Suggestions requested. Help me with an English dialogue

[Ichirou]

Tomorrow we have a shopping lesson in school.  The past couple of years I used this handout I made that turned out pretty decent, but this year's students are a bit more advanced than last year (I credit that to my improved teaching skills  ), so I'd like to add a bit of humor to the lesson.  We always open a new lesson with a short dialogue the students have to listen to while filling in the blanks.  This is the dialogue we used last year:

Salesperson: May I help you?
Customer: Yes, please.  I’m looking for a (1)sweater.
Salesperson: What size do you want?
Customer: (2) Medium, please.
Salesperson: What color do you want?
Customer: (3) Purple, please.
Salesperson: How about this one?  It’s a very (4) comfortable sweater.
Customer: It looks good.  How much is it?
Salesperson: It’s (5) forty dollars.
Customer: How cheap! I’ll buy it.
Salesperson: How will you (6) pay for it?
Customer: I’ll pay with my (7) credit card .       

(The numbered stuff is what shows up blank on their sheets that they have to fill in)

When we did a lesson on eating out, we did a short skit where I played a shitty waiter who kept bringing in the wrong food.  For this, I'm trying to think of something similarly stupid (i.e., very simple for them to understand, amusing in that you have two teachers acting like jackasses in front of the classroom) where the two speakers will change their speaking tone during the conversation (happy or upset, for example), since the students have to practice the dialogue in pairs afterwards.

Any ideas?

[The Fake Shemp]

GameStop Employee: Would you like to ______ this product warranty?
Prole: No, I would like my _______ game.
GameStop Employee: Sir, I am afraid I'm going to have to ask you to watch your ________ in front of the children.
Prole: I will fist you in your _____ with a PlayStation 3 if you don't give me my copy of Final Fantasy: Revenant Wings.
GameStop Employee: I am afraid I am going to have to ______ you service.
Prole: I'm sorry - can I pre-order a _______ to make it up?
GameStop Employee: Really?  Why certainly!  All is ________.
Prole: Hah! I was _______, I hope you get ass cancer and die.
GameStop Employee: Your _______ ruse is not welcome here!  Begone foul mouthed customer!
Prole: So much _____.

[Ichirou]

So much homo!

[Madrun Badrun]

 

Thats great wilco.

[Van Cruncheon]

i got my daughter to say "i need to drop a deuce" when she wants to take a dump! I ROCK.

[Ichirou]

Any serious suggestions are welcome, tho.  Preferably something to do with clothes shopping.

[Van Cruncheon]

father: are you okay, sweetie
daughter: i need to make potty, daddy. potty from the back, not the front.
father: gross. you need to poop, then?
daughter: daddy, i need to drop a deuce.

better?

[Ichirou]

The topic is shopping, my nucca

[Van Cruncheon]

father: let's go shopping
daughter: no, daddy, no no no no
father: what's wrong, sweetie?
daughter: i need to drop a deuce.

[Ichirou]

I can tell you're very proud.

Feck, how can I make a dialogue on shopping slightly amusing.  I don't wanna just repeat the same shit as last year, so boooring.

[Madrun Badrun]

In enemy of the state, will smith shopping for panties was amusing. 


Black men and panties will bring the funny. 

[Ichirou]

I don't have access to black men (or panties ).

Come up with something clever, Arvie.  You're a budding scholar!

[bork]

Maybe you can do something similar to the dialogue to of my students made...these kids came up with this skit on their own and won first place at the speech contest year.  Basically, change up the money counting stuff so that the customer rips off the clerk, or the clerk rips off the customer.  Here's an example:

Salesperson: May I help you?
Customer: Yes, please.  I’m looking for a (1)sweater.
Salesperson: What size do you want?
Customer: (2) Medium, please.
Salesperson: What color do you want?
Customer: (3) Purple, please.
Salesperson: How about this one?  It’s a very (4) comfortable sweater.
Customer: It looks good.  How much is it?
Salesperson: It’s (5) fifty dollars.
Customer: How cheap! I’ll buy it.
Salesperson: How will you (6) pay for it?
Customer: I’ll pay with (7) cash.  So that's 10, 20...oh, excuse me.
Salesperson: Yes?
Customer: How much is that jacket over there?
Salesperson: It's thirty dollars.
Customer: I see.  ...And 40, 50.
Salesperson: Thank you.
[/quote]

[Ichirou]

Hey, clever.  I could make gigantic fake dollar bills for that.  Thanks lyte edge.

[Van Cruncheon]

customer: i would like to buy a playstation 3.
salesperson: you're the first person this month to want one. can i interest you in the superior xbox 360 (tm microsoft) product?
customer: superior? tell me more!
salesperson: only with the graphics processing power of xenos (tm microsoft and ati) and the always-on internet gaming experience of xbox live (tm microsoft) can your next generation gaming expectations be truly fulfilled. also, have you considered a zune 4 (tm microsoft), zune 8 (tm microsoft), or zune 80 (tm microsoft) for your portable music needs?
customer: wow, consider me sold!
salesperson: and don't forget to purchase a home server from one of our approved channel resellers, like dell or hp, with a genuine windows copy of windows home server (tm microsoft)!
together: LET'S MICROSOFT FUTURE! THANK YOU GATES-SAMA!
customer: i need to drop a deuce.

[Ichirou]

Nice try but I'm already going with lyte edge's suggestion, except instead of asking for the price of another sweater I'm gonna ask "Hey, is that Johnny Depp over there?" "Johnny Depp? Where?!" "Oh, I was wrong, it's someone else. ...40, 50.  Here you are."