Author Topic: Parish reminds us once again why nobody should listen to him  (Read 6222 times)

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demi

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Parish reminds us once again why nobody should listen to him
« on: December 10, 2007, 03:48:32 AM »
http://www.1up.com/do/feature?pager.offset=0&cId=3164719

Final Fantasy VII: Worth It
Let's be frank: Final Fantasy VII is a goddamn mess of a game. Even the graphical style is ridiculously inconsistent, to say nothing of the shallow wreck that is the Materia system. Even the story sucks: an overly complicated mess that replaces good writing with sloppy complexity. But it's still worth playing just for the experience: This game changed everything, not just Final Fantasy, and it's an essential title for anyone who cares at all about the medium's history. Just don't be surprised by how much it sucks.

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Kingdom Hearts II: Not Worth It
After the success of Kingdom Hearts, a sequel was inevitable. Unfortunately, Tetsuya Nomura's team didn't bother fixing the original's flaws, like the button-mashy combat; instead, they focused their efforts on amplifying its worst excesses. The story, simply mysterious in the first game, has turned into a bloated, ill-conceived mess that makes Compilation of Final Fantasy VII look like a Dick and Jane primer. Gameplay "depth" comes in the form of a lame contextual action button. And Mickey Mouse is a posturing goth. A travesty.

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Final Fantasy XII: Worth It
A bold rethinking of what Final Fantasy can be, FFXII merges the real-time, free-roaming enormity of FFXI with the single-player plot structure of the rest of the series, resulting in a game that spans the gulf between MMO and solo RPGs and feels nearly as much like a Western-developed game as it does a game of its Japanese vintage. Possibly the boldest game in the series -- and one of the best.

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Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: Not Worth It
Marking Square's long-awaited return to a Nintendo system, Crystal Chronicles bore the burden of massive expectations...and lived up to none of them. Which isn't to say it's a poor game, but it suffers from some terrible design decisions. The need for a party member to carry a bucket around is one; the need to invest in a massive tangle of GBAs and link cables is another. A promising start, but hopefully its potential will be realized by its Wii and DS sequels.

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Final Fantasy XII: Revenant Wings: Worth It
FFXII's sequel is a far cry from the vast, somber PS2 RPG; instead, it's a lighthearted portable game that nips at the heels of the real-time strategy genre. While hardcore RTS fans will find it horribly lacking, as a simplified take on FFXII's gameplay, it works pretty well. And it's nice to see Vaan finally get to be a real main character, for once.

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Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars: Not Worth It
This Square/Nintendo crossover could be seen as the spiritual antecedent to Kingdom Hearts and Paper Mario -- but it isn't as good as either. It's visually dated and sports a combat system that seems like a primitive sketch of what would be perfected in Paper Mario, and even the amusing hidden boss that parodies Final Fantasy's highfalutin pretentiousness isn't quite enough to make up for the game's shortcomings.

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Final Fantasy VIII: Not Worth It
The follow-up to Final Fantasy VII took the series in new and unexpected directions, much to the surprise of everyone who expected FFVII Part Two. Materia and armor were replaced by a system that allowed characters to fuse magic spells to their various stats, and summoning monsters became a more intrinsic part of the gameplay than in any previous Final Fantasy. Its daring efforts made it a remarkable (and controversial) experience at the time, but unfortunately, it's vaguely unplayable by current standards due to sluggish battles and a story predicated almost entirely on preposterous coincidences. A streamlined remake wouldn't be so bad, though....

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Final Fantasy Tactics: Worth It
While FFVII was off in the future being superficial, Square's B team was exploring a more traditional setting, expanding FFV's genius job system into something even better, and grafting it all to challenging strategic gameplay lifted from Tactics Ogre. Sony's original English script is a disaster, but the gameplay remains endlessly addictive.

