Author Topic: anyone going to see cloverfield? harry knowles sorta liked it (Read 1838 times)

Eel O'Brian · « **on:** January 13, 2008, 11:51:45 PM »

after reading harry knowles' jackoff letter about it, i don't want to see it anymore

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #1 on:** January 13, 2008, 11:54:26 PM »

Is it really a Power Rangers movie?

border · « **Reply #2 on:** January 13, 2008, 11:58:23 PM »

Harry Knowles gives great reviews to everything. If his opinion held that much sway, you wouldn't see 90% of the stuff that gets released.

Eel O'Brian · « **Reply #3 on:** January 13, 2008, 11:59:58 PM »

I'm just talking about the way every one of his reviews reads like a Penthouse Letter. I feel icky after reading them. I'll probably still see the movie, but I'll think about that letter, and just yech.

border · « **Reply #4 on:** January 14, 2008, 12:01:22 AM »

What was the movie he watched for his most famous review -- the one with the extended oral sex metaphor?

Eel O'Brian · « **Reply #5 on:** January 14, 2008, 12:10:16 AM »

here are just a few choice quotes from harry they can pull and put on the dvd case:

"… it has a tail, it has teeth and freaky eyes like that horse that died in ANIMAL HOUSE."

"An intimate perspective on an impossibly grand scale human disaster beyond most human levels of comprehension."

"Like SAVING PRIVATE RYAN, but instead of Nazis it’s a giant monster."

"It’s a fairly real situation that could happen to anyone."

"There’s no score, there’s no rules, there feels like there’s no script and no movie. "

"Folks – CLOVERFIELD is worth the obsession, worth the months I’ve had to put up with fans wondering what the hell it was – worth having to deal with reporters asking me what it was – and I didn’t know either."

"A complete reinvention of the disaster movie, the giant monster movie and even the love story."

goddamn he is such a terrible writer

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #6 on:** January 14, 2008, 12:10:45 AM »

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #7 on:** January 14, 2008, 12:13:37 AM »

I stay away from Aint It Cool.

However, we're going to see Cloverfield next weekend with our friends. Should be fun, if nothing else.

TVC15 · « **Reply #8 on:** January 14, 2008, 12:17:34 AM »

I am undecided. I haven't followed the hype (hype being a surefire way to ruin enjoyment of something fun. GAF needs to learn this), but reviews seem to be saying good-not-great.

This means I will go and see it and enjoy it a lot more than the breed of pre-made fanboys that are expecting it to be the BEST THING EVAR. Because when it is not the best thing ever to them, it becomes the WORST THING EVAR. And then there's the deluded manabyte set that will convince themselves that it is THE BEST THING EVAR even if it is just 90 minutes of a fat sow crapping in Kathy Bates's mouth.

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #9 on:** January 14, 2008, 12:18:25 AM »

lol Harry Knowles

MrAngryFace · « **Reply #10 on:** January 14, 2008, 12:48:15 AM »

He's so fat

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #11 on:** January 14, 2008, 12:51:22 AM »

Quote from: Dr. William Weir on January 14, 2008, 12:48:15 AM

He's so fat

He's also drooling-at-the-mouth distinguished mentally-challenged, a dangerous combination.

Mandark · « **Reply #12 on:** January 14, 2008, 12:58:11 AM »

All the teaser stuff is just... so full of yuppies.

Howard Alan Treesong · « **Reply #13 on:** January 14, 2008, 01:00:24 AM »

he mentions in his cloverfield review that he's so fat he's in a wheelchair

TVC15 · « **Reply #14 on:** January 14, 2008, 01:12:29 AM »

Quote from: Synthesizer Patel on January 14, 2008, 01:00:24 AM

he mentions in his cloverfield review that he's so fat he's in a wheelchair

Why would someone admit to that!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?

SpudBud · « **Reply #15 on:** January 14, 2008, 01:13:44 AM »

Quote from: Synthesizer Patel on January 14, 2008, 01:00:24 AM

he mentions in his cloverfield review that he's so fat he's in a wheelchair

Wow, that's pretty fat.

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #16 on:** January 14, 2008, 01:19:36 AM »

Quote from: TVC 15 on January 14, 2008, 01:12:29 AM

Quote from: Synthesizer Patel on January 14, 2008, 01:00:24 AM
he mentions in his cloverfield review that he's so fat he's in a wheelchair

Why would someone admit to that!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?

Why would you admit to having a collection of pantyhose commercials on 16mm? Who knows what goes through his head?!

Ichirou · « **Reply #17 on:** January 14, 2008, 01:20:42 AM »

I thought he was having a gastric bypass done so he would lose weight?

TVC15 · « **Reply #18 on:** January 14, 2008, 01:22:26 AM »

Quote from: Ichirou on January 14, 2008, 01:20:42 AM

I thought he was having a gastric bypass done so he would lose weight?

He probably realized he wouldn't be able to eat buckets of cheese anymore and decided against the surgery.

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #19 on:** January 14, 2008, 01:25:13 AM »

According to RottenTomatoes forum, the "official" reason why he's in a wheelchair is "because of an accident in which he got run over by a cart full of Star Wars memorabilia that he was pushing up a ramp."

TVC15 · « **Reply #20 on:** January 14, 2008, 01:28:02 AM »

You know, somehow that is even worse.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #21 on:** January 14, 2008, 03:26:19 AM »

Quote from: border on January 14, 2008, 12:01:22 AM

What was the movie he watched for his most famous review -- the one with the extended oral sex metaphor?

I'm pretty sure it was Blade 2.

TVC15 · « **Reply #22 on:** January 14, 2008, 03:41:45 AM »

I wonder what studio PR people think of Harry. They probably think he's a godsend. They know he can be easily excited by like, a free trip to the set of BRATZ. They know that for whatever reason, a lot of people read his garbage. I bet the PR people think that Harry is smart for a movie fan, that surely the people that follow him are even dumber. This is how a studio thinks shit like Transformers is a good idea.

AICN is what Al Qaeda needs to look at next.

Eric P · « **Reply #23 on:** January 14, 2008, 08:31:54 AM »

i used to read dark horizons fairly regularily but they kept linking to aicn stuff, so i started to just read aicn

it was horrible

now i don't follow any movie news

Tauntaun · « **Reply #24 on:** January 14, 2008, 11:16:20 AM »

Quote from: TVC 15 on January 14, 2008, 01:22:26 AM

Quote from: Ichirou on January 14, 2008, 01:20:42 AM
I thought he was having a gastric bypass done so he would lose weight?

He probably realized he wouldn't be able to eat buckets of cheese anymore and decided against the surgery.

This made me

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Author Topic: anyone going to see cloverfield? harry knowles sorta liked it (Read 1838 times)