WIMBLEDONTON: Martina Hingis suddenly retires after positive test from...

[The Fake Shemp]

... COCAINE? WTF?

How is that a performance enhancing drug?  They should let her do coke like any other self-respecting famous athlete!  It goes with the territory.  They are legitimately trying to create an argument where cocaine actually enhanced her performance at Wimbledon.

[Candyflip]

I don't even really know about this, but a lot of the times they don't even attempt to make it sound as if it was performance enhancing, they're just suspending people who test positive for illicit drugs because they're illegal. I remember Nick Diaz got his win against Gomi in Pride FC changed to a No Contest because he tested positive for marijuana

[Candyflip]

Coke is a pretty good performance enhancer if used properly, Willco.

When I imagine a tennis player all coked up I think of Wii Tennis when you take the controller and wave it around as fast as you can so your guy swings a million times a minute.

[The Fake Shemp]

I honestly don't think coke would help you in professional tennis.

[Phoenix Dark]

seems like martina is taking back coke for white people. we're tired of it!

[The Fake Shemp]

seems like martina is taking back coke for white people. we're tired of it!

Coke has always been a white people thing - crack is the domain of black folks!

[Phoenix Dark]

we call it diet coke!