Author Topic: AvP-R is the greatest Grade-B movie to kill babies... (Read 1706 times)

The Fake Shemp · « **on:** December 25, 2007, 06:21:43 PM »

... and not just one baby, but a whole nursery of babies! They kill women, children, kind-hearted fathers, homeless people and a slew of pregnant women!

The whole film is engineered as some kind of 80s Grade-B monster movie throwback (alien terror crashes into Anytown, USA and threatens populace) with Aliens and Predators in place of your generic drive-in extraterrestial foe. And it succeeds on this level; the only time it breaks ranks and makes you roll eyes is when it attempts to force this installment into Alien/Predator canon at the very end.

If you want to see campy, 80s monster fare with a great knockdown, drag out comic book-inspired fight between two of the genre's most iconic characters - you can do no wrong.

ferrarimanf355 · « **Reply #1 on:** December 25, 2007, 06:27:44 PM »

So, this is the movie that the original should have been in the first place. Awesome.

Yeti · « **Reply #2 on:** December 25, 2007, 06:42:38 PM »

Sounds good, I'll give it a rent when it comes out on dvd.

Gay Boy · « **Reply #3 on:** December 25, 2007, 08:16:52 PM »

out of the christmas day movies released in wide release you saw this over Juno? It's directed by the son of the guy who directed ghostbusters!

I never saw the first AvP but I've oddly heard decent things about this new one. I might rent it when its out, I like me some sci-fi.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #4 on:** December 25, 2007, 09:27:25 PM »

I'm not a gay sap like you, so I don't go head over heels for quirky indie comedies because they're quirky and indie and go well with my overpriced haircut. If I go to the movie theaters on Christmas, I want a pure distraction to entertainment from the pure awfulness that is my so-called life. I probably will see Juno in due time, as I see almost any worthy film in due time, but I wanted to see an 80s monster movie throwback and this is it.

It's more monster movie than science fiction, but it's fun!

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #5 on:** December 25, 2007, 09:37:34 PM »

The other element that also drives this film is actually seeing the Predator fight Aliens and vice versa. The climatic one-on-one fight happens in the movie's closing minutes, but throughout the flick the Predator is fighting various aliens with all kinds of cool shit (laser trip mines!). Only knock on this flick is a cliche first act of establishing various townsfolk who you know will come together near the third act to create what I like to call a "survival band" (only to die one by one), but this is more or less a fault of the film structure for this particular subgenre.

I'm sure Predator and Alien purists will absolutely loathe some of the changes to the various creatures and this by no means matches the high benchmarks of each franchise. This is a monster movie through and through, and the best one the Hollywood system has churned out since Slither (both reminiscent of the 80s monster movie wave).

bud · « **Reply #6 on:** December 25, 2007, 09:39:41 PM »

that does sound fun, actually. btw, what did you think of the first one?

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #7 on:** December 25, 2007, 09:40:31 PM »

I thought it was a painfully mediocre waste of celluoid.

Himu · « **Reply #8 on:** December 25, 2007, 09:48:35 PM »

Quote from: Willco on December 25, 2007, 09:27:25 PM

I'm not a gay sap like you, so I don't go head over heels for quirky indie comedies because they're quirky and indie and go well with my overpriced haircut.

BU...BUBUBUT MICHAEL CERA!!

bud · « **Reply #9 on:** December 25, 2007, 09:50:14 PM »

cheebs probably wouldn't even like it if it had a <60% rt rating

Gay Boy · « **Reply #10 on:** December 25, 2007, 10:03:25 PM »

I like a lot of shitty movies. Juno is great cause Diablo Cody is one fucking awesome writer and the cast is phenomenal.

As for AvP, do they ever have references or in-joke things to the first two films?

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #11 on:** December 26, 2007, 01:33:59 AM »

There are a handful of references to the original films ("Get to the chopper!"), but not too many and the directors try hard to make this a monster movie first and foremost. Honestly, the worst part is a convoluted plot device designed to tie in this incident to the Alien/Predator canon right at the end of the film.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

The United States military complex, after successfully nuking a good portion of Colorado - takes technology recovered from the Predator to a "Ms. Yutani" suggesting that the Predator technology was one of the foundations of Weyland-Yutani Industries.

[close]

A funny bit of cinema trivia is the Predator the species dispatches to clean up the mess left by the Predator ship crash landing (with the Predator-Alien hybrid on board) was nicknamed "Wolf" after the character with similar job skills in Pulp Fiction (cleaner).

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #12 on:** December 26, 2007, 02:12:43 AM »

I told my father-in-law that I'd go see this with him on Thursday... I haven't been to a film of this "pedigree" in at least five years!

