College Entry Essays; or, I'ma shit down ever Guidance Counselor's throat

[TakingBackSunday]

 

I have to write three tonight, and they are the gayest shit in an already cavalcade of gay for the admissions process.  They're all like the same question:

What decisions and experiences in your life have been most influential in your decision to apply to Belmont?
What factors in your life have led you to your current choice of major or career path?
What else, if anything, would you wish the admissions committee to know about your candidacy?

I can't write 4 paragraph essays dealing with the same thing, I don't have the patience.   

I think I can bang them out by tomorrow right after school, but dammit, I really wanted my application in by Saturday, but it's gonna be a few weeks late already.  Fuck.

[TVC15]

You're going to have to be able to BS your way through a lot harder writing topics than that in the future   Consider it a test.

[Barry Egan]

thats the same question three times.  Just make one generic essay and plug in the school afterwards.  It shouldnt take more than 2 hours...

[TVC15]

They're not the same question at all.  The first one is asking why he chose the specific college, the second his major or course of study, and the third is asking why the admissions peeps should be interested in him, sort of the opposite of the first.

[drew]

You're going to have to be able to BS your way through a lot harder writing topics than that in the future   Consider it a test.

Bingo.

They're testing you.  If you can't half BS your way through 4 measly paragraphs you're going to have a hell of a time getting through college.

[demi]

College is a lie, just do the right thing and save it for another day

[CajoleJuice]

You're going to have to be able to BS your way through a lot harder writing topics than that in the future   Consider it a test.

Pretty much. 4 paragraphs about this shit is a fucking joke.

[TakingBackSunday]

I realize this, but it's still not fun!

I've bullshitted my way throught harder things.  It's just the fact that these are stressed as pretty much THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS YOU'VE WRITTEN TO DATE JKLHGFKLASDF kinda freaks me out.

[CajoleJuice]

PUSSY

DO THEM

NOW

YOUR FATE HANGS IN THE BALANCE

lolz

[TVC15]

I'll write them all with the exception of the first one, cuz I don't want to have to research that school.  And you have to give me some info for number 2.  Also, be prepared to live the interesting lie I will craft for you.

[CajoleJuice]

I wish I had TVC around back when I had to write my essays. I apparently wrote some pretty good ones, though.

[TakingBackSunday]

Dude, I can write my own essay, it's cool.   

I'm not that pathetic.

[CajoleJuice]

How would they know what BrandNew's writing style is?

Or would they just realize the essays are TOO AWESOME for a high-schooler?

Write one anyway, TVC!

[TakingBackSunday]

I'm a fair writer, but fuck, isn't TVC, like, a pro writer?   

No, I just sorta want the accomplished feeling that I actually did this myself

[CajoleJuice]

Pretty much.  They have a six sense for paid writers, as opposed to merely hiring someone to fix your stuff up.

One of my friends had his older brother write his essays for him. And then I helped him get his SAT score up by memorizing some answers and telling him during the break.

[TVC15]

Dude, I can write my own essay, it's cool.  

I'm not that pathetic.

I can make you pathetic, BrandNew.  I can make you so pathetic that both Bz and Synbios would have pity for you.  Nobody can resist a Pity Party.

[TakingBackSunday]

Pretty much.  They have a six sense for paid writers, as opposed to merely hiring someone to fix your stuff up.

One of my friends had his older brother write his essays for him. And then I helped him get his SAT score up by memorizing some answers and telling him during the break.

How did that even work?  I thought they had like mandated sections for each time period before breaks?  Like you'd be taking the same test section as he would at the same time?

Oh well.  I did pretty ok on my ACT and SAT.  29 for ACT, 1890 for SAT.

I can make you pathetic, BrandNew.  I can make you so pathetic that both Bz and Synbios would have pity for you.  Nobody can resist a Pity Party.

Might as well just assrape me!

[GilloD]

Let's all write one and you can pick the best. 

[CajoleJuice]

Pretty much.  They have a six sense for paid writers, as opposed to merely hiring someone to fix your stuff up.

One of my friends had his older brother write his essays for him. And then I helped him get his SAT score up by memorizing some answers and telling him during the break.

How did that even work?  I thought they had like mandated sections for each time period before breaks?  Like you'd be taking the same test section as he would at the same time?

Well, he had to do go back and switch his answers for older sections. Unless one of the proctors is standing right next to you, they can't tell.

[TakingBackSunday]

Pretty much.  They have a six sense for paid writers, as opposed to merely hiring someone to fix your stuff up.

One of my friends had his older brother write his essays for him. And then I helped him get his SAT score up by memorizing some answers and telling him during the break.

How did that even work?  I thought they had like mandated sections for each time period before breaks?  Like you'd be taking the same test section as he would at the same time?

