as the story goes, i was at fred meyer with a wad of cash and nary a dvd or game i wanted in sight. somehow, i wandered out with a copy of essential trance volume 6 and dragonforce's "inhuman rampage," which my boss assured me was "like metallica, but more awesome."
i listened to the entire 56 or so minutes of it during my commute today. i think i spent the whole time laughing at it.
as i told tvc, this album is what you get when a bunch of nerdy nerds get together and engineer speed metal -- it's very technically proficient, and about as artistically compelling or elevated as a bowl of bacon gravy. it's 80's cartoon anthems set to hyper-produced speed metal, mixed with guitar tablature only a meth-jacked fifty-fingered bonobo on fire could play. i didn't think you could make music that was ALL power chords, synth effects, and spazzy hammer-ons. i was wrong.
the whole time i listened to 8 (or 9, i can't recall) identical sounding major chord eruptions -- guitar fugues, if there could be such a thing -- calling themselves individual "songs", i couldn't stop laughing. i imagined some scrawny wow guild leader with lank hair and an alienware pc smudged with dorito dust reverently pressing play on his zune, kicking "revolution deathsquad" into his playlist right as him and 38 other orcs or night elves or whatever slam into c'thun's lair and he wigs the fuck out.
this is THE funniest rock album ever. i didn't know you could fit as many metal cliches into one album as "inhuman rampage" does, and it is "where's waldo" esque hilarity to try and spot them all. just as one crescendo of power chords end, the lead's voice gets pitch shifted -- but that's not the end! there's some deejay style-scratching! silence! and then the lead screams about glory rising in the mountains of shadow! omg!
i give this all the lols in the known loliverse, with a viking helmet on. and a bottle of game fuel filled with 20-sided dice.
