Author Topic: What's the best way to get rid of Jehovah Witness'?  (Read 1087 times)

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flonamen

  • Junior Member
What's the best way to get rid of Jehovah Witness'?
« on: January 12, 2008, 09:03:21 PM »
Around 7 this morning I was awoken by a loud knock, so I opened to see an old lady, a woman, and some girl that looked to be around 7 standing at my door. I said hello and they asked me if I went to church, I said no, the older lady asked if she could read a couple of scriptures, being half-awake and not wanting to be rude I said sure, she read something from Job about suffering and death or some such, and then handed me some pamphlets. She then asked if she could come back sometime and to my dismay I said yes :'( Does anyone have any tips to get rid of them? Or what do you do when they knock your door?

BTW, in one of the pamphlets they gave me there's this hilarious passage: "The fact that we have an inborn desire to live and an enormous capacity to learn leads to a logical conclusion: Humans are designed to live much longer than a mere 70 or 80 years. This, in turn, leads us to another conclusion: There must be a Designer, a Creator, a God. The immutable laws of the physical universe and the unfathomable complexity of life on Earth fully support belief in the existence of a Creator.

Oh and it also has a section asking where you see pornography mostly :lol

bud

  • a smudge of excrement on a tissue surging out to sea with a million tons of raw sewage
  • Senior Member
Re: What's the best way to get rid of Jehovah Witness'?
« Reply #1 on: January 12, 2008, 09:07:50 PM »
i guess you could say that you're already religious. like, a jew, or a muslim, or that you're a member of the baha'i faith.
zzz

drew

  • sy
  • Senior Member
Re: What's the best way to get rid of Jehovah Witness'?
« Reply #2 on: January 12, 2008, 09:11:08 PM »
Tell them to leave or you'll call the police.  Shut the door on them.  Learn how to be rude.

Same goes with filthy beggars.

AdmiralViscen

  • Murdered in the digital realm
  • Senior Member
Re: What's the best way to get rid of Jehovah Witness'?
« Reply #3 on: January 12, 2008, 09:19:48 PM »
Answer the door naked. With shit on your dick.

TVC15

  • Laugh when you can, it’s cheap medicine -LB
  • Senior Member
Re: What's the best way to get rid of Jehovah Witness'?
« Reply #4 on: January 12, 2008, 09:57:47 PM »
semi-automatic shotguns.  Works on mormon missionaries, too.  That's value.



If you want to put a little effort, and are confident in your acting skills, pander to them poorly enough that they know you are mocking them.  This works very well with scientologists.
serge

Fresh Prince

  • a one-eyed cat peepin' in a seafood store
  • Senior Member
Re: What's the best way to get rid of Jehovah Witness'?
« Reply #5 on: January 12, 2008, 10:05:27 PM »
You should of said you'll be doing gardening/house chores later on.
888

Eric P

  • I DESERVE the gold. I will GET the gold!
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Re: What's the best way to get rid of Jehovah Witness'?
« Reply #6 on: January 12, 2008, 10:26:29 PM »
i had witnesses change my car tire when it had a flat once.

best visit ever
Tonya

Cormacaroni

  • Poster of the Forever
  • Senior Member
Re: What's the best way to get rid of Jehovah Witness'?
« Reply #7 on: January 12, 2008, 10:46:59 PM »
Allow them a glimpse of the bloody human head in a pot on your stove. Then smile and ask them in.
vjj

Eric P

  • I DESERVE the gold. I will GET the gold!
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Re: What's the best way to get rid of Jehovah Witness'?
« Reply #8 on: January 12, 2008, 10:58:59 PM »
"you're missionaries?  that's kind of hot.  prefer reverse cowgirl myself, but you're the guests."  start undoing your belt "ok, who's first?"
Tonya

CurseoftheGods

  • just hanging around, being shitty
  • Senior Member
Re: What's the best way to get rid of Jehovah Witness'?
« Reply #9 on: January 12, 2008, 11:04:18 PM »
Answer the door naked. With shit on your dick.

Oh God. :lol

TVC15

  • Laugh when you can, it’s cheap medicine -LB
  • Senior Member
Re: What's the best way to get rid of Jehovah Witness'?
« Reply #10 on: January 12, 2008, 11:06:10 PM »
Answer the door naked. With shit on your dick.

Oh God. :lol

I say naked, shit on the dick, while
spoiler (click to show/hide)
wearing a cravat
[close]
serge


lordmaji

  • It's a joke, not a dick, so don't take it so hard!
  • Senior Member
Re: What's the best way to get rid of Jehovah Witness'?
« Reply #12 on: January 12, 2008, 11:31:04 PM »
tell em you're not interested.

Be cocky if you want, but if you want to be nice then tell them no thanks.
:-[

brawndolicious

  • Nylonhilist
  • Senior Member
Re: What's the best way to get rid of Jehovah Witness'?
« Reply #13 on: January 12, 2008, 11:35:58 PM »
ask them what they think about "divinity".

they will shit themselves.  my friend did it to some JW's once and they had no idea what he was talking about.