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Secret of Evermore: Not Worth It
A sort of try-hard sequel to Secret of Mana, Square USA's sole creation was a good effort but dragged a little too often to hold up to the years -- and its clumsy alchemic spell system certainly didn't help. The Final Fantasy cameos were a cute touch, though.
fat

Smooth Groove

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Re: Parish reminds us once again why nobody should listen to him
« Reply #1 on: December 10, 2007, 03:53:01 AM »
Sounds like he just thinks most Square games suck, which is true.  

TVC15

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Re: Parish reminds us once again why nobody should listen to him
« Reply #2 on: December 10, 2007, 03:54:31 AM »
Almost as embarassing as one of Corny's posts where he talks about Nintendo and not being a virgin within several sentences of each other.
serge

demi

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Re: Parish reminds us once again why nobody should listen to him
« Reply #3 on: December 10, 2007, 03:55:47 AM »
He says Kingdom Hearts is worth it, while Kingdom Hearts 2 - while better in pretty much EVERY way (graphics, presentation, story, gameplay, yadda yadda) - isn't.

Just wow

At least he acknowledge's IX > VIII

suck it down emofags
« Last Edit: December 10, 2007, 03:57:34 AM by demi »
fat

TVC15

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Re: Parish reminds us once again why nobody should listen to him
« Reply #4 on: December 10, 2007, 03:58:54 AM »
I remember back in the day, on the rpgamer forums, he used to actively brag about how he wanted to grow up to be a pedophile.  And now he lives in SF.  Just sayin. . .
serge

Howard Alan Treesong

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Re: Parish reminds us once again why nobody should listen to him
« Reply #5 on: December 10, 2007, 04:57:03 AM »
telling anyone to play FFVII nowadays is simply cruel
乱学者

Vizzys

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Re: Parish reminds us once again why nobody should listen to him
« Reply #6 on: December 10, 2007, 05:34:46 AM »
materia system > all
萌え~

TakingBackSunday

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Re: Parish reminds us once again why nobody should listen to him
« Reply #7 on: December 10, 2007, 07:40:12 AM »
materia system > all
I like the Esper system in VI much better
püp

Shuri

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Re: Parish reminds us once again why nobody should listen to him
« Reply #8 on: December 10, 2007, 08:35:44 AM »
I'm not sure why people keep linking to 1up articles; they are pretty much considered as a joke no? At least they have a pretty website!

tiesto

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Re: Parish reminds us once again why nobody should listen to him
« Reply #9 on: December 10, 2007, 09:05:18 AM »
telling anyone to play FFVII nowadays is simply cruel

FF7's better than most of the other games on that list...
^_^

Rman

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Re: Parish reminds us once again why nobody should listen to him
« Reply #10 on: December 10, 2007, 09:42:46 AM »
I'm shocked at his thumbs down to Super Mario RPG.  Isn't that a well regarded game?  Maybe I'm looking at it through rose tinted glasses?

Himu

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Re: Parish reminds us once again why nobody should listen to him
« Reply #11 on: December 10, 2007, 11:06:36 AM »
fun fact jeremy parish: the majority of the series is worth playing. no one cares what you think.
IYKYK

recursivelyenumerable

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Re: Parish reminds us once again why nobody should listen to him
« Reply #12 on: December 10, 2007, 11:10:11 AM »
the materia system itself is very cool, it's just that as implemented in the game, the balance is all wrong (FF8's system ditto)  not that Parish would ever be capable of appreciating that distinction.
« Last Edit: December 10, 2007, 11:11:46 AM by recursivelyenumerable »
QED

Himu

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Re: Parish reminds us once again why nobody should listen to him
« Reply #13 on: December 10, 2007, 11:18:44 AM »
because all the other ff's are balanced

ownin fools in ff6 with x-zone and shiat
IYKYK

recursivelyenumerable

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Re: Parish reminds us once again why nobody should listen to him
« Reply #14 on: December 10, 2007, 11:25:46 AM »
it's a relative thing.  FF4/5/6 aren't imbalanced enough that it ruins the experience.
in FF7, certain materia like healing magic are wayyyyyyyyy over-useful.
QED

demi

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Re: Parish reminds us once again why nobody should listen to him
« Reply #15 on: December 10, 2007, 01:07:53 PM »
I'm not sure why people keep linking to 1up articles; they are pretty much considered as a joke no? At least they have a pretty website!