Well, he had to do go back and switch his answers for older sections. Unless one of the proctors is standing right next to you, they can't tell.

Ah.  Well, yeah.  That's actually a pretty good idea.

Do you know what he scored?

[CajoleJuice]

12-something. This is the old test (not the old-old test of Drinky's time). I think my year was the last without the writing section.

[TakingBackSunday]

The SAT still has a writing section, but it's optional.

[xnikki118x]

My friend put a tiny stick figure of a guy wacking off on the corner of one of his applications and told them it was a printer error.

ROFL what did they say?


I wished the new SAT (out of 2400 points with 3 sections) was around when I was in high school. The last time I took mine as October of 2003, my senior year, and it was still just math and English and out of 1600. I swear I would have scored at least a 650-700 on the writing section, had it been there.

I seriously contemplated taking it when they introduced it, just to see how I would have done for my own curiosity, but College Board has enough of my money already from taking the SAT 5 times and the PSAT twice.

[TVC15]

One of the things that has kept me from kicking going back to school full time into gear is that I'd probably have to take the SATS again.  Actually, I am fairly sure I can connive my way out of it, but that wouldn't prevent me from being prepared to take them just in case I needed to. 

I am sure I could be solid to take them in the space of 2 weeks, but it's so much prep for what is basically a waste of time.  I'd basically have to relearn all the math I've forgotten, for one test, and then go back to forgetting it, because I'll never use it ever ever again.  So basically, taking the SATS may or may not be in the way of one of my goals, but my mantra is to always be prepared, but here, being prepared means relearning a lot of useless shit that is a waste of my time.  And the whole Useless Waste of Time Shit things gets me on the track of thinking if the useless shit I'll pay money to learn in college is even remotely worth all the trouble.  And then I am basically at square one.

I've got a good thing going, but I also have my goals.  Going for my goals involves sacrifices, not just personal sacrifices like money or time, but wasting my good youthful enthusiasm on things that don't matter.  Going for my goals is also, of course, a gamble that may leave me "worse off" than when I started.  So why try, I say?  I have a good thing going now, and the only terrible thing about it is that I understand how people get stuck in the same jobs and careers their whole life.  I'm an ambitious person, and even I'm having trouble avoiding the rut of mundanity.

[brawndolicious]

save your sanity and go to a community college and get a transfer agreement.  you'll see what I mean in one year.

[max_cool]

Do I have to say, yet again, it doesn't really metter where you get your undergrad as long as it's likely that people where you plan on searching for employment have heard of it? Yes I do. Also, it doesn't even matter too much if the person has heard of your school as long as you earned your degree. Grad school and beyond is all that matters, and even then it doesn't matter too much.

Unless you have some sort of godly high school record (not just a 4.0 and a great SAT/ACT score) / or you have "daddy" connections to one of the top ten universities it doesn't matter all that much. Lesson is, unless you get into a top 10 school, maybe a top 15, it doesn't really fucking matter nationally, only regionally.

[CajoleJuice]

Nothing matters lol

I should add that getting into one of those top 10/15 schools is a total crapshoot anyhow.

[Candyflip]

save your sanity and go to a community college and get a transfer agreement.  you'll see what I mean in one year.

Saves your money too.

[TVC15]

save your sanity and go to a community college and get a transfer agreement.  you'll see what I mean in one year.

Not sure who you are addressing, but going to community college for those of us interested in more academic subjects can't really jive with that.  Even with the good community colleges here on the west coast, CC is basically just "filler," like the SATS, only really good for getting you into somewhere better.  If I want to spend time studying something like sociology or critical theory, well, what I learn in CC would maybe cut it for Wikipedia.  If said CC even has the subjects in which I am interested in the first place.

[bluemax]

I think I still have my essay that got me into my current university. Would you like to misappropriate it?

On the CC subject, depending upon where you live you might be better off going straight to college if you can. In Washington its fucking impossible to transfer from CC to the UW from what I hear. My sister ended up transferring to WSU just because it was less of a hassle.

[T234]

Here, It's real easy to transfer to UK assuming your not a total procrastinating fuckup.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

2.35 GPA here

[close]

[TVC15]

On the CC subject, depending upon where you live you might be better off going straight to college if you can. In Washington its fucking impossible to transfer from CC to the UW from what I hear. My sister ended up transferring to WSU just because it was less of a hassle.

Yeah, my (admittedly not very deep) research tells me that this is true with UW.  From talking to admissions there, and discussing this with my brother (who's worked with people from UW), it seems the admissions process for older, not coming from HS people there is particularly over-loaded when ratioed with the school's quality.

It's kind of a shame, because the campus is really nice, and it's right there.  They also have one of the better english departments in the country.

[TakingBackSunday]

Okay, I've finished the first two, but I'm too sure how to start the first one.  I know what I want to say, but intro paragraphs for me are always meh.

