how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies

[Van Cruncheon]

...they start assigning arbitrary scores to them and ranking them.

really, it's almost to the point now that i won't read remarks on movies around here if i see an X/10 at the end of them. it seems to be a peculiarity endemic to our more shallow observers of cinema, as though they can manufacture truth or canon from contrived enumeration rather than articulate arguments backed with experience.

movies, like games, don't deserve scores or ranking save as part of a trolling effort. discuss!

[Flannel Boy]

I give this thread a 6.9/10

[MrAngryFace]

or someone who calls a movie that isn't pedestrian exactly that, and then waits for someone to define what he meant by that for him before claiming he was trolling all along.

[Van Cruncheon]

i give this thread dirty dumpster head in the cage behind burger king

[Flannel Boy]

 

[demi]

you got zinged in your gaf thread dood

[Van Cruncheon]

don't i know it; that's what i get for watching 30 rock while tabbed browsing

i blame the superior ie7

[MCD]

IE7 

[demi]

d00d :bear

[Flannel Boy]

IE7 

I give it 4 firefoxes out of 12 Operas.

[brawndolicious]

giving a movie a score is totally useless and is usually an indication that the person doesn't trust their own opinion and is vaguely rating how much the movie rubbed him the right or wrong way.  I know that 99% of people that give movies a score are too dumb to understand movies.  yes I'm saying that.  I shit on your opinions movie-scorers.  bitches.

[Flannel Boy]

giving a movie a score is totally useless and is usually an indication that the person doesn't trust their own opinion and is vaguely rating how much the movie rubbed him the right or wrong way.  I know that 99% of people that give movies a score are too dumb to understand movies.  yes I'm saying that.  I shit on your opinions movie-scorers.  bitches.

Professional reviewers do it because it is demanded of them. Some of us online do it because we aren't film experts and just want to communicate how we generally felt about a movie.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

I kind of agree, giving something a numeric score in normal discussion is just dumb

[demi]

haha people are taking your thread on GAF seriously, who got the last laugh now

dood!

[MCD]

I prefer A/B/C score system.

[Flannel Boy]

I prefer A/B/C score system.

I give this post a BJ.

[Van Cruncheon]

giving a movie a score is totally useless and is usually an indication that the person doesn't trust their own opinion and is vaguely rating how much the movie rubbed him the right or wrong way.  I know that 99% of people that give movies a score are too dumb to understand movies.  yes I'm saying that.  I shit on your opinions movie-scorers.  bitches.

Professional reviewers do it because it is demanded of them. Some of us online do it because we aren't film experts and just want to communicate how we generally felt about a movie.

numbers: because words are hard

[brawndolicious]

Professional reviewers do it because it is demanded of them. Some of us online do it because we aren't film experts and just want to communicate how we generally felt about a movie.

I'm not talking about professional reviews.  I don't read them.  Doing that on a forum still doesn't make sense.  I'd prefer to know what the movie is about, what it does right, and what it does wrong.  if it extremely good, then give examples.  that actually tells me something.

[MCD]

Malek 

[Flannel Boy]

giving a movie a score is totally useless and is usually an indication that the person doesn't trust their own opinion and is vaguely rating how much the movie rubbed him the right or wrong way.  I know that 99% of people that give movies a score are too dumb to understand movies.  yes I'm saying that.  I shit on your opinions movie-scorers.  bitches.

Professional reviewers do it because it is demanded of them. Some of us online do it because we aren't film experts and just want to communicate how we generally felt about a movie.

numbers: because words are hard

edit: I can still use emoticons, right?

[Human Snorenado]

I was going to say "they're a teenager from Michigan", but this works as well.

[TVC15]

You know what I know?

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[youtube=425,350]ZQcUS4chhc4[/youtube]

[close]

[Phoenix Dark]

Ratings are a general way of expressing one's feelings on a film. Some may say something like "the movie was rather average to me" during a conversation, while others may say "the movie was like a 7/10 type film to me". Both comments are similar and I haven no problem with either.

[CajoleJuice]

Who the fuck gives ratings in everyday conversation?

[Oblivion]

movies, like games, don't deserve scores or ranking save as part of a trolling effort. discuss!

Really, you think so? Even if you don't use numbers, you would still need to point out if X game/movie is better than Y game/movie, wouldn't you?

[Mupepe]

who decides which number means what?

[Bloodwake]

I give ratings on the internet.

The difference is that I give GOOD ratings with some explanation that makes some fucking sense behind it.

[brawndolicious]

Really, you think so? Even if you don't use numbers, you would still need to point out if X game/movie is better than Y game/movie, wouldn't you?

no.  most games, like most movies, do a bunch of shit different and that could make somebody prefer one over the other regardless of the score.  maybe an ABCDF system could work but that's a maybe.

[bud]

i just realized that pretty much the only people on eb who keep rating every movie and make top whatever# lists are pd and gay. maybe it's a michigan thing.

[Gay Boy]

i just realized that pretty much the only people on eb who keep rating every movie and make top whatever# lists are pd and gay. maybe it's a michigan thing.

