Author Topic: CONFIRMED: Square is responsible for the single worst game ever created (Read 3363 times)

TVC15 · « **on:** December 09, 2007, 06:41:34 PM »

Has anyone else played this shameful NES port of Thexder that they did? They've really never been able to get action gameplay working well, have they?

They should have saved us the ensuing several decades of gaming shame and just seppukued right there.

recursivelyenumerable · « **Reply #1 on:** December 09, 2007, 07:35:45 PM »

I think GA did the actual porting there, and Square was just the publisher. Not sure though, but Square's in-house development team at the time was like six people (a few of them are still there today btw) and they were putting out their own games so I don't know where they'd find time to do all those ports.

drohne · « **Reply #2 on:** December 09, 2007, 07:39:09 PM »

how is this not a king's knight thread

bork · « **Reply #3 on:** December 09, 2007, 07:41:07 PM »

Eh, don't know if Square or GA did the port, but as much as I loved Thexder on the Apple IIgs, it never had the greatest control set-up.

Quote from: drohne on December 09, 2007, 07:39:09 PM

how is this not a king's knight thread

How is this is not a Driving Emotion Type S thread?

recursivelyenumerable · « **Reply #4 on:** December 09, 2007, 07:44:05 PM »

DETS was developed by an offshoot of Dream Factory.

King's Knight is definitely a legit Square game though. It was designed by Sakaguchi, music by Uematsu, graphics by Kazuko Shibuya who did the sprites for the first 6 FF games and is still at SE afaik (working on Crystal Chronicles and stuff)

Ichirou · « **Reply #5 on:** December 09, 2007, 07:49:46 PM »

Square has done tons of shitty games. SaGa Frontier. Chrono Cross. Dirge of Cerberus. But I have King's Knight and it is, without a doubt, far worse than any of those.

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #6 on:** December 09, 2007, 07:50:39 PM »

how is this not a xenogears thread

bork · « **Reply #7 on:** December 09, 2007, 07:55:14 PM »

Quote from: recursivelyenumerable on December 09, 2007, 07:44:05 PM

DETS was developed by an offshoot of Dream Factory.

King's Knight is definitely a legit Square game though. It was designed by Sakaguchi, music by Uematsu, graphics by Kazuko Shibuya who did the sprites for the first 6 FF games and is still at SE afaik (working on Crystal Chronicles and stuff)

If it's under the Square name, it's fair game.

TVC15 · « **Reply #8 on:** December 09, 2007, 07:55:57 PM »

Quote from: drohne on December 09, 2007, 07:39:09 PM

how is this not a king's knight thread

King's Knight is actually playable!

bork · « **Reply #9 on:** December 09, 2007, 07:58:45 PM »

Never did play Dirge Of Cerebus. The GAF thread on it back then scared me away from ever trying it.

MCD · « **Reply #10 on:** December 09, 2007, 08:02:22 PM »

Quote from: lyte edge on December 09, 2007, 07:58:45 PM

Never did play Dirge Of Cerebus. The GAF thread on it back then scared me away from ever trying it.

It's Vampire Rain with FF characters.

and Chrono Cross is not shit.

Ichirou · « **Reply #11 on:** December 09, 2007, 08:07:57 PM »

You're right. It's liquid diarrhea.

MCD · « **Reply #12 on:** December 09, 2007, 08:09:02 PM »

Whatever, it's a good game on it's own.

Ichirou · « **Reply #13 on:** December 09, 2007, 08:10:02 PM »

One of the worst games of all time, y'mean. Horrible gameplay system, almost nonexistent story, awful characters (in design and characterization), and the whole "alternate universe" thing would be cool if the alternate universe was actually a little different from the main one.

MCD · « **Reply #14 on:** December 09, 2007, 08:11:26 PM »

I agree on the alternate universe (especially when compared to CT)

tiesto · « **Reply #15 on:** December 09, 2007, 09:39:58 PM »

Thought this was gonna be about FFX2?

demi · « **Reply #16 on:** December 09, 2007, 10:01:13 PM »

EASY - FF6

bork · « **Reply #17 on:** December 09, 2007, 10:41:11 PM »

Square sucks.

demi · « **Reply #18 on:** December 09, 2007, 11:01:01 PM »

anything with that Kawazu shithead

Powerslave · « **Reply #19 on:** December 09, 2007, 11:02:34 PM »

how is this blablabla FFX etc

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #20 on:** December 09, 2007, 11:02:42 PM »

i am going to make your brownhole groan with discomfort, demi

demi · « **Reply #21 on:** December 09, 2007, 11:04:13 PM »

you're making me Kawazy with your poop capades

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #22 on:** December 09, 2007, 11:08:44 PM »

kawazu games are like tight teen pussy begging for your filthy ape cock. they have nothing in common with the sinful sodo-mania that defines a demi-robby gala!

demi · « **Reply #23 on:** December 09, 2007, 11:11:10 PM »

Quote from: Professor Prole on December 09, 2007, 11:08:44 PM

kawazu games are like tight teen pussy begging for your filthy ape cock. they have nothing in common with the sinful sodo-mania that defines a demi-robby gala!

tight teen pussy is boring and confusing to work with, i need someone with experience, someone who knows how to get into the thick of things right from the get-go, and kawazu isn't the guy to provide this

sakaguchi is the one, as blue dragon and soon to be lost odyssey has shown

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #24 on:** December 09, 2007, 11:12:40 PM »

i see your (red and swollen) point

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #25 on:** December 09, 2007, 11:40:02 PM »

Quote from: drohne on December 09, 2007, 07:39:09 PM

how is this not a king's knight thread

That was my first thought as well. Damn that game was crap.

tiesto · « **Reply #26 on:** December 09, 2007, 11:58:57 PM »

Actually, I think I might have found an RPG that is worse than FFX2 and any Xeno game... believe it or not:

http://hg101.classicgaming.gamespy.com/stargazer/stargazer.htm

TakingBackSunday · « **Reply #27 on:** December 10, 2007, 12:11:28 AM »

how is this not about final fantasy XII

TVC15 · « **Reply #28 on:** December 10, 2007, 01:42:39 AM »

I don't think many of you have experienced the gloriousness of Thexder, what with most of you all being unlovable virgins and all. If you had experienced the pleasures of the Thex, I have no doubt that you'd be agreeing with me that Square's *bizarre* NES port was the worst game that they have ever produced. It makes previous Square abortions like the camera in Kingdom Hearts seem like quaint little failures in comparison.

pancakesandsex · « **Reply #29 on:** December 10, 2007, 02:43:18 AM »

Quote from: lyte edge on December 09, 2007, 07:41:07 PM

Eh, don't know if Square or GA did the port, but as much as I loved Thexder on the Apple IIgs, it never had the greatest control set-up.

Quote from: drohne on December 09, 2007, 07:39:09 PM
how is this not a king's knight thread

How is this is not a Driving Emotion Type S thread?

How is this not a Racing Lagoon thread

I win

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #30 on:** December 10, 2007, 03:23:36 AM »

thexder on the amiga was a wondrous delight

TVC15 · « **Reply #31 on:** December 10, 2007, 03:59:59 AM »

Thexder was awesome. It should have been titled I Can't Believe the Japanese Could Make Good Games in the 80s!

Howard Alan Treesong · « **Reply #32 on:** December 10, 2007, 04:55:25 AM »

Chrono Cross is a 10.0!

how is this not a Dirge of Cerberus thread?

ferrarimanf355 · « **Reply #33 on:** December 10, 2007, 08:58:13 PM »

CAR VAULT

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Author Topic: CONFIRMED: Square is responsible for the single worst game ever created (Read 3363 times)