People need to be reminded of such jokes
fat

The Sceneman

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Re: Parish reminds us once again why nobody should listen to him
« Reply #16 on: December 11, 2007, 02:02:38 AM »
saying that FFVII and VIII are shit and XII is good should by punishable by urine
#1

MCD

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Re: Parish reminds us once again why nobody should listen to him
« Reply #17 on: December 11, 2007, 02:06:43 AM »
So...FF7 is shit but still worth it?

lolwut

CajoleJuice

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Re: Parish reminds us once again why nobody should listen to him
« Reply #18 on: December 11, 2007, 02:08:28 AM »
So...FF7 is shit but still worth it?

lolwut

Because it's FFVII, dummy.
AMC

MCD

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Re: Parish reminds us once again why nobody should listen to him
« Reply #19 on: December 11, 2007, 02:16:04 AM »
FF7 was fine back then, and as my first FF, i loved it.

but now, it's a fucking mess and thanks to Square-Enix milking and the annoying fanbase, it's even a bigger mess.

Hitler Stole My Potato

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Re: Parish reminds us once again why nobody should listen to him
« Reply #20 on: December 11, 2007, 02:33:35 AM »
It's been such a long time since I played FF7 that I can barely remember anything about it outside of me absolutely hating the story.  I have no idea how I'd feel if I went back to it today but I'm sure I'd probably hate the story even more.

FF8 - never played it.  Never had the desire to.

FF10 is dogshit.  Mike Vick dead dogshit.  Anyone that actually liked this game is automatically suspect in my book.

FF12 started out fucking great and the story was actually interesting (in a good way) for once but somewhere towards the sand sea the game felt like a book where someone ripped out everyother chapter to the point where I totally lost interest towards the end.  There's seems to be enormous chunks of the game torn out without any real explanation.  FF12 felt like Square attempting to bite off more than they can chew.

FF9 though.....I loved this game.  I don't know why it gets all the hate it does.  Granted I haven't played it in years but I've got nothing but fond memories with this one.  One of the things I appreciate with this one is that the story isn't trying to be fucktard stupid J-cigarillo serious and that definitely helps it go down a hell of a lot smoother.  It's very lighthearted, much like Skies of Arcadia in that respect.  I wish Square would go back and make another like this.
Tacos

demi

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Re: Parish reminds us once again why nobody should listen to him
« Reply #21 on: December 11, 2007, 02:38:22 AM »
9 is so amazing, and when Matheiul releases that popstation that allows multi-disc eboots, i'll be taking a trip down memory lane
fat

MCD

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Re: Parish reminds us once again why nobody should listen to him
« Reply #22 on: December 11, 2007, 02:39:27 AM »
Quote
FF12 started out fucking great and the story was actually interesting (in a good way) for once but somewhere towards the sand sea the game felt like a book where someone ripped out everyother chapter to the point where I totally lost interest towards the end.  There's seems to be enormous chunks of the game torn out without any real explanation.  FF12 felt like Square attempting to bite off more than they can chew.

"Development for Final Fantasy XII began in 2001.[73] Final Fantasy Tactics creator Yasumi Matsuno, originally announced as producer and director, was forced to bow out of both roles midway through the creation of Final Fantasy XII due to health concerns"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Final_fantasy_12

that could be it.

Quote
And until Nomura and Gackt split up, you could expect him to be shoehorned into every FF7 game - i wouldn't die of shock if he replaced Barrat in any remake...

let's see how good FF13 turns out, i don't have faith in it but who knows.
« Last Edit: December 11, 2007, 02:41:03 AM by McDragon »

Hitler Stole My Potato

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Re: Parish reminds us once again why nobody should listen to him
« Reply #23 on: December 11, 2007, 02:43:23 AM »
Quote
FF12 started out fucking great and the story was actually interesting (in a good way) for once but somewhere towards the sand sea the game felt like a book where someone ripped out everyother chapter to the point where I totally lost interest towards the end.  There's seems to be enormous chunks of the game torn out without any real explanation.  FF12 felt like Square attempting to bite off more than they can chew.

