Author Topic: Your Least Romantic Sexual Experience  (Read 2698 times)

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BobbyRobby

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Your Least Romantic Sexual Experience
« on: December 17, 2007, 07:23:38 AM »
I was having a party, and it was about 5 in the morning when I started hooking up with this girl in my upstairs bathroom.  I would've waited to use a bed, but there were tons of people sleeping in every room, and it was a drunk heat of the moment type thing.   We locked the door, and started going at it.  We undressed and ended up trying to have sex in the tub, but it was very uncomfortable, so we went on the floor on top of dirty laundry and next to broken glass.    I had terrible whiskey dick, and could not get my dick up, so I started eating her out.  I didn't relize until the next day the incredible low I set for myself.  It was so unromantic and trashy that was almost endearing.

Powerslave

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Re: Your Least Romantic Sexual Experience
« Reply #1 on: December 17, 2007, 07:56:48 AM »
At least you had sex you bitch.

abrader

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Re: Your Least Romantic Sexual Experience
« Reply #2 on: December 17, 2007, 08:48:09 AM »
similar drunk situation at a party long long long time ago. like I was 15ish.....

i jumped in a van with these random drunk people to ride up to the store for supplies (drinks, cigarette, etcd..)

I started making out with the girl i was sitting next to and when we got back to the house everyone got out except me and the girl. We stayed in this random persons van and had sex.

But like you describe it was so clumsy and painful that nobody got off. Hell I remember we got some of her clothes tangled up together (tights + underwear + whatever) and had to rip 1/2 of the stuff off of her. Kinda ruined her outfit for the evening.

I personally am not a big fan of 'drunk sex' for this very reason....

Buzzed/stoned sex on the other hand - :D

Every time i came across that girl (only 2 times after that) I tried to look the other way :( Her friends told me she liked me :(



BobbyRobby

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Re: Your Least Romantic Sexual Experience
« Reply #3 on: December 17, 2007, 09:06:40 AM »
 :lol i love these stories.  you say 'we' had to rip the clothes off of her, did the other people come back and help you rip this girl's clothes off?  must have been pretty awkward.

At least you had sex you bitch.

not in the story I just told

abrader

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Re: Your Least Romantic Sexual Experience
« Reply #4 on: December 17, 2007, 09:34:29 AM »
:lol i love these stories.  you say 'we' had to rip the clothes off of her, did the other people come back and help you rip this girl's clothes off?  must have been pretty awkward.

At least you had sex you bitch.

not in the story I just told

LOL "we" = me and the girl - she was so drunk and it was darkish that she was having a time with her own - we couldnt figure it out....


Mupepe

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Re: Your Least Romantic Sexual Experience
« Reply #5 on: December 17, 2007, 10:37:45 AM »
least romantic?  geez, there are very few sexual experiences that are romantic.

lordmaji

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Re: Your Least Romantic Sexual Experience
« Reply #6 on: December 17, 2007, 10:53:22 AM »
:lol nm... :lol

"... I'm just a toy... :'("  :lol
:-[

Takuan

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Re: Your Least Romantic Sexual Experience
« Reply #7 on: December 17, 2007, 11:04:58 AM »
me blowing a loud fart in mid-pump. we laughed and kept going. romance is overrated, anyway.

Tauntaun

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Re: Your Least Romantic Sexual Experience
« Reply #8 on: December 17, 2007, 11:17:06 AM »
me blowing a loud fart in mid-pump. we laughed and kept going. romance is overrated, anyway.

 :lol
:)

MrAngryFace

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Re: Your Least Romantic Sexual Experience
« Reply #9 on: December 17, 2007, 11:27:39 AM »
hahahahha "whiskey dick" I love it
o_0

Mupepe

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Re: Your Least Romantic Sexual Experience
« Reply #10 on: December 17, 2007, 11:32:02 AM »
oh god i have one.   me and a girl I had previously dated, went to a bar with her ex husband and his brother.