Yeti · « **Reply #13 on:** December 26, 2007, 03:00:11 AM »

I didn't know the Predators even had names, let alone names based off of Earth animals.

Bloodwake · « **Reply #14 on:** December 26, 2007, 03:55:06 AM »

So yeah, this movie is B movie awesome at it's finest.

And, this wins the Academy Award for Most Testicles.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #15 on:** December 26, 2007, 05:34:35 AM »

I imagine the backlash from fans of the respective franchises will be a lot worse than Paul W.S. Anderson's original PG-13 flick. The first one was mediocre and painfully safe; it totally wasted the characters, but save for some continuity errors with the Alien canon, it really didn't offend anyone. This one is dark and mean, takes massive liberties with both franchises and churns out something that really hasn't seen the light of day in this decade or the last one. But I'd rather see something like this, which is entertaining at least on one level, then something that is basically censored fan fiction filmed by a barely competent director.

My guess is that fans will detest this installment and clamor for a return to each series' roots, but the problem is that just cannot be done within these crossover films. We're essentially dealing with comic book movies, complete with all their faults, and you're not going to be able to replicate what made the original films so great in dealing with the material like this. But - fuck it! - if you're going to have monsters duke it out, do cool shit like this. Make it Grade-B. It's better than it deserves to be.

Eric P · « **Reply #16 on:** December 26, 2007, 08:50:17 AM »

i went to see National Treasure with my folks. it wasn't that bad. escapist fare.

Gay Boy · « **Reply #17 on:** December 26, 2007, 09:20:42 AM »

Despite Alien 4 being horrible I would really like to see them do an Alien 5 other a million new AvP movies.

HyperZoneWasAwesome · « **Reply #18 on:** December 26, 2007, 01:10:38 PM »

speaking of unexpectedly good sequels to shite P. Anderson movies, was there anybody else who dug the heck out of Resident Evil: Apocalypse?

Yeah, it was dumb as hell, but it was at least entertainingly ridiculous and Nemesis was rendered especially well(actually well done practical effects). Its got a kung-fu zombie fight just pretty much for the hell of it, and gratuitious explosions and a naively racist jive talkin black guy. There's lots of actually funny one-liners too. Its thousands of miles away from good cinema, but I thought it qualified pretty well as an excellent big budget B-movie.

Anybody else, or was that just me?

Gay Boy · « **Reply #19 on:** December 26, 2007, 01:12:29 PM »

Apparently I am seeing this tonight

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #20 on:** December 26, 2007, 02:40:10 PM »

It's funny reading the fan reaction to this movie. I called it - this is going to end up getting more hate than Paul W.S. Anderson's mediocre first outing.

Here's the deal. There will never be a classic Alien vs Predator movie. It won't happen for the same reason any VERSUS movie won't match the benchmarks set for their respective characters - the concept is ridiculous. Each character has a series with defined rules and forcing two sets of rules in one film will always result in fanboys getting burnt. Even moreso, these are monster movies. This is not Ripley vs Dutch. This is not a movie about two characters with a storied history that you can craft a character movie around. These are two monsters that don't speak a lick of dialogue. Trying to create a "Ripley" or a "Dutch" for any versus film would defeat the purpose - which is to see these two monsters fight.

Going in expecting this to be Ridley Scott's Alien (or Jim Cameron's Aliens) or McTiernan's Predator is absolutely distinguished mentally-challenged.

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #21 on:** December 27, 2007, 06:57:49 PM »

Just got back from seeing this with my father-in-law. Wow, I haven't been to a real mainstream genre movie in ages... the crowd (mind you, I saw this in Omaha, NE) was almost worse than the film itself. They laughed HARD at trailers for Meet the Spartans and First Sunday... I know I'm a movie snob, but at least I know my place back home. I stay in my indie theaters, they stay at their megaplex.

There were some fun action scenes, and it was hillarious how they attempted to turn Michelle Dessler into Ellen Ripley. It was still REALLY bad, though.

Also, I think my father-in-law and I were the only ones who even picked up on the Yutani reference at the end of the film.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #22 on:** December 27, 2007, 07:29:37 PM »

That's because you guys are cool.

Also, that Meet the Spartans trailer was horrible.

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #23 on:** December 27, 2007, 07:49:32 PM »

Quote from: Willco on December 27, 2007, 07:29:37 PM

Also, that Meet the Spartans trailer was horrible.

I always wonder how much better the world would be if the money that goes into making movies like Date Movie, Meet the Spartans, etc. was used to feed and clothe the poor and starving.

The people in the crowd were genuinely laughing their asses off at the trailer. I don't go to megaplexes on a regu... well, ever, so I have no idea if this is commonplace behavior.

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Author Topic: AvP-R is the greatest Grade-B movie to kill babies... (Read 1706 times)