"Development for Final Fantasy XII began in 2001.[73] Final Fantasy Tactics creator Yasumi Matsuno, originally announced as producer and director, was forced to bow out of both roles midway through the creation of Final Fantasy XII due to health concerns"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Final_fantasy_12

that could be it.

Yeah, that'd explain a lot of it.
Tacos

tiesto

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Re: Parish reminds us once again why nobody should listen to him
« Reply #24 on: December 11, 2007, 09:01:54 AM »
I wasn't a big fan of 9... oh believe me, I wanted to love it - loved the setting, the throwbacks, the graphics, the characterization... but the combat was farrrrrr too slow-paced, with really long attack/spell animations, and I hated how it seemed like it would take a while after you inputted a move, for your character to actually execute it. Also, I thought the soundtrack (even though it probably has the most songs in videogame history on it) was extremely mediocre, and lacking in the anthems that the series is known for.

FFX had a nice combat system (certainly better than the mess that was FFXII), great graphics and awesome music... but the minigames were fuck-awful (who in God's name approved the lightning dodge minigame?), characters SUCKED except Waka, and the game felt EXTREMELY linear. I'll take it over FFXII any day of the week though!
^_^

Mupepe

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Re: Parish reminds us once again why nobody should listen to him
« Reply #25 on: December 11, 2007, 10:51:48 AM »
what a taco.

vii's story is garbage, especially the the american version's translation.  viii stomps on it in every way possible.

saying vii is worth it, but viii is not, is pure nostalgia speaking.  vii is shit.

recursivelyenumerable

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Re: Parish reminds us once again why nobody should listen to him
« Reply #26 on: December 11, 2007, 05:45:15 PM »
Quote
but the combat was farrrrrr too slow-paced, with really long attack/spell animations, and I hated how it seemed like it would take a while after you inputted a move, for your character to actually execute it.

The animations were at least shorter than FF8's though.  The command input -> execution delay you mention isn't a technical thing, it's a system feature that was also used in FF5 and 6 and is meant to make you think ahead a bit (emulating traditional RPG battle systems where you have to select everyone's move at the beginning of the turn and some might not get executed until later).

FF9 does have incredibly long battle load times that seriously pissed me off.  I'd rate my FF9 experience around 5/10, but without the load times it would be at least a full point higher.  They could do ports of FF8 and 9 to PSP with no load times and no other changes and they'd be worthwhile (but knowing SE they'd probably farm them out to a cheap Tose team who would instead add more load times and slowdown).
QED

Oblivion

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Re: Parish reminds us once again why nobody should listen to him
« Reply #27 on: December 11, 2007, 06:16:41 PM »
what a taco.

vii's story is garbage, especially the the american version's translation.  viii stomps on it in every way possible.

But he admitted FFVII's story is garbage.

y2kev

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Re: Parish reminds us once again why nobody should listen to him
« Reply #28 on: December 11, 2007, 06:18:51 PM »
VII's story is not garbage, but the script is-- the translation absolutely mangled an already hairy scenario.

XII...Matsuno went nuts. Crazy. Last public appearance was E3 2k4. No idea where he is now.

I like 8 quite a bit. 9 is like playing in molasses until you get autohaste.
haw

The Sceneman

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Re: Parish reminds us once again why nobody should listen to him
« Reply #29 on: December 11, 2007, 06:28:45 PM »
whats wrong with FFVII's story? honestly I dont get why you guys are slamming it. It deals with quite a lot of ideas and situations, characters are likable and the story is deep and emotionally involving. But yeah VIII has a better story
#1

The Fake Shemp

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Re: Parish reminds us once again why nobody should listen to him
« Reply #30 on: December 11, 2007, 06:36:07 PM »
None of the Final Fantasy games have decent stories.  Most Japanese RPGs are pretty weak in the story department.
PSP

The Sceneman

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Re: Parish reminds us once again why nobody should listen to him
« Reply #31 on: December 11, 2007, 06:42:53 PM »
yeah as opposed to wrpgs with their amazing narratives
#1

Mupepe

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Re: Parish reminds us once again why nobody should listen to him
« Reply #32 on: December 11, 2007, 09:34:50 PM »
what a taco.

vii's story is garbage, especially the the american version's translation.  viii stomps on it in every way possible.