We stopped at jack in the box on the way back to my house.  she and i were in my truck and they were in his car.  We were in front of them and she kept trying to blow me in the drive thru.  then we got to my place like 5 minutes before they did and she just fell on my couch all and is like rambling and pulling off her shirt saying "fuck me before they get here. they can watch"   i just wanted to eat :(

MrAngryFace

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Re: Your Least Romantic Sexual Experience
« Reply #11 on: December 17, 2007, 11:38:16 AM »
you just wanted to eat :(
o_0

Mupepe

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Re: Your Least Romantic Sexual Experience
« Reply #12 on: December 17, 2007, 11:41:54 AM »
it was 2 tacos and a hamburger deluxe :drool

writing that made me run to jack in the crack to get their breakfast... that was a mistake :(

Stocky

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Re: Your Least Romantic Sexual Experience
« Reply #13 on: December 17, 2007, 03:14:28 PM »
What is romance

Himu

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Re: Your Least Romantic Sexual Experience
« Reply #14 on: December 17, 2007, 03:22:02 PM »
i lost my virginity drunk
IYKYK

Stocky

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Re: Your Least Romantic Sexual Experience
« Reply #15 on: December 17, 2007, 03:22:35 PM »
i lost my virginity drunk

How do you know you're the one who lost it, then

Phoenix Dark

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Re: Your Least Romantic Sexual Experience
« Reply #16 on: December 17, 2007, 03:26:27 PM »
i lost my virginity drunk

With the christian older woman who marveled at your 10 inch penis right? Please tell this story again, I'm near the fireplace
010

Bloodwake

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Re: Your Least Romantic Sexual Experience
« Reply #17 on: December 17, 2007, 03:30:11 PM »
In my experience, sex is rarely romantic.

Then again, I've never had it, so whatever.

Funny story, a woman eleven years my senior was feeling up my leg on Thanksgiving Break. She was fucking drunk, and I was fucking scared.
HLR

Himu

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Re: Your Least Romantic Sexual Experience
« Reply #18 on: December 17, 2007, 03:30:36 PM »
i lost my virginity drunk

With the christian older woman who marveled at your 10 inch penis right? Please tell this story again, I'm near the fireplace

she was drunk, and black
IYKYK

abrader

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Re: Your Least Romantic Sexual Experience
« Reply #19 on: December 17, 2007, 03:32:02 PM »
Sex isnt good unless its romantic IMO.

Sex with a girl i really like to be around and have connection with >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> any random hookup ever.


Phoenix Dark

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Re: Your Least Romantic Sexual Experience
« Reply #20 on: December 17, 2007, 03:33:39 PM »
In my experience, sex is rarely romantic.

Then again, I've never had it, so whatever.

Funny story, a woman eleven years my senior was feeling up my leg on Thanksgiving Break. She was fucking drunk, and I was fucking scared.

STORY
010

Mupepe

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Re: Your Least Romantic Sexual Experience
« Reply #21 on: December 17, 2007, 03:34:59 PM »
Sex isnt good unless its romantic IMO.

Sex with a girl i really like to be around and have connection with >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> any random hookup ever.


yeah but that's not saying much.  because a random hookup is still awesome.

so it's like sex with a girl i really like to be around and have a connection with >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> any random hookup ever >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Jacking off

abrader

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Re: Your Least Romantic Sexual Experience
« Reply #22 on: December 17, 2007, 03:35:52 PM »
Yeah I gotta have poppers to make jacking off fun ;)



Phoenix Dark

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010

abrader

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Re: Your Least Romantic Sexual Experience
« Reply #25 on: December 17, 2007, 04:37:23 PM »
OK here is one one from the college era....

So one time my room-mate who I shared a house with had a Friday night party planned.

I had met some interesting girls on campus the day of the party and invited them over.

