Those of us from rural south know how to handle toilet paper shortage. Eat more corn on the cob! The corn isn't important, but the cobs are free and work great! (Just don't flush them!) You're welcome!
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For future reference - just quote someone who does it to see how they do it.ps: Phoenix Dark w/ a chappelle avatar? I take it that means you've seen the best 24 episode ever from season 3?