.

I'm right handed but i always masturbate with my left hand.

You must be some kind of super-mutant.  A preview into the next step of human evolution, as it were.

[Candyflip]

I can use either hand. I made myself learn with my left hand in case something ever did happen to my right It actually makes me think if I spent a lot of time on it I could probably learn to write with my left hand as well.

[MCD]

Could be.

On PC, i type with my left hand only, so you could say my left hand is well trained 

[Ichirou]

Could be.

On PC, i type with my left hand only, so you could say my left hand is well trained 

You don't know how to properly type?

[MCD]

Sadly no  :'(

[Ichirou]

Sadly no  :'(

I took a typing class in high school (it was either that or French).  I can't imagine not knowing how to type yet having to work with computers constantly.  Must be fucking hard. :/

[MCD]

I might take a typing class this summer.

it depends on your PC activity, i don't write long essays or something.

my main use is browsing, and that's it.

[DJ_Tet]

I can switch hit.  Ironically, due to the advent of the internet, my weak hand became my dominant hand over time.  My left used to feel like someone else, and now it's the regular.  My right still feels familiar too though.

You must be some uncoordinated motherfuckers not to be able to switch hit.  I suppose you can only get a girl off with one hand too.  You gotta be versatile, you never know what side of the couch you might get stuck on.

[Smooth Groove]

If I can do it, you can do it. 

I can't do it.  I've tried.  I can't keep up consistent speed or rhythm.  I'm sure it's the same for Willco.  I think only ambidextrous dudes can do that type of thing successfully.

Why the hell am I talking about this?

Practice makes perfect.

It's not the same because women use toys. 

[Mupepe]

i can use my left hand to JO.  I think it was just natural because I can't turn pages or use a mouse with my left hand.

[Human Snorenado]

Jeebus Christ Federwang, you never alternate hands out of boredom or something?  Sit on Lefty for a minute and use it, it's a nice change of pace called "The Stranger".