When I get home my roomate says he has some "ruffies" and offers me one. This was WAYYY back before they came out in the public eye as a date rape drug...My roomate and his male wanna be gangster friends use to take them themselves drink some beer, play some spades and laugh at how fucked up they got - their girlfriends never took them...

So I had a pretty high LSD tolerance in college - so whats a little pill gonna do to a guy who can wrinkle up a sheet of lsd tabs into a paper ball and then just eat the ball? My roomate says "its nothing man its like drinking a 6 pack of beer"

Right before people start showing up I smoked one down with this other group of people and i quickly wash the pill down with water not knowing what im in for.

The girls show up and since the party is mostly BYOB we decide to leave and drive up to the liquor store to get a bottle of something to share...

By the time we get there I feel so fucked up from the ruffie that I cant drive home.

One of the girls drives me back and I remember being very fucked up and making drinks.....then all i remember is taking  one girl into my side of the house and into my room and playing some game where we drank captain morgans spiced rum off of parts of each other bodies...i must have been so drunk chugging rum out of a bottle and off of this chikka like that.

And thats it - the only time I have ever blacked out....I dont know what happened - did I have seX? Did I fall asleep? WTF????

I woke up at 5:00 AM in the living room with my clothes on, my feet up on the couch and my face on the floor....the TV was on channel 00 and the static noise sound was turned up loud.......

So days later the internal questions of "what the fukk happened with the girl in my room" are haunting me hard....

I had her number from when I met her at school so I call and I call and leave a message like once a week that she never returns.....that only makes the feelings of not knowing what happened worse...

Finally two months later she calls me - LOL nothing happened, we were drunk, nude etc but too drunk for sex....we passed out for a while, and then at one point i got up got dressed and walked her to her car. I guess after that I walked into the living room and passed out on the couch/floor.

It took her two months to call me back as school was over and she went home to her parents house. She didnt get my messages till she got back in town at her apartment by campus.

Fucked up - I never took that shyt again....then years later rufinol are all over the news and banned.

My roomate and his friends called them Roche's as they bared the name of the pharm company Hoffman La Roche who manufactured them.



Van Cruncheon

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Re: Your Least Romantic Sexual Experience
« Reply #26 on: December 17, 2007, 05:52:53 PM »
aoi, that is awesome.

sadly, since i do not want maf and tvc giving me horrified looks and/or making jokes about me for the next few daysweeksyears, i decline to comment on this thread
duc

cubicle47b

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Re: Your Least Romantic Sexual Experience
« Reply #27 on: December 17, 2007, 06:32:03 PM »
Once when I was 17 I had sex in an unheated garage in February (we put a towel down on the cement between two cars) while listening intently to make sure her parents didn't open the door and come downstairs.  That was probably the least enjoyable sex I've had.

Human Snorenado

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Re: Your Least Romantic Sexual Experience
« Reply #28 on: December 17, 2007, 08:14:37 PM »
Two incidents come to mind...

One, right shortly after I got to college my friends and I were hanging out at their dorm, which was co-ed.  I had an apartment off campus.  We were talking and drinking, hanging out with these girls from a floor upstairs.  I've always had a large tolerance for alcohol and stayed up all hours, so eventually it was just me and this girl left awake talking in my friend's room.  All of a sudden out of the blue she asked me, "you want to come up to my room and have sex?"  Uh... ok.  It was all very matter of fact and mechanical, some of the most boring sex I've ever had.  We ended up hooking up again later at a Halloween party and had better sex in her car.

Then in 2003, I had broken up with my gf of a couple of years and created a profile on an internet dating site, messaged a girl a couple of times, we went out and got sloppy drunk, went back to my place and had sex all night.  Again, very boring sex.
yar

Madrun Badrun

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Re: Your Least Romantic Sexual Experience
« Reply #29 on: December 17, 2007, 08:16:47 PM »
Man the english do everything right.  Even your least romantic sex sounds good to read.