[Mr. Gundam]

On the CC subject, depending upon where you live you might be better off going straight to college if you can. In Washington its fucking impossible to transfer from CC to the UW from what I hear. My sister ended up transferring to WSU just because it was less of a hassle.

Yeah, my (admittedly not very deep) research tells me that this is true with UW.  From talking to admissions there, and discussing this with my brother (who's worked with people from UW), it seems the admissions process for older, not coming from HS people there is particularly over-loaded when ratioed with the school's quality.

It's kind of a shame, because the campus is really nice, and it's right there.  They also have one of the better english departments in the country.

What about Seattle U? It's an absolutely wonderful school right in the heart of Capitol Hill. Sure does cost a lot more, though.

[TVC15]

On the CC subject, depending upon where you live you might be better off going straight to college if you can. In Washington its fucking impossible to transfer from CC to the UW from what I hear. My sister ended up transferring to WSU just because it was less of a hassle.

Yeah, my (admittedly not very deep) research tells me that this is true with UW.  From talking to admissions there, and discussing this with my brother (who's worked with people from UW), it seems the admissions process for older, not coming from HS people there is particularly over-loaded when ratioed with the school's quality.

It's kind of a shame, because the campus is really nice, and it's right there.  They also have one of the better english departments in the country.

What about Seattle U? It's an absolutely wonderful school right in the heart of Capitol Hill. Sure does cost a lot more, though.

I didn't look at the tuition--my college back east was a Jesuit school, so I know how much they cost.  I do like the campus, though.

For whatever reason, I have difficulty supporting religious institutions, even if it is for my own gain, in the end.  All those buildings named after saints and what not; it just doesn't feel right to me.  I think it makes me feel like I am taking part in an exploitation that even my conniving heart would not want to be attached to.

[Mr. Gundam]

I went to Pacific Lutheran University for my undergraduate education. That place was religious in name only, thankfully.

[TVC15]

I went to Pacific Lutheran University for my undergraduate education. That place was religious in name only, thankfully.

Well, I kind of dig the Jesuits as an organization, but in the end, it is the Catholic Church, and I am sure that my tuition goes either directly or indirectly to them.  I know a couple of really cool Jesuits, and I know that I would have never ever paid attention to the arts in any serious capacity if not for them.  For being a Catholic order, they are decidedly not very Catholic on a number of matters.

[Mr. Gundam]

I went to Pacific Lutheran University for my undergraduate education. That place was religious in name only, thankfully.

Well, I kind of dig the Jesuits as an organization, but in the end, it is the Catholic Church, and I am sure that my tuition goes either directly or indirectly to them.  I know a couple of really cool Jesuits, and I know that I would have never ever paid attention to the arts in any serious capacity if not for them.  For being a Catholic order, they are decidedly not very Catholic on a number of matters.

My grandpa was a professor of criminology at Seattle U for a long time. It's a nice place, and Emilie is going there right now for her MBA, but yeah, the whole Catholic thing does weird me out.

The whole un-Catholic aspect must be due to the fact that it's a university, the home of open mindedness.

[TakingBackSunday]

Every Christian-based school I've visited hasn't been very Bible-thumping at all, really.  In fact, I LOOK for those type of colleges just because they offer a smaller and more charming community.

[TVC15]

The whole un-Catholic aspect must be due to the fact that it's a university, the home of open mindedness.

Jesuits aren't that bad, really.  There's a reason they are disliked amongst the other Catholic orders.  Without getting into dogma, they are all about experiencing life and being informed, which is why Jesuit schools have such good reputations.  It's even more fun at the college level, because if you get a certain brand of Jesuit, they will tell you to live life to its fullest, and you can only really know what the bad things in life are via experience.  You can be told stories from the bible and all that, but you will never appreciate and understand the bad unless you experience it yourself.  In this way, they also encourage people to draw their own conclusions, and that not all things that are broadly labelled as bad are actually objectively bad.

Most orders will just tell you to follow the fucking bible.  Jesuits tell you to figure it out yourself.  Even if the teachings in the bible are correct, you can't truly appreciate the lessons until you live them.

[Mr. Gundam]

Every Christian-based school I've visited hasn't been very Bible-thumping at all, really.  In fact, I LOOK for those type of colleges just because they offer a smaller and more charming community.

A lot of Christian schools have backed down on the whole Bible-thumping nature. Mandatory church services really cut down on enrollment numbers.

[Flannel Boy]

My university was founded by Anglicans, but it became non-denominational after WWII.

[TakingBackSunday]

I honestly don't mind the mandatory church hours that some of the schools I'm applying to have.  *shrugs*

It's a learning experience, that's how I like to think about it.