But he admitted FFVII's story is garbage.
but viii's isn't! :'(

tiesto

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Re: Parish reminds us once again why nobody should listen to him
« Reply #33 on: December 12, 2007, 09:19:59 AM »
None of the Final Fantasy games have decent stories.  Most Japanese RPGs are pretty weak in the story department.

But many of the better Japanese RPGs make up for their cliched stories with good characters and effective pacing.
^_^

Eduardo24

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Re: Parish reminds us once again why nobody should listen to him
« Reply #34 on: December 12, 2007, 11:46:20 AM »
Most jrpgs have terrible pacing and the characters are just animu crap.
DRA

tiesto

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Re: Parish reminds us once again why nobody should listen to him
« Reply #35 on: December 12, 2007, 11:59:24 AM »
Most jrpgs have terrible pacing and the characters are just animu crap.

Most WRPGs have terrible pacing and the characters are D&D stereotypes or floating skulls and shit. See, generalizations can be fun! (I also take it you haven't played many JRPGs outside the FF series)
^_^

T234

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Re: Parish reminds us once again why nobody should listen to him
« Reply #36 on: December 12, 2007, 12:04:26 PM »
Morrowind=Fucking Righteousness No J-RPG Can Touch


spoiler (click to show/hide)
That said, I actually like FF12 and DQ8 for very different reasons.
[close]
UK

The Sceneman

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Re: Parish reminds us once again why nobody should listen to him
« Reply #37 on: December 12, 2007, 02:44:10 PM »
Most jrpgs have terrible pacing and the characters are just animu crap.

Most WRPGs have terrible pacing and the characters are D&D stereotypes or floating skulls and shit. See, generalizations can be fun! (I also take it you haven't played many JRPGs outside the FF series)

:bow
#1

MrAngryFace

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Re: Parish reminds us once again why nobody should listen to him
« Reply #38 on: December 12, 2007, 02:45:46 PM »
Most WRPGs ARE crap, its just people are so floored by being given fucking dialogue choices its kinda silly.

OH SHIT I CAN SAY MEAN STUFF OR KILL THEIR CAT! OMG OMG.

Personally ive had about as much luck with WRPGs are JRPGs which makes them about even in my eyes. Open ended CHOOSAN games can be just as boring as the stuff Square cranks out.
o_0

tiesto

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Re: Parish reminds us once again why nobody should listen to him
« Reply #39 on: December 12, 2007, 03:24:18 PM »
Most WRPGs ARE crap, its just people are so floored by being given fucking dialogue choices its kinda silly.

OH SHIT I CAN SAY MEAN STUFF OR KILL THEIR CAT! OMG OMG.

Personally ive had about as much luck with WRPGs are JRPGs which makes them about even in my eyes. Open ended CHOOSAN games can be just as boring as the stuff Square cranks out.

Totally agree with you, and I think the thing with WRPGs is that they aren't nearly as prolific as JRPGs, so middling WRPGs will always get higher reviews and more praise than a middling JRPG.
^_^

The Sceneman

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Re: Parish reminds us once again why nobody should listen to him
« Reply #40 on: December 12, 2007, 05:00:54 PM »
OMG MY MAN TURNS BROWN AND GETS SPIKEY HAIR IF YOU KILL ENOUGH CATS/CHILDREN AND COMPLETE 50 ESCORT FETCHQUESTS OMG GOTY MASTERPICE

nevermind the dogshit visuals, the same crazy npc soundbite VA over and over and over
#1