I don't do it in real life. PD does. I remember he did it to me once and I found it hilarious. I use it on the internet because its an easy way to explain something. In real life I never would. PD does though. 

He gave back some movie he borrowed and was like "it was about a 7.5" and I laughed and told him I couldn't believe he used numbers in real conversation.

I give ratings on the internet.

Yeah, just the internet. When I hear it out of someones mouth in reality (like PD did) it freaked me out.

[Powerslave]

Not just movies but I cant stand ratings for anything. I never read reviews.

[Mandark]

Hey guys!  I just watched The Quantification Of Cheebs: How I Forged An Identity And Unearned Sense Of Authority Through Numeric Ranking.

I'd give it a 6/10, which isn't bad for a Lifetime movie.

[Van Cruncheon]

when am nintenho is arguing against you and making sense -- a celestial event if there ever was one -- you're on the wrong side.

[MrAngryFace]

Yes but in your world these numbers are only accurate when grouped with GOOD reviews with numbers that ALIGN with the review.

You look at PD here all alone at evilbore posting his bad reviews all alone and its just a horrible representation of a movie.

[Gay Boy]

PD posting weird lengthy roger ebertish reviews has become somesort of insane EB tradition, it won't go away.

Plus, I mean who can deny the greatness of his Unforgiven review thread?

[MrAngryFace]

its just hard to read things that are wrong. its like being sent to school with a math book telling you 2+2=3

[Gay Boy]

I am too lazy to find it but the most under-rated review in terms of insanity is the one where he gave that forgettable 90's kids movie Matilda a 10/10.

[Barry Egan]

Hey guys!  I just watched The Quantification Of Cheebs: How I Forged An Identity And Unearned Sense Of Authority Through Numeric Ranking.

I'd give it a 6/10, which isn't bad for a Lifetime movie.

 

[Madrun Badrun]

I like giving unless ratings of media. 

[Phoenix Dark]

Yes but in your world these numbers are only accurate when grouped with GOOD reviews with numbers that ALIGN with the review.

You look at PD here all alone at evilbore posting his bad reviews all alone and its just a horrible representation of a movie.

Whatever softbun, I like most movies you like - and considering you like Underworld and T3 you're not a bastion of great taste either

[CurseoftheGods]

giving a movie a score is totally useless and is usually an indication that the person doesn't trust their own opinion and is vaguely rating how much the movie rubbed him the right or wrong way.  I know that 99% of people that give movies a score are too dumb to understand movies.  yes I'm saying that.  I shit on your opinions movie-scorers.  bitches.

Professional reviewers do it because it is demanded of them. Some of us online do it because we aren't film experts and just want to communicate how we generally felt about a movie.

Exactly. That's why I do it.

[Mandark]

Numbers are a good a system as any if you're just looking to gauge the general critical reception by aggregating a bunch of different reviews.

It's pointless on an individual basis.  A score adds nothing to a well written review, and it doesn't save a poorly written one.

I think a lot of the time listmania comes from wanting to act like an authority, prolly from not having other ways to establish identity or individuality.  This condition is fairly common in teenagers and Manabytes.

[CajoleJuice]

I give Manabyte's life a 1/10.

[Phoenix Dark]

I give Manabyte's life a 1/10.

That's also his mortality rate, what a coincidence

[Van Cruncheon]

i'm not complaining about professional reviewers. i'm complaining about forum idiots who do it to portray a false sense of authority, or to pre-emptively establish canon. TALK ABOUT THE FUCKING MOVIE. don't try to excuse your lack of insight through spurious comparisons or arbitrary enumeration.

[Bloodwake]

Funny story: I didn't put a score on my Doctor Who Christmas Special review.

Follow the example fuckers.

[Van Cruncheon]

you'll note that tvc, maf, and ichi never put scores on their reviews, either.

[CajoleJuice]

I might have snuck a score once in a blue moon, but the vast majority of the time, I don't.

[The Fake Shemp]

I give dumb scores - like GERSTMANNS out of GERSTMANNS or B-

[Phoenix Dark]

you'll note that tvc, maf, and ichi never put scores on their reviews, either.

Solo does

[Van Cruncheon]

solo also writes like he's writing for a college paper overall

[The Fake Shemp]

You write like your writing for Usenet, so YOU SHUT UP!

[Mandark]

You write like your writing for Usenet, so YOU SHUT UP!

Are you deliberately trolling me?

[The Fake Shemp]

Maybe I'm am, Mandark.  Maybe I'm am.

[Van Cruncheon]

my forum style has completely flip-flopped since my usenet days, when i fastidiously observed rules of syntax and grammar, and never abused the emdash

[The Fake Shemp]

I see life has worn you down.  Way to give up!

[CajoleJuice]

He's probably wearing sweatpants right now.

[bud]

i am now picturing george sitting behind his desk, tabbed browsing the interweb using ie7, wearing sweatpants

[Oblivion]

when am nintenho is arguing against you and making sense -- a celestial event if there ever was one -- you're on the wrong side.

I was just seeking clarification, that's all. 

[Flannel Boy]

Maybe I'm am, Mandark.  Maybe I'm am.

 

He's probably wearing sweatpants right now.