[Oblivion]

On the CC subject, depending upon where you live you might be better off going straight to college if you can. In Washington its fucking impossible to transfer from CC to the UW from what I hear. My sister ended up transferring to WSU just because it was less of a hassle.

Yeah, my (admittedly not very deep) research tells me that this is true with UW.  From talking to admissions there, and discussing this with my brother (who's worked with people from UW), it seems the admissions process for older, not coming from HS people there is particularly over-loaded when ratioed with the school's quality.

It's kind of a shame, because the campus is really nice, and it's right there.  They also have one of the better english departments in the country.

Wow, that's interesting. It's the opposite over here in LA. Most of the major universities here have a far higher preference for CC students.

And I was going to suggest to Brandnew to do the same, but if his university works the same way that the ones in Washington do, then nevermind.

Also, I love the SATs, but that's probably cause I just got the highest score in my school. Really the only high point of my academic career. But at least it's something, damn it!

[TakingBackSunday]

I'm a bigger fan of the ACT.  It just feels a lot more...current.  And it rocks that more out-of-state schools are supporting it for consideration.

[xnikki118x]

I go to a Catholic-founded college. None of our buildings are named after saints, but we do have a big statue of Jesus in the lobby of one of our main buildings. There's also a chapel where they hold masses for holidays and special days and on Sundays, but it's not mandatory and I've never gone.

Something interesting: when the college was very young, back in the 1920s, the KKK came and burned crosses on our campus because they didn't want Catholics in the area. Crazy huh?

[brawndolicious]

Not sure who you are addressing, but going to community college for those of us interested in more academic subjects can't really jive with that.  Even with the good community colleges here on the west coast, CC is basically just "filler," like the SATS, only really good for getting you into somewhere better.  If I want to spend time studying something like sociology or critical theory, well, what I learn in CC would maybe cut it for Wikipedia.  If said CC even has the subjects in which I am interested in the first place.

why the hell would your school or teacher be important for that?  I can understand going to writing/book clubs but it's not exactly the type of thing that requires going immediately to a 4 year college after high school.  maybe I'm wrong, why do you feel universities are important (specifically for social sciences) to go to if you want to study them?

[TVC15]

On the CC subject, depending upon where you live you might be better off going straight to college if you can. In Washington its fucking impossible to transfer from CC to the UW from what I hear. My sister ended up transferring to WSU just because it was less of a hassle.

Yeah, my (admittedly not very deep) research tells me that this is true with UW.  From talking to admissions there, and discussing this with my brother (who's worked with people from UW), it seems the admissions process for older, not coming from HS people there is particularly over-loaded when ratioed with the school's quality.

It's kind of a shame, because the campus is really nice, and it's right there.  They also have one of the better english departments in the country.

Wow, that's interesting. It's the opposite over here in LA. Most of the major universities here have a far higher preference for CC students.

California also has one of, if not, the best community College system in the country.  Some schools elsewhere will automatically disqualify students with too much Community College under their belt.  I myself did a short stint at community to erase the fact that I finished highschool despite missing an entire six months of school, and then I got into an excellent college.

WA is pretty good too, if not equal to CA, when it comes to CCs.  This is a problem with UW having an especially annoying admittance process more than anything.

Not sure who you are addressing, but going to community college for those of us interested in more academic subjects can't really jive with that.  Even with the good community colleges here on the west coast, CC is basically just "filler," like the SATS, only really good for getting you into somewhere better.  If I want to spend time studying something like sociology or critical theory, well, what I learn in CC would maybe cut it for Wikipedia.  If said CC even has the subjects in which I am interested in the first place.

why the hell would your school or teacher be important for that?  I can understand going to writing/book clubs but it's not exactly the type of thing that requires going immediately to a 4 year college after high school.  maybe I'm wrong, why do you feel universities are important (specifically for social sciences) to go to if you want to study them?

CC is fine and dandy for functional degrees and the like, but for us nerdos that are interested in academic subjects, not only is the name of the school on your degree important, but you might have chosen your school based on its rep in your chosen field.  If I went to UW and did an english degree, a person that knew their shit could look at it and say "You got an english degree from a school with one of the best english programs in the country."

It has to do with the environment, too.  If I went to a school that had a Big Program in one of my academic interests, I could count on finding like minded people there.  Since I care about niche subjects, that means a lot to me.  I've gone years without being able to have an actual discussion with people on some of my interests.  Community College, go to class then go home, doesn't usually offer a comparable environment.

[TakingBackSunday]

Woot, got done around 3 today.  It was pretty easy, but I felt like I bullshitted too much.  Whatever.

[brawndolicious]

tvc, good points.  I didn't think about it like that.

you felt like you bullshitted too much?  you should know that you bullshitted too much.

[TakingBackSunday]

Well, good to know then.   

I'm pretty confident I did well enough.